But if you have blocked out the voice of the Holy Spirit who has asked you to do something, stop doing something or something like that, you will not be able to hear what God is saying to you in other situations. I love sleeping with fresh air blowing in from the window but at certain times of the year sea lions from a nearby beach make a horrible racket in the early hours of the morning. So I throw a pillow over my head so I can’t hear the seals anymore. But then, when my alarm goes off I can’t hear it anymore because there is a pillow over my head. Now if the Spirit of God has convicted you of a sin in your life that you do not want to deal with, you metaphorically, throw a pillow over your heart so that you can’t hear him talk to you about that area of your life. But now you can no longer hear the Holy Spirit at all. Now you have this feeling of being distant from God and wondering why He doesn’t show His love to you. What you don’t realize is that He is showing His love but the pillow over your heart doesn’t allow you to receive it.

So you need the Spirit of God’s help to get that pillow off of your heart. You need to ask Him to show you again the thing that He has asked you to deal with. Maybe it is a bitter, unforgiving attitude towards your parents. Maybe it is an unwillingness to apologize to someone that you have been hurtful towards. Maybe it is a spirit of religiosity that seeks to follow ritual rather than walk with God personally. These are only guesses because I don’t know you well enough to know for sure. But if you ask the Spirit to show you what part of your life you have ignored Him and then when He shows you what it is, repent and ask for His help to turn it over to Him, you will have taken that pillow off your heart and the words of God and His love will come flowing into your life.

This may be an exercise you could do with a godly mentor or Christian brother from your small group. Having someone to walk through this with you will give you support in discernment and in prayer.

Does this make sense?

That same truth is seen in relationships time and again: people’s fears of committing make their attempts at relationship half-hearted at best and they end up getting hurt which in turn becomes a reinforcement of their original fears. I know that in many cases commitment to a human is risky because people are fallible and act selfishly which is hurtful in a relationship. But a commitment to God has none of those risks. He asks for a lot from us and sometimes allows us to go through hurtful situations but He never deals with us selfishly or cruelly. He helps us through all difficult situations and never leaves us. When we fully commit ourselves to His care, authority and forgiveness there is never any regret and we experience the fullness of His love in our lives.

As you describe your disappointment with your relationship with God I can only see one answer: you have not fully committed yourself to following God and His direction for your life. I can’t say where you are holding back but I am certain that if you ask the Holy Spirit to point it out to you He will. The question is will you be open to what He has to say? I have met others who have expressed similar experience (or perhaps more accurately the lack of experience) and there have been some common components. Usually there has been a situation in the past that has been very hurtful. In response to that situation the person has developed a distrust of God saying, “How can I trust God when He allowed that to happen to me?” It sounds like that may have been your experience as well. Another common component of people’s stories is that there has been something the God has asked of that person that they have been unwilling to follow Him in obedience in that area of their lives. That has begun a pattern in their lives of hardening their heart against the Holy Spirit’s instruction. Both of these things become killers in our relationship with God because we never fully commit to relationship with God.

Asking someone to go through this process with you and the Holy Spirit can be very helpful. We are called to carry one another’s burdens and through that fulfill the law of Christ to love one another. You could talk to a trusted Christian friend, your pastor or connect with one of our online mentors (you can find the Mentor Request Form at http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor).

Roy, I am not trying to be hurtful or condemning in this (believe it or not) but there is no other explanation for what you describe. God’s love is an undeniable reality because it is based on His character. He has gone to great lengths to extend His love to all of us, including you. His consistent promise is that He loves everyone He has created and offers to everyone the opportunity of experiencing that love. It is a defamation of God’s character to accuse Him of withholding His love from you. If that were true it would prove that God is a liar and therefore not at all worthy of our worship and obedience. For me that is great hope because that means you do not need to be trapped in this feeling of no connection with God. You can indeed have the passion and love that is waiting to delight you.

Lord God I ask that You would help Roy discern where in his life he has turned his back on Your instruction and built this lack of trust. I am sure it will be a painful process for him but I know that You will be with him and bring comfort through the process. As Roy repents of those things Lord I pray that You would pour out Your love into his life and fill him with the joy of knowing You in an intimate real way. And as You transform his relationship with You begin to transform his relationship with his wife and children and his family. Heal the hurts there and bring new life and vitality to their love for one another. I know this will take a miracle but I know that You are more than able to accomplish and so much more. You are the Almighty God that has proven again and again that You love to bless us Your people. Pour out that blessing into Roy’s life Lord. Amen.

“I pray, Father, that out of your glorious riches you may strengthen me with power through your Spirit in my inner being, so that Christ may dwell in my heart through faith. And I pray that I, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge–that I may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all I ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within me, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. [Adapted from Ephesians 3:16-21]
Keep praying this prayer until you grasp the reality and the wonder of knowing that God truly loves you!”
I respect your opinion. You seem to me to be a sincere, Godly person.

Comfort is somewhat different but in many ways is the same. God promises to care for us, to protect us, to comfort us. If we believe what He says, that will bring us comfort. If we don’t believe what He says we don’t receive any comfort. If we believe, that belief brings comfort. It is the same if a friend tries to comfort us. They say, “It will get better. I am here for you.” If we believe them we are comforted. If we don’t we feel angry that they let us down. The fact that we can see the other person may help us believe their words, but God’s promise that He is with is just as certain as if you literally saw Him next to you.

If you are looking for a supernatural encounter like a burning bush or something, you may be disappointed. God does sometimes reveal Himself like that but for most of us the encounters are just as real but with less visual evidence. You ask that God say your name; the Bible says your name is written in the palm of His hand (Isaiah 49:16). You ask that God fill you with is love; the Bible says “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us,” You ask that God tell you something that He likes about you; the Bible says that you reflect the glory of God Himself (2Corinthians 3:18). All of your life Roy, God has been showing, telling and giving His love to you. You are His adopted son, chosen from before the beginning of the world. He has given His infinite self to you. If you believe what He says, what more could you ever want?!

You say that knowing is not enough, does that mean you have never experienced the love of God in His provision, His comfort, His salvation and His people? The ‘knowing’ you are talking about is information, but ‘knowing’ it means acknowledging that it does come from God and reveling in His expressing His love to you.

Too bad we don’t have several words for love, like the Greeks do.

The other one i have been told about is “hessid”, which is supposed to be the equivalent of the Hawaiian “aloha”.
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funny thing is, i was actually searching for a nutrition website, to find out what happens to humans if they try to live on chocolate alone. your site is even better.
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is there a church in BC which i can visit if i ever get up there (from Houston)? i expect to be in seattle in the next 2 years, to visit family – how long would it take to drive from there to your location?

BTW, about my name, “Clear Lake” is that part of Houston where NASA sits. i work in the area.

thanks,

RJC