Handling the Holidays
How do you feel about the holidays? Are they difficult ones for you as a single? Or do you look forward to them with excited anticipation?
Whichever emotion is attached to the holidays for you, or something on the spectrum in between, I’d like to offer an encouragement to focus on something and someone beyond those feelings.
Jeremiah, one of the single men in the Bible, had to do this to get beyond his despairing thoughts and feelings. Perhaps you can identify with some of them which were recorded in the third chapter of Lamentations in the Bible:
I became the laughingstock of all my people; they mock me in song all day long.
Many singles know what it’s like to be the brunt of relatives’ and friends’ thoughtless comments and jokes during holiday get-togethers. Perhaps this wasn’t what made Jeremiah a “laughingstock”, but his feelings must have been similar.
I have been deprived of peace . . . My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord.
How many present-day singles feel this way, too! A painful breakup or divorce may have robbed you of some of your “splendor” this year. Perhaps it was the death of a spouse that deprived you of your peace. It may be that you had hoped and prayed that this would be the year that the “right one” came along.
But listen to what else Jeremiah had to say:
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him.
It is with this same confidence that we can face the holidays with joy, not focusing on what we don’t have, but on what we do have. We receive many gifts in life–our talents and abilities, health, friends, family. How many gifts are you grateful for this year?
Singleness may not be your ideal, but the holidays can still be a time for celebration. Remember the gifts you have been given. And remember that you can have as your Companion one whose compassions never fail and whose faithfulness is great.
You can learn more about knowing Jesus personally and understand more about what it means to be a Christian and how you can grow in your relationship with Him.
© 1999 Fern Horst. Originally published at Purposeful Singleness (www.singleness.org) and reprinted by permission.
I know all those verses and they are my hope, my only hope, but oh, Christmas is soooo hard along; I’m so tired of not having a partner to hold, to cook for, to talk to… I’m a “people person”. I will make it through all this again, I have for many years, and I know it God’s grace. But…right now….it’s a sad time…
To be honest – & I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad – the holidays have never been an issue for me as a single person. I’ve always had my family (parents; brother &, since 2003, sister-in-law) to be with, & that’s a good thing. I have many friends who’d take me in with them & their families without a second thought, & that’s a very good thing to know. Yes, there are times when it’d be so wonderful to have a man with me for certain events, but I’ve found that it’s other people who make much more of my singleness & imagine it to be a hardship than I do. People who really know me don’t bother me about that. Well, most of the time. Sometimes there’s teasing, of course, but I know that’s all it is & not meant to be nagging or cruel. People who really & truly know me have realised that I’m really content where I am & that I’ve committed myself to leave the pining & longing behind & look to God for my comfort & companionship at the deepest level. Since I decided that, things have been much easier attitude-wise. I thank God that I’m no longer in a state of constant longing for that elusive man, who, to be honest, may never come my way. While it does bother me at times when I think about it, overall I’m perfectly happy where I am & am actually kind of glad most of the time that I’m independent & free. Friends tell me that they admire me for this, & that’s a huge help, too. :D