Understanding Cutting

Written by Dena Yohe

My daughter cut herself for the first time when she was 12 years old. Today, 11 years later, she is still struggling to overcome this problem. At the time I knew absolutely nothing about “self-harm” and it scared me to death. I was shocked and bewildered that she would do such a thing. It’s important to understand cutting – what it is, who does it, why people do it, and how to get help for you or a friend to stop hurting inside and out.

What is cutting?

Cutting is when someone takes something sharp, like a razor, knife, scissors or piece of glass, and runs it along a part of their body, usually to the point of bleeding or bruising. Most cuts are made on arms, wrists and legs. Sometimes, people cut their chest, stomach, face, neck, breasts or genitals. Cutting on the arms and wrists is the most common because it’s often easier to make up excuses for marks on these parts of the body, something like “My cat scratched me,” or “I had an accident in the kitchen.”

Cutting is a form of self-injury, self-harm or self-mutilation. Some people also call it slashing or slicing.
Besides cutting, people may hurt themselves in other ways, including scratching, burning, picking at wounds, hair pulling, punching or head butting. People cut to deal with difficult problems or feelings they cannot verbally express.

Who cuts and why?

About two million people in the U.S. hurt themselves in some way. Most are teenagers or young adults, and they’re from all races and backgrounds. They often wear clothing like long pants or shirts to hide their cutting, even in warm weather.

For most people, it’s hard to understand why anyone would intentionally hurt themselves. But, for those who cut, there are a few common reasons:

  • emotional pain they can’t put into words
  • to gain a sense of control when other things in their life are out of control
  • to punish themselves for troubling thoughts or acts.
  • some find the act soothing
  • to get a reaction from other people.

No matter the reason, cutting is a serious, dangerous behavior, and may be a sign of another problem.
Many people who cut themselves also have an eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia. Some may be experiencing depression. Others may have been sexually or physically abused.

Is cutting a suicide attempt?

Usually, people who cut aren’t trying to kill themselves. At the same time, cutting can be life-threatening. In fact, sometimes, people can’t control the injury and die accidentally.
If you or someone you know is thinking about killing themselves, contact 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433) immediately or contact befrienders.org from anywhere in the world to talk to a crisis center in your area. Suicide is never the answer to your problems.

You can also tell them about this site: myspace.com/towriteloveonherarms This non-profit is about bringing awareness, hope, encouragement and community to those who struggle with self-harm, depression and suicide (as well as addictions). They also raise money to help support programs that are addressing these issues. They gave away over a million dollars in 2009! My daughter’s story was the inspiration behind this global movement of love and hope. You can read her story by going to the myspace address above, then scrolling down and clicking on “read the story here” in the right hand column. (I apologize, there is profanity in the story)

How can I help a friend with this?

If you have suspicions, go ahead and ask them about it. Friends with cutting problems are often glad to be able talk about it. If you bring it up and this person isn’t self-injuring, it won’t start just because you said something about it. If they leave their wounds uncovered so that you can see them, they want you to ask them about it. Offer options but don’t tell your friend what to do. If someone’s using cutting or some other kind of self-injury as a way to feel in control, it won’t help if you try to take control of the situation. Helping someone see ways to get help – like talking to a parent, pastor, teacher, school counselor or mental health professional- may be the best thing you can do.

Educate yourself on the issue. Two helpful websites for both the person who is struggling with cutting, as well as their family and friends are: selfinjury.com and selfmutilatorsanonymous.org They even have online support group meetings. A few good books are Inside a Cutter’s Mind: Understanding and Helping Those Who Self-Injure by Jerusha Clark and Dr. Earl Henslin, Bodily Harm: The Breakthrough Healing Program For Self-Injurers by Karen Conterio and Wendy Lader, Ph.D. and A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain by Marilee Strong. There are many others on Amazon.

Seek support for yourself, too. Knowing a friend who is going through this can be frightening and stressful. Consider talking to someone else you trust. And remember, even if you don’t want to share your friend’s secret, you can still talk to a mental health professional about how it is affecting you. Remember, you’re not responsible for ending your friend’s self-abuse. You can’t force someone to stop or to get help from a professional. You can’t fix them or change them, but what you can do, always, is keep being a trustworthy, caring friend. Just asking about it and encouraging them to seek help shows them someone cares. It may be exactly what they need to take the next step.

How can I help myself?

Talk to someone you trust. Maybe it’s a parent or a good friend, a pastor, youth worker or a school counselor. Tell them you’re cutting yourself, and want to stop. Ask them to help you find help. Know that you may get some tough reactions like denial or sadness or anger, but that will pass. If you’re not comfortable with that, contact a local mental health group or a hotline in your area. There is a lot of help available and this can be overcome.

Cutting isn’t something to deal with on your own. There are therapists and support groups who can help you work through what makes you cut. Even if you’re nervous about getting help, take this step, because NOW is the best time to do it. If you wait, the problem will only get bigger and harder to hide. You can stop cutting!

My daughter says in her book Purpose for the Pain, “I didn’t do this of my own accord, I am not that strong. God has carried me . . . It was hard work getting to this point (in recovery 6 months) . . . but it happened, and it can happen for anyone who wants it. This isn’t my story. This is God’s story of redemption . . . how beautiful is that?”

If you would like to talk to someone privately we have mentors available by email.  All you need to do is use this form to send in a question. We will match you with a mentor who will respond in email, usually within a couple of days. You can email back and forth with your mentor as long as you like. The conversation is private and there is never a fee.

Take a look at your life. How would you describe it? Contented? Rushed? Exciting? Stressful? Moving forward? Holding back? For many of us it’s all of the above at times. There are things we dream of doing one day, there are things we wish we could forget. In the Bible, it says that Jesus came to make all things new. What would your life look like if you could start over with a clean slate?

Living with hope

If you are looking for peace, there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.

Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.

Is this the life for you?

If you invited Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.


148 Responses to “Understanding Cutting”

  • Chris says:

    shay…we praise jesus for the wonderful work of redemption he is doing in and through you! bringing you the grace to live each day as it comes unto victory since jesus is your victory who lives inside of you. amen! colossians 1.27

  • Shay says:

    Chris thank you so much for your kind words and prayer. For a while I’ve been feeling like I was literally going psychotic and couldn’t really talk to anyone because they would think I’m crazy. I’m glad I came across this site because I see there are people who truly understand what I’m going through and that Jesus is the only solution. I’ll check out that website you recommended.

  • Shay says:

    Chris thank you so much for your kind words and prayer. For a while I’ve been feeling like I was literally going psychotic and couldn’t really talk to anyone because they would think I’m crazy. I’m glad I came across this site because I see there are people who truly understand what I’m going through and that Jesus is the only solution. I’ll check out that website you recommended. And yes I do have a church I belong to, I’m just guilty in the sense that I haven’t been going regularly:(

  • Chris says:

    shay…so sorry to hear of your personal struggles….its true that satan tries to use people in our lives to ruin them. we would expect love from our parents and it should be there but at times it isnt since they themselves do not have the love of christ within them. boyfriend or girlfriend relationships can be even more shallow. people simply change their minds, get cold feet or arent sure about who they have gotten involved with but that doesnt change jesus promise to join us with the selection of his choice. Matthew 19.1 and following. as we keep our eyes on jesus alone and his promises, hebrews 12, hebrews 6.12, we can be assured of success because if there is one thing jesus cant do is break a promise. numbers 23.19 to 20. be sure you are in a powerful Christian church getting spiritual support there. if you dont have a church like that, let me know, i can check on one for you. also check on settingcaptivesfree.com for their course the cross centered mind for help with depression. i pray today that jesus makes you whole on the inside where he is so that you can enjoy your life on the outside too!!

  • Shay says:

    I don’t remember how I came across this website but I’m glad I did. Here I was thinking something was wrong with me for cutting and being so depressed, but came to find out I’m not alone. I’m sorry for what everyone on here is going through or has been through. Please don’t give up hope in Jesus because even through the darkest times He will shine through to us all. I’ve been suffering depression since I was 11 or 12 and started cutting then as well. It started because my home environment was toxic and my parents were always trying to control me. I couldn’t stand not being able to live freely so I cut to match how I felt inside. I also suffer from very low self esteem- I despise myself, how I am, and who I am. I feel like one big, hideous mistake that shouldn’t be around people. Is it heard of to want to hurt yourself because of your inner insecurities? When I decided to give my life to Christ a few years ago, everything started changing and confidence came through like I’ve never seen before. Of course when you start feeling high the devil is never too far to negate all the good that has surfaced. This past September my boyfriend if a year left me and the depression came back full force. I know it probably sounds dumb to be depressed over that but that was literally the first man I fell in love with, he was my best friend. We had a healthy relationship, we prayed and read the bible together. We tried to make our relationship centered around Jesus, but fell short along the way. Anyways, he now wants nothing to do with me because he says I’m not good enough or woman enough for him. He’s moved on but I’m still in love and believe he’s the one I’m supposed to be with. I go around empty and I’m starting to believe that love is a lie. I blamed God for it first but then realized that we have free will, and my boyfriend left me. I hated him for it and wanted to seek revenge (but didn’t ).The self loathing has cone back and the urge to cut and commit suicide is greater than ever. For majority of my life, satan has used my insecurities as the ultimate weapon against me to cause me to sin against God and harm my temple. How can I be free from this? How can I stop complaining and embrace how The Lord has created me?

  • Shelley says:

    Ryan may the Lord bless you as you keep on seeking His grace each day that He give you another day to be with Him.

  • Ryan says:

    I’m not sure if this will even be read by Krissy but I hope “by an act of God” you are able to see it. Not sure how old you are or what has happened to you but I will tell you a little about me. From the age 2-11 my step mom abused me in almost every way you can think of,from choking me until I passed out to making me stand up next to her bed all night while she slept, then when I started to fall asleep she beat the [expletive removed] out of me, broke my teeth, collar bone, and wrist. To scared to tell my dad what happened the nights he was at for station cause I was only 5 at that time plus had a little brother I had to protect. I thought how dare people talk about this awesome god,letting little kid be treated like that not awesome if you ask me. When I graduated high school I joined the military and when in Iraq I was put in a situation where an 8 year old boy came out of a house and shot my best friend in the head standing next to me, what’s worse than that was having to shoot the kid that really didn’t know nor have a choice in his actions. It was the coward behind the door holding his little sister with a gun to get head. Again my thoughts were if there is even a god, [expletive removed] him. Then got out of the military moved home, got married and had kids of my own. Started a roofing company, worked my [expletive removed] off, only to lose it all because spine surgery I had to have put me out of commission for to long. Forclosed on my house cause insurance fighting me over paying the $150,000 medical bills, had to file bankruptcy,got addicted to pain pills, still hurt, went to treatment, lost everything almost. Why would god let this happen, I’m a good person, help anyone I can. I’ve been mad at god my whole life but when it comes right down to it, I’m still alive, have three beautiful kids that are healthy, and it’s now I realize that God didn’t do those things people did, when I felt alone I was actually being carried, I’m not going to tell you everything will be all better everyday but I will tell you this without God I wouldn’t have been strong enough to protect my little brother so long, wouldn’t have had the strength to not pull the trigger on the gun I put in my mouth more than once, wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself for shooting a little kid in Iraq, ands most of all wouldn’t have ever met my a awesome wife or have my three children. I am 32 now and have been through allot but it’s not gods fault, he’s only responsible for picking me back up and I attend church every week, kids are involved with church functions, and have more hope today than ever. He might not take away all the pain but sure makes it easier to deal with. I hope you are ok and will talk anytime.

  • Chris says:

    krissy…sorry to hear you are struggling…its true that growing up is not always easy or painless but as we look to God who made us, he will give us the blueprints to have success!! it really takes a close connection with christ to be able to live happily in this world since the world in which we live today is filled with so many challenges many of which are against us. for more information on living a victorious life through jesus, log onto knowingjesuspersonally.com or click talk to a mentor above for more personalized attention. i pray jesus would help you to be comforted today in knowing he is there and ready to help you with your lifes challenges. blessings!!

  • krissy says:

    everything seems to be going up but i still feel like i am drowning. am I just not grateful for what i have. whats wrong with me.

  • Lauren Jamie says:

    I appreciate your honesty Krissy. I am sure you have every reason to blow off what I have to say but I am glad that you took the time to read it anyway. I am praying that God would give you that sign and that you would recognize that it is Him.

    I would like to invite you to watch this video about Laura Klock. Listen to her tell how she discovered that Jesus is real and how His love has made a difference in the way she looks back on the pain of her younger years. Let me know what you think, ok?

  • krissy says:

    Dear jamie
    Not going to lie I scoffed at first cause for my thought was at first was : here we go bring out the bible again but I started to read the words carefully. I dont expect anyone to have an army or to break me out of prison but I would like some form of sign that hey I know you think you are about to fall down but I have good things coming your way that maybe 13 years of holding it all together was for nothing. Just a clue I did tear up a bit reading that and last time I teared up was in 2010 or 11 at christian winter fest and my friends pastor simply turned to me and said I love you all. So yeah the end

  • Lauren Jamie says:

    One thing that we see from the Bible is that there are things going on in the spiritual realm that we know nothing about. Occasionally the Bible gives us a ‘peek behind the curtain’ and we catch a brief glimpse of all that. One event like that is when Elisha, the prophet of God, was surrounded by an angry Syrian army. Elisha’s servant was understandably distressed but Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes Lord.” and suddenly the servant saw on the hills around them chariots of fire ready to protect them (2Kings 6:15-17). Another time Paul and Silas were in Philippi telling people about Jesus. A mob saw their teaching as a threat and were successful in getting them thrown in jail. To make matters worse the area experienced a severe earthquake which demolished that prison where Paul and Silas were being held. But through all of these terrible things happening to these guys, God created an opportunity to share Jesus with the jailer and see his whole family respond to the Good News of Jesus. That began a church in Philippi that became one of the first churches on European soil and to which Paul wrote a letter which we have recorded for us in the Bible.

    I don’t know why God allowed your dad’s wife to come into your family and be so destructive to all of your lives. I can’t answer why God didn’t intervene on behalf of your brothers and why you were left alone to deal with her on your own. But I do know that God has never abandoned you. I do know that He is at work in your family in ways that you and I cannot even fathom. I do know that His love for you has never wavered and He is leading you towards becoming something far more than you can imagine. His promise is sure, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5) And as life continues on you will see evidence of His presence with you even in your darkest days.

    Let me encourage you to continue to ask God to show you that. I know that you have already but I encourage you to tenaciously pursue that question with Him. He can handle your grief and your anger. He wants you to know Him in a more intimate way and in His perfect timing He will meet with you. That’s what Job did. He was relentless in his demand that God would give him and audience. When that day came, even though God never said “This is why”, just being in the presence of God was enough for Job. His relationship with God moved to a whole different level which Job described as “Before my ears had heard of You; but now my eyes have seen You.” (Job 42:5)

    Lord God, I pray for Krissy and ask that You show Yourself to her. She has been pressed down for so long at the hands of this woman and she has endured more than she can stand. I pray that You would meet with her and reveal all that she needs to know about You and Your love for her. I thank You that her father has been willing to hear and believe her story of oppression and that there are others in Krissy’s life who stand with her in this time of pain. I ask Lord that her father would begin making healthy decisions for his family and that You would lead him to step into the role of father and protector. Help Krissy to know what to do to keep safe. Guard her life, guard her heart. In Jesus’ name I ask You, amen.

    Krissy I know my words not be very welcome because you are in pain and angry right now. I would love to hear back from you and let me know what you think about what I have written here. I am praying for you.

  • krissy says:

    I blame him for not protecting my brothers and leaving me to fight her alone thanks for the reinforcements

  • Lauren Jamie says:

    She sounds like a pretty toxic person. Why do you blame God for the things this woman has done?

  • krissy says:

    I know its not a healthy relationship, he cheated but owned up to it and changed hisnway she lied and cheated for 15 frickin years and still denies. She has done everything to seperate my father from us my siblings from each other and hell half her own family is like no stay away. My brothers bled for her I bled for her and my brothers its time for her to go. I have no forgiveness for someone who has hurt my family since I was six. None

  • Lauren Jamie says:

    I am sure it hurts him. It would be hard to see how the choices he has made have such a destructive consequence on his kids. At the same time, I am sure he loves his wife and has a hard time accepting that she is doing such hurtful things. Do you think he has a healthy relationship with his wife?

  • krissy says:

    My father has separated us for the better she is dangerous to me and my brothers who skyped us told my father even more of what she has done that i had planned on not telling. my father may do what is best for himself and i have told him to do so. I have agreed that if i felt unsafe i would leave i have so many people willing to take me in and i am willing to leave everything behind. I am watching out for myself and my father and brothers for they are all i care about. i keep forgetting that this also hurts him too

  • Lauren Jamie says:

    That is wonderful that you have people who love and support you in finding healing. Do you think your father believes you? What do you think he will do about it?

  • krissy says:

    Dear Jaime, who emailed me
    i told my father how i was banned from talking to my brothers who left over a year ago, i wasn’t to write them, call them or message them in any way, how i had to give up my money that i worked for to her. that i was told to hide things from him and my family how i always bowed my head before her and bit my tongue no matter how much it hurt me inside. that she tells others i cutted myself for attention when in reality i just wanted it to all stop. My father was horrified at learning this he felt so blind to my pain and what goes on in his household. he is sorry what made me talk to my father was that i felt safe enough to talk to him. she was away at rehab and my grandfather had made a way for me to tell him. he helped me by not giving me a choice to chicken out. my boyfriend and his siblings that he lives in also backed me up. they had seen me cry cause i was so powerless to stand up and fight back in fear that i would be hated and kicked out like my brothers before me. who joined the service in order to break free. 13 years of unquestioned obedience finally broken maybe I can finally breathe again btw i turn 19 so i had a good 6 years before her

  • Lauren Jamie says:

    Thanks for the update Krissy. I apologize, I totally missed your response back in September. What did you share with your father? What did he say when you told him about what is going on? What made you decide to talk to him about what you have been going through?

  • krissy says:


    Gave my father a glimpse into my world and he is horrifed thanks for the verses I am still religiously bitter but I figured that announcing my displeasure with how the faith has treated me isn’t the best way when I came on here with the biggest attitude so thank you for all your help and words but I have to keep moving

  • saveme says:

    I dont take comfort in those words but I do take comfort knowing that she thought of it for me

  • saveme says:

    My friends daughter told me tl read this

    God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

    2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;

    3 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.

    4 There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.

    5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.

    6 The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.

    7 The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

    8 Come, behold the works of the Lord, what desolations he hath made in the earth.

    9 He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.

    10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

    11 The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah

    was told to read plasm 46 here is what I got

  • Chris says:

    saveme…i regret to hear of your struggles. obviously there are problems you are facing that you havent been able to find solutions to but take heart. i can assure you that God and his words in the bible, will direct you to finding the answers you need. to know more about how to live successfully through christ log onto…knowingjesuspersonally.com or click talk to a mentor above. i pray jesus confort your heart today in knowing that no matter how dark a night in a life may be, jesus shines

  • saveme says:

    everyone knows but no one wanted to take the steps and i am just too….done with everything

  • Chris says:

    patricia….there are many things in this world that can try to make us sad but through a personal relationship with God and finding promises in the bible we can cling to, we can overcome depression. the first main and biggest problem we all have is our sins seperating us from chris but he died to remedy that situation. as you address your primary need, having your sins forgiven and receiving christ into your heart for your salvation, your other problems will have a solution through your faith in Gods promises. to know more about knowing jesus personally as your lord and savior, log onto…knowingjesuspersonally.com or click talk to a mentor above. i pray that jesus would comfort your heart today so that you can all of your sadness was carried upon him for you at the cross. today you can be free in him!

  • patricia says:

    What do I do if I cut myself of depression…I so don’t want to cut myuself any longer.the last time I cut myself was yestrday

  • Chris says:

    morrison…i am saddened to hear of your girl friend. sometimes people look for ways to handle their problems and find that cutting gives them some relief. we know however, from the bible, that God has an answer to all of our needs. he wouldnt put us here on the earth only to have us fend for ourselves without him being there for us would he? yet, even the bible says, that Gods people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge. why is that? i believe because they are ignorant of all the many hundreds of Gods promises available to us to confront any situation we may face. of course, to experience these promises, we must receive the one who bought and paid for them for us and that person is jesus christ when he died on the cross for us. i would encourage you first, for yourself, establish a relationship with jesus. you can find out more on how to do that by logging on at knowingjesuspersonally.com or clicking talk to a mentor above. once you know jesus, you can share his life with your friend and you both can enjoy Christian fellowship together. i pray just that now as you open your heart to Gods message to your life, that your heart would be soft and open to the voice of the holy spirit and you would come to know the one who died to give you an abundant life and for those whom you love as well in jesus name amen!

  • Morrison says:

    Hey this was very helpful info for me to use for my girlfriend. This was the most helpful for me because she is a cutter and I am just trying to find out ways to help her stop all this madness. Cutting has been a real problem for her in her life. So I am just trying to do everything within my power to help her soul, heart, and life. I can feel the pain of people who have been through this or heard that their friend does this, its awfully stressful. But you need to have a strong soul and heart to do all of this for your loved ones. So If anyone reads this and hears my call, always have hope for love, never lose it. If you do, you will not succeed fully in life, hope is the key to immortality.

  • Shelley says:

    Dear Father God.

    I am sorry Krissy about Your life and am glad that You are on your own, but just remember that the Lord God is with you everyday and that he loves you very much and knows all about you, because he loves you.

  • krissy says:

    What has jesus done for me. Took away my baby brothers sisters my real mother. Left me in a frickin house where u cant trust no one. Im tiref of having god shoved down my throat. WHERE WAS HE WHEN I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL CAUSE I COULDNT EAT WHERE WAS HE WHEN MY SIBLINGS DIED NOT WITH THEM THATS FOR DAMN SURE, he wasmt there whenI was banned from even seeing or talkimg with remaining brothers before the marines amd Ir force rook them
    who do I trust. Quite frankly no one cause they tell the people I dont want knowing
    I think im doing pretty well on my owm so far
    what does cutting do?
    it clears my head numbs the bad feelings so I can be the parent to my step mom and dad and my cutting friends, helps me from punching the kids who cause me to cry every day in the damn bathrooms at the tech school and high school I go tl

  • Chris says:

    Karen obrien…i am sorry to hear the news about your two sons. being a Young person today in a society that isnt as Christian as it once was is going to be challenging for our youth and for the parents. helping the younger generation not repeat our mistakes is key for them to live happier lives. the book of proverbs is filled too with practical wisdom on how to deal with problems they are facing even today. one mistake so many Young people make is feeling they need a girlfriend in high school years because most others seek for that and yet they are simply asking for emotional trouble since the maturity factor isnt present to sustain a mature relationship and its simply not Gods time for that. encourage your younger son to obstain from seeking a girlfriend and waiting for his adult years for christ to bring him his mate. meantime encourage him also to be in a youth group at a Christian church where he can have emotional and spiritual support for his life. settingcaptivesfree.com has a course to help with cutting called…in his image. you can check that out too to help your son as you dedícate yourself to prayer and fasting as you can on his behalf. its never too late to bring offspring before the throne of grace and glory of jesus christ in faith as hebrews 4.14 to 16 says we can. can you see how you can break any tendency your sons may be duplicating from your youth? its important that we do that by faith in jesus and his promises for our children. prov 22.6 confirms that by teaching a child in the way he should go that when he is older he wont depart from it. . .i pray now the great shepherd of the sheep, jesus christ, mold, perfect, heal and save totally your sons and family so that you all can rejoice in Gods goodness and grace to live happily in the God of our salvation by living wholely within the precepts he teaches us to live in jesus name amen! if you would like more attention on your issues just click…talk to a mentor…at the top of this web page. blessings!

  • Karen Obrien says:

    My sixteen year old son has been cutting, im worried cause he recently came out, . First off we are Christian, so this issue was hard for for us, but I love my son regardless of his preference. But I raised him christian and he knows the bible and god..
    Im just broken for him. I understand why he does it but , I struggle cause my child years, adolescents was so much worse and at times I thought I wouldnt survive the pain or loneliness but it made me tough. But we talk about almost anything. He tells me things I wish he wouldnt but im glad he comes to me. I explained to him that being a teen is hard enough even more so now a days. They are exspected to grow up so fast. And serious relationships our hard and confusing enough as a teen , believe me I know . At 16 I met my high school sweetheart, at 18 , 2 weeks after I graduated I was pregnant. And when our son was 7 months the father went to Folsom prison for 2 years. And I could go on.
    My 20 year old son tried to commit suicide 6 months ago , was incubated, and un conscious for 2 days. Ive been with my husband since my eldest was 2 we have given them a nice loving , practical life. The worst was three years ago when economy put a hardship on our family. And besides a job here or there we have struggled but there fed clothed and unconditionally loved. More than they know. My 16 yr old says he is greatful for having us as parents, his friend tell me they hear good things about me from my son. Im extremely close with my three boys. Ive tried to give them what I didnt have.
    What am I doing wrong. Are family is nowhere perfect . But we are closer than alot of families I know. He has talked to a counsler. What else can I do. Kids cut when I was in school. But they did it for reasons , id probably cut for too. I did it twice when I was date raped at 14. But that was it. I never told anybody. I made it through. Any suggestions.

  • Chris says:

    Philip…you might refer your friend to settingcaptivesfree.com and their course, HIS IMAGE, to help with overcoming the desire to cut. we pray in jesus name above all, that his grace comes to your friend and gives him or her freedom from not only the cutting but whatever problem he or she has that is causing such frutsration and anxiety at this time in jesus name amen

  • Philip Holshouser says:

    Hi my name is Philip…
    I myself am not cutting but a person I care about is and I want to know how to help…
    I am a junior firefighter and have run calls and seen people in pain but that was external pain… I Know Jesus said help the least of these but I don’t really know how to help…

  • Lauren Jamie says:

    Hi Krissy, I can see you have a lot of pressures on you. It must be really hard to keep calm with all the other things swirling around you like that. There have been a lot of resources shared that could be helpful to give you some perspective on your life right now (one story from the site that Chris referred you to that I find really encouraging is http://powertochange.com/iamsecond/something-to-live-for).

    Are there people in your life that you talk to about this, or that you could talk to? Any trusted teachers or school counselor who you would feel alright about talking to?

    You talked about being a ‘good Christian girl’. What do you mean by that? How would you describe the impact that Jesus had on your life back then?

    How do you feel about your cutting? In what ways does it help/hinder you in life?

    I hope you don’t mind, but I would like to pray for you. I have found in my life that when I talk to God He does help guide me. I am sure that you will find that true for yourself as well.

    Dear Jesus, I pray for Krissy. Thank You for the sensitive heart that you have given her, how she feels things so deeply. I know that can be hard to handle when there is so much pain and confusion around, but at the same time it makes her such a warm person to be around. She needs You help Lord to know what to do with those emotions that she has and how to keep from hurting herself to quiet down the things she feels so deeply. Bring people around her who can support, care and encourage her. I pray that she would find You to be a big part of that help and comfort. Guard her from seriously hurting herself. Amen.

    I look forward to hearing back from you Krissy.

  • Chris says:

    krissy…perhaps if you check out iamsecond.com, you might find some video-testimonies to help you with your personal issues, knowing that others have and are going through similar circumstances. jesus bless you. he loves you!

  • krissy says:

    Mrs/ms Kate
    I havent and my phone is currently in the shop cause I threw it at my mother for insisiting that I pretend to be another girl text my brothers girlfriend amd break them up and then got screamed at for telling her off. Then had my door taken away for disrespect. This explains why I am the wack job I am.

  • Kate says:

    Hi Krissy, maybe you got a chance to check out the Door of Hope 4 Teens website?

  • Donna says:

    FYI: Door of hope 4 teens is a free texting hotline that provides support no matter where you live in the USA and Canada
    visit the site for more info and the hours they are open http://www.doorofhope4teens.org

  • krissy says:

    Dear mrs/ms. Kate
    I will try. No promises. Got caught cutting by mom and grandpa and they were clam/calm I on the other hand was bleeding and wanted to party. And indeed I partied

  • Kate says:

    Hi Krissy,

    I wonder if you can imagine seeing things from a different perspective. For example, if you were talking to an 8-year old kid who was having feelings like yours, what advice might you give the kid? Or if you imagine yourself as a kind old grandmother, what would the grandmother say?

    If you can separate yourself from your very real, very intense feelings for a few minutes, maybe you can get some relief. The thing is, we face many very real, very terrible situations and circumstances. Coping with everything is really very difficult. The deeper we are in the situation, the harder it can feel to pull ourselves out. It feels like we are stuck in a deep well. Maybe imagining ourselves outside the situation can help === pretend you are the helper, instead of the one trapped. As the helper, what ideas or solutions or things can you try, instead of feeling completely stuck?

    Another thing that I find useful is closing my eyes to picture God in my situation. I remember one time I was freaking out, totally furious, ready to do something violent or terrible…. and I stopped myself for a second, took a breath, and then asked myself “Where is God at this moment?” Then I had a picture in my mind that God was with me, that He was holding me in the palm of His hand, that His face looked kind and caring, that He cared about me. It wasn’t like everything got fixed or there was some big miracle around me, but I was calmed down. Maybe you know what I mean.


  • krissy says:

    Usy but seriously im dying here

  • krissy says:

    I can honestly say that if jesus is real I know yer b

  • Chris Landwerlen says:

    krissy…jesus can be your best friend in any and all situations. he has proved his friendship to me for 40 years and has never failed me yet! blessings!

  • krissy says:

    Should I even try? Its not going to stop the destruction, I literally stood at the bridge thinking about jumping, but fortunately a dog walkers dogs grabbed my attention. But next timw im out and as always alone whats going to stop me from ending it all

  • Chris Landwerlen says:

    krissy…you might check some online churches…lifechurch.tv, glorystone.tv, onlinechurch.com. blessings!

  • krissy says:

    None the less my view of the church wont change unless there is an act of god. Totally and compeletely bitter amd angry over this.

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