What happens to the soul after suicide?
What happens to one’s soul/spirit after suicide?I recently had a close friend commit suicide and I am so worried that she will still not be at peace with herself. She had an anxiety disorder due to a troubled childhood and although she loved life, her friends, and her family, she just could not be independent as she could not relax.
We struggled together with this for so long. She was a creative and loving individual who had traveled much and lived away from us for a few years, so she had known independence. She feared for her sanity – she explained to me that she wanted to die because she actually did love herself and the constant thoughts going through her head would eventually turn into madness. I dearly love her and couldn’t bear to think that she will eternally go through this struggle. I am searching within myself to find meaning in my loss.
Advice: It’s obvious that you were and are a very close and loving friend. You have suffered with your friend right up to the end and beyond. You cared about her welfare, her emotional and spiritual state. But, now this tragedy has occurred and no matter what you or anyone tried to do – she has passed into eternity.
First of all, I want to tell you that your friend’s suicide and death was not anyone’s fault. Her suicide was the result of her choice and her psychological instability. Don’t let false guilt and self-blame take over. You and others tried to help. But, this woman is the one who made the choice despite all your pleadings and intervention.
Secondly, you need to grieve your friend’s death. You will go through several stages of loss: shock and denial, protest and dealing with the reality of her death, anger, confusion, depression and finally, reorganization. It’s normal to grieve. It’s important to care for yourself. You may need counseling. Go to your pastor for prayer and support. Read your Bible, especially the Psalms and the gospel of John. Jesus talks about God’s love for you and for the world, His plan to give you eternal life (John 3:16) and abundant life (John 10:10). Scripture will bring you comfort and hope for the future – hope for eternity.
The Bible does have stories about people who committed suicide but, it doesn’t talk about where their souls went – to heaven or to hell. But, Jesus promised: “I am the resurrection and the life – he who believes in me though he may die – yet shall he live.” John 11:25 If your friend trusted in Christ as her Lord and Savior – she is in heaven today. How do I know? Because Jesus said “I am the way, the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father but by me.” John 14:6
Jesus claimed to be God, to speak the truth and the words of God. He died on the cross for the sins of the whole world and then, rose from the dead on the their day. Over 500 witnesses saw the resurrected Christ!
Because of these facts – you can have great hope for the future! You can trust that Christ loved your friend greatly and will judge her justly.
Suicide is a devastating experience to those who loved its victim. Suicide happens because the person is so depressed and has not received the appropriate treatment – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
But, suicide, though a sin, can be forgiven – at the foot of the cross where all sin is wiped away when one believes in the Savior who sacrificed Himself to redeem the world.
You will never feel comfortable with what happened. A life was lost. But, you can trust that God can bring good out of this circumstance. God can become more personal to you in this time of suffering. God can give you courage and make you a person of character with strong values. God can demonstrate His love and comfort to you during your pain. God can give you more wisdom to help others who have suffered.
This world is a broken place – a place that is not our home. We are just passing through. Your friend could not stand the emotional and mental turmoil she experienced. But, you can. You and God can go on.
She ended her stay on earth and God allowed her to do it. He did not cause her to do it because He is not the author of evil. He does allow people to make choices which are against His will. But, you can find hope and courage to discover God’s will for your earthly life. You can leave a legacy that will give others hope for tomorrow and for eternity.
If you find you are depressed and anxious because of this – see a counselor.
You can find a counselor. God bless you as you discover what He has in store for you even in the midst of this loss.
Take a look at your life. How would you describe it? Contented? Rushed? Exciting? Stressful? Moving forward? Holding back? For many of us it’s all of the above at times. There are things we dream of doing one day, there are things we wish we could forget. In the Bible, it says that Jesus came to make all things new.
If you are looking for peace, there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.
You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:
Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.
Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.
Is this the life for you?
If you invited Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.
Read more about faith
Read more about depression, anxiety, fear, suicide and spiritual questions
Read about grieving
Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
© copyright 2003 Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
Hi,
My bf’s exgf killed herself 4 mos ago.
And now he wanted to kill himself too,
coz he feels so guilty about us and he thinks that the girl is calling her.
And now he wants to be with her.
What do you think is the best thing to do?
Refer your boyfriend to a Christian counselor asap! See the directory at: http://www.aacc.net This is very serious. It’s actually life-threatening! I suggest you talk with his parents/family. Ask him to go with you to talk with them. They need to become part of his support group. If he has a plan – take him to the emergency room. He can also see his family doctor for an evaluation. Don’t hesitate to get help for him.
Hi Lynette,
thank you for your advise.
that is my problem.
he is in Thailand and his family is back in the UK. And he doesn’t believe God. I am the one who keeps on praying for him. I am also in another country, I can’t look after him. He’s living in the same house. And I know that, as long as he lives there, he will never ever cope up. But he said he is not ready yet to give up that house. I am really so worried.
I want to die. But I don’t want to break my parents hearts. I believe in god and am concerned about what will happen to my soul after death. I am currently 48 and in a loveless marriage. My wife wants to divorce me. I feel worthless and unloved. I am a diabetic and I fear the life ahead of me. I am unable to work and do not know how I am going to be able to survive alone with no income. I have been trying for almost 5 years to get disability benefits but have been turned down despite my doctors support. I do not want to live in a homeless shelter or do something that would put me in prison. Death by suicide seems to be the obvious choice.
Dear Steve, it is my prayer that you will not try to harm or kill yourself. There are many reasons that we should not and do not have the authority to take our own lives (including the lives of others). First and foremost, God is author of life and death. He does not want you to kill yourself. He has a plan for your life even though the future right now seems bleak to you.
It is typical to feel depressed when you have a chronic illness and are going through other stressors such as a possible divorce. The very first step to getting out of depression is committing yourself and your life to Christ. I don’t know if you are a Christian. If you are not certain about your salvation (and it seems you aren’t) – then, read this article about How to Know God Personally.
The only way you can be certain about eternity and your salvation is by asking Jesus Christ to become Lord and Savior of your life. “Jesus said, I am the way, the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father, but, by Me.” John 14:6 When you discover a relationship with Jesus – your attitude about life will change. You will be more hopeful and have the power to move forward despite the pain in your life. Jesus said many profound statements about Himself:
I have come to give you life and to give it more abundantly.
I am the bread of life. I am the resurrection and the life.
I have been sent by the Father.
I have the power to overcome death.
I will give you a comforter – the Holy Spirit – to be with you forever.
Peace I leave with you .. my peace I give to you- Not as the world gives – give I unto you.
In my Father’s house there are many mansions. I go there to prepare a place for you…
My guess is that you are not a Christian. If you were – you would desire God’s will for your life. You would desire to keep His commands and to live out your life the best way possible. You would attend a church (Bible-believing) and be getting support and prayer from other Christians. YOu would see these troubles in your life as trials that God can bring you through and strengthen you in the midst of them.
So, my challenge to you is to run to the cross of Christ. Confess your sins . Surrender your life to the only One who can help you make sense out of the trials you are going through. Confess that your life belongs to God to do with whatever He wills.
Make a plan to move forward. You can’t control what your wife decides to do. But, you can start by heading in the right direction toward Jesus Christ who loved you and gave Himself as a sacrifice for your sins. You can pray to receive Him now, confessing your sins (yes, the sin of thinking about murdering yourself too), asking Him to come in and change your life. Then, start reading your Bible (I could send you one along with Anchor for the Soul by Pastor Ray Pritchard). Start going to an evangelical church. Reach out in new ways to people in your life now – family and friends. Pray like never before and ask God to move the mountain of fear in your life. Take care of your health. Call this hotline: SuicideHotlines.com at: 1.800.SUICIDE (784-2433)
Will you do this? Will you start over? Death – killing yourself – is NOT the ANSWER! It will resolve nothing in your life and will bring much pain to those who love you – life your parents. Please let me know that you will try some of these steps and that you will not harm yourself. I do pray you will choose life now. Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
Thank you Lynette for your wise and compassionate advice.
Steve, I have forwarded your comment to our pool of online mentors. Someone will be replying to you via email shortly. I hope you don’t mind. If you don’t wish to talk with them, you don’t need to reply, but I strongly encourage you to do so.
Lynette, Thank you for your concern. I am catholic although I do not regularly go to church. Last night I began to pray to god to please take my life. Weather by heart attack or stroke or any other natural means. I do not care. I just want it to end. I fear what will happen to my soul if I commit suicide so I would prefer death by god’s or someone else’s hands. But their is no question that I do welcome death. I have been with my wife for 15 years and still love her very much. I have been living the American dream for all that time. A beautiful wife,Two step children, a nice house in suburbia, a couple of pets, I am in shock that it is now coming to an end. I feel sick to my stomach and am deeply depressed. I have to go for now. Thanks again. Steve
Steve, I would highly recommend attending a Divorce Care support group. You can find one in your area (usually held at a church) at http://www.divorcecare.com Please give it a try. Please talk with a counselor or your doctor about your depression. There is hope. God can bring you through this and make you stronger. I have seen many people rebuild their lives during and after a divorce. In fact, you will find many resources on http://www.powertochange.com about divorce and how to work through it. I know that nothing can take away the pain and feelings of impending loss. But, I do know that God can draw near to you through Christ and you will discover hope, comfort and strength. Let us know how you are doing. And take advantage of the mentoring program found on this site. God bless you.. Lynette Hoy
Hey,
This is really difficult for me. My ex was killed in a car crash 4 months ago. I still love her,i loved her from the moment i saw her.We broke up a couple of weeks before her accident,but not because we didn’t love each other but because of my home situation. I miss her so much. The only thing in my mind is that i want to be with her.I want to kill myself just to be with her.I believe in God, I believe in Jesus and i pray a lot. She too believed in God. I know in my heart that Jesus wil forgive me and wil reunite us again. The only problem is my family and friends,they will be broken.I dont want to hurt them But I am hurting right now,and the only thing i want is to stop this pain. I know they will be ok after a while,but its just hard to think of the pain you will cause them. But God knows, i am trying to hold on. Its just not working, i want her back
Twiggy, you have my deepest sympathies, I can’t imagine what you are going through. I am not the right person to offer advice, but I have forwarded your comment to an email mentor who will contact you soon. You’re of course not obligated to reply but I really hope that your interaction with them will help you work through this and will bring you comfort.
hi,
my boyfriend commited suicide six months ago. I had moved on already but im not totally okay. Its still hard to forget him cause i love him so much and the pain that he coast me was so devastating like im turned into peaces every day of my life never know when it will end. Im doing everything just to forget him, im searching for the answers why he do that act and it only makes me feel guilty. since i believe in God i never stop realizing and seeking the knowledge from God so i could be more stronger.
But there where come a times when i feel guilty , despair, and confusion get inside my mind.
I feel guilt cause we have a huge argument and i tell him some hurtful words before he took his own life. despair/disappointed cause i try to save his soul not to commit suicide but i never did, cause he don’t believe in God and i wanted him to know Jesus as his savior. Now im confused, Hes a loving person i know he have a good heart yet he don’t believe in God and he commit suicide. but i had once made him to said the phrase “Jesus i accept you as my savior”, i don’t care weather hes sincere or not but that moment really makes me happy when He said that words. Now all i do is pray that God will save and forgive his soul so that eventually well see again…
your prayer touches my soul and made me tears. thank you!
I sometimes feel like I want to commit suicide. I feel like at times I don’t have any friends and nobody understands how I feel, I just feel like I am worthless. I don’t go out and do anything fun. I’m too scared to… I mostly stay home and I always think about suicide.
Dear Ashley, please, please get help! You are severely depressed and need to get counseling and possibly medication to help lift this depression. You can be helped. You can work through this with a professional counselor. You also need to tell someone close to you so they can provide support and encouragement. See the directory of counselors at http://www.aacc.net for a counselor in your area. Also, you can go to your family doctor and get help. You need to be honest and explore what is causing these suicidal thoughts. You can also call/visit: http://www.SuicideHotlines.com at: 1.800.SUICIDE (784-2433). Don’t hesitate. Get help now. God does not want you to harm yourself. He has a plan for your life and loves you. Find out more about growing in your faith at http://www.powertochange.com and http://www.counselcareconnection.org/categories/Faith-101/
There are mentors on this site who can help you also. But, you need professional help. Please let us know how you are doing. We are praying for you.
Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
Hi,
I do not know where i should start and how i can bring my feeling in words. I am married since four years and was the happiest person in the world. Before i went through such hard times in life and finally i say to myself , now i am happy. Lately comes some changes in my husband and he do not care and hurt me sooooooooo mmmmmmaaaaaany time. I lately beg him not to break things as we can work things good. I pray everyday and i talk to jesus everyday. I sometime take the wrong thought to suicide myself and no more pain. I just hope miracle will come to my life and the love of my husband will be back.
Dear Friend, you need to get help for domestic abuse. Read the articles here: http://www.counselcareconnection.org/categories/Domestic-Violence-/
There is no excuse for abuse. You need to get to a safe place. Abuse escalates and your husband’s behavior is threatening your safety. Get help by calling the National Domestic Violence http://www.ndvh.org hotline at: 1-800-799-7233 or outside the USA here: http://www.whatsgoodaboutanger.com/domesticinter.asp
I was doing some research because I believe at this time in my life suicide is the best option for me. I have fear of the pain and if my soul will stayed in the immediate area of death.
I lost my job a few months ago and is struggling money wise to make ends meet. I have a part time job where I’m stuck even though I made positive efforts to move forward by transfering to another location. It seems like my intentons are honest, loyal and from love. But what I meet is people who dont appreciate me or have the capacity to care.
It seems like the ones getting ahead are the ones who sold their souls or succeed in throwing you under the bus.
I had a loving relationship but due to the economy he lost his job and now he is going through his own depression but not admitting to it. It causing stress and it’s causing us to fight alot. I hoping we dont break up cause I cant handle another setback right now. Im weak dealing with the ones on my plate. Im tired of suffering. I’m compassionate by nature, not competitive. But it’s a competitive world out here and I dont fit in.Im making a plan to tie all loose ends and go forward with this. I dont want my family and friends to suffer but Im suffering and Im no help to them right now.
Dear Lulu, you making plans to end your life and it doesn’t sound like you want to consider the option to live and work through the problems you are experiencing. I want to ask you to consider doing something other than planning to end your life. You may have tried counseling or talking to someone to no avail. I’m asking you to try taking some steps again. Steps which will help you move in another direction, away from the self-destructive thoughts which have plagued you.
First of all, you need to understand why you are depressed. Besides the problems and struggles facing you – you are also struggling with a physical deficiency of chemicals in your nervous system. This may be a major reason for the depression you feel. Many people who are depressed don’t know that depression is also by a lack of neurotransmitters called catecholemines, serotonin and endorphins. These are the chemicals which help people concentrate, improve mood and increase energy. Medication can help increase these neurochemicals along with natural methods such as exercise and taking time to grow spiritually. You still need to work through other issues – relationship disappointments, job and financial struggles. Those issues need to be dealt with and processed.
First Step: Have you been going to counseling and been treated for depression? If not, go immediately to your family doctor or a psychiatrist or to the nearest emergency room for help.
Please contact AACC at http://www.aacc.net or http://www.nbcc.org for a referral to a mental health professional. Please do this immediately! Also, contact http://www.SuicideHotlines.com at: 1.800.SUICIDE (784-2433) or the
Canadian crisis hotlines.
Understanding Depression and Challenging Your Emotions: Your feelings and your depression cannot be trusted. Feelings are not objective truth. Feelings are indicators of subjective thinking and you need to explore the thoughts you have been dwelling on that have led you to contemplate suicide. Thinking about killing yourself is believing lies about life and about the future. Many people in the past have struggled with depression but, they didn’t cave into or trust the feelings. They had the courage to go on, the courage to believe that their future and that their life could be different.
You need to realize that there is a God in heaven who does not want you to harm yourself. You need to be reconciled to Him through Jesus Christ. I am most concerned that you are not a Christian because without Christ – you will not be accepted into heaven. If you become a Christian you will gain a new perspective on your life and a new hope for living. You will know you are forgiven and going to heaven and you will not want to end the life God gave you to live for Him. Please reconsider this decision to end your life. please consider God’s plan for your life: http://www.counselcareconnection.org/articles/97/1/How-to-Know-God-Personally/Page1.html and how you can know Him personally and make a new start. This is my prayer for you… Please let us know how you are doing. Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
Lulu, Give God a chance to help you and make a difference in your life. Jesus said, “I am come that you might have life and have it more abundantly.” John 10:10 and John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Don’t you want this assurance and hope in your life?
This is my prayer for you…”Lord Jesus, overcome Satan lies in Lulu’s life. Help her to put her faith and trust in you. Help her to believe that you died for her sins and rose again from the dead. That you are the Savior of the world to all who believe in you. Help her to believe that You can wipe away all her sins. Make her a Christian today and give her power to live the life you have given her. Take away the thoughts of suicide and replace those thoughts with love for you and a desire to live for you. In Your name we ask this, Amen.”
Please let us know how you are doing. Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
Hi, I’ve been feeling suicidal for awhile now. I’ve been thinking about suicide, because i’ve been really sick for about 3 months. I’ve been dizzy, vomiting, really bad headaches, and I lost about 20lbs, because I haven’t been able to eat much in the last 3 months. I’ve seen the doctors numerous times, but they can’t figure out whats getting me sick, and its starting to feel like i’ll never be better. I got accepted for college, but I can’t do that now. Suicide, its been on my mind for awhile now. Hopefully i’m strong enough to get through this, because I don’t want to hurt my family, and my girlfriend (who is pregnant with my first child). I just had to tell someone about my situation. I’ll keep praying, and I’ll pray for everyone. God bless, and I hope we all get the strength to get through our problems.
Dear Jarred, I am so sad to hear about your situation but, I am even more distressed that you think suicide is the answer. Please do not try to harm yourself. First of all, this is not God’s will for your life. It is against one of His commandments “do not kill”. That means He is the author of your life and is the only One having the right to provide life to you and to take you from this life when He determines to.
You must continue to see doctors. You may have food allergies or a hormonal imbalance. You need to get the tests that are necessary to discover what is wrong also.
You need to surrender this the Lord and and be strong to do whatever is necessary to get the right treatment. The Lord does not want you to commit suicide or harm yourself. Give God a chance to help you and make a difference in your life. Jesus said, “I am come that you might have life and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)
John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Don’t you want this assurance and hope in your life?
This is my prayer for you: “Dear Lord Jesus, you know how terrible and hopeless Jarred feels. You know his physical condition has deteriorated and he is suffering. It is my prayer that you will take away the thoughts he has to commit suicide. I pray that you will comfort him and give him strength to go to the right doctor and get the treatment he needs to recover from this condition. I pray that he will have faith to trust you – Jesus – as his Lord and Savior. May he ask You to come into his life and forgive him of his sins and take over his life. We pray together that you will heal him of this disease/condition. But, most of all, I pray that you will give him courage to go on and do what is right – to live and continue to get help for his problem. I pray that you will give him hope, comfort and a new purpose for living. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
The other step to consider is to ask a pastor to pray for you. You need to start going to a Christian church and get support and spiritual guidance and prayer. There are people who have been healed confession, turning their lives over to Jesus Christ and through prayer.
It is my prayer that you will not leave a legacy of committing suicide for your family and your baby. I have known other people who were very sick and it took a number of months to find out what the problem was. One very sick friend did find out after months what the problem was after going to the right doctor and she recovered. Please let us know how you are doing and please do not take your life. God bless you, friend. Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
Thanks for the response , and the prayer. I went to the doctor and he thinks he knows whats wrong, i’m just waiting for the results, but the doctor is sure he knows what it is. I’m still sick, but i’m happy he might have figured it out, and they’ll be able to give me the medication I need to feel better. I’m no longer thinking about suicide. Your response really gave me hope to continue living, and your prayer for me worked. Thanks again, and God bless you.
Hi,
My dad took his life when I was 6 years old…my younger sister took her life 5 years ago…and I have tried to take my life five times already BUT God has kept me alive through all of them for some “good” reason…I still battle with these deadly thoughts YET have not acted on them like before…last July I nearly took my life and on the day i was going to do it for hopefully the last time…i ended up having a heart attack! My husband rushed me the hospital and we as well as all the doctors tending to me were dumbfounded that a women of my age (44 years old) and in pretty decent shape would be having a heart attack….right away I knew within my soul that GOD’S hand was in the middle of this all….simply telling me “I am not done with you YET and when your time comes I will take you home to be with me….Satan still tries his darndest to get me to bow down to those dreadful thoughts BUT i don’t want to for I am just bearly hanging on again in the HOPES that the pain and sufferring my body is under at this time will cease and I will be well and whole to minister unto other broken hearted WOMEN! I am stepping out in faith this FRIDAY to serve at my church office and I know each time i try to step forward these dreadful thoughts ambush me…please pray that all will go well and that I will be able to fullfill GOD’S purpose for my life….I know within my heart I am to be an encuorager…a ray of HOPE to Women that are broken hearted and filled with oppression…God I don’t want to battle with thses thoughts anymore PLEASE release me from them in Jesus name I pray…not my will FATHER God but your will be done!
my gilfriend died 3 months ago and now i have nothing left.all i wantis to see her again but i know inever will andi dont think i can go on without her. see was my hole life when i was with her i had peace now ive given up and cant go on. ive never been a beliiver and losing my girlfiend hasnt changed that but ive had enough of this world without her its not worth it
Dear Tom, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I’m sure this is devastating. I truly believe that your girlfriend would not want you end your life though. I believe she would want you to go on and to find purpose in your life. I wish I could talk you into believing but, I can’t. Faith in God has given me hope and peace in every difficulty I have faced in my 60 plus years.
At the very least, I would give you a challenge – to find out if there is a God in the person of Jesus Christ and if His claims and life of miracles are true. Would you consider this: read the gospel of John in the New Testament and ask God to reveal Himself to you. I know of people who have discovered faith and a relationship with Christ by investigating His life. Read more about the evidence and claims of Jesus at: http://www.jesus.org
Wouldn’t it be a tragedy to your family and friends to add to the grief of your girlfriend’s death by killing yourself? Wouldn’t it be a tragedy to find out after you die that you missed out on knowing God, His forgiveness and His plan for your life? Why not give it a try?
It’s normal to feel grief and normal to feel despair after someone you love dies. But, it’s not normal to want to end your life. You are stuck in depression and need help. Consider going to counseling: http://www.nbcc.org or to your family doctor to talk about your depression and what can be done for it. Consider finding help in a grief recovery group. Read articles about grief and loss at: http://www.counselcareconnection.org It is my prayer that you will not harm yourself and that you will give God a chance to reveal Himself to you and show you the plan He has for your life.
God bless you, Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
Tom,
It sounds like you are in a very low place right now, my heart grieves for you. If you need to talk to someone I recommend you talk to one of our free and confidential mentors. They will walk you through this valley. Please let me know if you would like a mentor and I will set you with one.
hi..
I love a guy who says he we cant be together because of commitments to himself and his family. I am not able to move out of his life. I feel like nobody else can take up his place. Once i tried committing suscide. Whenever i ask him whether he loves me he says he dont want to talk about all this stuff. He does not answers me. Whenever i try to move ahead, i become more and more possessive for him and end up with thoughts like committing susicde. I cant stop myself and i feel like the only way by which everybody(my family, He, my frnz) can get rid of me is if i commit suscide. I dont know what to do. Right now m living with my sleeping pills. Chemist said he cant provide me more.
Please suggest sumthing.
Vandana,
I am so sorry that you are going through this dark place right now. Suicide is not the answer and my prayer is for you to get help right away. Talk to someone about your feelings, your mom, your dad or a friend. If you don’t want to talk to them we can connect you with an online mentor, that will walk with you through this time. It’s free and confidential. If you want a mentor, just reply back on the blog letting me know you would like to get connected and I will set you up with a mentor right away.
yeah! i think i need i a mentor. i cant discuss this with my friends anymore. i would be thankful if you can help me :(
Oh awesome Vandana!
I so happy that you are talking to someone, this is the first step in getting better! I have sent your email into our mentor system, you will hear from a mentor soon. The email will say “email from the mentorcenter” in the subject so keep your eye out for in your inbox.
Leah
Dear Vansana and Leah,
How great that the two of you are working through this situation together. Vandana please except the help from the mentor that will be aiding and encouraging you through this…I hooked up with a great mentor from this site a while back and she made a husge differance in my life…she got me on track again and when all was said and done…i couldn’t wait to report the GREAT NEWS to her. Also, this past week (Wednesday) i was very suicidal again and i reached out to my church via the internet requesting prayer….I knew I was in a bad place with those old familiar thoughts of death…and made it totaly clear to them i was struggling with thoughts of suicide within an hour i received a call from the church and I knew in my heart all was going to be well…my step of faith knowing that God listens to the prayers of others helped me overcome the temptation to check out of life…Sure enough, thursday i went for a job interview and ended up landing the job before i even left….how SATAN tries to lure us into the temptation to end our lives JUST when a break through is about to occur…had i tried to take my life on Wednesday, I wouldn’t had been available for the job interview and more importatnly I wouldn’t have been around to serve at my church office today and let those who cared about my situation “SEE” I was ok and that I made it through that scary, scary night..Hoping the best for you!
Hey… I lost my husband 3 months ago. He was only 25. I spent a month in the hospital by his bedside watching him get worst and worst. He kept sayin he loved me so much and to always remember that. He told his parents to take care of me. He knew he was dying. It was the most horrific time in my life. Everyday I want to end this life and go be with God and my husband in peace. But I know it would devastate my mom, and I believe that I will go to hell. If I didn’t think that I would go to hell I would’ve killed myself the day I lost my husband. I’m so sad and so depressed. He was the love of my life. I lost my soul mate. I’ve been praying and it helps but I just want this pain to end.
Dear Ann, my heart goes out to you. But, it is my hope and prayer that you will not commit suicide or harm yourself. This is not what your husband or family would want. It’s hard to go on without your husband and you need to grieve this painful loss of your companion and lover. You can request a mentor on this site to email and chat with but, you need to see a professional counselor and your family doctor because you are so depressed. I’m asking you to try taking some steps. Steps which will help you move in another direction, away from the self-destructive thoughts which have plagued you.
First of all, you need to understand that the grief and loss have caused a physical deficiency of chemicals in your nervous system. This may be a major reason for the depression you feel. Many people who are depressed don’t know that depression is also by a lack of neurotransmitters called catecholemines, serotonin and endorphins. These are the chemicals which help people concentrate, improve mood and increase energy. Medication (anti-depressants) can help increase these neurochemicals along with natural methods such as exercise and taking time to grow spiritually. You still need to work through the loss of your husband and consider attending a grief recovery group. This crisis and loss in your life needs to be dealt with, processed and grieved.
First Step: Have you been going to counseling and been treated for depression? If not, go immediately to your family doctor or a psychiatrist or to the nearest emergency room for help.
Please contact AACC – http://www.aacc.net or http://www.nbcc.org for a referral to a mental health professional. Please do this immediately! Also, contact SuicideHotlines.com at: 1.800.SUICIDE (784-2433) or the
Canadian crisis hotlines.
If you are presently in counseling, you need to contact your therapist and/or psychiatrist to tell them you need help for these suicidal thoughts and self-destructive plans. Ask a family member or friend to go with you.
Understanding Depression and Challenging Your Emotions: Your feelings and your depression cannot be trusted. Feelings are not objective truth. Feelings are indicators of subjective thinking and you need to explore the thoughts you have been dwelling on that have led you to contemplate suicide. Thinking about killing yourself is believing lies about life and about the future. Many people in the past have struggled with depression but, they didn’t cave into or trust the feelings. They had the courage to go on, the courage to believe that their future and that their life could be different.
Many people with suicidal thoughts did not follow their feelings. They rejected the despairing thoughts and moved forward. They were able to overcome hurdles and their emotions of defeat. You don’t need to be led astray by your negative feelings and thoughts either.
It’s time to challenge that thinking. Time to see your life from God’s perspective. You are a person of value. I implore you to give God a chance to give you hope as well. Turn to Christ who said: “I have come to give you life and give it more abundantly.” Why not find out what He can do?! I have witnessed how He has changed lives, lifted the downcast and brought hope to those who feel lost.
Don’t give up! Don’t be a quitter! Contract with me or someone close to you right now NOT to take your life.
Moving Beyond Hopelessness:
Usually people who are feeling depressed are not doing what would help them feel better. You need to fight the depression and move forward. Talk with someone about your feelings, about your life. Expressing your feelings to someone is very beneficial. Exploring with someone, especially a counselor, what underlies your feelings can help you begin to problem-solve.
Seeing your doctor for a physical exam and telling him or her about your depression can lead to further treatment for the physiological causes. You most likely need to take an anti-depressant. Regular exercise and proper diet is very helpful and can also increase the neuro-chemicals your body is missing.
Spending quality time with caring people, friends, God, members of your family and church will give you a sense of connection and help you regain meaning in your life.
Where to start: You have read this article. Will you now consider taking a step towards life? A step towards rebuilding your life? A step to reach out for help? Refuse to believe the lies you have been telling yourself. Lies that life is hopeless, you are worthless and you have no future.
I’m here to tell you that your life has a future and a hope. I have seen so many people get help and go on to enjoy a better life!
Please contact AACC for a referral to a mental health professional and the SuicideHotlines.com at: 1.800.SUICIDE (784-2433)
Canadian crisis hotlines Write out what will help you start over.
Here are some suggestions:
1. Professional counseling.
2. A physical exam and medication.
3. Prayer
4. Support from family and friends
5. Exercise
6. Guidance for finances. Contact Crown Financial Ministries for free financial counseling.
7. Working through grief or loss.
8. Reading a book such as The Freedom from Depression Workbook by Les Carter, Frank Minirth or The Search for Significance by Robert McGee or Learning to Tell Myself the Truth by William Backus or Keep Believing: God in the Midst of Our Deepest Struggles by Ray Pritchard.
9. Other: _________________ (fill in the blank)
I hope that I have been able to talk you out of harming yourself. Please contact someone for help at this site too. Call your pastor, counselor, a friend, your doctor. Take a step towards life and hope now.
I pray you will… God bless and strengthen you… Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC
ive been thinking about suicide recently because of certain things going on in my life…
but i read on many websites that if you commit suicide you burn in hell for eternity…is that true?
Lexi, I don’t know and won’t presume to say that I understand what sort of things have been going on in your life, but suicide is never a good option.
Regardless of what happens after a person dies, the fact that you are still here says that God still has a plan and purpose for your life. God created us, and so we know that He created us with a purpose. Each of God’s children (including you) are unique, important members of God’s family, and the fact you are still here means that God has given you life in order to live it!
Lexi please consider taking this interactive life lesson, and you will receive a personal and confidential reply by email from a mentor:
Suicide: Does life feel not worth living?
And I urge you to contact one of the suicide help resources listed above, or on this page. It may seem hopeless now, but with God nothing is impossible and there is always hope.
Dear Lexi, I pray that you will not take your life and that you will find help to get through the challenges you are going through at this time of your life. I don’t think that those who take their life end up burning in hell for eternity…only those who never beleive/accepted Christ into their hearts/lives will go to HELL. I think that those who trust in the LORD and end up taking their lives end up with a lessor postion in heaven when all is said and done. God has such good plans for each one of us and SATAN tries to derail us from allowing such to be accomplished.
I failed FIVE times at taking my life…each episode ended up being worse than the prior….nearly lost my kidneys during the last attempt had a kidney expert be at the hospital to see me through it…The best way I get through those dreadful thoughts when they haunt me is to bring them to the light….anything that we hide in darkness will get worse…so it would be wise to talk with someone as soon as possible about your suicidal thoughts. Just a few weeks ago I was almost ready to end my life BUT by the grace of God I sent an email to my church about the dreadful thoughts and such evil thoughts released from me as soon as I exposed it.
Hang in there child of God….the Lord knows your discomfort and He will move quickly in your life if you call upon HIM for help..this could be a pastor, a professional doctor or even a good mentor through this site.
ive debated blowing my head off with a.357 multiple times but the only thing keeping me from it is the thought of going to hell.
Dear Jim, Anyone who does not trust in Christ cannot enter heaven. The real solution for you (and any of us) lies in knowing Jesus Christ personally as Lord and Savior. When you realize and trust that He died to pay for your sins and rose from the dead to overcome sin and death – you will have new hope to live purposefully for Him. Consider turning your life over to Christ. In giving Him a chance to take charge of your life – you will know that you are going to heaven and have a new reason to live. Jesus said, “I have come to give you life and give it more abundantly.” John 10:10 He said, “Whoever believes in the Son (Christ) has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on him.” John 3:36
Jesus is also a Person who knows our needs, feels our pain, and sympathizes with our weaknesses. He offers to forgive our sins, and to give us the free gift of eternal life…making peace between us and His Father when we decide to trust Him as Lord and Savior of our lives. He loved us so much that He died for our sins 2,000 years ago.
The Bible says that we are sinners: Rom 3:23-24 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” (NIV) But that God has provided Jesus as the Savior: John 3:16 says: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (NIV)
Alternative religious views have saviors who remain in the grave. No other system offers everlasting life as a gift to those who follow their leaders. None of those leaders has overcome death. No other system offers assurance of forgiveness, eternal life, and adoption into the family of God. Jesus Christ offers you salvation because He died for your sins and rose from the dead. You can call on God and trust in His Son in the same way a drowning person calls for help and relies on the rescue of a lifeguard. Romans 10:9 says: “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved”.(NIV)
The salvation Christ offers does not depend on what we have done for Him, but on our acceptance in who He is and what He has done for us. Instead of moral and religious effort, this salvation requires a helpless admission of our sins. Instead of personal accomplishments, it requires confession of failure to meet God’s standard of holiness. Unlike all other belief systems, Christ asks us to trust solely in Him and His work on the cross and to commit our lives to Him–not to merit salvation but as an expression of gratitude, love, and confidence in the One who has saved us solely by grace (the unmerited favor of God). Eph 2:8-9 says: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith– and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast”.(NIV) Rom 6:23 says: “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”(NIV)
Won’t you consider asking Christ into your life today. Once you have received Jesus Christ personally, you will be saved. Then you can know for certain that you will go to heaven because you trusted in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior and His death on the cross to pay for your sins.
Prayer this prayer if you want to be certain you are going to heaven: Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner in need of forgiveness. I turn my life over to you because I believe that You died for my sins and You are the only way to heaven and to have peace with God. You are the only One who can save and forgive me. Please cleanse me of my sins, come into my life and change me today. In Jesus’ Name I ask this. Amen
I Jn 5:20 says: “We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true– even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.”
Trusting in Christ will change your view of life today and your hope for eternity and everlasting life. Trusting in Christ will give you new power for living today and a new purpose as the Holy Spirit enters your life and changes you from the inside out.
The question is not: “am I going to hell?” The question is: “What will you do with Jesus?” Will you trust Him for your salvation and life? Will you take Him at His word that He alone can save you from sin, hell and despair. It is my prayer that you will put your faith in Christ today for it is only in Jesus that we can know God and know we have eternal life. Please go to http://www.keepbelieving.com for more help and hope. God bless you, Lynette Hoy
Most of what I have read is a bunch of nonsense. First of all it is nobodies choice to off themselves. No one choose to be born into circumstances that would lead ones self to end his or her own life. To say that person chose to die is simply ignorant and the ignorance comes from the failure to understand. Secondly no one of this earth knows what happens to ones spirit or soul after suicide or even natural death. How is it not blasphemy for any human being to claim he or she knows what comes next ? Only the creator knows for sure. You are either spatting some nonsense your church brainwashed you with or your thoughts come from what makes you feel better about death. No human of this crazy confused planet knows a thing about what comes next period.
highwayman, you seem sure that no one could know “what comes next”; but isn’t it arrogance to claim that you know for sure that no one knows? How could you know that no one knows what comes after death?
You mention you believe in “the creator” … if this creator chose to communicate to us what happens after death, wouldn’t that give us knowledge of it? Isn’t it possible that this creator could tell us what will happen after death? This is one of the reasons that God came himself, and Jesus died and was resurrected, so that we could know fully what will occur after death, and likewise be raised with him. Something to think about anyways.
highwayman – I can see that you disagree with what has been posted here, but I cannot agree with your statements. Ms. Hoy has years of professional study to back up her claims. She is a licensed therapist. She knows what she is talking about. What direction have your studies taken?
I was intrigued by your claim that “it is nobodies choice to off themselves”. Suicide is an incredibly complicated issue, but when it comes to that moment of action, suicide is, by definition performed by our own hands. I can understand where you’re coming from – I do agree that there are circumstances where it would seem impossible for any rational human being to continue living. Some people life through horrific situations and are sometimes overwhelmed by them, but that moment of action is a choice. It may be that the person can see no alternative, but they do act. The reasons for that action are heart breaking and numerous and probably almost impossible for us to understand. If you’ve been the second victim of a suicide – the person left behind – it can be in unfathomable. But if someone forces your hand, it’s not suicide. Suicide is the ultimate loneliness, and often simply the very last action after years, even a lifetime of trying to find another way.
I know for myself, when I struggled with thoughts of suicide I felt trapped and alone and backed into a corner and abandoned. But if I had gone through with my plan, no one could have swallowed those pills for me, only I could have done it for myself. (I’m not making this up either, check the publishing date on my story.) I wish I could tell you why some people are born into a living nightmare, but that’s an answer I do not have.
I can see that you have some very strong feelings about the church. Clearly you do not believe that what happens after death is knowable, but billions of people around the world have found an answer they can believe in. For myself, I cannot agree with the idea that the souls of all who commit suicide end up in Hell. I do believe in Hell, but I also believe in the God of the Bible and I believe that what he says is true. There is a verse in the book of Romans (chapter 8, verse 38&39) which says:
‘For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
If angels and demons cannot separate us from the love of God, if death itself cannot separate us, how could suicide do what angels and demons cannot? I believe that what happens after death has a lot more to do with the state of your relationship with God than it does to do with the manner in which your life ends. What do you think happens when we die?
i have prayed searched and trusted with nothing to show all i want to do is die and quickly too nothing has gotten any better just worse