What happens to the soul after suicide?
What happens to one’s soul/spirit after suicide?I recently had a close friend commit suicide and I am so worried that she will still not be at peace with herself. She had an anxiety disorder due to a troubled childhood and although she loved life, her friends, and her family, she just could not be independent as she could not relax.
We struggled together with this for so long. She was a creative and loving individual who had traveled much and lived away from us for a few years, so she had known independence. She feared for her sanity – she explained to me that she wanted to die because she actually did love herself and the constant thoughts going through her head would eventually turn into madness. I dearly love her and couldn’t bear to think that she will eternally go through this struggle. I am searching within myself to find meaning in my loss.
Advice: It’s obvious that you were and are a very close and loving friend. You have suffered with your friend right up to the end and beyond. You cared about her welfare, her emotional and spiritual state. But, now this tragedy has occurred and no matter what you or anyone tried to do – she has passed into eternity.
First of all, I want to tell you that your friend’s suicide and death was not anyone’s fault. Her suicide was the result of her choice and her psychological instability. Don’t let false guilt and self-blame take over. You and others tried to help. But, this woman is the one who made the choice despite all your pleadings and intervention.
Secondly, you need to grieve your friend’s death. You will go through several stages of loss: shock and denial, protest and dealing with the reality of her death, anger, confusion, depression and finally, reorganization. It’s normal to grieve. It’s important to care for yourself. You may need counseling. Go to your pastor for prayer and support. Read your Bible, especially the Psalms and the gospel of John. Jesus talks about God’s love for you and for the world, His plan to give you eternal life (John 3:16) and abundant life (John 10:10). Scripture will bring you comfort and hope for the future – hope for eternity.
The Bible does have stories about people who committed suicide but, it doesn’t talk about where their souls went – to heaven or to hell. But, Jesus promised: “I am the resurrection and the life – he who believes in me though he may die – yet shall he live.” John 11:25 If your friend trusted in Christ as her Lord and Savior – she is in heaven today. How do I know? Because Jesus said “I am the way, the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father but by me.” John 14:6
Jesus claimed to be God, to speak the truth and the words of God. He died on the cross for the sins of the whole world and then, rose from the dead on the their day. Over 500 witnesses saw the resurrected Christ!
Because of these facts – you can have great hope for the future! You can trust that Christ loved your friend greatly and will judge her justly.
Suicide is a devastating experience to those who loved its victim. Suicide happens because the person is so depressed and has not received the appropriate treatment – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
But, suicide, though a sin, can be forgiven – at the foot of the cross where all sin is wiped away when one believes in the Savior who sacrificed Himself to redeem the world.
You will never feel comfortable with what happened. A life was lost. But, you can trust that God can bring good out of this circumstance. God can become more personal to you in this time of suffering. God can give you courage and make you a person of character with strong values. God can demonstrate His love and comfort to you during your pain. God can give you more wisdom to help others who have suffered.
This world is a broken place – a place that is not our home. We are just passing through. Your friend could not stand the emotional and mental turmoil she experienced. But, you can. You and God can go on.
She ended her stay on earth and God allowed her to do it. He did not cause her to do it because He is not the author of evil. He does allow people to make choices which are against His will. But, you can find hope and courage to discover God’s will for your earthly life. You can leave a legacy that will give others hope for tomorrow and for eternity.
If you find you are depressed and anxious because of this – see a counselor. You can find a counselor. God bless you as you discover what He has in store for you even in the midst of this loss.
Take a look at your life. How would you describe it? Contented? Rushed? Exciting? Stressful? Moving forward? Holding back? For many of us it’s all of the above at times. There are things we dream of doing one day, there are things we wish we could forget. In the Bible, it says that Jesus came to make all things new.
Living with hope
If you are looking for peace, there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.
You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:
Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.
Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.
Is this the life for you?
If you invited Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.
Read more about faith
Read more about depression, anxiety, and fear
Read about grieving
Read more about suicide
Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
© copyright 2003 Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
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Hi, I’m 18 years old and I’ve fought depression ever since I was a kid. I used to be cheerful outside, I try t coup up with life. Every since I was a child my mom would always tell me to try to ”understand” my brother. For many years he has been a pain and he never learns he doesn’t even care about other people. As I child I’ve always somehow tried to obey my parents, esp my mom..Because every time I don’t, things happen that’s why ever since then I’ve obeyed her truthfully. I’ve cried so many time banging my head and throwing things to regain ”control” over my whole being. But none of them seem to work, and every time I wreck things, my mom would get angry and blame me for being inconsiderate and selfish. I’ve struggled with the fact that I am no longer needed, I need not to exist for their sake but for myself. I always think that If I’ve never existed they might have had a much better life. I feel that they’re better off without me. I’ve always had a quite clean record when it comes to school, there were some complains in school of me crying but nothing serious. Nevertheless, I’ve tried to live life according to their liking, I didn’t do any martial arts because their again’ts it. I never confessed that I have a somewhat attraction to the same sex, because I know they will never understand and it’s useless it will only bring me troubles and limits to my life. They care more about my brother than me, for the fact that he is ”eolder” than I am. But they do not know the effects of their action that they are inflicting on me. For many years I’ve felt that no matter how hard I try, how many times I try to change things. It never will. For they have no concern over me. I told my mom once that I needed some clinical help but she didn’t believe me, because she think that, I am perfectly fine. I believe in GOD I do , but sometimes praying isn’t enough.Currently I am struggling, I’ve cried so many times a day, I’ve asked for answer I tried to self medicate my depression by smoking, exercising, and I even did a meditation. But somehow no matter how hard I try to ”fix” things, Nothing does . I’m thinking of committing suicide for I have no desire or passion ,they were all taken away from me. I don’t even know what to do anymore,I even lost the desire of lust . So I researched about what happens to your soul when you commit suicide. For I don’t have the answers…I’m confused, frustrated and depressed. What’s life other than suffering?
Hey That Guy, thank you for your service in the military on our behalf. I don’t know why you have had to suffer loneliness and discouragement now after giving so much during your service, but I know that it happens far too often.
I also am disappointed about your experience with God. Again, I don’t know why it happens but it happens far too often for me to be surprised. In the Bible we read a great description of what our relationship with God should be like. “When I think of the wisdom and scope of God’s plan, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will give you mighty inner strength through his Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope. May he be given glory in the church and in Christ Jesus forever and ever through endless ages. Amen.” (Ephesians 3:14-21) One of the first things we see is that God has a plan that is overwhelming in its perfect fit for our lives and in the scope of the detail. There isn’t one aspect that has been overlooked or poorly organized.
Secondly, God has unlimited resources to carry out that plan that He has for you. It is not about what you are able to bring to the table but how God has provided everything to complete His plan for your life.
Thirdly, this plan includes an intimacy with God, through His Son Jesus that is far greater than we could ever experience with anyone else. He dwells within our hearts: the heart is the place where our true self exists; it is the place which determines our character, our choices, our passions and our core values and beliefs. There is no one that has access to that the way that Jesus Christ does.
Fourth, God’s love is the source of our life. It is what sustains and nurtures us. It is a love that we can know and experience completely. It is not something that we just talk about theoretically but we can speak of because we have been completely immersed in it. From that love we receive the life giving power to carry out the plans that God has for us. Without it we have no power to and no life.
You will notice that everything spoken about here is initiated by God. We do not qualify for it by our good lives or earn it by the good things we do. It is completely dependent on God to accomplish in our lives. That is where so many people go wrong. They want to do something to attain this for themselves rather than trust in God to provide it for them as a free gift.
I know that you have a lot of experience in the church and whether it was never presented to you properly or you misunderstood, if you are not experiencing this kind of love and relationship with God that is being described here it is because you are trying to earn God’s love rather than trust in Him to give it to you through Jesus. I don’t mean that to sound condemning but I want you to hear it as a message of hope. This kind of relationship with God is possible. The struggle that you have experienced up to this point is not the way that God has intended it. You can be free from the weight of having to continue to earn God’s love. He is offering it to you with no strings attached and no expectations of having to qualify for it or work to keep it.
Now that doesn’t mean we live life in wild abandon and do whatever we want. When we receive the love of God it transforms our desires so that we want to do the things that are right. We don’t do them to earn His or qualify to keep His love but we do it because we are so grateful for what He has done for us. Our moral life is evidence that we have received His love. If you want to find out more about how you can experience this love for yourself have a look at powertochange.com/discover/faith/discoverpurpose. I would also recommend that you connect with one of our online mentors who can help you understand how God loves you. You will find the mentor request form at powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor.
Sometimes, Prayer just isnt enough. Growing up, I was a devout christian. Went to church twice a week, and I had strong faith. I honestly tried to do what I had been tought was right. No drugs, no alochol, no sex before marrige, i tried to be a good man. After gradution, I joined the military. And I proudly served for 10 years. I recently got out with an honorable discharge about 20 months ago. I was going to college full time, but things happened and the GI bill got cut. But for the past month or so, i cant get the thought of secuide out of my head. I dont even feel like the same person. Sometimes you go through so much you’re just not the same person anymore. The only reason why I havent killed myself is that I know without a doubt that god exists, and I am afraid of going to hell for otherwise living a good life aside from ending it. But I dont know what to do anymore. I’m tired of hurting, tired of the sadness and stress, and just tired of feeling tired.
While I was in the service, I never got to go home. I got the leave approved once, but that was about a week before september 11th, and I never got another opportuniy. I got a week off here or there after deploying, but never once, did I get to go home in 10 years of service. And i see news reports of familes reuniting after 9 months and it takes everything I’ve got to not break down right then and there. I still keep in touch with my family, but its like speaking to strangers at this point. And nobody asks how I’m doing, its mostly just catching up on what everyone else is doing. But nobody ever asks how I am. My older brother and younger sister are both married with children. 3 apiece. And i have yet to even start a steady relationship.
My biggest reason to leave the military, was that i wanted a normal life. I wanted a wife, kids, family of my own. And I couldnt do that being gone for 6 months to over a year at times. I couldnt put someone I loved through that. And I never understood how other people could do it either. I still dont have a family of my own, I dont even have a lady friend to speak of. I havent even been able to find a church I am comfterable with in the area that I live in.
I did recently get a job, but its very long hours, for just enough to get by on. I dont save anything, but I can manage to break even. And I’ve cut out everything I possibly can but its still hard.
Ive been on “autopilot” for so long now, that it doesnt even feel like living. Its like going through the motions for the sake of it, but its really difficult to fully explain. I cant remember the last time i ate 3 meals in a day. Its been 3 years at least. Most days i eat mabye 1, if that. And i dont eat because im hungry, i only eat because i know that i should be eating. I sleep at most 4 hours an evening, but even thats not all at once. I dont have any friends to speak of, only my distant family and my co-workers who i am still getting to know.
At this point, the only thing thats keeping me going is fear of the possible hereafter. And I dont think that will last much longer. Fear turns into numbness and eventually you just stop careing. But I just dont know what else to do. I dont have any money. No family to call on for help. No friends. My job doesnt even have health insurance or medical insurance because I’ve only been working there for about a month now.
Im just tired. so tired. of being alone and scared. and tired. This isnt a cry for attention. I’m a veteran who is 30 years old, who came home to nothing. I just dont know what else to do. The only reason why I posted this to complete strangers is that I dont even have anyone else to talk to. I’ve prayed about it, but I dont get any awnsers.
Thank you for your time and for reading. At least someone will know this strangers story.
God bless.
That Guy.
Indonesian01 God forgives all of us no matter what we say one of the things I have learned is to ask the holy spirit to give me the words to say and to say things in a kind way. Otherwise it comes across as self serving one. Many times but not all the time depression is a result of sin as Paul sinned and felt depressed many times. In Romans 8 I have very helpful for me:
1 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power[a] of the life-giving Spirit has freed you[b] from the power of sin that leads to death. 3 The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature.[c] So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. 4 He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit.
5 Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. 6 So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. 7 For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God’s laws, and it never will. 8 That’s why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God.
It is stated before in july 15 comment by someone named “faith”.
Here’s the quotation from article (paragraph 2):
“First of all, I want to tell you that your friend’s suicide and death was not anyone’s fault. Her suicide was the result of her choice and her psychological instability. Don’t let false guilt and self-blame take over. You and others tried to help. But, this woman is the one who made the choice despite all your pleadings and intervention.”
The topic has been brought up before so it surprised me if this is considered as accusation.
Saying that the suicide was the result of her choice (alone) is offending for certain kind of deppression especially the kind inflicted by others during childhood where the victim could not possibly be able to do anything about. I am no scholar in this matter but the fact that I was offended and that “faith” was also somehow offended is prove enough to me.
And I’am personally sorry and ask for appologize to the writer and others who were offended about me asking about the writer’s personal relationship with Jesus.
The idea of asking that originally came from the tought that mentioning the writer’s personal testimony would actually help the topic. But executed with a little bit of rage here and there so the fact that it offended someone is somehow not so surprising. Again, I am sorry.
indonesian01, are you saying a person wearing a shirt & tie cannot be in a state of desperation? Suicidal thoughts unfortunately know no social bounds. Which part(s) did you feel were “too judging”? Making such accusations without specifying what or why could be construed as being judgmental too, as could questioning whether the author knows Jesus Christ personally. I hope and pray that this article has helped, and will continue to help, many people. If anyone reading this is facing struggles and needs someone to talk to, please contact a mentor, you will receive a confidential reply via email.
I think the above image does not really represent “desperation”: the tidy clothes and tie.
It’s like implying that the writer does not really understand despair and just want this page to look nice. And yes part of the article is too judging, especially to the would be victim side (who is more likely to find this site).
The prayer is nice, and I would like to know just how well the writer has known Jesus personally(?).
This is again directed to PonitofnoReturn.
My point being that if you haven’t found one that has dealt properly with your “pain guilt blinding anger sorrow and lonesomeness” you still have not found the one that fits. As for myself I found that I was carrying such things as well but when I found a way to truely let go I saw looking back that I had been carrying them like a big backpack of rocks where I felt the load but I found the work of carrying them was useless.
Taking off the backpack did me a world of good.
Directed to Halbcust
Thankyou for you reply. Just wanted to let you know that I have been to many counsellors, psychiatrists, and psychologist over my lifetime. Ive given every type of therapy an honest and fair shot. I agree with you 100% that it can take a while to find the right person. That being said..Im still fighting, I just dont know how much fight I have left in me
I direct this to PonitofnoReturn, did your counselors not talk to you about how you “carry all this pain guilt blinding anger sorrow and lonesomeness.”?
From my experience there are alot of good counselors out there but it’s a little like buying shoes. They maybe good shoes but they might not fit.
It took a lot of effort to find one that does but when you do are not the results worth it? They are if you find the one that makes a difference.
In the end suicide is not the answer getting help (the right help) is the answer.
Hi all
Ive been reading a lot of comments here, finding that many of them strike a chord in me. I have fought depression for over 30 decades now, and it seems to be a losing battle. I have attempted suicide a few times, and what i figure was my lack of research into it is what saved me. I believe in God, and Jesus, and there have been a few intense spiritual moments in my life that give me the personal verifiable proof that they exist.
At this moment I am at a point of no return…my depression and anxiety have me so overloaded that many times a day I feel like im seized up, and cant function, I cant even find the energy to cry, and release. Through many years of counselling, different techniques, and other unsuccessful methods of treatment have left me on the edge with no where to turn. I have buried most of my family, friends are gone. I have thought of suicide again for quite a while, constantly fighting. I know im my heart theres a dying ember still raging against the thought of ending it all. like a previous poster, posted it no longer seems worth it to carry all this pain guilt blinding anger sorrow and lonesomeness. Hoping some might have an idea, other than going back to the hosp. where they tend to treat people like me with indignity ( last psychiatrist I saw pretty much told me im full of it and walked away..even the counsellor was shocked and at a loss for words). I dont know how much longer i can hold on. I apologize if this post is cryptic, i didnt want to get into my whole life story..I know what im accountable for and what om not.
I think you missed the point of this article Faith. The person had asked Ms Hoy a specific question about the friend who had committed suicide and it was the person herself who said that she had feared for her sanity, and not an assumption on the part of the author.
As for saying that she sinned, the point was that taking a life, any life, would be considered a sin, but that it isn’t unforgiveable. Sin is actually a greek archery term by which they measured how far the arrow missed the target. It is the same in our lives. God is holy and is our target but we cannot reach it therefore we sin. The good thing is that He also provided forgiveness through the death of his son, Jesus Christ, on the cross.
@ Ms. Hoy-Though some of your answer may have been helpful I think you were overly judgmental and harsh on the deceased. Saying that she sinned, was psychologically unstable, etc. A person has the right to make their own choices including when and how to end their life. She could have made a sound decision that her journey on this earth was over and she was ready to go home to her Lord and Father. Don’t assume that you know anything unless you have walked in that person’s shoes. The poster was looking for comfort not a lecture by yet another medical professional who wants to play God.
I get bullied by my parents and students at home and at school and I thought I wanted to commit suicide, but I’ve known that if I do commit suicide, it might hurt the people I love. I am 12 years old and I am going into 7th grade. When I get in trouble at times, I think I really want to die right at this minute if it’s the last thing I do. I’ve never committed suicide before and they know I will not do it.
Jason – would you like to talk to someone? We have mentors available. You can use this form to contact a mentor at any time and they will respond by email. If you’d rather speak to someone on the phone you can call 1-800-394-4673 to talk to a trained counsellor right now. I don’t know what you are going through right now, but it sounds awful. You mentioned that you have good things in your life but that it doesn’t seem to be worth it. Do you think you might be in a depression at the moment?
Depression is a very real, physical alignment where the chemicals in your brain make it almost impossible for your emotions to match up to your experiences. There is help available and there is no weakness in asking for it. If you were sick with cancer you’d see a doctor. Depression often goes untreated because we foolishly think that we should just snap out of it, or people tell us to cheer up. Sometimes people even chastise us, saying “Don’t you have a great life? What do you have to upset about, you should be thankful!” but if you’re depressed it’s not that simple. It’s not a case of not wanting to feel better, it’s simply not being ABLE to feel better. There are doctors who can help and it can make such a difference. You don’t have to do this alone.
I don’t know if you believe in God, but I do so I prayed for you just now. I asked God to give you the strength to ask for help if you need it. I asked him for clarity to show you what to do, and for the openness to know how much you are loved. This can get better. It really can.
Dear Jason, So glad that you posted and you are so right about having people and things in ourlives but we can still be left lonely. I had all that you had BUT a deep lonliness deep within my core was ever so present. A void that could not be filled no matter what on earth I tried to fill it with…no husband filled it..kids couldn’t ease the pain…a high paying job meant nothing…drinking nor even doctors couldn’t fill my heartache and I too thought that death would be the only thing to cease such darkness. YET by the grace of GOD..he filled that void in my heart and as been working on filling it up for me on a daily basis. It has not been an easy, sweet road to this new found freedom and life in Christ Jesus for many layers of lies from the enemy, many layers of grief and sorrow had to be stripped from my heart so i could allow the fullnest of CHRIST to reign in my heart. Where I once was not able to love I can love now, where i once was unable to receive god’s garce and mercy i can now and give such to others from a better place within my inner being. I hope and pray that you will reach out and grab hold of the true source to your lonliness..it is found in Chris alone. May God take you by the hand and lead you into accepting HIS greatest gift of all…which is Christ Jesus.
You don’t have to be a lonely teenager to feel hopeless or worthless. I’m 38, educated, decent job, wife, kids, house, some friends, travelled a lot when I was younger, have always tried to do everything right (or at least try to fix the things I got wrong). I’d give it all up in a heartbeat if I could simply cease to exist. The good things just don’t seem to be worth all the pain and anger.
Chrissy, I’m glad that you found this site. There are some great articles to be found here, and mentors who will walk the journey with you when you are overwhelmed. Barbara was so right when she said that if you have someone to talk to it really helps so I hope that there is someone in your world that you can talk to. If not, please respond to the site mentor that will be in contact with you. Easter is about the fact that we do have hope even when life seems hopeless. My prayer for you today is that you would see a glimmer of hope to hang on to this weekend.
chrissy, it sounds like you’re going through very difficult times. I have submitted your comment to one of our mentors who will be replying to you personally via email soon. If you don’t wish to talk with them, you don’t need to reply, but I encourage you to do so, as I believe they will be able to help you. In the meantime, please check out these suicide help resources. I pray that soon you will find the peace, purpose, and hope for the future that you are searching for.
Dear Chrissy,
I hope that you find some help with what you are dealing with. Is there a local support group you can go to? Or check in with a pastor at your church? I have struggled with the same thing you are battling with….yesterday in fact was the worst day of my life..suicidal thoughts floooded my mind but thank god He pulled me through it this morning…depression is are to deal with but there are a lot of things to help you get through these horrible feelings of despair….make certain that you keep open and talk honsetly with someone about your feelings…I had to open up yesterday to my husband about my suicidal thoughts even if that might had meant him committing me for intreatment observation. openess and honsety helps get rid of the depression along with eating good, exercise and listening to music. what has helped me greatly is enrolling in a class that will go towards a certificate in ministry…maybe you can think about enrolling in a class that will help you train for something you wuold like to become.
God Bless,
Barbara
I have sever depression & no medicine has helped me. The despair & hopelessness is overwhelming & I feel I have no purpose in life & nothing to live for. I pray but feel no relief & I thought of sucide. Each day I’m awake is a day in hell for me. I’m hanging on by a thread!
Dear A. Serrano,
It broke my heart to read your comment because it sounded so familiar. I remember being where you are now, bullied every day at school until I was convinced that I was worthless. I also thought that suicide was the only option for me and I was so very wrong about that. I know how overwhelming it feels. I know it feels like you don’t have any other options but you do. I didn’t tell my parents what was happening to me at school until I was in university and when I finally did my Mom said, “Why didn’t you tell me?” and I asked her “What difference would it have made? You have to go to school.” Then she told me that she would have pulled me out of school if she had known I was in danger. She would have helped me transfer, or sent me to a private school or even taught me at home if she had known that school was not a safe place. Back when it was happening I thought I didn’t have any choice. School was horrible, but I thought I had to go. I remember walking home really really slowly because from the moment I stepped off the bus until the moment I had to get back on the bus the next morning was 18 hours, and those moments when I just got off the bus, that was when I had the longest time until I had to go back. Do you do stuff like that too?
You have so many more options that you realize. If you call 1-800-394-4673 you can talk to a suicide counsellor RIGHT NOW. They are trained professionals and they can help. It might not feel like anyone can help but they can. It does get better. It got better for me. I didn’t think that there was any hope at all but there was, there is. I know this is going to sound like something that adults say, but I would have missed SO much if I had gone through with my plan to kill myself. I would never have moved out to the coast, never stood in the ocean. I would not have danced at my brothers’ weddings or held my tiny nieces and nephews. I would have missed seeing Italy and riding in a gondola in Venice. I would never have know what it feels like to hike through a cloud or stand on the top of a mountain.
When things are bad our vision gets small – we can only see what hurts and everything else is fuzzy. I promise you that there are good things out there. There are good things for YOU and good people who don’t care if you’re big or small, white or black, funny or athletic or dramatic. I know the bad things have been happening for a long time, but you are just at the start of all the good. You’re a teenager now, you’re going to get more and more freedom, more experience, more opportunity to choose and decide what you like and who you want to be. You don’t want to miss out on that.
I am so glad that you are seeing a counsellor at your school. That is really, really brave! I wish I could give you a huge hug and tell you how proud am I of you that you are doing that. It is the very best thing you can do. Be honest with your counsellor. Let them know what is really happening and what you are really thinking about. They can help. Let them help. I know it can be scary but I promise it is much less scary than trying to sort all this out on your own. If you would like to talk to one of our email mentors, just fill out this form and someone will get back to you in the next couple of days.
Don’t miss your own birthday. Make sure you are still here in September. The world would never be the same without you. I will pray for you and ask God to give you what you need.
Dear Serrano,
I am so glad that you reached out and posted what is on your heart. It helps all of us greatly when we reach out to others when we are hurting and battling with a horrible problem. I too was bullied when I was in school…I was obese and made fun of badly…I wanted to end my life, I wanted to even kill the entire group of kids that were bullying me…It was a bad time in my life just like what you are going through right now…but PLEASE be aware that the bullying will stop…that a new season in your life will come forth. There is a good reason as to why God did not allow you to end your life…He stopped all of my suicide attempts and now I am begining to reach out to others that are in need of an encouraging word.
Please seek help for the thoughts that are running thorugh your mind. It is not God’s will for you to end your life…just last week I had those old suicidal thoughts creep in but pushed through to go on to do that which God wanted me to do. You see we have an enemy out in this world and he will do anything to hinder your walk with God….When I was going to school and couldn’t handle the pressures of being around everyone I would pull out scraps of paper and would write my heart out to God while in class…it was the only way I knew how to survive back them…Please hook up with a mentor from this sight…they are wonderful people and are filled with God’s love. I am in my later 40′s now and when those toxic thoughts try to ambush me I hook up with one of my pastors and she helps me through such times….don’t hide those thoughts from others…bring them to the light so that they will loose their hold/grip on you..pray that God would work in the hearts of those that are bullying you….He is in the buisness of making miracles out of people and this He could do for you and them whom are your enemy at this time. As it is written in HIS word He will maketh a table before your enemies…I was bullied at my last work place by many hurtful women and a year later the Lord delivered on this promise…I end up having my first book signing write in front of the women whom once mocked and made fun of me. God is GREAT…He is a comforter…Jesus came to rescue the broken hearted, the oppressed…He came to save and help you too Serrano. I pray that God will bring you the proper people in your life to help you get rid of the suicidal thoughts…I pray that God will work in the hearts of those that are bullying you…I pray that the Lord comes to your aid swiflty and that you will embrace your 14th birthday filled with joy…In Jesus name I pray, Amen
I’ve struggled with bullying. For years. & I’m fed up. I had my first day at a new school yesterday, and got called a skinny crackhead. My weight, isn’t purposeful. It’s hereditary. My mom was this small when she was my age. & She said she dealt with the same problems. Not as bad as I have. It’s just built up, and built up. And I can’t take it anymore. I’ve attempted suicide once. And matters weren’t extreme enough to lose my life, so I untied the rope. I want to be gone by this weekend. After I see a counselour at school.I’m 13, and I may be 14 in september. ~
money does not make you happy , you just need family that loves you
Dear Anonymous (P), I feel your pain and sorrow YET also recognize that you have a light within you that is leading you to press on regardless of your current situation. I understand the dark thoughts you are struggling with regarding suicide…I have battled with them for many, many, many years…even acted on them numerous times YET God chose to keep me alive and if it is only to tell you that better days are just around the corner for you IF you don’t give up and press on into the glorious life God has waiting for you. I had no father and my mother was not the best of Moms too so I empathize with you in this regard to. My pray is that God will come to your need thisvery special Christmas Eve day and wrap HIS might love around you as far as the East is to the West. I see in your message that you have great understanding already within you regarding our enemy who tries to steal, kill and destroy…don’t you let him led you further into darkness…keep reaching out like you did here so, you need to reveal such darkness to others in order for the darkness to fade away…each time i kept my suicide thoughts to myself I was led into acting on them BUT as soon as I shared those nasty, disturbing thoughts they would loose control…the bible says we are to bring the dark hidden things to the light….keep reaching out to God in prayer and to one or two mentors who could be of service….you are to precious to God…you have been through hell and back numerous times and a light at the end of the tunnel awaits you.
Dear Father God, May you sweep down this very moment and help this lost soul out of the dismay that she is in…bring aid to her mother as well. May they both be blessed by your mercy, grace and abundant favor…send forth your angels to protect and guide them into your love…by whatever means you choose to help them may they recognize your LOVE for them…We know you are a loving Father and that you offer healing and restoration…may such be come a reality in their lives. In Jesus name AMEN
Sorry, it’s a bit late and I’m tired :P
Woops, made a mistake..
I’m not HERE* to tell a sob story or ask for pity, because although I’m still miserable with where I live and how we have no money, I have to be strong for my mother.
I’ve contemplated suicide many times. I’m only 17, and I’ve already literally been through hell and back. My father left before I was born, stating he “wasn’t ready for a child.” So growing up was financially difficult, even though my mother had a well paying job – she was addicted to prescription pain killers. I thought not having money/food on a daily basis and living paycheck to paycheck was “normal.” I soon learned after seeing all my friends getting gifts on Christmas and all my friends parents have bank accounts full of money, that the way we lived was wrong. I’ve gone to sleep hungry and woken up the same way. I dealt with the loss of my grandmother – she died holding my hand. I’ve been homeless and slept in a local park for a whole week with my mother and my dog, and I would hold the umbrella over her so she can sleep when it was pouring rain. My family shunned us away, but when we soon came into money, acted like nothing happened. I’ve been in foster homes and shelters, and my mother and I are now reunited. We currently have no source of income and are living with “family friends” or so we thought. It’s a terrible feeling to constantly hear whispers and live in a house where you’re not wanted. They are forever bad mouthing my mother and I. We have aboslutely nothing, but each other. I’m not hear to tell a sob story or ask for pity, because although I’m still miserable with where I live and how we have no money, I have to be strong for my mother. I strongly believe the devil himself will continue to try to break me down for the rest of my life in fear of what I can become – rather, what I WILL become. I know success is in my future, it’s so bright I nearly need glasses when I imagine it. The devil has tried to separate my mother and I so many times, and it will never work. I’m her rock and she’s my everything. If you’re contemplating suicide, don’t do it. Believe me, I understand pain and embarrassment because you can’t go to the movies with your friends or you only have a few pairs of pants. I’ve been there. I know how it feels to be so jealous it makes you sick because all these celebrities have so much money, and all these bad people are favored while you’re a genuine, caring person and you’re given NOTHING. I get it, completely. But suicide is not the answer. You in fact are put through things God knows you can handle. Hell, I survived through all of that, didn’t I? I’m here writing this to you guys, hoping to inspire you and give you hope. I, too, have my moments of doubt. Just a few hours ago I wanted to kill myself because I’m so sick of living like this. But I didn’t, and you know why? My best friend is pregnant, and I’ll be her baby’s Godmother. My mother has no one apart from me. I have the best friends and people in my life a person could ask for, even if sometimes I forget that or deny it. And I’m o n l y 17. I have the power to change my future and I’ll have a family to raise someday. Don’t commit suicide. It’s not worth it.
Dear Jackie, I pray that God will protect you and your beloved family. I pray that you will seek help for the evil thoughts that are going through your mind. I pray that God will bring you the proper help that you need in order to become well, happy and whole. May you please seek proper help, share your worries and thoughts with godly counsel….I tried to take my life numerous times BUT now I realize it was not what God had in store for me…He has kept me alive for a good reason and cause…and HE has a GREAT plan for you too…I have been blessed by seeking help from a pastor at my church whom was able to tell me the TRUTH about suicide…it is not Gods desire for us…He will take us home in His perfect timing. Satan is the ruler of this fallen world that we live in and he fills our minds with lies after lies after lies…he knows if he can get us to takes our lives then we will not fullfill the awesome things God wants to do through us. Have you talked with your dad about his suicidal thoughts and that you are battling with the same darkness that he is in? My dad and younger sister both took their lives via suicide and this generational curse shall not have powere over my life for GOD is good and Jesus came to break such bondage. Heavely Father I pray that you will comfort and protect Jackie. May you bring her the proper hepl she needs. In Jesus name I pray….Amen
I listened in one of my parents conversations about.. 30 mins ago. They have been having relationship problems and the only reason they are together is because on my brother and I. I even heard my dad say that he would kill himself if he could. The first time I tried to commit suicide was in 6th grade (I am in 9th grade now) I keep telling myself I have to be strong for the sake of my younger brother. And that if I give up now, I don’t know what will happen. If I could just get a few prayers, for strength…. that’s all I ask for.
Darren, So glad you stood up against Mark’s claim…we as believers in Christ Jesus know the truth and that is why we have so much more to look forward to. Mark I think you are blinded to the truth just as many are in this fallen worl…I pray that God moves in your heart and allows you to “see” the real truth..the bible speaks about hell and those whom are not sealed by the Blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimoney will be going there…..there are many false doctrines and I hope that you will see that you might be following one…
mark, I concur with your advice that people visiting this page should make all attempts to get out of their situations. That’s much easier said than done, but it can often help to talk with someone privately about it, though a person seriously contemplating suicide should contact a helpline right away.
That said, you’ve made several claims about the Bible and Christianity. For example, what led you to the conclusion that the Bible is not really true? The idea that Christianity was copied from older religions is inaccurate at best; see for example pages 16-21 of my free ebook here: The Historical Reliability of the New Testament.
You also claim knowledge that there is no hell and about what happens after death. How do you know these things are true? What are the sources for your knowledge? Ie, how do you know what God would or would not do? Citing near-death experiences (NDEs) is problematic, because they are subjective and different people will claim different things that cannot be verified. There are a small number of empirically verifiable NDEs but at most they prove that a human being continues to exist after the physical death of their body. Dr Gary Habermas, who has done considerable research into NDE cases, has a lecture available here (it’s a series of videos) he gave at California Polytechnic State University in 2008: Near Death Experiences.
I recognize too that God is love; after all the Bible states that, and I think we have good reasons to trust what it says. (See ebook link above.) One of my old profs once said that God’s anger is his love “burning hot,” since he could not be a God of love if he turned a blind eye towards sin.
Get away from your terrible situation, and do your best to find your true purpose in life, because if you are not meant to die, then that means you are meant to do something great. Love conquers all!!!
Hell is not real, all living souls go to a beautiful place. The story of the bible is not really true, it is merely a rendition of a story that is thousands of years older than the story of Christ. Do your research on near death experiences, and see the huge amount of people (some not christians) that had a beautiful experience regardless of their beliefs. The key to living life is to love all, regardless of color, religion, or anything else, this is the key to having a fulfilling life and a beautiful life after death. In death, a person is only born again with a greater knowledge of everything and a tremendous amount of love for everyone and everything. An all loving God would never send a soul to a terrible place such as “Hell”.
Hi Nel,
Thanks so much for coming to our site and sharing your pain with us. We do care. Many come feeling that they are at the end of their rope. When we lose all hope, our perspective becomes quite distorted and it is hard to see that people do care and that we are not alone. It is a huge untruth that death is the only answer to our pain. I’ve been in that place and as I worked my way through the dark black tunnel of despair. Today, I recommend that you find someone to talk to. Tell them what you just told us. Chances are you are still wondering what will happen to you in the after life if you do commit suicide. That is probably how you ended up on this article. The fact that you are asking shows that you still do care.
I would like to pray for you and highly encourage you to call someone right now to share your pain. We are here to support you but it is good to talk to someone in person as well. “Lord I pray for Nel. You see the dark blackness that is surrounding their world. I pray that you would give some hope. Help Nel to see that you care and that you desire life and not death. It is you Lord who chooses the time that we end our lives and I don’t believe this is something you want us to choose for you. I pray that you would thwart the dark and evil thoughts of Nel finding someone to do this horrible thing. We ask Lord for your light and hope to surround Nel now. We love you Lord and thank you that you care. This we pray in your name. Amen”
I dont know why Im even writing this email. Its not like my life will change or that I will stop hating it. Im kind of determined to get out of this life that I hate so much. Ive attemptes suicide quite a few times and Im still here unfortunately. I pray to God quite frequently to never wake up and here I am. Now I have considered trying to find someone to kill me so that I can make sure its done right this time. Im just tired of life. The one person that had that was my support system has left me. People keep saying things will get better but it wont, they say you’ll be find bc you have us, but that bs because when their happy no one remembers me. Im stuck all alone ina life that hate with nothing or no one. The person that actually loved me is gone. so what do I have left … Nothing and no reason to be in this horrible life
I’ve been severly depressed for over a year now, been crying non stop for almost 24 hours…I’ve been a Christian since I was 7, but I feel abandoned by Christ. I lost my home, job, 2 deaths ( grandmother & grandfather) this past year, repo guy keeps trying to take my car, I suffer from cysts and tumors all over my body that cause severe pain, I gained weight, my fiance just left me last night with our dog and I don’t have any close friends…I attend church every Sunday, I pray, I repent, I try my hardest to live to please the lord, I volunteer at church, food banks, coach my daughters after school activities…So, why is all this crap happening to me??? I can’t seem to pass HIS tests! Lord, forgive me but I can’t go on anymore! I just don’t get?! WHY??!! I keep getting told that God doesn’t give us more then we can handle, but that isn’t true because I can’t handle being a worthless loser anymore. I wish God had a help line or rather like an answer line because I honestly am LOST
Dear everyone, I read this article and it kind of helped me. I attempted suicide 1 time in my life but did not succeed. First time, I was 13 and I was severely depressed because of family problems, and being picked on a lot. I was home alone 1 day, and I was very depressed that day and thought of ending my life right there. I got mad enough at myself and told myself, “I am going to do this right now, I don’t care where I go after death, long as I get out of this misery world.” I loaded my high-powered rifle and aimed it right under my chin. I pulled the trigger, but no gunshot occurred. The second I pulled the trigger, I was so afraid because I thought I was actually going to be dead right there, and I was supposed to be dead today! Meanwhile, I unloaded my rifle and noticed the bullet primer been hit by the firing pin, and the second the firing pin hits the bullet primer, it is supposed to shoot. I got confused after that and asked myself these questions, “Why didn’t the gun shoot even though it is supposed to fire? Was this just a coincidence loading in a dead or bad bullet? Or did God save my life that day because it wasn’t my time yet?” To this day, I am still confused because that bullet did not fire when it was supposed to. I had saved that bullet for a few days after I attempted suicide and went out to zero in my new scope. The first bullet I loaded in was the bullet that was supposed to kill me that day. I loaded my rifle, aimed at my target, pulled the trigger, and BOOM!, the bullet fired. After the passed few weeks, I was shocked about the bullet not firing the first time I pulled the trigger. My depression decreased after I went to church a few times and learn more about God. I didn’t really know him that much, and today, I pray and thank him for saving my life that day. Sometimes, I think about ending my life this time. But I think first, “What will happen to my family? Who will take care of my parents when they get older? Will one of my friends/family get depressed to and also end their life? Will I go to hell for doing one of the worst sins?” I fight through all this as my depression gets worse from my bad habit of smoking pot. But I always tell myself, “God gave me a chance that day I was supposed to die, don’t ruin that opportunity to get to know God more and accept him in my life for he created us because he loves us all, and doesn’t want us to do sinful things for those who do, go to the darkest pits of hell for betraying God and not accepting him as our father and saviour.” He is coming very soon, and I want to be there to forgive him for my sins and accept him because he sent his only son Jesus Christ to die for our sins. God loves each and every one of us here on Earth. He created life to show us how much he loves us, and doesn’t want us to be afraid of death because when our time comes, he will be there to take your soul to heaven! He is the way, he is the truth, he is the life! Please be ready for the second coming of Jesus Christ for it is very near! Please accept him in your lives right now. No matter how tough life is, always know that hell is worse, and you don’t want to go there! We only get one chance to live, and live it with God in your hearts for he will give you eternity life in Heaven!
Dear Daniel, Please seek the help from a mentor or pastor who could aid/comfort you through this valley of darkness….my heart understands your sorrow re; suicidal thoughts and I have come to know that they arelies from our enemy Satan. He wants you to take your life so that you do not receive that which God will do in your life. Dear Lord, I pray that you will keep Daniel safe and unharmed…may we hear back from this desperate soul letting us know the enemy did not take his soul this day (Nov. 21st)…God may you move in this beloved ones life like know other time before. In Jesus name I pray, Amen
I don’t know your situation, but it sounds like you feel you have no hope. People do care. There is a way around overwhelming bills even when you can’t see it that way. It’s hard to know why God doesn’t answer our prayers the way we would want him to. Suicide is not an answer. It is a lie that this would solve problems. It will hurt those you leave behind. There is a way through this. Please check out this link. There are many resources here. http://powertochange.com/life/suicidehelp/
You can call I-800-SUICIDE and talk to someone.
We will match you up with a mentor who will connect with you. I wanted to respond immediately because I saw the timely nature of your comment.
I would like to pray for you. “Lord, I pray for Daniel. You know the darkness and despair he is feeling right now. You know that the darkness is calling him and that this is not the answer. I pray that you would give him hope for tomorrow. Lift him up. Give him hope that things can and will turn around. I don’t know the answer – but I do not that death is not the answer. I pray against the darkness which seeks to devour and destroy and pray for life and hope. I ask Jesus that you would touch him in a special way. This I pray in your name. Amen”
Greetings, this is going to sound very strange, l’m a very loving human being, l’m always happy. I know GOD PERSONALLY, but NOV 21,2010 l’m going to drown myself in lake michigan. Because l don’t understand why my prays are not being answered. I pray for humanity l love life l teach people aboutlove, but l have bills thats overwhelming
Dear Christian and Caroline,
My haert goes out to both of you for i know what you are both facing. I lost my father and my younger sister to suicide and I have tried five times to take my own life as well. This generational curse that has been passed down through my blood line and has played havoc through my family will no longer have control nor be passed down….Through the love of GOD and Christ Jesus I have been set free from such evil thoughts. Reaching out to a pastor at my church has helped greatly. When we bring our darkness to the light then the power of such evil can no longer control us. We all must understand that GOD has a good plan for each and everyone of us and Satan our enemy will do anything and everything to allow such to take place even if that includes lies about suicide…..reach out to JESUS and He will rescue you from such sinister hands.
Barbara
what a coincident…i was researching about what happens to the soul of the ones who committed suicide..because two months and 10 days ago, my brother committed suicide..his name was same with you christian…he was just 20…up to now, we are wondering why did he do it…up to now we are grieving…i feel pity esp. with my mom, she was been confined in the mental hospital for a week due to depression..my lil siblings are very much affected too…i am the eldest, we grew up altogether in the same house…i was been 5 months away from home before it happened…i am working abroad…it really hurts…its so hard..
Christian,
Please choose to live your young life. Yes, it’s said that we can’t love what we don’t know. But often times we can touch others’ lives in ways that we don’t realize or comprehend. Please always know that you and your life are very precious.
God bless you.
Christian, I’ve forwarded your comment to one of our online mentors who will respond to you by email soon; if you’d like to talk with them, just reply, if not, you’re not obligated to respond. It may be helpful though so please consider giving it a try.
If you feel like you need help right away and need to talk with someone immediately, there are resources available such as phone #’s you can call. Choosing to leave life would be your choice, as you say, but the better choice is choosing to live!
Hello, I’m 14 and my names Christian.
Im always depressed and feel worthless. My stepdad died and he was like a father to me and my dad is divorced and never talks to me or contacts me. I just cant pain the pain anymore. I’ve tried everything and nothing works. What pisses me off is that random people say they love me when I bring up that i want to kill myself, I hate that i don’t know the people so I’m not going to accept their feelings towards me. I have no one at all. I just want to leave life because its my choice not someone elses.
Deysi, was so sorry to hear about your struggles, but I’m glad to hear you’re in counseling classes. I just want to encourage you and let you know that your words have been heard. If you ever feel like you need someone else to talk with, or there are things you just don’t feel comfortable sharing in your face-to-face counseling, you are welcome to contact a mentor and they will reply to you by email. My prayer for you is that God will reveal more of Himself to you through this difficult time and that you will grow to know more of Him and therefore understand more of yourself: “My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.” Psalm 73:26
My ex commited suicide a month ago. Throught our breakup we argued me fought and we had so many problems. That morning he came by my house insulted me and said many awful coments. He left my house angry and very despirate. Before everything happens he had threatnen me he was going to kill himslelf I was very scared by his words so I told his mom about our situation she never believe he was going to do something like that so she left it alone. I once tried to get back with him but I had fear I was scared he was going to get out of control and hurt me. I know it was not my fault and I can’t make hi decisions but I miss him soo much he was my first long term retationship and we shared so much together but I was not working out as a healthy relationship. I miss him and love him. I’m still in denial that he’s gone. That day I found out about his death a ran away and also tried to take my life away I want to reunite with him. I’m currently taking couseling classes to learn to let go and to seek help. I don’t want to be selfish and leave the people that love me and see them hurt but I’m hurting inside I can’t take this pain I was so use to him and now I don’t have noone. I pray for him and hope god forgave him. I don’t what to do I feel strange I don’t know if he is still here or he is actually gone.
Dear Kathy,
God never gives up on any of his children…You must realize that He has a good plan for your life and Satan will do anything and everything to see to it that it does not happen. Continue to seek God and do whatever you can to improve in any area of your life that you are being led by God to surrender to HIM. Please do not give up…do not take your life for it is so valuable. The other day I had such strong thoughts to end my life too…but by the GRACE of God I did not take that path…I flushed all my old medications down the drain and even stopped on the prescription bottle so that it had no hold on me…so glad that God rescued me from that all to familiar road of destruction…the word of my testimoney to other hurting souls is what I beleive God kept me alive for (He had me survive 5 realy bad attempts) I been writing a book regarding my 40 year struggle and start it off with “I shall not die but live and profess what the Lord has done.” God does have a good plan for you too Kathy just keep praying and crying out to HIM to set you free from the worn out path you have been traveling on. God Bless You and May His Peace enter into your weary soul.