SIDS- Love Them Early, Love Them Lots
Our son Spenser died of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) on August 22, 1987 when he was almost five months of age. He would have been fifteen this year.
It still hurts to think about him. I can’t help but wonder what sports he would have enjoyed. What would he have excelled at?
He looked like my Dad when he was born. I wonder whom he would have looked like now.
The evening that Spenser died was a camping weekend for a group of families from church. I had driven home from Princeton, BC that day (just over a three hour trip), so our routine wasn’t normal.
Spenser slept and was quiet all the way home. But by the time we got to the campground, Spenser was getting fussy. He continued to get worse as the hours progressed.
Something seemed to be bothering him, and he just couldn’t settle down to sleep. He eventually did fall asleep for a nap and then he never woke up.
It wasn’t easy giving up a part of our future, realizing that we would never get to see Spenser walk and run, play with friends, go to school or even get married. But we did enjoy what little of his life we did get to share. He was always so full of smiles and so advanced for his age. The last week of his life Spenser, learned how to roll over both ways and he was so proud of himself.
In our church, we have what is called “baby dedication.” On a Sunday morning, the parents with new babies come up to the front of the church and dedicate their child to the Lord, pledging to raise their child with love and patience and to do everything in their power to lead that child to the Lord. Before Spenser died, this dedication was just a ritual for me. But afterwards, it took on a whole new meaning. I realized that God gives children to parents on a loan basis. We birth them and raise them to be independent. Then they go out on their own, establish their own lives, raise a family, grow old, and die – just like us, their parents. It occurred to me that all children are God’s children. We parents (and grandparents) are just put here as facilitators.
Children and grandchildren are an inheritance from the Lord. We never know how long we have to raise them. They could live long, healthy lives or they could die tragically at a young age. Knowing this, we should love them early, love them lots and teach them what is valuable at an early age. Spenser was so young when he died, but I know he felt loved and cared for. I could see it in his eyes and smile when he looked up at me while he was nursing.
When Spenser died so long ago, I said I would always remember his laugh, but I can’t remember how it sounded anymore. This realization makes me very sad because memories are all I have left of him, and I’m losing those too. But when I’m sad, it makes me feel better to know that someday I’m going to see him again…in heaven.
(Written In 2002)
