What is Love?
Written by Serena Pay-Fen Wang, translated by Henry Tung
Is it love or just a relationship?
The Chinese culture is widely known to be on the conservative side. While it is fairly common to hear Americans saying “I love you” to family and friends, that seldom happens for the Chinese. For instance, I have no question in my mind that my parents truly love me, but I’ve never heard them actually saying it. Chinese people like to use the word “relationship” to express love, and even some of the most famous Chinese poems avoid using the term love. Nevertheless, “love” and “relationship” aren’t the same. We can have a relationship without love, but we can’t possibly have love without a relationship.
Can you tell me what love is?
If someone asked you to define love, how would you answer them? Well, different people may have different views on what love really is. People often use love as a way to express their emotion, something they like and became emotionally attached to. Or could love be that sensational feeling you’ve lingered for all your life?

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There was a famous poet in the Sung dynasty who married his childhood sweetheart. They loved each other very much and treasured their relationship till the end. The marriage was like one only made possible in heaven. You can also find plenty of love and romance in stories like Romeo and Juliet, but most of the time this kind of love only exists in fairytales.
Can you depend simply on feeling, or do you need will and determination?
Most people like to go with their feelings when it comes to love, but this kind of love is incomplete at best. Why? Because love goes much deeper than just your feelings. You must have the determination and will to love. It is easy for anyone to love a guy who is “Mr. Perfect”. But things change with time and you may find your Mr. Perfect may not be so perfect anymore.
Whether we like to admit it or not, our love is very conditional. And when the going gets tough, we will find it even tougher to love. We frequently hear complaints about that husbands have had a “change of heart”. Our husbands always fall short of our expectations because they don’t treat or talk to us the same way they did before. No more sweet talks from the husbands doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t love us any more.
Frankly, I never questioned the sincerity of the sweet talks I heard from my boyfriend before getting married. They were probably words straight from the bottom of his heart. But time can be the most ruthless assassin in many ways as the husbands may no longer feel the sweet talks are a priority. Love involves making wise decisions, and love requires lots of hard work and discipline. This is especially true after the marriage. Being sensitive and considerate to each other is just the starting point. Couples should work hard to make each other truly feel treasured, with affections being expressed in both actions and words on a regular basis. That would direct the marriage onto the right path.
The greatest regret you’ll ever have
Simply put, everyone needs love. Some say love can be the one thing that differentiates heaven from hell. That may very well be true, and maybe the greatest regret anyone will ever have is that they were loved by someone but didn’t even notice.
We are all looking for love, whether it is to love someone or to be loved. But the kind of love we typically find is a conditional one that will change or fade away. The one and only love that will never change is the love from our almighty God. Those turning away from God’s love will find themselves living in a world of disappointments, because they will never be truly fulfilled.
God loves us from the inside out. We know and believe that God is love. It’s a fact that will never change. God loves us unconditionally not because we are worthy, but because He chose to. God loves us so much, he even sacrificed His only son on the cross to save us from sin. If anyone failed to notice this love, will it be the greatest regret anyone will ever have?
Yes, you can have true love
Joy and satisfaction don’t come from hard work or good deeds. You can have all the power and money in world but still feeling sad and empty. True love and security come from building a good relationship with God. He not only loved me unconditionally, but also made me a stronger person from within. What about yourself? Do you need a boost of self-esteem? Are you searching for that true love? Well, look no further. Because by having a sound relationship with Jesus Christ, you’ll experience the love you’ve craved for all your life.
I know with my whole being that God loves me more than anyone else ever could– that He will never take His love away from me or disappoint me, that He will never die on me or go away. Jesus already died for me so that we could be reunited. He rose from the dead, He’s alive and His love for me is greater than anything I can imagine! I didn’t know I could love anyone so much!
Are you searching for your soul mate – for perfect love? Do you wonder if you will ever find fulfillment? You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:
Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Saviour and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of woman you want me to be.
If this prayer expresses the desire of your heart, pray it right now and Christ will come into your life as He promised. If you invited Jesus Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.