My Daughter Just Attempted Suicide
My 19-year-old daughter has been hospitalized because she has tried to commit suicide. This has not only created a moment of crisis with in our immediate family but a very big puzzling question. Why would a person who professes to believe in Christ would attempt to commit suicide? What should I say to her? How can I tell her that Christ is bigger than any of her problems may be?
Please know that I will be praying for your daughter and your family in this difficult time.
Teenagers are universally having a difficult time sorting out their lives in this new millennium. There are so many competing pressures and influences that they easily get overwhelmed. While suicide is indeed a drastic measure, it is more common today among our youth than ever before.
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If your daughter is a believer, as you suggest, she might be wondering where is God in her life and circumstances. She may have a false expectation that knowing God should make everything better. While Proverbs makes clear that we are better off living with wisdom and insight, there are no guarantees against trouble. In fact Jesus warned that we would have tribulation in our lives. We can often see the ungodly and wicked succeeding in life and wonder why we should bother doing things right. Asaph wondered the same thing in Psalm 73. Check out my article on Where Was God on 9/11? for an exposition of this important Psalm.
She may also rationalize that heaven will be a far better place than earth and why not get there sooner if her life seems impossible for whatever reason. This logic is hard to refute especially since we believe in the eternal security of the believer. Suicide does not forfeit your place in heaven if you are a true child of the King.
If she is not truly a believer then she needs the hope only He can bring. Images of the Good Shepherd from Psalm 23 and John 10 (especially verses 9, 11, 14, 15, 27, 28, and 29) can be very helpful to someone struggling to make their way in this messy world. The entire Gospel of John may be a good project for the two of you to read together.
So what do you say? First, you assure her of your love and commitment to her no matter what she has done. As her father, you carry the major load in communicating your love and acceptance of her no matter her failures or perceived inadequacies. You must depend on the Lord to allow you to see her through Jesus’ eyes.
Second, she needs to understand that God is sovereign and has planned out her life. In our relationship with Him we need to seek His wisdom and guidance not our own. Things may look bad now but she can’t see her life ahead as the Lord does. There is a reason for everything even when it doesn’t make sense to us. She may not be ready to trust God with her life yet but she needs to know you trust God with her life.
Third, there is undoubtedly some deep seated need or hurt in her life that causes her to disrespect herself so much. She will likely need counseling to uncover this. But she will need your support through the entire process. You may need to face a failure on your own part in her life that you are unaware of. You have to be willing to face whatever it takes to bring her back to wholeness. For awhile you will need to supply the courage she needs to face every day. You can’t do this in your own strength. Remember Isaiah 40:31:
But those who hope in (or wait upon) the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary they will walk and not be faint.
Take courage, for your Savior has overcome the world and there is nothing impossible to Him.
Respectfully,
Dr. Ray Bohlin
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Dear Percival Cloete, I understand the pain that you and your daughter are currently going through at this time…I have been on both sides of the spectrum losing two of my loved ones to suicide and then also trying to take my own life several times as well. Life is filled with heartache, trouble and disappointment but with faith in the Lord we can get through such. The only way I was able to live beyond the desire of suicide was by the power of our beloved Lord…Jesus Christ. May you and your daughter find all that you need in HIM for He cares about both of you.
Heavenly Father, I pray that the power that was given unto thee be poured into both of these beloved ladies. Lord may you break the power of suicide from Percival Cloete’s daughter whom is currently hospitalized. May they find the power to change and streangth in you as they travel through this dark time. May you bring forth the proper counsel that is needed to aid them through this season of darkness. May your Light, your Joy, your Peace be given unto both of them…may they mount up like eagles in the healing and restoration that you will bestowe upon them. In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen
My 14 year old daughter is hospitalized on Sunday, 20 November 2011, after an attempted suicide. My heart goes out to every mother & father which has to experienced such pain & heartache. I now know & felt the inner emotion on both sides, because I also was hospitalized for attempt suicide about 20 years ago. What I need right now, is Power to Change my Life unto Jesus.
I once thought about committing suicide but then the doctors put me on anti-psychotic and anti depressants and I went to see a counsellor and now I am much better
There is nothing more difficult for a mother than to see her children suffering or hurting so I cannot even imagine what you are going through Carolyn. May I suggest that you may want to get an online mentor from this site that could walk alongside of you on this journey? Just fill out the form on this page and a mentor will email you. http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/
Let me pray for you too:
Dear Heavenly Father, my heart goes out to Carolyn today and I ask that You would comfort her as she walks this difficult journey with her daughter. Give her much wisdom and discernment to know what to say and when to say nothing. Lord You are the giver of hope and I pray that You would give them both hope as they fix their eyes on You. Amen.
my daughter just attempted suicide for the third time this time her liver almost failed but didnt and i am thankful 4 that but i sometime think i am goin to lose my mind
hey, i now what u and ur daughter are going threw i have also tryed to commit suicide. i stop because a wise person once told me “do u see thouse stars in the sky i once looked them and told my self that i would give my life for thouse stars if some one took the there life. but then i step back and looked at the big pic i died for every one that commited suicide i would have died a thousened deaths. but i cant do that i wish i could, i wish i could die that many time if thats what it took, but i can tthere is only one person who can.” i looked at her and ask “who” she told me ” jesus is the only peron that can then she gave me a verse and said that she did not know what i was go ing therw but he did” the verse was Jerimih 29: 11-14 i think if your daughter herd my story and herd the verse then she might rethink taking her life i did and now i have excepted him as my lord and savor and life still gives me some bumps in the road but i will always hold my head tall and say “he will get me threw it”