The Art of Couple’s Relationship

Are You a Codfish or a Catfish?

According to sources, there are some people in the fishing business who regularly transport live codfish from Boston across the country for sale.  They found that because of the distance traveled, the codfish were almost unconscious by the time they reached their destination.   These businessmen were pretty wise, though.  They tried putting catfish, the codfish’s natural enemy, inside the tanks with them.  That strategy worked well as the codfish stayed alert throughout the trip to guard against their enemies.

When we reflect back on this story, we can’t help to ask ourselves a question.  Are we the codfish or the catfish? Maybe we are both.  In our lifelong journey, maybe we are like these codfish.  We are traveling from the east coast to the west coast, from our birth to death on a road that will be the same over and again.  Just eating, drinking, and sleeping everyday.  Are you living in a very comfortable, peaceful and stable environment? The result can be living a lifeless life without any spark.  Hence we desperately need the catfish character playing a part in our life.

Alaskan Boar

Married couples sometimes see this codfish story played out in real life. But if you think it over, having a “catfish” in your life is actually a blessing from God.  Without a doubt, it is not easy for two people with different personalities, perspectives, and backgrounds to live together under the same roof.  You’ll need lots of love, faith, and patience to make it work.  Some people like to use the example of the Alaskan Boar to portray the relationship of married couples.

During the winter, the boars have to stay close together to keep warm.  Yet the edges of their fur are sharp enough to hurt each other.  They have to learn to adjust themselves so they can share body warmth without hurting each other.  They can only survive the cold together.  Doesn’t this sound like the typical couple?  Can’t live with each other and can’t live without them either.

Some experts point out that the principles of marriage are rapidly losing ground in today’s society.  The divorce rate continues to rise, and many people are pessimistic about marriage.  Even “perfectly matched” couples can’t guarantee that their married life will be a pleasant one.  I believe there are three primary reasons for what’s happening today.  First, couples don’t truly understand each other.  Second, they lose sight of the reasons and the will to keep the marriage intact.  And finally, they have unrealistic expectations for the marriage.

The Hippo and the Butterfly

Some people use Hippoes and butterflies to illustrate the differences between men and women. According to research, women and men use language to function differently.  Both men and women use it to describe objective facts and information.  But women also use it to express their thoughts and passions.  It is very natural for women to talk.  Talking is as important as breathing for women.  However, it is not the case for men as they often need some training before they can begin to open up about how they feel.  Men by nature like to use logic to analyze, to prove something, and favor practical things and facts.  Women like to use impressions.

Men like to be respected, trusted, admired, accepted, and encouraged.  Women like to be cared for and loved, appreciated, confirmed and admired.  Men measure success by power and the tangible assets they have.  Women give emphasis to relationships, activities and their social circle.  Most men feel a sense of achievement after taking their wedding vows because they have successfully accomplished their goal.  That’s not what the wives have in mind.  They are still waiting for the husbands to fulfill their promises, and love them for the rest of their lives.

When the going gets tough for men, they tend to solve their problems by using their hands or finding a place to be alone.  By contrast, women are more vocal and prefer to share their problems with others.  Consequently, husbands and wives should accept each other’s own way in handling problems.  Husbands need to listen, and wives need to take it easy.

It’s no walk in the park for a man and a woman to really know each other.

Before walking down the aisle, the differences between partners may be attractive; however, this “difference” can become an assassin to a marriage later on.  It is critical for couples to really know each other and accept their differences.    Steps couples can take to protect their marriage are:

1. Learn to appreciate each other.
2. Use lots of love to accept each other.
3. Develop an admiration for each other’s strength.
4. Work together and realize the power of synergy.
5. Load the family with an abundance of love.

Indeed, codfish have problems getting along with catfish in the trip, but in the end the codfish benefited from the catfish’s presence.  It was no doubt a blessed journey.  Similarly, God established the family as the most fundamental group in the society.  Family is where the joy comes from, it is a refuge to retreat to.  What could be more of a blessing than a couple having a sound relationship?

Are you tired of fighting with your husband everyday?  Are you thirsty for a genuine love?  Do you want to know if your dream can ever come true? Through your sincere prayers, you’ll receive this kind of love from God right away.  And as your life changes from continuing the relationship with God, your marriage can gain the momentum it needs for a turnaround. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of woman you want me to be.

Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised. If you invited Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.

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