What happens to the soul after suicide?

Written by Lynette Hoy NCC, LCPC

soulsuicideWhat happens to one’s soul/spirit after suicide?I recently had a close friend commit suicide and I am so worried that she will still not be at peace with herself. She had an anxiety disorder due to a troubled childhood and although she loved life, her friends, and her family, she just could not be independent as she could not relax.

We struggled together with this for so long. She was a creative and loving individual who had traveled much and lived away from us for a few years, so she had known independence. She feared for her sanity – she explained to me that she wanted to die because she actually did love herself and the constant thoughts going through her head would eventually turn into madness. I dearly love her and couldn’t bear to think that she will eternally go through this struggle. I am searching within myself to find meaning in my loss.

Advice: It’s obvious that you were and are a very close and loving friend. You have suffered with your friend right up to the end and beyond. You cared about her welfare, her emotional and spiritual state. But, now this tragedy has occurred and no matter what you or anyone tried to do – she has passed into eternity.

First of all, I want to tell you that your friend’s suicide and death was not anyone’s fault. Her suicide was the result of her choice and her psychological instability. Don’t let false guilt and self-blame take over. You and others tried to help. But, this woman is the one who made the choice despite all your pleadings and intervention.

Secondly, you need to grieve your friend’s death. You will go through several stages of loss: shock and denial, protest and dealing with the reality of her death, anger, confusion, depression and finally, reorganization. It’s normal to grieve. It’s important to care for yourself. You may need counseling. Go to your pastor for prayer and support. Read your Bible, especially the Psalms and the gospel of John. Jesus talks about God’s love for you and for the world, His plan to give you eternal life (John 3:16) and abundant life (John 10:10). Scripture will bring you comfort and hope for the future – hope for eternity.

The Bible does have stories about people who committed suicide but, it doesn’t talk about where their souls went – to heaven or to hell. But, Jesus promised: “I am the resurrection and the life – he who believes in me though he may die – yet shall he live.” John 11:25 If your friend trusted in Christ as her Lord and Savior – she is in heaven today. How do I know? Because Jesus said “I am the way, the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father but by me.” John 14:6

Jesus claimed to be God, to speak the truth and the words of God. He died on the cross for the sins of the whole world and then, rose from the dead on the their day. Over 500 witnesses saw the resurrected Christ!
Because of these facts – you can have great hope for the future! You can trust that Christ loved your friend greatly and will judge her justly.

Suicide is a devastating experience to those who loved its victim. Suicide happens because the person is so depressed and has not received the appropriate treatment – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

But, suicide, though a sin, can be forgiven – at the foot of the cross where all sin is wiped away when one believes in the Savior who sacrificed Himself to redeem the world.

You will never feel comfortable with what happened. A life was lost. But, you can trust that God can bring good out of this circumstance. God can become more personal to you in this time of suffering. God can give you courage and make you a person of character with strong values. God can demonstrate His love and comfort to you during your pain. God can give you more wisdom to help others who have suffered.

This world is a broken place – a place that is not our home. We are just passing through. Your friend could not stand the emotional and mental turmoil she experienced. But, you can. You and God can go on.

She ended her stay on earth and God allowed her to do it. He did not cause her to do it because He is not the author of evil. He does allow people to make choices which are against His will. But, you can find hope and courage to discover God’s will for your earthly life. You can leave a legacy that will give others hope for tomorrow and for eternity.

If you find you are depressed and anxious because of this – see a counselor. You can find a counselor. God bless you as you discover what He has in store for you even in the midst of this loss.

Take a look at your life. How would you describe it? Contented? Rushed? Exciting? Stressful? Moving forward? Holding back? For many of us it’s all of the above at times. There are things we dream of doing one day, there are things we wish we could forget. In the Bible, it says that Jesus came to make all things new.

What would your life look like if you could start over with a clean slate?

Living with hope

If you are looking for peace, there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.

Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.

Is this the life for you?

If you invited Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.

Read more about faith
Read more about depression, anxiety, and fear
Read about grieving
Read more about suicide

Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC

© copyright 2003 Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC

 

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249 Responses to “What happens to the soul after suicide?”

  • Rashid says:

    Hi
    Doris
    Rashid again
    I used to think why so many people married and have children and happy but the truth I found out when I got married and I found out that marriage just of being married is not happiness. It seems outside that wonderful people are living but we don’t know their internal life how happy they are it look good from the out side. I will say we should look for the person who come from the holy spirit not person we choose because that person is famous. Marriage is only God way other wise single life is best I am so happy God has bless me with gifts of children.

  • Doris Beck Doris Beck says:

    Rashid
    You are most welcome! And i so agree that meeting the right person has more to do with being the right person than finding mr/miss perfect out there!! Too often we forget that God wants us to seek His face first and foremost.

  • Rashid says:

    Hi
    From Rashid to Doris Beck
    Thank you for understanding and noticing you are spritual.
    Doris Beck from child hod I always wanted to know the path of my life to walk on but finally holy spirit touch me and my life and reward me what I wanted and with help of other spritual I found the living right way from other like yourself. I hope people read this who are searching of right way my answer will be to them God is creator’s of all. That what we have to build up our faith omaha Him. Then we can expect all good thing like wife and childrens. Truth is we have to love holy spirit with no condition. And every night we have to pray to ask His help.
    I have been through tuff time but if holly spirit was not looking over at me I could not made it with out His love for me.
    My request to everyone who is searching for partner.First thing we have to make ourself capable to handle. What we want.it is not because many of you think that why I am single? I believe Holly spirit is preparing me for that special person. It does not mean He is going y I bring a partner for me. But I am sure He is going to create a event to meet that special person. MEETING A Right Person Is Upon ME HOW Soon I CAN prepa Free my self sooner

  • Doris Beck Doris Beck says:

    Rashid,
    I am so glad that you have that assurance of your salvation and that you know that having that personal relationship with Jesus is what makes a difference in your life! Thanks for passing that on!

  • Rashid says:

    Hi
    Every one we all are happy. I know for sure my life has been blessed and fulfilled because of believing on holy spirit and praYing accepting him my savior.all I can lots we have desire I assure you if every night pray to holy Spirit and start focusing on messages of Jesus we all going to see difference in our life.important to follow God and Jesus message. It has come difference in my life your can be too.
    God Bless take care all

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Evily, thank you for joining in the conversation here. Are you basing your belief about Jesus on His words? He referred to Himself as “Lord of the Sabbath” (Matthew 12:8, Mark 2:28, Luke 6:5) The Sabbath was established by God based on His actions in Creation. The reason that Jesus could take that title was that it was He who created in 6 days and rested on the 7th.

  • Shelley Shelley says:

    Dear Father God.

    Lord I lift up anyone who is thinking of suicide, that they will seek you but also seek someone to talk to that can help them in this area of the life. In Jesus Name Amen

  • Rashid says:

    Hi
    Evily Mang
    I believe and i faith on both both, are holy spirit.
    I think both need our love and respect, I am not to judge or anyone else. I hope Manga you will love both and I assure you life is going to change.can you please love them don’t judge them thank you

  • Rashid says:

    God is owner of my life and believe He will bring the perfect person that us my faith because I am following His way not worldly way my way are fail.

  • evily mang says:

    [expletive removed] jesus is not god
    hes mesengr of god
    >_<

  • Rene says:

    Brittany, I was really moved by your comments. I once dated a girl in the 90′s and loved her very much even though she had bipolar disorder. It’s what eventually led to a painful break up. But I can relate to your pain about life in general. Did you ever ask God why you are bipolar? Millions of people have asked why there is so much suffering and evil in the world. Why the hell do we even have to go through all this horror and pain anyway? I’m afraid there is NO real answer to this question. Just speculation and opinion.
    But what really hit me is that you said you are only still alive because of your mom! I feel the same way! I too love my mom so much.(I have no one else in this world to care for) When she leaves me someday in the near future, the enormity of such a loss will be too overwhelming for me to overcome. I know that I will not be able to continue my physical existence on this earth anymore.
    I send to you and your mom, all my love.

  • Doris Beck Doris Beck says:

    Pam,
    Losing the love of your life is such a difficult road and you are so right, it is a different kind of pain but still incredibly painful! Although you feel that you have no purpose in life, since you are still here, God obviously thinks you do. Ask Him to show you that in the midst of the grief. I would also like to pray for you right now:

    Dear Heavenly Father,
    I pray for Pam today. Lord, You are the God of all Comfort, and I ask that today and in the coming days that You would comfort her. Lord she is asking for You to give her a reason for living, and I ask that You would do that for her. Help her to see the sunshine at the end of the dark days Lord and remind her that Your word promises that though weeping lasts for the night, joy comes in the morning. Amen

    Pam, we have a wonderful team of online mentors that would love to walk alongside of you in your pain. Just fill in the form on this page and someone will email you. http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/

  • Shelley Shelley says:

    Dear Father God.

    Lord I lift up my sister to You at this time as she is seeking Your grace upon her and that as she looks to you that you will show her compassion and love for her and that she is important to You and the people around her. In Jesus name amen

  • Pam says:

    I am so sorry to read these tragedies and suffering of those who have posted. God is part of us all, and Jesus, as his human teacher showed us the way. My beloved husband passed 44 weeks ago, and my suffering is grief, Although it may be a diiferent kind of pain, I can truly understand the depth of suffering of anyone who wants their human life to end. I pray for mine to end each day, and for my soul to be allowed to return home to eternal peace. I no longer have a purpose in life – my soulmate has gone. I’ve prayed endlessly for peace and for purpose, but it doesn’t come. I too feel that I’m here to save other’s feelings. They want me here, but as I don’t want to live, are they being selfish by wanting to avoid their own grief? No one can fix this, it won’t change and I pray to our Lord that he will be merciful and allow me to pass naturally – today.

  • Kate Kate says:

    Hi TSISD,

    Wow. Seems like you poured your heart out here. Thank you for your honesty. Life is really tough and sometimes (a lot of the time?) things really are miserable, for sure.

    One thing that caught my eye is your line “I am not a good person” —- did you know that that is the truth? None of us, in our heart of hearts, are good people. We may do good things occasionally or even be good for a while, but at the core the human heart is full of things like cruelty, selfishness, greed, prejudice, impatience, vengeance, hate and violence. You are not the only one! We are all alike, that is what the bible says. It is for exactly that reason that we need a saviour – to save us from our own treacherous hearts!

    If you are familiar with the bible at all, you might know the apostle Paul, who lived a few decades after Jesus. He converted to Christianity…. and after he converted, he wrote many letters to different Christian churches as they were growing in faith. Some of these letters are collected in the bible, in the New Testament. For Christians, Paul’s writings are foundational, they form the basis of much of what we believe and how we understand God’s activity in the world. What I am saying is that Paul was really an upstanding guy, an upstanding Christian through and through. BUT even Paul knew he wasn’t good. In one letter, he wrote (just like you):

    Romans 7:15 New Living Translation
    I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.

    When it comes right down to it…we just need help. We need help with the smallest things, like biting our tongue instead of spitting out mean words… and we need help with the biggest things, like understanding our purpose on this planet and the reason we are still alive (even if we don’t feel like we want to be!!!). We need SOMEONE great to come and teach us, show us, lead us, help us see, help us understand, help us change, help us accept what we cannot change. We really need LOVE too, unconditional love that is not based on anything we do but just because of who God made us to be. Do you think you can turn to Jesus as your help, your lifeline, your saviour in the midst of your misery?

    We have mentors who would love to just be there for you. You can write to them anytime, just share your thoughts, write out all your frustrations and disappointments, someone who will support you. Click on the link to get connected http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/

    God is not the cause of our sorry or misery, but nor will He just whisk us away into a fairytale. We are here in this world, we are in the midst of other humans with equally selfish hearts, and things are broken — the misery is not going to vanish overnight and life is not suddenly going to transform. What will happen is that by faith we will know God is with us, no matter what, whether life sucks or is full of sunshine, He is real and present and participating…. and then we can start to participate in what He is doing. He is reaching out, wanting people to know He’s there, wanting people to know His love… and He’s doing it through broken, ungood people like me. That’s a miracle!

    Sincerely with warmth,
    Kate

  • TSISD says:

    I feel like I’m living for other people’s benefit. Like I’m here to make other people happy. But the thing is, I can’t make them happy. My mother Prayed to have a little girl, and I feel like I don’t fit the image she had in her head of her ‘ little girl’. I feel like a mistake or a burden or something, and I feel like I should try to make my mom and everyone happy but I can’t. I’m selfish. I’m cruel. I’m not a good person. But I feel deep down in me, that I really really want to be good. I want to make everyone happy, I want everyone around me to be happy. The want to do good in me is so strong. But I’m not good for anything but feeling pain. I live to please other people and when no one is looking curl into a ball in my bed and cry. I feel meaningless. I am worthless. I just want the pain to go away. I just want to die. Is that so horrible? I hope that there’s nothing after this life. I just want nothing. Not pain nor happiness. . . Just nothing. But also, I know I would never be able to kill, even myself. I’m stuck here on earth until I die of natural causes. I’m even counting down the days like a child will for their next birthday. I can’t wait for this misery to end.

  • Alfred Alfred says:

    Hi Kennyk of Nepa, I have been reading the Bible for years, and always felt that after death there is no way to ask for forgiveness. Jesus meets out the punishment. Then the judgement has been set for all eternity! I am at present studying eschatology, and will continue look into the different types of punishment that will take place.
    I do not believe we should preach “FIRE INSURANCE” which is meant to keep people out of hell, but rather, by our life and our words we need to attract people to Jesus. LOVE goes a long way and God is love.

  • kennyk of nepa says:

    It is a normal question. Suicide, or ending your mortal life comes in many different ways. Smoking, eating certain things, driving wreckless, rushing into battle, suicide is not unforgiveable but you just should have a good reason to give. Many people commit suicide in their own way and it is not noted due to fualty logic. Suicide is not the sin that is the only sin that put a person =in danger of spending some time in the dungeons of hell=, not the lake of fire. Hell and the lake of fire are two seperate places/particulars. Both are eternal in that they pertain to day and night. But both will be done away with when etennity passes into infinity. People need to learn the scriptures and the entire existence/syntax of biblical apologetics before they start casting boulders! A saint is anyone who refuses to condemn anyone or entity to the lake of fire, due to the fact they will go also if they render such a verdict on that day! Read the whole book, just not parts, for good measure, reread it as many times as you can as basic instructions before leaving earth = bible.

  • Michael Jantzen Michael Jantzen says:

    Hello Brittany, I’m sorry to hear that mental illness has made your life so difficult for these past ten years. You mentioned that your mother is one of the only reasons you have to live. Could you tell me how your mother has helped you and what she means to you? You have done a brave thing in reaching out here. If you’d like to journey with someone confidentially, we have confidential and free online mentors. We could totally connect you with one. Just use this form if you’re interested: http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/ Take care, Brittany!

  • Brittany says:

    Hello, I have been suffering from bipolar, severe depression and anxiety since I was 13. It’s been ten years and I still feel so down and just want to disappear or maybe suicide. All I ever wanted was to be loved by someone and haven’t really even dated or anything. I think it has alot to do with not having a father figure in my life. A psychic once told me that when I was searching for answers. I have my moments where I feel content or ok but I always feel this way about hating life. The only reason why I’m living is because of my mom.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi GB, the loss of a loved one is a painful thing. You will not be able to keep your son from hurting. Keeping it a secret will only compound that pain because eventually he will find out the truth. It may be helpful for you to find a pastor or counselor that will help you talk through his dad’s suicide together. They can guide you to lead your son through the process of grief and the inevitable questions that will come up for him. Focus on the Family can help you find a Christian counselor in your area. Just go to http://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/articles/consider_counseling.aspx to see the tools they give.

    Lord God I pray for GB and ask that You would help her deal with the grief and pain of this loss. You know the great concern she has for her son. She needs Your guidance for how to help him deal with this loss. Help her to find godly counsel for herself and her son that will point them both to Jesus. Amen.

    GB, do you have a church you are connected with?

  • GB says:

    Dear dead man
    I hope you are ok and you realized if you were to die how much your family and wife would hurt. I pray for god to feel your heart with hope, love and the strength to get over this.

    God bless you

  • GB says:

    Also I am having a great deal of depression from this. Please pray for me and that he is safe in heaven, free from pain.

  • GB says:

    Not sure if you could help me. My son is 8..his father hung himself last month. His dad wasnt in his life much but lately he is asking about his dad. How do you tell a child that their father died without traumatizing him?

  • Shelley Shelley says:

    Dear Father God.

    Lord I lift up Darkfox to you at this time in there life, that You will heal them of the depression as they are seeking You for help. In Jesus Might name amen

  • DarkFox says:

    Truthseeker, I agree with everything you’ve stated. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and I wouldn’t want to live eternally either. I wish for peace every waking day, but life is never “sugar coated” for anyone. My only purpose in life is to live it to the fullest before passing away.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi TruthSeeker, I am so sorry that you have been hurt so badly in this life. You are right that I could never fully understand what it has been like to be you and to have experienced all the pain that you have had to live with. I can understand that you feel rejected by God because of all the hurt you have lived through and how it seems like He has those He plays favourites with.

    You are not alone in wishing that you had never been born. There are many similar cries recorded on the pages of the Bible. People who experienced great loss, those who were ostracized by everyone around them, those who were targets of the hatred from wicked people. As we read their stories what we find is that while they don’t always find relief from the external grief they find peace in relationship with God. Jeremiah was one of those who was the target of hatred. As a messenger of God he was constantly bombarded by acts of anger from the people who did not want to hear that their rebellion against God was alienating them from God. Jeremiah’s grief was magnified because he knew that God’s judgement was coming soon on the people of Israel and that it would bring great pain and loss for all. His words of grief are captured in ‘Jeremiah’ and ‘Lamentations’ in the Bible. Jeremiah never was relieved of his grief but his hope was still firmly placed in God. Here is what he says, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23) That is where Thomas Chisholm got the words for his famous hymn “Great is Thy Faithfulness”.

    I share that with you because I want you to know that God’s compassion, mercy and faithfulness are for you as well. Even when things seem hopeless He is there loving you, and working on your behalf. His faithfulness is not evidenced only in when things go well but also in the way He can help you deal with painful circumstances as well. Your fears of facing eternity with a deformed body are unfounded. The great hope of eternity is that there will be no more sorrow or pain. We will be free from all that brings grief and in its place will be the great joy of being face to face with our Lord and Creator; the one who has loved us and will always love us. He created us to be in perfect relationship with Him from the beginning but our sin and rebellion against Him has separated us from Him. But He has and will continue to pursue us in order to restore that which was lost in Eden and once again walk with us in perfect harmony. Not because we deserve it but because His love makes it possible.

  • Claire Colvin Claire Colvin says:

    Hi Truthseeker,

    I’ve taken your comment down but I did want to respond to what you wrote. You’ve misunderstood what eternal life is like. God does not say that He will give us eternal life in Heaven and everything will be exactly the way that it is here. He says exactly the opposite. In Heaven we all get new bodies, redeemed bodies, bodies without disease or brokenness, bodies that work in all the ways they are supposed to. In Heaven we are fully redeemed, no longer struggling with grief, or loneliness or the wounds other people inflicted on us. How could Heaven be Heaven if you were still treated the way you are treated now? The world we live in is broken, but Heaven is the promise of a completely new world.

    I don’t know what has happened in your life that you think that all Christians are rich and beautiful and surrounded by loved ones and “blind [them]selves with riches, glut on sex and food and friends”. I can promise you that is not the case. I do not know why some people have more resources than others. I cannot explain why I got to eat breakfast this morning and millions of other people in the world went hungry. (Maybe you ate breakfast too?) I don’t know why I got to go to school and girls in Nigeria get sold into slavery for going to school, or poisoned for going to school. I wish I had an answer to give you for that, I do not.

    When the Bible talks about God He says that He loves the whole world, not just the pretty ones. When you look at the life of Jesus he spent much of his time hanging out with people that were not fancy. He eats with prostitutes, and tax collectors (who were some of the most hated men of their time because they stole and caused the people so much hardship). Over and over you see people say to Jesus, “Why are you hanging out with that guy, don’t you know who he is?” and time and again Jesus sits down in the dirt to talk, he spends time with the outcasts. There’s the woman at the well who was shunned by her whole community because she had such a complicated past. Even she says to Jesus, “Don’t you know you’re not supposed to talk to me?” and He goes right ahead and talks to her anyway.

    I can promise you that Heaven is not living, “FOREVER IN A COLD LONELY PLACE WHERE THEY ARE HATED BY ALL PEOPLE”. That sounds a lot more like Hell to me.

  • Truthseeker says:

    [This comment has been removed.]

  • Shelley Shelley says:

    Dear Father God.

    Lord I lift up anyone who is going through this situation in there lives like suicide. I pray that you will encourage them and comfort them and heal them of this situation in there lives. In Jesus Mighty name amen

  • Mary Pinckney Mary Pinckney says:

    Kim,
    I would like to encourage your heart today with this verse of scripture.

    2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (MSG) 16-18 So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.

    As a believer I have learned that everything in life will not always be easy, but we do have a promise of Hope. We have a promise that God will never leave us nor forsake us. I encourage you to continue standing strong and see the salvation of God. If you would like to contact one of our mentors please feel free to do so: http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/

    Father, I pray for my sister. I ask that you will continue to strengthen her in her walk with you. I pray that you will reveal yourself to her in a greater way. Allow her to know your comfort and peace in Jesus name Amen.
    Blessings to you!
    Mary

  • Kim Britchford says:

    My faith has been truely tested this last 12 months and at times I believed I lost all hope, im stronger than I was an realise it was all part of my relationship with god, i had lost hope, i have social anxiety disorder and im doing my best to get on with it than let it beat me down,from today my moto is going to be, its not a challenge if your not out your comfort zone, I prey to god for strengh to do this mission. I hope you will be walking beside me amen

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Dead Man, I am so sorry that you have had such a difficult life. I am sure there is much more to the story than what you have had time to share here but I can tell it has been more than anyone should have to bear.

    I don’t have any easy answers to deal with the pain that you have had to live with for so long but I do know that taking your life is not the best answer. I can tell you love your wife and even though you are going to great lengths to make sure she is not the one who will find you, you must know that you will be devastating her by ending your life. I have dealt with the families of people who commit suicide and they go through extreme pain trying to understand and heal from that kind of a loss.

    Let me ask you to talk to a crisis mentor before you follow through with your plan. This is a link to a global directory for crisis hotlines and you will be able to find one near you. http://www.suicidepreventionhelp.com/directory/Crisis_Centers Please call and talk to someone there. They may be able to help you see things differently.

    I appreciate you indicating that you trust in Jesus. How did that happen for you? What role does Jesus play in your life today?

  • Dead man says:

    I’m here to say first I trust in Jesus but I have been carrying a big cross all of my life now. It started when I was 6 and for the past 41 years now I haven’t had one week go by where I haven’t had at least one migraine headache but most of the time I have 3-4 a week. I have been to many doctors and none can tell me anything more then I have migraines. I can’t live with the pain anymore. I am a mean uncaring person. I have a very cold heart and a very painful life. My wife of one year will be going to the Philippines soon and little does she know that will be the last time she will see me. That way I know she will not find me someone else will. After 47 painful years on earth I have nothing but her and nothing else. We are homeless and live in a semi truck. My so called family told me never to return there and they hope I die. I can’t take this crap anymore I give up. Life is not worth it. I can’t take another headache.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Alison, I am so sorry to hear about this loss for your community and for you and your daughter. It is a tragic thing for a anyone, let alone a young child, to feel that death is the best answer.

    To answer your daughter’s question, “Where will she go?” is to put one’s self in the position of God. We do not know what was going on in her young mind or heart, not how she responded to God’s voice in her life. So there really is no way of knowing for certain. However, there are things that we can be absolutely certain about: 1) God loves that young girl as a bearer of HIs image and He has been speaking to her throughout her whole life calling her to know Him. We have that certainty because in the Bible we read, “The Lord is not slow concerning his promise, as some regard slowness, but is being patient toward you, because he does not wish for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.” (2Peter 3:9) 2) We also know that God has no limits so there would have been nothing that could have stood in His way to communicate to that young girl all she needed to know about Himself. We can have confidence in this because in the Bible we read, “what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them.” (Romans 1:19)

    So let your confidence be in God; let your hope be in His Son Jesus who went to extreme lengths to extend the love of God to all of humanity. Know that God’s love was communicated to that young girl and that He spoke to her clearly about His love and His hope for her. Know that He will judge her perfectly knowing all of the circumstances of her life far beyond what anybody else is able to discern. And trust yourself into His care and respond yourself to His invitation to receive His love in your own life. Then you will become a beacon of hope for others who are hurting in this world and need to discover for themselves the love of God in Jesus Christ.

    If you would like to know more about how God has extended His love to you through Jesus have a look at this link http://powertochange.com/discover/faith/loveandgod .

  • Alison says:

    Hi. im new to this. I just wanted to say something about my daughters friend.

    My daughters friend died by standing in front on a train. It has left a huge hole in the hearts of many. From her family to all her friends and questions as to why or what would make her do it. You see, she was only 12 years old. My daughter has moved on, But she constantly ask’s me, Where will she go mum? i gave her an answer but i am not sure if it was the right one.

    Her death has sent a ripple effect throughout the entire community and even though half of them, including myself, didn’t know her, it still hurts and you just cant help but feel the same pain as her family would feel knowing that she was just child and a friend of my daughters.

    So i ask, if anyone has an answer for me to explain to my daughter, and myself, i would very much appreciate it.

    Thank you.

  • Michael Jantzen M. Jantzen says:

    Hi Kate,

    Concerning your first question, we have an article on that very topic: http://powertochange.com/experience/spiritual-growth/voice-of-god/ Feel free to read the rest from the link I gave you. It is written to a Christian audience but is still very relevant to anyone who has your question. But I have posted part of it Here:

    When Satan speaks into our thoughts he has only one purpose: to do harm. Whether through discouragement, temptation, frustration, depression or despair, his goal is always to divide us from God, to cripple our spiritual vitality, and prevent us from obeying and serving God.

    The voice of our enemy comes with messages like these:

    This situation is hopeless.
    You blew it last time and you’re sure to blow it again.
    You’re no good: too timid, too stupid, too shy, too ugly, too ____________.
    No one cares about you.
    You are all alone here.
    Give up.
    Run away.
    You’re a failure.
    It’s too late to fix it.
    Nothing you can do will help.
    God doesn’t care.
    God is mad at you.
    God will never help someone like you.
    Everyone else gets good things but not you.
    And on it goes. Satan is the destroyer, and he uses whatever messages he can to discourage and disorient us. When you feel defeated or hopeless, that’s a good sign that Satan is at work within your inner world. When it feels right to nurse your wounds and stay angry you can be sure that you are being lied to.

    The voice of God’s Holy Spirit is very different. Whereas the goal of the enemy is destruction, the goal of the Spirit is always edification. He speaks messages intended to lift you up, to encourage you, to bring strength, faith, joy, and peace.

    The messages of the Spirit are like these:

    You are never alone. I am with you.
    You are my beloved child. I died for you.
    You do not need to do anything to please me. I love you already.
    Trust in me. I will give you strength.
    Believe in me, I want to lead you.
    You are mine forever.
    There is no sin so serious that I have not forgiven you.
    Be joyful, thankful, and have faith.
    All things will work for your good.
    My plans for you are good.

    Kate, concerning your second question: “how can love drive out fear if love is your fear?” Obviously I’m not in your mind, but I might guess that the fear you have associated with love has resulted from the suffering your so called ‘loved ones’ gave you. God’s love is his intention and plan to bless your life. Sure, that involves a step of faith that can be scary, but God’s love itself is something very very good and altogether different that twisted and messed up human love. I know you have have amnesia, but can you still think of the most loving thing you’ve witnessed or received from another person in the last while. Multiply that by a billion and you have a closer image of what God’s love is like. Take care, I’ll try to check in here sometime over the weekend. I’m praying for you.

  • Kate says:

    My issue is not suffering. … it’s like me. I have no memory of the first 26 years of my life. I have retrograde amnesia. Many have told me that it’s what they would like. Reality is peoples would like to forget the bad but keep the good.

  • Kate says:

    Dedra you have not offended me at all, it’s like you have reminded me to do what I was meant to be doing.

    Looking up … I’m just trying to figure out what the best way forward is. This is not the first time that I have been reminded of how much god doesn’t help. It’s like, every time I get closer to thinking about god your way the earth sends a reminder. Does that make sense to you?

    Jantzen, I have a question, the devil, he wants to confuse people and pull them away from God … how do you know that you are following the right one?
    And …. how can love drive out fear if love is your fear?

  • lookingup lookingup says:

    Kate, I don’t see how lowering your walls to God is in anyway a bad thing.

    I know the both of you have issues about the question of God and suffering. This reminds me of a story Ravi Z. told of a couple who had a young daughter who was born with a very rare condition. She feels no pain. She told Ravi what a nightmare it is to live with this condition. She had to be constantly checked for injuries because she would never know they happened. She could put her hand on he stove and watch her hand fry with no pain.

    She told Ravi that for years she has prayed that God would let her feel pain. While the rest of us pray that God will take it away. Could there be a higher purpose that we just have a hard time getting our head around?

  • Michael Jantzen M. Jantzen says:

    Hi Kate.

    Is there anything you’d like to ask or talk about? I’ll be on here for another hour.

    When I thought of you and how much you’ve been talking about fear plaguing you, it made me think of this verse:

    “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18)

    What do yo think it would take for you to take the risk to give yourself to God so his love can free you from fear? Hope to hear from you soon.

  • lookingup lookingup says:

    How can you be so sure Kate? If you are willing to form your whole life’s direction on this question is it not worth some investigation? Are you willing to just take a persons word for it, or is this question big enough that it’s worth a little bit of time finding out what the arguments are? Then why not watch a couple videos?

  • Dedra says:

    Kate, I hope I haven’t offended you. If so I’m sorry. It’s just that so much has happened and I feel cornered.

  • Kate says:

    Dedra, It makes more sense then not that an all powerful god is either not powerful therfore not truthful or that he is enjoying / causing it. Maybe you have joined this conversation at such a point where I was beginning to lower my walls as a way of showing me or reminding me. .

  • lookingup lookingup says:

    To say that if there is suffering in the world there can’t be a God who cares, that just isn’t logical. Ravi Zacharias has a short video (about 4 min) on this question

  • Dedra says:

    I feel that way too Kate. I’ve prayed so many times for God to end my social anxiety and it’s painful to realize that nothing has been done. I’ve been patient yet nothing has been done. For 18 years I’ve been diagnosed with social anxiety and 6 years with paranoia/depression. Sometimes I’m lead to think that he’s the cause of our suffering and sickness, whether it be physical or mental.

  • Kate says:

    Looking up, I have nightmares almost every night. I have had nightmares about god recently. What he does what he will do.
    I can’t even think about it = makes me sick.

  • Kate says:

    Dedra, that’s what I fear. That god is just that one who has people running around following the Bibles and actually being up ‘there’ watching these people and not helping … not listening … just not caring … if not causing it.

  • lookingup lookingup says:

    I understand fear and confusion Kate. That is why I am so happy to know that God is not a God of fear or confusion. In fact, God says in his word “fear not” 365 times, once for every day of the year. God knows your fear, He is waiting with open arms to have you come home.

    God is also not a God of nightmares. He does wish for us to be tormented, that is what the enemy does. Will God listen? Kate, we can’t control God, what He does is His will, but I do wish to pray for you now.

    Lord God, I know that You love Kate and that You brought her here for a reason. Lord, one is so that she can live without so much fear, without so much confusion and without these nightmares, Lord I pray that tonight You would give Kate a good nights rest, that she could sleep without interruption and fear. I pray in Jesus name amen

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