The Legacy of a Christian Father

Written by Cherylann Bellavia

I grew up as a pastor’s kid. I am also adopted. My birth mom was only a teenager when she had me.  She was in an abusive marriage with an alcoholic. In order to give me a better life, my birth mother and biological dad thought it in my best interest to be given to a family who could better care for me than they could.  I was adopted by a Pastor and his wife who desperately wanted more children.

My dad (the Pastor), was an incredible, loving, Godly, hardworking man. He held down a full time secular job because he believed in his heart it wasn’t appropriate to be paid for the ministry. I can’t say I agree with that, but Dad had a strong conviction that way and he was entitled to it.

Loving by example

My dad loved people – all ages, sizes, backgrounds – it never mattered to him if they were rich, poor, smelled bad, looked good, whatever. He had a heart for people. My dad’s name was Abraham which is kind of funny and ironic. My dad became a spiritual father and role model to so many people over the years — not only at church but at work as well. He gladly shared his faith in God in gentle ways and was constantly showing God’s love to people whenever he could.  Let me share a few examples:

One time, a young woman came into our church looking for money. Now we all know how risky that can be. Dad drove this young woman and myself to a supermarket nearby and handed me money.  He said, “Please go in and make sure that she buys food for her family. I will wait here.” She shopped, we drove her home, and that was it.

One Christmas when I was around 10 years old, I had far more than enough toys.  There were so many in fact that there were boxes of them in the basement. In our church there was a family of 5 girls all under the age of 10 who were very needy and my dad wanted to make sure that they Christmas gifts. We went through all of my toys, cleaned them up, fixed them up, wrapped them up and delivered them to this family. They were thrilled to received the toys and the mother was in tears at Dad’s efforts to help them have a good Christmas.

Our church was in the inner city. It wasn’t an uncommon scenario for parents to send their children to church while they went out drinking on a Friday night. Since we had programs for children, youth and adults on Friday nights, we almost always had a decent number in attendance. Dad insisted that we always have a station wagon so we could transport children and adults to church whenever the doors were open. This would sometimes mean two or three trips to and from church.

One family in particular had an abusive alcoholic father.  This particular Friday night, my dad brought the children home after the usual Friday night service and as he pulled into the driveway, he heard yelling and screaming. The second oldest girl said, “Mamma and Daddy were drinkin’. They’re fighting again.” Her siblings started to cry. Dad pulled out of the driveway, took the kids for ice cream and then went back once the dust had settled. That night, he was a refuge for them.

Depending on God for everything

In my own life my father taught me how to depend on God for everything. As a child I used to have nightmares.  My dad told me to sing a praise and worship song in my head any time that happened and it worked! He also instilled in me the verse that says, “In EVERYTHING you do, do it as unto the Lord.” It has been my motto in everything I do.

He showed me diplomacy and patience in dealing with people in the congregation. My dad was long suffering and I thought he was crazy until I was in full time ministry as the Operations Manager and found myself learning how to be patient and long suffering. I learned how to be tactful but firm when needed with those in the congregation and how to show love and grace above all things. I’ve learned to be compassionate to those in need.

Carrying on a legacy

My dad passed away from a massive heart attack in July of 1996. My life felt like it had stopped. The pain of losing him was horrendous. As I stood in front of his casket during calling hours at the funeral, there was a line that  continued out of the back of the room and into the hallway for the longest time. People I didn’t know shared with me how my dad was instrumental in leading them to the Lord. One man jokingly said he used to call my dad, “Father Abraham”.

Well, I decided that the best way I could honor my father’s legacy was to continue it. In my lifetime so far I’ve helped poor inner city single moms with getting the things they need for their families. I’ve taught Sunday School classes and organized Community Christmas parties for children. I give piano and voice lessons in children’s homes and I taught in a Christian school part time.

I loved being able to share with my students the songs my dad used to teach everyone in Sunday School and sharing with them the things he taught me as a child. I make it a point to look for an open opportunity to gently share my faith and encourage my students or their parents.

You can make a difference as a “Father Abraham” no matter where you are. You don’t have to have a lot of resources. We lived normal middle class existence in a normal middle class neighborhood. Dad used his heart and most of all, listened to the voice of God and the leading of the Holy Spirit in everything he did. Because of that, his love for God lives on even today.

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