Helicopter Parents

I’m not sure who first used the term “helicopter parents,” but it is an apt description of an entire generation of parents who have been intimately, and often intricately, involved in the development of their children. These are the parents who closely hover, and then swoop into their children’s lives to prevent any and all harm or failure. While every parent cringes just a bit as they watch their children take daring steps into the future, it is this particular group which will probably have the most difficulty letting go as the doors to university beckon.

We all recall how we wanted to prevent the toddler’s tumble, but we knew that walking would never be accomplished without the practice that involved failure as much as success. Then there was the first ride on the two-wheeler bicycle down the sidewalk, the first driver’s license, the first date—all observed by loving parents with that twinge of fear. And now it is time to send them off into dormitories, classrooms and communities without our “hands on” presence.

Practical steps for helicopter parents

We cannot halt the clock and calendar, but we can prepare our children—and ourselves—in a few practical ways. (And it is never too soon to begin!)

Prepare your children to take care of themselves. While this, of course, involves the lifelong habits of integrity and relationship with and reliance upon God, it also means your children should know how to do laundry, balance a budget, cook simple meals and a host of other tasks we often take for granted. In today’s world—and the world of tomorrow—boys must know how to sew on a button and girls understand the workings of a car’s engine!

Let your children fail! Consistently share with your children the importance of dusting themselves off and starting all over again. It is not the people who never fail who truly succeed, but those who fail and begin again. Provide a few BandAids© but rarely offer a wheelchair.

Listen to your child’s heart. Books are written and speeches made about the importance of hearing our children’s words, but it takes practice to delve beneath the words to hear their hearts. Remember the importance of employing two ears and only one mouth.

Pray, pray and pray! The God who created our children has only loaned them to us for these few years. Understanding this fact undergirds our conversations with God about them. He understands and loves and grieves with clearer understanding than we will ever have.  He delights when we talk with Him about His children.

Experts beyond my knowledge and experience have much more to say about the raising of and then letting go of our children, but the following quotes are noteworthy:

“The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.” Frank A. Clark

“Whoever said it first spoke with insight and wisdom: you don’t own children, you only borrow them.” Anne Linn

“If you would have your son to walk honorably through the world, you must not attempt to clear the stones from his path, but teach him to walk firmly over them – not insist upon leading him by the hand, but let him learn to go alone.” Anne Bronte

As the university doors welcome our children, it’s time to park the helicopter!

Related resources:
Parenting AGAIN at 50+ – Becoming a parent … again!
How to Be Filled with the Holy Spirit – Chocolate Milk – How is chocolate milk like being filled with the Holy Spirit? (Video)

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