Establish the Habits of Love
In an interview in Taiwan, a successful businessman told the reporter the secrets of his success, “The pathway to success is to let ‘Breakthrough the bottle neck’ and ‘Creativity’ become natural responses in your life.”
His word triggered a deep thought! Yes, optimism and aggressiveness are good attitudes in life that help us to reach our goals and lead us to success. Pessimism and dismay are poor attitudes, which like heavy chains tie us in deep darkness, disappointment and loss of confidence.
Most of the parents have a common dream, that our kids would be future successful professionals. Thus, besides feeding them, we want to find out their bad habits and hope to change them with our magic wands, and turn them into a sweet and perfect person. However, regardless of how hard we try, we fail.
From my past experience, my dream never comes true. On the contrary, I become nosy and picky as time goes by. I also found out that my kids are not perfect, and I cannot change them. What I consider as love and best for my kids becomes barriers between us. I cannot change them nor have any expected influences on them. I discovered that my concern is not their concern; what I consider good is not appreciated by them. I have to adjust accordingly.
A famous writer said that the Chinese character “love” best describes “love” among all languages and definitions. In Chinese, there is a” heart” in the middle of the character, “acceptance.” True love needs acceptance. Accept whatever he is or she is. With acceptance, there is understanding and forgiveness. That will complete our love.
True love includes acceptance
True love helps us to love our kids honestly, love their physical appearance, their talent and personality, and to accept that every individual is a craftsmanship of God. If someone talked unfriendly about your kids, “Why does your kid wear glasses in such a young age?” Answer them graciously. “It is because God gave my kid longer eye balls. Besides short sightedness, his eyes have no other problem.” Accept their physical appearance, their height and their size. Accept God’s marvelous creation with thankfulness.
If we really accept our kids’ personality, talent and interest, we will not compare our kids with other kids; we will not expect anything beyond their capability. Then our kids can enjoy their life, their interest and their success. They also can establish self confidence, a positive and healthy self image. We should develop the habits of encouragement and appreciation – a habit of love.
True love includes concern
Besides acceptance, love also includes concern; concern about others’ feelings. That means, we need to pay attention to how we communicate with others. We always have a wrong perception that we are so closed that we don’t need to be courteous. We are ignorant about our presentation. We talk without taking into consideration about others’ feelings or response. Argument, anger and misunderstanding arise from our carelessness.
If we talked with anger or always criticized without concern, we are neglecting others’ feelings. That is not love. With love, we listen patiently, and are concerned about others’ feelings. When we have to speak honestly, we still do not say anything that might hurt others’ dignity. Then we will become more cautious of speaking lightly, speaking slowly, and speaking softly – speak lovingly.
Get into the habit of expressing love
I heard a quote, “Habit is like a cable line. Everyday we add one more small wire into the cable line, then it becomes stronger and stronger and is hard to break.” Let us start from our family, always show an attitude of acceptance, speak with encouragement and appreciation, forgive instead of complain, give concern instead of criticism. Once the habit of love becomes a natural expression of life, then we will live a loving life, which is full of grace, wellness and blessing.
With compliments to www.touchlife.org for the permission of translation and publication.
