Empty Nest: Season of Change
Last night, while going through an old box of pictures of my children in their growing up years, I reviewed the seasons of change that we have all gone through. The baby pictures, school year pictures, and works of art made for me for Mother’s Day, my birthday and other holidays warm my heart even more now.
My youngest daughter graduated from high school a few months ago. She and I have just moved into a smaller home, her older sister having moved on to her own grown-up life.
Transitions like these aren’t easy for me. I’ve been a single mother for 14 years. My “kids” are now 27, 22, 20 and 18, each “grown-up” by some people’s definition, but still my babies.
By the grace of God, and I mean that quite literally, I have already been blessed by the next phase of family life. I have two beautiful grandsons from my oldest son. They are 2 ½ and 18 months old. The joy that these two babies have brought me is unspeakable. To say “children are a gift from God” could not be more true!
As I come to the end of my responsibilities as a parent, I see the true fruits of my labor. My children are all healthy, happy and building constructive lives. Now, as my children are getting married and engaged, going to college and moving on with their lives, I am being blessed even more by the new children I have in my life! I am moving onto my new role in my children’s lives – mentor/friend, hopefully, and always – loving mother.
Building a new life
Along with many blessings of family, these transitions have also opened up my time. I have been working to build a life of my own, so that my children can have theirs. Although I enjoy spending time with my children and grandchildren, I know that they need lives independent from me. And they need to know that Mom is going to be all right.
I’ve read several books about living the life you want, figuring out what that is, becoming the best “self” you can be, and while many of them have good suggestions and helps, as a Christian they leave out one important element for me – The Lord’s will.
As I go back to God’s Word, I clearly see that He has created me to do good works – which He created for me to do. He has given me strengths, talents and a personality, all of which are to be used to bless Him and His family – and to encourage and help His family to grow.
In as much as my children are growing up, so am I. Life is a process. We all stumble at times, but God is faithful to pick us up. He will take everything we go through and make it work for good, just as He promised.
By sharing the many lessons the Lord has taught me through these years of childrearing, I hope I can bless the kingdom of God in many ways. I look forward to the things the Lord will teach me through my grandchildren and through other new experiences He has for me.
What is important, I believe, is to be open to Him. The “empty nest syndrome” (as some have labeled what I am currently going through) doesn’t have to be “empty” or a “syndrome.” The Lord has many people waiting to be blessed by you and by me. It is only a matter of making yourself available to Him, to allow Him to use you as He wills.
This new season I am entering is exciting for me! I look forward to the prospects of my “new life” with positive aspirations of becoming more like Christ, learning to love those He brings into my life and to do those things He leads me to do.
My prayer for you is that you will do the same. Enjoy each season of your life. Open yourself to the possibilities God has for you… and be prepared to be blessed – abundantly!
Hi Deanna, isn’t it interesting how life transitions can be full of potential and hope but also scary and dangerous. I love your aspiration to have “a concrete life in Jesus Christ”. So many times I forget that Jesus has a plan for how He wants me to live every minute of every day. He knows the things I need to learn, the things He needs me to do, and the attitudes he wants me to have. I think the key to that ‘concrete life in Jesus’ comes from nurturing an awareness that Jesus has such a plan for me. If I really believe that, then I am going to need to keep my eyes, ears and heart focussed on Him so that when He shows me what He wants, I am ready to respond in obedience. I love the picture of a sheepdog whose attention is firmly fixed on the shepherd. As soon as the shepherd gives the command the sheepdog springs into action but still with his attention on the shepherd to that when he raises his hand or gives a whistle the dog is able to make that quick, mid-course correction. If I had that kind of single-minded focus I know I would get in much less trouble.
Dear Ladd,
My daughter who is 18 will be leaving for the Navy, October 2011 and my son who is 19 will be leaving for the same branch in April 2012. As time is getting close for my daughter to leave, I am going through many changes in trusting God with the fears, hopes, new desires and the ridding of old desires that seems to becoming 3D at everyturn of thought. Sometimes I feel at a lost on how to pray, how to plan, how to conversate, where to live, etc. I do not know how to begin. I want a conrete live in Jesus Christ, I’ve tried many things that has endangered my life and my children, no more- out of loneliness and boredom, go back to these dead things that is appearing in a different glittering light or perspective. I have no friends what soever, how ever I really believe despite of my struggles to believe that God is working out his perfect plan for me and my children. Your testimony and confession was very encouraging to read. By God’s grace and providence I hope to have friend of like mindness and spirit. Be Bless in your walk and continue to share.