Rebuilding Trust

Written by Lynette Hoy NCC, LCPC

Has your trust been broken? Talk to a mentor today.

One of my clients once asked me what it means to trust another human being. She wanted to know how she should react when a spouse or significant other is dishonest, inconsiderate or having an affair. She wondered if it is possible to rebuild trust in someone who disappoints us greatly.

What does trusting someone signify?

Trust, in a practical sense, means that you place confidence in someone to be honest with you, faithful to you, keep promises, vows and confidences and not abandon you. Here are some factors to consider about trust. Trusting another person requires a realistic perspective about people and an expectation of failure. Trust needs to be combined with a willingness to forgive and grows best in an environment of acceptance and love.

There’s no magic machine, you don’t put in a quarter and out drops a can of trust — trust grows over time. People are complex, broken beings therefore, previous hurts, fears or losses can impede their determination to trust and/or be truthful in a relationship. But, people have the capacity and the ability to change and to grow in trust and truthfulness. You can rebuild trust in broken relationships when you make a choice to do so with the supernatural help of God.

Adjust your expectations

Love & God
A Conversation about Love & God
Has love betrayed you? Is it preventing you from believing that you are a human being who is loved by God? You are intelligent, beautiful, loved, and not alone.

People are human, frail, and sinful. Therefore, you need a realistic type of trust when you choose to trust someone. Trusting grows in relationships over time because as you spend time together with someone you build knowledge, understanding and authenticity. You gain insight into another person’s character, needs, motivations and fears.

Unconditional love develops trust because as you express this kind of love towards someone — generally he or she will sense your acceptance and feel comfortable to be vulnerable and honest about their feelings. Unconditional love actually builds self-esteem in others and alleviates their fears of rejection. People learn that they can be authentic with you about their feelings, opinions, and failures. The result is a growing trust in the other person. Not because that person is perfect but because that person is growing in honesty.

Unconditional love is patient and kind

It is not self-seeking. It does not keep a record of wrongs. When love is not patient or enduring; when love is unforgiving and always disappointed or looking for something to go wrong, it generates fear and looks for imperfections in the other person. Fear-based love is conditional creating an atmosphere of distrust, dishonesty and instability.

You can have a limited trust in people as you grow to know them and they see you really care about them but the fact is that people will let us down. That is reality. Obviously, when someone has broken their vows and been unfaithful, has lied or been dishonest in the relationship, they need to change. You can make some requests for change and take the risk of starting over again. Get counseling and pastoral guidance. You can find a counselor or go to the nearest mental health center. If you are suicidal please contact 911 (in the USA & Canada) or go to a hospital emergency room.

If that person is not sincere about changing and continues to lie or betray you, then, you need to consider whether to end the relationship.

Take a look at yourself as well

You will never be perfect and therefore, you will probably disappoint your loved one as well. You can promise to never say something hurtful or never tell a lie or never exaggerate or always keep your promises or (you name it) but since you are human you will also make mistakes and disappoint that person. The only thing you or your loved one can promise is to grow, to seek God and ask Him for strength to change. Then you and your loved one will become more trustworthy in your relationships, though you will never be perfect.

Every human relationship will suffer hurt. Thus, we all need to become better forgivers and confessors. That ability to reconcile and spirit of humbleness will prove the depth of your love and commitment.

The components of love, forgiveness and commitment are as necessary to trust in a relationship as is honesty. Forgiveness gives you the chance to start over and trust another fallible human being again. Love helps to nourish trust. Commitment and honesty provide accountability to one another.

The ability to forgive is rooted in being forgiven ourselves. In the Bible it says that God loves the world so much that he sent his only son so that we could be forgiven. As people we all make mistakes, not one of us can live up to the standard God set on our own. But God promises that if we accept what Jesus did for us, we can be forgiven. The slate can be wiped clean no matter what has happened in the past. God promises us strength for today and bright hope for the future. Whatever happened in your yesterdays God can take care of all of your tomorrows.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Saviour and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of woman you want me to be.

If this prayer expresses the desire of your heart, pray it right now and Christ will come into your life as He promised. If you invited Jesus Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.


541 Responses to “Rebuilding Trust”

  • Doris Beck Doris Beck says:

    My first question would be, ‘how old is Colby’? If he is an adult, the question is more about regaining his trust so you can be friends again, not about regaining his mother’s trust. However if he is underage, then you were out of line to have called his mother for free tickets and you will need to abide by her wishes to stay away from him.

    Rebuilding trust is like putting deposits in a bank account. You have to do it make those deposits repeatedly before the balance builds up and that’s what you will need to do in either case. Show that you are trustworthy and won’t abuse or misuse the friendship.

  • Terry says:

    Hi: I have lost the trust of a co-worker,s mother.
    I called to see if I can get free tickets to a
    hockey because a friend of mine is a volunteer.
    using his name to get the free tickets was not
    the best idea. my friend has been volunteering
    since he was 5 years old! he was worried he was
    going to be fired over that but he still has it.
    Joanne, his mother was furious, so I sent her a
    letter of appology and told Colby I was sorry
    for what I did. Joanne has now said I am to stay
    away from Colby because she is worried about his
    safety. I have worked with the guy for 2 years
    and his mother knows I would never to any bodily
    harm to him. how do I regain her trust so Colby
    and I can be friends again?

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Gina, I am so glad to hear that you and your boyfriend are trusting in Jesus in your life and looking to Him for leading in your relationship. Let me encourage you to put your focus on listening to Jesus direct you. He will show you what is the best way to deal with the impact of your past choices. You can get all tied in knots trying to determine what is the best way forward because there are so many different opinions of what will work best. What I have discovered is that Jesus will lead into His plan for you as you focus your attention on knowing Him better. So continue to pray about your situation and ask for His direction. Make time to dig deep into the Bible and ask for Jesus to speak to you through that. Spend time with other followers of Jesus and look for the ways that He will speak to you through them.

  • Gina says:

    Your prayers mean so much to me , thank you. My boyfriend has been the one to reintroduce me to God and for that I am so grateful. We have a very spiral relationship because of our love for the lord. He is the center of our relationship. I’ve apologized for what I’ve done and right now my boyfriend has told me he needs time to heal so I’m trying to do my best to let him be although it is hard. I’m not sure if I should try contacting him or if I should continue to let him be. I praise the lord for healing his heart & for forgiving me for what I’ve done. I pray that the lord will mend our relationship and I trust that whatever plan he has for us will prevail . Amen

  • Sandy says:

    I feel that trust has to be earned, particularly when it has been broken over, and over again. Why is the focus of this on being good enough for someone to be honest with you? Where it the focus for the continual liar, and the importance of being a good and trustworthy person?

  • Shannon says:

    I lied to my boyfriend about something that may seem small and insignificant to others, but matters a lot to him. He confronted me about it, and I have apologised profusely and I have promised to better myself. Knowing that I have hurt him, and us, is a pain that consumes me every day. He is my best friend and the most important man in my life. He helps me become a better person. I sincerely and wholeheartedly will be honest about all matters with him, and I know that he means the world to me still. He’s trying to move on and forgive, but he’s stated that he does not trust me, and it’ll be hard for him to again. I appreciate that he’s still with me. I’m asking for prayers to help us recover from my mistake and to go forth stronger than before, to help me stay on the right path and honour God and my man, to give him the trust he needs to move on with me. Thank you and God bless.

  • Liz says:

    To Dreamer and all on this thread, Thank You :)

  • dream says:

    Liz… It looks like your husband truly repented from his adultery. You both should make sure that you repented from your sins and give your life to Jesus. God is good and he is able to restore your hurt souls. You know God can use this for good and after you will be healed in your souls you can be stronger in your relationship. Your husband sees now where he did mistake and next time he will know how to treat other woman – not to spend lot of time with them, not to be alone, not to open up to them and so on. He will know his boundaries. God bless you and heal your heart.

  • liz says:

    Hello Friends :)

    It is said that to a woman, an affair of the heart is the most brutal. I speak from experience… it is.

    Lord, I have faith in you & I believe I found this page for a reason, if only to tell my story. May my mind be open to receive the healing powers of this conversation thread. Amen.

    My relationship went through a major trial last year and though we are both trying, the fall out continues to affect our relationship..

    For 16 months, I shared my husband’s time and attention with a close female friend of his. She was in a different state during our 1st year together. It wasn’t until her return to town that things changed. My husband immediately started to spend more and more time away from home & alone with her. He & I had been all but inseparable up till then…. Suddenly my husband’s time and energy was increasingly being given to this “friend”. The priority he gave her in his life left me feeling abandoned and betrayed. THis went on for months, wreaking havoc on the security I once had in our union. I questioned everything now and became relentless about it. Struggling to make sense of it all, digging and spying, I felt more and more helpless. He argued that there was nothing funky going on and said I was out of line, after all she had been there for him all those years, that was his buddy, how dare I have a problem with it.

    Every “funky” thing I came across… conversations, pictures, etc… things that left my gut twisted in knots,,, was met with a denial, an explanation, and being told that I was the one out of line. I kicked and screamed more, and in doing so pushed him away… toward her, the very thing I was panicking over! Her place had become his “go to” place for escape from this formerly sweet, now nagging , relentless lady he loved…. And, more and more found unrecongnizable.

    Feeling more and more justified in spending his time and energies away from the crazy woman at home, our relationship fell into a downward spiral. Sometimes I wonder at the fact that we have made it this far, still together and wanting grow, together.

    In the end, he admitted to having sex with her once during that year. I believe it was more than once but, I will never really know. I understand how ashamed he feels now for having betrayed our love, and that it keeps him from revealing anything I don’t already know about his affair with her. To be honest, I don’t think I’d want to know at this point anyway… it’d probably do more harm than good.

    Giving into temptations of Carnal desire is much more easily recovered from than the knowledge that another woman held a piece of your man’s heart… if even for a minute. In that minute his heart was hers, not mine. THat painfull feeling is the one that lingers the longest.

    My husband has since given her the ax, apologizes to me often, has made major adjustments in his behaviors, and continually shows me how committed he is to us. I feel I have forgiven him, and have come to terms with most of it HOWEVER it does still hurt and still effects me… thereby affecting us. I am suspicious, need frequent reassurances and have a boldness toward him that I didn’t have before. My questions and doubts wear him out. (it’s been 6 month since his actual confession) He feels offended and is defensive. He feels I attack his character with these questions and doubts, and doesn’t understand it… after all he has made amends and changed his whole life for me. He proves himself to me every day.

    My husband does not understand why this all hasn’t been completely put to bed yet & feels like it just keeps dragging on. He fears it will never fade and that he has lost the girl he once knew forever. We both feel justified in what we feel but, we seem to be stuck. Things are different now. It is clear that we both need to accept our role in hurt feeling the other one suffered during this experience, and we need to truly forgive each other for that… we need to somehow let go of all defenses toward one another, allow ourselves to be vulnerable again, and give each other what we need in order to heal and move on from this once and for all.

    I don’t know what I am looking for here exactly but, I have faith that God will use whatever tools he feels fit to speak to me in his timeing, in his way.

    Blessings to you all.


  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Gina, it is a painful thing to have our mistakes brought out into the light. But at the same time, there is a relief of not having to hide anymore. Living honestly with one another is so freeing and builds great connection. I can understand why your boyfriend is hurt, and he will need to go through a process of healing. Don’t rush him, or try to minimize how you have hurt him. I have friends who had to deal with the infidelity of the wife and everyone was so quick to forgive and make it seem like there was no hurt. But after several years of stuffing the hurt and not addressing it, the husband had a deep bitterness that had consumed his love for her. The marriage again blew up and has never seen healing.

    I admire your emphasis on prayer and recognizing that God can make a difference in both your heart and his. Is that a conviction that both you and your boyfriend share? In what ways has God played a role in your relationship so far?

    Let me pray for you: Dear God, I pray for Gina and her boyfriend as they go through this difficult time of healing right now. A broken trust is a difficult thing to mend, and yet You are the master of doing miracles in the middle of our messes; I pray for that miracle to happen here. I pray that You would grab a hold of both their hearts and transform them into a unified whole again. I pray that You would guide Gina in knowing how to appropriately apologize for her infidelity and her deception. Help her boyfriend to honestly face the anger and hurt in his life and put it in Your hands to deal with. Don’t let him become resistant to trusting again, but give him freedom from becoming bitter. Amen.

    I look forward to hearing back from you Gina.

  • Gina says:

    I’ve been in a relationship with this man for 5 years. He recently found out I cheated on him during the first year we dated and I also lied about it. Lies an deceit have been poison to our relationship. The devil has been trying to take control but I refuse to let it happen any longer. I pray for forgiveness from the Lord for committing adultery and for also lying. I pray that the lord mends our relationship. I pray that we can having a loving relationship again and that my boyfriend’s heart can be healed. I also pray that he truly learns how to forgive me. He says he does but he is so bitter about what happened. Please pray for me.


  • Alfred says:

    : Hi Tom, Life is sometimes very hard! It seems to me that your marriage is over and you will continue to go through a grieving process. There will be times of denial, anger, hopelessness, resentment, and sorrow. Continue to lift it up to the Lord, for He alone will help you through. Eventually there will be more times of acceptance (that your former wife will never come back). May God help you daily to walk in His path for you, and may He give you joy. It is good that you family responsibilities, and there too the Holy Spirit will be your guide and your strength. Prayerfully yours, Alfred.

  • Tom says:

    Alfred, I found out last week that our divorce was finalized on June 16. I wasn’t mailed anything and didn’t go to court. I struggle every day fighting resentment and the tearing of the one flesh, the heart. She was only willing to meet me one time and that was just over a year ago. The Word says that if the unbeliever leaves (though she is a professing Christian), to just let them go. She has cut me out of her life and I can only move on and get stronger myself. We have two boys, and a precious grandson, that I need to be here for, if nothing else. I don’t know what God’s plan is for me, but I have to believe His will for covenant marriage and that He is working on her heart. May you be blessed in your stand.

  • Alfred says:

    Hi Tom, I commend you for keeping hope alive! It is you and I who must change first, and then our spouse, after seeing us in a new light (with God’s help) will hopefully change to give marriage a new chance. Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for helping us to see that we first need to take the log out of our own eye, and then help our partner and friend to take the splinter out of her/his eye. Jesus will judge us individually in the end. Till then, we pray that You help us to keep in tune with You, Lord. Amen.

  • Tom says:

    Jake, I understand that we all have free will, yet the battle isn’t against our spouses, but against Satan, who wants all marriages destroyed. If it’s a relationship that’s not a marriage, we need to pray and seek His will. Why do you think the women in your life need to look elsewhere? It sounds like you have some bitterness toward them, maybe toward God, but change starts within ourselves. The key is “Take a look at yourself as well”, as stated in the article. I’ve been married 29 years and refuse to give up on my wife or “move on”, even as the finalization of our divorce is any day now. No, I’m not blinded, I’m being obedient and trusting God to change my wife’s heart.

  • JAKE says:

    dont confuse rebuilding trust in love with rebuilding a business relatinship that can help you both not lose everything out of it That is where maybe the article is of value – but dont think you can rebuild love – LOVE is for free and those who have captured like a little bird in a cage, well, sometimes is kind of easy to lament yourself if you dont have a bird in a cage with a person to share – But when there is betrayal in a marriage, I think the important thing to take out of this article is the trust part about rebuilding the most essential parts that will help you both walk out of the castastrophe, especially when the kids are in the equation This you must both walk out of, or if not then you must walk out of and ignore the pain and resentment and now think about who else will be hurt if you are not a warrior of stength – also, if you are a warrior of stength and fortitude to move out of this withotu further destruction, the good news is you will never regret it If you go destroy everything, you will regret it Yeh it hurts, but you are not the first, and the trail, the only regrets I have had now years later is remember where I lost my cool The magnitude of the betrayal is yes, massive, its the only reason the bible permits you to divorce your wife – therefore, [expletive removed] massive scale magnitude betrayal hey, yeh, it hurts man, but keep your chin up, you must, for yourself, because you will never regret having kept your chin up and your will regret every other expression of the rest

  • JAKE says:

    You can not rebuild something that was free to begin with – where are you going to employee everyone, and get al the people and al the money and time to rebuild something that was free to begin with This article though was very valuable and the responses have been the most magnificant part of it Thankyou, I am finished now though, I have found my answer – I didnt go back to the cheating person, I left her All those still here, I neg you to leave them, life is too short, and you deserve to find true love

  • JAKE says:

    “its hard to rebuild trust but you are right Elkay it is possible with God thank you for your comments to Jake. God bless you. I am praying for you and Jake” – Shron, the fact you are still here commenting proves to me you are still not happy about about what happened to you – The jews of 5000 years wrote the Bible, and in it the only reason given you can leave your wife under the eyes of God and feel free of guilt is because she cheated on you and gave her vagina to another man – i wonder why, and here you guys are write this article, undoubtedly to serve your own self delusion that you can rebuild trust Trust is something that is given for free the first time you meet any man or woman You can not rebuild it after it has been betrayed You can rebuild something that was free to begin with

  • JAKE says:

    Listen, I recommend again read over all my comments here, I think the article is written by a couple who wants to pretend they can rebuild trust in a loving seual relationship and by getting other people to say yeh they had success in it, and then by them also using the terms of God, actually in the Bible the only reason you can divorce another woman in life is because she slept with another man So funny now how this article is trying to rewrite 5000 years of history about this, like forget the wisdom of the fact that unchanged they knew that actually you can not rebuild trust – at least I think you could form a business partnership and pretend to be in love

  • Sharon says:

    to Jennifer knight– I pray that you can rebuild trust with your husband eventually again I am praying for you

  • Jennifer Knight says:

    Thank you so much for this article. My husband and I have been married for about 3 months and recently he broke a commitment he made to me. This was the second time this happened and I am struggling with how to trust him again. Reading this made me cry because it is so honest and really gave me a better understanding of trust from both sides. God bless you and thank you so much for writing and posting it.

  • Sharon says:

    its hard to rebuild trust but you are right Elkay it is possible with God thank you for your comments to Jake. God bless you. I am praying for you and Jake

  • jake says:

    “frankly, Madam, I dont give a damn” – Shirt on your back, walk out and lever look back – that means never think about her, cancel her forever in your mind. There is no second chance for betrayal at that level. Walk away, take your losses with you (which with your dignity if you still have it will be about nothing but that actual shirt on your back).

    This blog is wrong wrong and wrong in the context of God. There is no second chance at that level, you were in bed with a devil. She betrayed you, you RUN, RUN RUN.

  • jake says:

    “throw her to the streets”, “leave witht he shirt on your back” – the shirt on your back is the last of whatever pride you had left with yourself after that betrayal.
    And the true of throw to the streets and leave with the shirt on your back combined, is a ironic something, I mean just run. That is another they say it. RUN. Get out, leave, and never look back. SHe betrayed you, go cry, you are not the first. (and I promise you, if you discovered an affair, HE is not the first one either, she is a slut of babylone – lets not get into abuse – as I said, leave with the shirt on your back and never look back)

  • Tom says:

    Bottom line is a heart problem, usually on the part of both parties. I am standing for my covenant marriage while God works in both our hearts. I will never “throw her to the streets”, as she choose to leave, but release my wife to God because it isn’t humanly possible to change someone else’s heart.

  • jake says:

    It has nothing to do with GOd. A woman who has thrown herself to the devil while in your bed – Throw her to the streets, leave her with the shirt on your back and never look back.

  • jake says:

    Elkay, have you ever listened to any of the 100s of hours of lectures of Alan Watt – maybe you should.

    Around that time I searched everywhere for hope to forgive here, and this blog actually got me to go and dive in and forgive her and I came out the fool not twice but 5 times.

  • jake says:

    “throw her to the street” – It is the kind of comment the boys in the gym you are lifting weights with, your mates, your slap you on the back and tell you.

    I am trying to help anyone reading this to avoid the pain i went through.

  • Elkay says:

    Jake, you are smart and right — I did not expect you to agree with me . . . at the end of your July 9, 2015 at 2:08 am blog, you said “If a woman betrays you, throw her to the street.” With that attitude, I can see why you do not think trust can be rebuilt but with God, nothing is impossible even after 5 failures. He cares about the people He created and “promises that if we accept what Jesus did for us, we can be forgiven”; when we truly realize how much we need His forgiveness, that helps us to choose to forgive.

    Please do not give up on God nor on yourself nor on a future wife . . . this may not be the place to delve into the complexities of Biblical marriage, but if you will study Genesis 1-2 carefully, you will find that marriage is not living merely for yourself nor for each other; it is two flawed creatures uniting and joining hands to serve God. I pray this strikes a positive chord with you.

  • Jake says:

    Elkay, Well, as you know from what I have already written, I dont and wont agree with you. I have been there and I read on every forum warnings from people that getting burnt the second time hurts more than even the first. Yes, because you found a way to forget it and move on with her and give her a second chance… But then burnt again – try burnt 5 times.

    The whole blog is wrong but it was good because it inspired and still is inspiring many people to respond.

  • Elkay says:

    Jake, the author, Lynette Hoy is honest about the difficulty of rebuilding trust that has been broken because broken trust bring anger, insecurity, anxiety, and fear into human relationships. But, it can be done if you want to badly enough and will make the commitment. Here’s the deal: Jesus told us that the Second Greatest Commandment was to love others as we wanted to be loved and in this context, loving others means putting their needs as being higher than your own, making what they need more important than your needs. Now, if someone has broken your trust, their need is for a trusting relationship to be to be restored . . . and so this is of a higher need than your feeling of betrayal. Jesus Himself gave us a wonderful example of this after Peter betrayed Him, denying that he even knew Jesus. Then, right after His resurrection, Jesus was specific that Peter be included in the group of disciples He was to shortly meet. And He singled Peter out to say love Me! We can do this same for He is with us and He lives in us and the Holy Spirit is ever-working to make us more like Him. This is what the author means when she says “people have the capacity and the ability to change and rebuild trust in broken relationships when you make a choice to do so with the supernatural help of God.” No, it will not be easy and will take time and commitment but it will one day be worth it.

  • JAke says:

    Is a functional alcoholic an alcoholic. You think you see relationships that successfully rebuild themselves after an affair – or do you just see two functional alcoholics.

    Its not possible to rebuild trust. By definition, your mind has said it was betrayed, it will never think otherwise. And you can not rebuild it. Its finished. Walk away, its your life to live, walk away – everyone knows how sad that story is, many people have lived through it.

  • JAke says:

    This article about forgiveness in the heart for betrayal, its the reason today the Christian world is being raped and pillaged.

    Have some dignity in your spirit. NO need for revenge. But turn your back and walk away with your shirt on it.

  • JAke says:

    And you can see other comments from JAKE here from 2 to 3 years ago, trying to reconcile it because my love had been ture – I tell you there is no way to rebuild trust, its like the worst choice you have now is to go back into that relationship. Cut it. And let the chidlren know that was why and why it was. Your partner chose to betray everything, to suicide the relationship. SO the relationshup is dead. There is no rebuilding trust, try as you will desperate love boy, its gone. Girl gone.

  • JAke says:

    I really dont think you can rebuild trust. In my life trust was something I give to every person I meet immediately unless then there are signals that I can not or should not trust this person.

    When it is a person you trusted so much without question that you shared a bed with them, and then they betray that in your mind, really how can you rebuild that greatest betrayal, everyone needs a life partner. If someone has betrayed that you can not ever rebuild that.

    We humans are like pigeons in that we need a life partner. I think one day if we study pigeons closer we will understand ourselves more.

    I had a life expereience once was the saddest day of my life. I had been designated for the worst job to clean all the pigeon crap out of a coop above a secondary school. The school had had a problem that pigeons were cooping in the attic. My company didnt know anything about the original workers contracted to solve the problem. But the solution had been the most obvious – to block every hole to the coup.
    Obviously none of the contracters had bothered to actually climb in there and get all the pigeons out before blocking their coup.
    And as I am cleaning up the coup mess, all the pigeon crap and feathers, (it was about 300m2, I come across two dead pigeons, a male and female. And they had lay down next to each other, touching each other, and died – having been locked in a tomb.

    I will never forget that.

    You can not rebuild trust. There is one life. And if your partner levied it on risks, he;she was looking to leave you. Then they fail to find a replacement partner and then come running back begging you for forgiveness and a second chance – there is no second chance in love. You were lucky to have found it in the first place.

    There is such thing as rebuilding trust. People who write this crap are themselves trying to convince themselves that there is such a thing. I feel sorry for them. Cut and run. If a woman betrays you, throw her to the street. End of story.

  • Sharon says:

    to Nancy oops it finished before I did- I pray all of this in JESUS name amen I am praying for you and your husband— sharon

  • Sharon says:

    to Nancy I am sorry of your struggles but I like your ending about encouraging others on what to do. prayer — father God I pray for Nancy for her I pray for a restoration of trust again bless her and be with her I pray all of this in

  • Nancy says:

    It will take time and maybe not ever the trust is broken. Trust always in the Lord and whatever his will be done. My husband has had a lot of emotional affairs, one with a lady of 8 months. He stares, lusting at younger, slender ones, and I have taken enough. He changes not and he says, SO What. He is a perfection man, self centered. I didn’t know all of this when i dated him, he was hiding his bad traits. To sat beside a man and let him lust after young ladies in front of him, watching them walk, took me to the point of walking out no matter where I am. We had 60.00 tickets and he lusted after a young mother, asking her to sat with us. He refuse to allow her to sat behind him. After an hour of him fussing with this lady. I just walked out. I refuse to go with him to live shows, church is out of it, he is staring at ladies, blondes usually. A lady has so many emotions when she has been hurt and hurt again and again. Her trust is gone with the man she married. Don’t give up on your spouse but give her breathing room, date her again if she will let you. Give her gifts but most of all , give her your time, patience and love for Christ.

  • Chris says:

    mduduzi….sorry you are struggling…its true that trust can be easily broken in a relationship. as fallen creatures with sinful tendencies, its so easy for us to fall into a spiritual traps of temptation. that is why first and foremost we need to establish a relationship with the one who died to free us from our sinful nature, jesus christ. i invite you to log onto or click talk to a mentor above to begin your relationship with christ today. only by being right with christ can we be right with others who also know him too. i pray jesus enlightens your undersanding and give you the knowledge of knowing and doing his will. if you already know jesus, continue to seek him for the right person he would have for you. Matthew 19. its his will and not ours that needs to be done on earth as it is in heaven. blessings!

  • MDUDUZI says:

    I realy need to be trusted by my girl friend and also regain her love.

    She has told me that she cant be in a relationship with me anymore.

  • Tom says:

    Brittany, I posted here last year and felt led to respond to your post. I had an emotional affair with a friend of my wife’s four years ago, thenMarch, then followed it with three years of being “checked out” on our marriage of almost 29 years. My wife finally had enough if my lack of input into our relationship and left last March, then followed it up with divorce papers in January. God has forgivin me, my wife hasn’t. I recommited my life to God and realize it’s all in His hands and there is NOTHING I can do but be obedient to Him, pray, and wait for restoration. That aside, your relationship with God is paramount right now and if you don’t have one, do it please! Satan is seeking to destroy families and he’s taken your husband captive to do his will–remember that! I would highly recommend Rejoice Marriage Ministries ( and seek out God’s will for your marriage!

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