Gifts to One Another
This is part 6 of an eight part series – Reflections for a Bride
There may come a day in your marriage when you find something that amused you or intrigued you about your husband now is an irritant. How on earth is a girl to respond? Is there something you can do to fix the problem? Should you?
Does this relationship have a return policy?
As you start out on this journey called marriage, have you considered the idea of gifts? Oh, there are shower gifts and wedding gifts, I suspect. I wasn’t thinking of those, not this time. I’m talking about something more personal. As God has drawn the two of you together, and as you enter into covenant with one another as husband and wife, there is a real sense in which God is giving this man to you, and giving you to this man.
Have you received him as a gift? God knows so well what you need, what you enjoy, and the ways He wants to work in and through your life. This man will have a huge impact on you in the years ahead. There may be days when you wonder if he’s the enemy. Keep in mind, dear one, that there is an enemy, but this man is not the enemy. He’s a gift to you.
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You are a gift
Sometimes the harder part is to realize, deep down, that God has chosen you as a gift to this man. He didn’t create you as a mirror image of the man you love, for you bring a different personality, different talents, different dreams. Dare I challenge you, bring all of you to this marriage! When God created Eve and brought her to Adam, the Word says she was a helper “fit” or “meet” for him. She was designed for this man, and together they would be far more than either would be alone. You are the one that God created, prepared and now wants to give to this man. Don’t try to be someone else, for if you’re successful in wearing someone else’s shoes, you’ve not brought the most precious gift, yourself.
Oh, dear one, you are being given to one another, but ultimately you have been created for God, for His pleasure. If you’ve placed your faith in Him, you belong, first and foremost, to your Savior. You’ve been bought with a price. Rejoice over the truth that you have been created by and for God, and receive with gratitude and an open heart the gift God has given to you.
Learn to respond in love
If the thing that is annoying you is just difference in personality between you, celebrate it. Thank God for the man He created, and ask for His help in understanding him. There were likely several differences between you that drew you together. Talk about them, and seek some resolution if necessary, so they are not ongoing irritants to both of you.
As you respond to other imperfections or irritants, consider your options. You may choose to cover it with love, simply forgiving it and letting it go. Forgiving can sometimes seem impossible. It may well be impossible without God’s help; remember, though, how often He has forgiven you. Once forgiven, let it go. Don’t keep the offense in the kitchen drawer, ready to pull out and use against him time and again.
Under construction?
Yet another valid and godly response is to confront in love. Paul challenged the early believers to “speak the truth in love.” Perhaps that “wart” you see is a blind spot for your husband. A word at the right time, with a loving attitude, may make a huge difference.
We aren’t called to fix or change those around us, even husbands. As has been stated so wisely, “There is a God, and I’m not Him.” Bathe the issue in prayer, lovingly share your concern with your husband. Blessed is the couple who can share with one another openly, speak honestly and together create an environment of mutual acceptance, love and growth.
Being able to love unconditionally comes from knowing that you are loved unconditionally yourself. Do you know how much God loves you? In the Bible it says that God loves the world so much that He sacrificed His most precious thing – His only Son – so that we could have a relationship with Him. God wants to be your source of strength and the glue that bonds your marriage together. Have you ever made a personal commitment to let Him take control of your life?
You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:
Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.
Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.
Next: Learning to Live with One Another Without Losing Myself
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