The Blessings of Loneliness
Loneliness had gripped me. In two years, five of my roommates were married, not to mention countless other friends, and I was tired of being left behind. At times I hurt so badly I would fall on my knees and beg God through tears to take my pain away. What I didn’t know then, was that God was using that pain to bring me to the sweetest love affair of my life, but it wasn’t by bringing me a man to fall in love with; it was by making me more like the Man who already loved me.
“Three times a bridesmaid, never a bride” rang in my ears. Although I was thrilled to stand beside some of the best women I have ever known, I still felt the fear of being left behind. I wondered what was wrong with me; I wondered what I could do to make myself more desirable; I wondered if I would be lonely forever.
Me, me, me…it was all I thought about. I tried to repair my inadequacies by reading Christian self-help books—how to prepare for marriage and motherhood and how to understand men. It was all really good information, but it didn’t fill my void of loneliness.
One night, I got down on my knees and cried out to God that he would take my pain away. I was so tired of being unwanted and without love. As I lay there, crumpled on the floor, He reminded me of 1 John 4:8 that says, “God is love.” I knew in my heart that if I wanted to experience true love, I needed to concentrate on my relationship with Him, not on a relationship of this world.
I turned my reading to the Scriptures, as I wanted to know the very heart of the Lord. As John 1:1 says, “…The Word was with God, and Word was God.” I started at Genesis and read my way through the entire Bible. In it, I found nothing but the love of God for His people and specifically for me. I knew I was imperfect, but I found in Psalms 139:13-16, that He created me, knew me, and loved me just as I was.
For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them.
It was that love that drew me closer to the heart of God. And the closer I got to Him, the more His light revealed the selfishness I was covered with. The Lord didn’t take my pain away, but He used it to refine my life, just as fire purifies gold (Malachi 3:3).
Loneliness became a reminder of the cross, the sacrifice of my own desires for those of the Lord. Jesus tells us in Matthew 16:24-25, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.”
It wasn’t until I embraced the cross and the death of myself that I finally realized that life wasn’t about my desires, but it was about showing the love of Christ to others. The pain I went through allowed me to identify with others’ pain and to counsel many women through feelings of loneliness, rejection, inadequacy, and the pain of broken relationships.
Loneliness became a tool that enabled me to have the time to make lunch appointments with other women who needed counsel, start Bible studies, memorize scripture, pray for long periods of time, and read, read, read. It was a luxury, not afforded to those in serious relationships or marriages.
As Paul says, “The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:34). I had been given a great gift, and it was given to me at the lowest point in my life.
So many Christians forget that God calls us to the low places. He calls us to be lowly (Psalm 138:6), to be humble (James 4:6), to be meek (Matthew 4:5 KJV). He even calls us to die (Romans 6:3-5). None of these come easily, and they often require pain. But we’ve been promised recognition, grace, inheritance, and everlasting life in return.
The popular Christian music group Caedmon’s Call sings a song called “Valleys Fill First” that points out that when the rain falls, the water flows to the lowest places, filling the valleys first. The blood of Christ was meant to flow to those who are hurting and struggling. Jesus said, “It is not those who are well who need a physician, but those who are sick” (Luke 5:31).
I was one who felt His healing touch in my life. Even though I was lonely, in an earthly sense, the void was more than filled, even overflowing, with satisfaction and a sense of belonging.
My time of hurting lasted about two years, and then God chose to release me. About the time my pain ended, and I was satisfied with my single status, God brought me the man that I would eventually marry.
I am happy where I am, and I’m grateful for the blessing of the man that God has provided—he truly is everything I had ever longed for. But there are days when I miss the blessing of loneliness. Those were days when I was forced to seek my intimacy in the Lord, and they were indeed sweet days.
I pray now for others who are in that place that they, too, would have a life-changing experience caused by the pain of loneliness. My advice to every lonely heart, single or not, is this: love the Lord, seek His face, read His word, and share His love with others. And you will experience the blessing of loneliness.
Taken from www.familylife.com. Copyright © 2004, used by permission.
Great video Toby!
Everyone should check this out:
I don’t know if this will be helpful; however, I hope that it will. I too was lonely and struggling with outlets to meet Christian people as a man in my late forties. I joined a well known Christian dating website and I met my beautiful wife there. Take advantage of every opportunity to connect and network with other Christians.
Hi everyone. I wrote on this board several months when I was in deep despair about being 34 and single. I am estranged from most of my family because of alcoholism and emotional abuse. Depression had me in a stranglehold of negative feelings about myself, my worth, and my life. I fantasized about committing suicide, but I didn’t want to turn my back on God and His promises. I know He has promised never to leave or forsake us. I tried to hold on that scripture. I believe God started to hear my cries and felt the pain I was experiencing. He whispered to me to call true friends and they encouraged me, and they prayed for me. I went to a therapist and it was a blessing because she also believes in God. I began to ask God to fill me up; to give the me the strength to accept my single life and to enjoy it to the fullest. I asked him to show me how to love myself and to heal from the past.
I believe that we are all in this together; as people of the body of Christ who are unmarried we are a family. We are connected. I believe that God will bless some us of when we let go and start to see more blessings in this state of life. I also believe that others of us God will give so much strength and confidence that He will say that we are enough by ourselves, and we will become examples for others who are single. I also believe that if we pray to accept rather than resist the feelings, God will reduce, and even eliminate the intensity of them. We are human and we will feel pain and hurt and loneliness. I am learning not to be ashamed of it. However, I don’t want anyone to feel alone in these feelings. I think of everyone on this board a lot and I am praying for all of you (us) as a special family. I am so grateful for this website and for the person who wrote this article, and the wonderful people who have responded to us with prayers and encouragement. I believe God is using them to remind us that he has dispatced angels around us. I know that just a few words will not alleviate the pain one is feeling, but I will remind everyone as I remind myself that God will never leave us nor forsake us.
hi all!
I’m in my early/mid twenties and I am single with maybe one semi close friend. (she and I drifted once I started to focus on God a lot more again)I have a sister that is a christian and she and I are very close. Other than that, I’m extremely content with my life. Just a few months to a couple weeks ago, I was agitated about not having friends and also because I felt slightly lonely. I admitted that whenever I feel lonely is because I have not spent time with God. I decided it was time to seek God for EVERYTHING not just what we consider being “christian”. We don’t NEED to be needy. God will supply everything we need. Just seek him FIRST not a mate, not a friend, nothing but him! Remember to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you. ( material things) trust me God loves you but he doesn’t like idolatry. Yes we can worship even people. DON”T DO IT! SEEK HIM! just confess it all, tell him what’s on your heart but ask him to make his grace sufficient. He knows what you needs and desires. trust me, he loves you! <3
God Bless!
I came across this website from a google search and I want you to know how much it has touched my soul. I have been thinking more and more lately that my desire is to be in love with Jesus. I get so sad when I feel the loneliess hit me. I can relate to you in this. Thank you for sharing this story.
Hey Change…One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Weather its guilt, anger, love, loss, ect. Change is never easy, you fight to hold on and you fight to let go…
@Stacy Hey. Thanks for responding to my post. I completely understand how you feel. I have also had people to show up in my life only when they wanted something, usually money. I stopped giving when I realized that they only took and never gave anything back to me. It’s amazing how the world is so busy and everyone is focused on themselves, until they are in need. Then you become the person that is their greatest friend and they do everything to try and contact you for help. People like this must be cut off. I have started to focus on the people that “are” in my life. They are there for a reason, even if they are few in number. It makes me much happier and life more peaceful. I also don’t have much family and we don’t get together for anything, but I do have a great sister that is always there for me. I think I really need to just focus on those people and God will open up my life for more. I am sure he will do the same for you.
It’s funny how God leads you to help at the exact time you need it. I really need to read an article such as this one. This is exactly how I have been feeling for years but lately I have been twice as lonely as I have been in the past. I have my family and they are a great support system. My family is my best friends. There are many times I feel a void inside because I would really lile to meet “Mr Right” and settle down. I have often wonder if their is something wrong with me and that is why I am not currently married. I met a guy a few years ago and hoped out vague friendship would possibly turn into a relationship. Unfortunately this has never happened. After reading this acticle I really am going to work on myself and my relationship with God. Thank you for writing such an inspiring article.
Hi Lisa. Don’t feel bad. I am in the same situation as you, except I am 41 years old, single with no children. I have no friends. My family only calls me when they want money. The one close friend that I did have started showing jealous ways and only called me when she was in need of something. Eventually I had to let her go. Now its God and me. Sometimes I do feel the pain of lonliness, but I know that what’s to come is better than what’s been. Stay close to God and his word and things wil work out for you.
Hi Lisa,
I am a 42-year-old-male who is single, and never been married. I have major yearnings everyday to have companionship, but nothing ever manifests, except rejection,embarrassment, and disappointment. Praise God!, otherwise I would not be on this forum writing this right now. I would say that you should get into the Word and when you read it, feed your soul, don’t merely read it-and include prayer and fasting. Get involved with a church cell group and try to find a function in or out of the church where you can assist others who are less fortunate than yourself. Try it.
Toby
im single and I think alot of other singles can say that it is easier to be focused on God than it is for a married couple. It says so in the bible as well. I think anyone that knows what’s goes on in a marriage will know that you are not responsible only for yourself but your husband/wife and children, Etc. When you are single you have a freedom that they do not have. You do not have to answer to a spouse or raise children. So enjoy your freedom and seek God always.
I’m not sure where this idea that single people aren’t busy comes from. Having kids absolutely changes everything, but even for those without kids single people still have to work, they are still involved at church or as volunteers and unlike their married peers singles are responsible for everything – all the cooking and cleaning, all the bill paying and home maintenance, all of the family things that come up and they do all of this without the support of a partner.
I think it’s wonderful when singles can spend extra time in the word, but this idea that they have a lot of extra time on their hands isn’t true for the singles in my acquaintance.
I am 28 years old, single with no kids and no friends. I have a few people I talk to at work, but that’s about it. When I was in high school and college, I had tons of friends, but now I am alone. I have one sister that I spend most of my time with, but sometimes I want friends around my age to talk to. I have a cell phone that doesn’t even ring and when I am at home, the phone is for my sister. I feel like I am “The Forgotten One”. Most of my friends have kids or are married, but even the ones that are single I don’t talk to. I wonder, “Where did I go wrong?” How can a person be 28 with no friends at all? I feel like God is punishing me with loneliness and that sometimes He does forsake me. I know in my heart it’s not true, but why does the wait for a breakthrough have to be so long? I have been hurt by people that look like they have everything! A nice place to stay, a nice car, large family and great friendships, good jobs and they can hurt people and just get away with it. I am a meek person and I don’t like to hurt people, because I don’t like being hurt, but how is it that I can be broken but others that do harm are blessed? I’m mad, hurt, broken hearted, sad and in disbelief at how I am forgotten and left behind, but others are constantly blessed and to them, I am only a thought. I had a person in my life who I thought was a friend, but she told me when I reached out to her, “I think about you often. I really do. I must do a better job of showing it.” That was a lie, because it has been over a month since we talked and I have not heard from her. If I do, I am usually the one to initiate the conversation. I am tired of that. I’m tired of being and after thought to people.
i think single people those who are in god has ample time t stick with god.Non singles are busy. they can’t pay good time to Jesus. they are entangled somewhere they find their family,children and jobs.
Hi Zoe, I am glad you can see God at work in your life. Do you and your husband talk about what God is doing in you?
Sabrina, as I was sitting on my bed with my notebook in my lap; thought of loneliness has impact my life and marriage of 2 years. I have experience 3 marriages in my past and now with my 4th and my husbands first; its a miserable time. But God is working on me and that is all that matters.
Krisna,
Your words are poignant and reverberate in my life. I am 42-year-old male who is single. I have yearned greatly for a companion, but the right woman has never manifested in my life. You are so right about some people suffering more than others. I see believers and unbelievers with perfect lives in my mind(married with beautiful kids) and I think where did I go wrong? But now I know that I can increase my love for Jesus by crying out from my soul for his closeness and fruits of the spirit within me. I want you to know that you are not alone in this struggle. You have to give your body and soul to Christ to find respite from this loneliness, not only your mind.Keep getting up and crying out again and again. Fasting helps and repentance of your reliance on any love from this world in the form of female companionship as well as self-pity must be part of drawing closer to God. Don’t try to figure out why…just do it, and find other Christians to lean on, but most of all, learn to lean on Him through meditation on the Word, prayer, and repentance.
hi, i’m 31 years old male and i’m single.
thank you Sabrina Beasley for the bless article. now my eyes are opened. it’s give me spirit to wake up again..walk again..to run and jump again..forget all about the pain, the loneliness and rejected feeling. I am the sheep who got lost, now HE found and safe me through HIS way. True love only comes from GOD. our life in this world is only a moment, why we don’t try to share His love with others and know more about GOD?
thanks God for peoples who could feel the love in this world or already married and have children.. i hope we can know that there are still many people who never feel the love and life more suffer than us but they still have the spirit to survive. let’s start praying and share HIS love for them.
God bless us
Dear Tiara and Pavina may God’s blessing, comfort, and provisions be with both of you at this junction of time. It is amazing how wonderful God is in drawing us to His loving arms when others leave or forsake us. May both of you find that blessed comfort in knowing how much God loves and adores you. I ask that He heals each one of your wounds and as you become whole He will bless you with a wonderful person that will love and cherish you all the days of your lives.
thank you for sharing and encorage me. last month my boyfriend broke up with me i am so sad and lonely. but i believe jesus heal me and make me strength . pray for me i want to see him again and say sorry . i am in laos he is in africa
This article came to me at a time that I need it most. Right now I am a single mother to a baby boy. I am hurting very bad because I felt that I want my child’s father and I to get married and become a family. The problem is, he is not ready to do that and he is unsure about being a Christian. I have been celibate for months now and I am really lonely. I too thought that I was being passed up. It’s hard to give full trust in the Lord, but I try to fight everyday with worry running through my mind. Because of this I think of the loneliness that I am feeling as a step closer to God. There must be a reason that I am in this situation. I thank God for my son everyday but I long to be a wife soooooooo bad. I am too selfish and this article makes me rethink my priorites, God being #1. Please pray for me… Thank you
Sabrina, you have a WONDERFUL site here. I am a man and even men can find comfort and direction in your words. I found your site as if God sent it to me. I am going through a PAINFUL marriage separation. I believe the pain is so intense is that I believe in the Lord and love Him, but I was putting my needs and desires first. I am also one of those men who didn’t REALLY DISCOVER God until it took my wife (who I will always love) to separate from me. Pray for my rightness with Jesus and what good things He has in store for me!
Hi Vicky, I am glad that you found some encouragement from this story. I want you to know that God has not forgotten you. That could never happen because the nature of God could not allow it. He is an infinite God with an infinite amount of love and care for His Creation. I don’t know if you like math but I love what happens when we look at the math of God’s love: any mathematician will tell you that if you take infinity and divide it by two you are left with infinity because if you take something that has no beginning or end limits you cannot divide it in half. Further if you take infinity and divide it by 100 you are still left with infinity. In fact, if you were to take infinity and divide it by the number of people who have ever existed and ever will exist you will still be left with infinity. Let that sink in: if God has no limits on His love and attention then that means He has an infinite amount of love and attention for you! So there is no way that God could have forgotten you because His infinite attention has never wavered from you, ever!
Let me encourage you to listen to what David advises: “Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it… Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him;” (Psalm 37:4-5,7) God has not forgotten about you and even though things are not working out the way that you think they should, God’s perfect plan for your life has not been missed. Keep your attention on Him and delight in Him alone. Be content with what He brings into your life for today and know that if He has more for you it will come in His perfect time. The best way to prepare for what He has in store for you and be ready to follow His lead when He directs you is to focus your attention fully on Jesus. He is communicating with you and directing how He wants you to respond to the world around you. And as that happens, He will direct your desires so that they conform to His plan and purpose.
I am 43, never married or had children. I took care of my parents for years, and used to be happy with my singlehood, now I am so lonely and I yearn more and more for companionship and romance. I feel like God has forgotten me. I know He wants me to fall in love with Him, but I am often overcome by my longings to be with someone and I fall into a depression. I am trying to embrace life as a single person, I know that relationships take work, and I see the state of marriages today. Thank you for sharing your story.
Jean, I want to thank you for expressing your feelings so deeply and so well. I completely understand where you are coming from, and I want to say that I have and do experience many of the same emotions. I also was divorced, with my first husband having left me for another woman. It was devastating, and I felt the same rejection, and the same feelings of fear and of being alone the rest of my life that you are esperiencing. In my case, the Lord did lead me to a wonderful new husband, and we have been married for over eleven years now. I love him with all of my heart, but at times, I still fear what will happen if he should go to be with the Lord ahead of me. Like you, I do not want to be alone. However, I have come to the point in my life, Jean, where I know that there is only One Who can satisfy my longings and ease my fears, and that Person is Jesus Christ; for only He will never leave me nor forsake me, for only He will never die. Only He is Perfect in every way, and only He can meet my every need and know exactly what is right for me in every situation. So I do my best to turn to Him in all of my trials, as well as in all of my joys, and to surrender to Him my fears, my worries, and my cares, and to listen to His greatest words of advice to me, which I need to remember often, Matthew 25-34, which ends with these words:
34 So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble [Amplified Bible].
I pray you will find peace in the arms of your Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, Jean, for He loves you perfectly and He knows exactly what you need, today and always.
Claudia, thank you so much for sharing your testimony with us. While I am saddened that your current journey is ending in divorce, I am delighted and inspired by your trust in Christ Jesus! Truly, you are an example of steadfast faith no matter what the circumstance of our life may be. May God richly bless you as you continue on your walk with Him!
Thank you … And now please give me a chance to say my story :)
My name is Claudia I am a Romanian girl most of you probably won’t understand what I want to say
But I will try my best
Let me start recently while is late in the night and I won’t have time to finish
I run away in London in a lovely Sumer nearly 7 years ago
At that time I was 19 I start traveling alone when I was 13 and at the time I came here I was already tired and the only thing I wanted was to settle Down and make a family. I was tired to be lonely. I meet a Romanian boy who was living here and my lonly time was nearly ending. :) argh .. God I am so blessed that you light my way ..!!! You always got your reason ! We’ve been friend for about a month me and him … And when I decided to continue my lonly live in another country .. He ask me to marrie him and not to leave he was crying and saying amazing wards what i never heard before :) Waw GOD. Look at this guy I say … He is not rich he is not beauthiful he is not famouse. But he love me so much I need to say yes … And I accepted to be the wife
Amazin all my plans are now in a family is about 2 years we are married now we are still happy and I dream of a kid :)
Life change he is not warking in construction anymore. Now he is a taxi driver
I am happy for him but fur some reasons he think different
He change now he work night time … Me day time.. Hmm … Yea we are a family we will make it.
Another’s few years of argue egoism pain and problems and here we are to make this sort
We divorcing now … He was crayng like a bby to stay and now l… Won’t even read this back I do t know if is posible to understand anything from what I say but …. I just lost A lot love a lot cry a lot fight a lot and I’ve been left alone as I’ve been before and I just want to let you all know THAT I STILL BELIEVE !!!!!!
Thanks Claire for your advise. I do work with the public but that’s not what gets to me, well at times it does lol but mainly it’s things I can’t control like thinking about the future and facing it alone. This statement even aggravates me because I want to know in my heart I won’t face it alone god will walk each step with me. I remember the year before I got divorced I was sitting in my chair and work and I said out loud: lord how did I get here. I went from being a full time mom to cleaning houses to a receptionist to a full time medical secretary . You must know something I don’t!! And sure enough the following year I was divorced but had a full time job with benefits. So deep in my heart I know he is there for me and this is why I say I’m selfish cause I want that feeling of love and being loved. Maybe I have it from him and don’t even know it. I preach to others not to base your life on feelings because feelings change like the wind but I don’t listen to my own advise. I have scripture and books and pictures around my desk at work and my father in law ( god rest his soul) used to say he felt like pulling the shower curtain closed and going to confession because I had so many religious things in my home. I did go to a therapist and she was ok but like I said before it was a wonderful priest who helped me out of my despair if not for him I’d probably would be institutionalized. It’s been almost ten years and it doesn’t really bother me any more. I guess I just want someone to be there for me unconditionally . I listen to Sabrina’s story and it sounds like she’s in my head. Those where my thoughts exactly. I have to just have faith and let go and let god. I have all the answers I just don’t listen to myself. I want to surrender completely to him but on the other side maybe it is the devil whispering in my ear ” you want more than that you need a man” I don’t know. And the funny thing is I don’t want a man in the sense if a boyfriend just someone who loves me and will always be there for me. Boy I must really sound confused to you. Any way the clock is ticking and I’m not getting any younger I want to feel alive and not feel lonely before its too late and find myself bed ridden with a drewl cup. Thanks for listening.
Hi Jean,
You don’t sound selfish to me at all. You sound a bit discouraged, which totally makes sense given your situation. I think that there are both short term and long term things to consider here. Let’s start with the short term because that’s easier. You said that you start out the day ready to rely on God. That is very positive. I’m guessing this means that you have your quiet time with God in the morning? That’s an excellent habit to have. But by lunchtime you’re not feeling so confident, so what happens between when you get up and lunch time? Is your job stressful? Do you deal with the public? Does your job involve hearing a lot of people’s problems? Is it a positive work environment? I think you could add some things to your workplace to help you get past this mid day slump. Are you able to have a verse on your desk where you can see it? (I know not all offices allow that.) If not, could you put one on your phone so it’s there to see when you need some encouragement? Do you get a coffee break? Are you able to listen to a worship song on your break? Is there anyone who could pray for you specifically around mid-day? Take a look at your schedule and see if there is anything you can add or take away to encourage yourself. Are you able to get outside at lunch time? Do you eat alone? Would you be able to read a devo on your lunch break? See what might work for you.
I do not think that you are “praying wrong”. I think that that is a lie Satan often hits us with. Sometimes God tells us to wait and when it’s something we desperately want His “wait” sounds like “no”. In times like that, hard times, Satan sometimes whispers lies like “I guess God didn’t hear you” or “you must be praying wrong” or “maybe he forgot about you”. But none of that is true. If you are honestly seeking God, and it sounds to me like you are, then you are praying correctly.
Have you ever had a chance to talk do some therapy with a pastor or counsellor to work through your thoughts and feelings about the divorce? Divorce, as you know, is a significant trauma in a person’s life. I noticed in your comment that you use words like “rejected” and “thrown away” to describe what happened to you. Do you also use those words to describe yourself in your thinking? Divorce can do great damage to the way we see ourselves. Sometimes when a person leaves us we feel like that must mean that we aren’t worth much, but that’s not true. I wonder if talking through things with someone you trust could help you deal with the depression (which, by the way, is incredibly common as a side effect of divorce). There is no weakness in talking to someone about it, quite the contrary. It takes strength to be willing to bring up those painful emotions again. But if you can be brave and do it and go through that with a trust professional then there is real healing that can take place.
Hi
I Also feel so alone. I just turned 50 and have three sons. While two of them still live at home I still feel by myself. Yesterday would have been my 29′ th wedding anniversary had I still been married but my husband left me In 2003 for another woman. I was with him since I was 15 years old , 20 years married but 25 years together . Since then I have felt thrown away, lonely . All my friends are married and when we go out or just hang out I feel like a third wheel. Not only in what ever it is we are doing but in listening to them share things. Wen I have a bad day at work or I get sick and I roll over in my bed to look for comfort no one is there . I sought of have a man in my life we are not boyfriend and girl friend just good friends and at one point things where great and now things have sought of fizzled it seems like my life revolved around him and what he wanted. When it was the beginning it was really good always listening to me and calling now it has really changed he tells me it’s because of his profession which I can understand but he always had this profession and it never stopped him from calling or visiting before it’s always up to him if he comes or if he has something else to do. He’s so good to me monetarily if I need financial help he is there and it’s not like I give him anything in return but my friendship, i dont want to depend on him to fill my void i want God be that person.I want to let go of him and all earthly things and surrender to God and let him fill my heart. I had a good friend that was a priest that helped me through my divorce and he sounded just like you . he too told me how lucky I am to be single and able to read and pray and give my whole heart to God. I try and I pray but I still feel lonely and I still feel clingy to this person that I don’t want to worry if he s coming tomorrow just so I won’t be lonely or so i can have a little of attention. It’s hard when you are thrown away you feel rejected and you are on guard always. I know I don’t want to be remarried and I definitely don’t put my self out there, I want God to fill my heart but I am so scared of being alone . I have friends that say you are so pretty yo should find someone or your getting older and you don’t want to be alone In your old age and it scares me, I see people alone everyday at work as I work in a medical office with no one to care for them and yes I have my sons but its not the same. I pray but maybe I’m not praying right. I know God is there for he has always taken are. Of me but why doesn’t he fill my heart with joy love and surrender for nothing but him to be able to let go of worldly things and only cling to him. I want to feel his love but I am weak, I look at st Theresa who had one moment of fire where she felt The Lord and the rest of her life she felt in the dark but yet always loved him with her whole heart. I don’t know I guess I have to let go and let God I think this way every morning but by lunchtime I’m depressed thinking is this it, is this all life is to work pay your bills go home sleep and repeat again. Anyway please pray for me I know I have been blessed in soooooo many ways and I thank God maybe I am selfish and I want it all. Thanks for listening.
I am so glad that you found this page too Jane! And that you were blessed by it. God uses the body of Christ to encourage one another in those times when you are feeling most alone. Let me pray for you right now:
Dear Heavenly Father,
I lift up Jane to you this morning and thank you that she found this page. thank you that she loves You and is looking to You to meet all of her needs. Thank you too that you have a plan for her. I pray that she would find good friends that are also alone who would embrace her and her son as well as other families who would reach out and fill those lonely places in her heart. May she be very aware that You are with her each and every step of the way. Amen.
I am so blessed to have landed on this page. The articles are exactly how I am feeling at the moment. Lonely and friendless. I too often wonder what is wrong with me. Like some of the people on here. All my friends are married or got partners and seem so very happy. I always seem to fall in love and then within a blink of an eye that all changes.. I do love God and still getting to know him. He has done some wonderful things for me and I know it is God doing it. He has blessed me with a lovely son, a great job, a roof over my head, body parts that function. I am trying to put my trust in the lord to provide for my needs. But like most human beings, God knows my shortcomings. I do pray that God oneday brings a wonderful blessing into my life as far as a relationship goes. But, I know God also has a plan for me.. whatever that is.. I am just taking each day as it comes. But I know that God is with me, through my times of need. Thank you so Lord, I do love you and know that you are with me through the good times and bad times. Amen. God bless everyone here on this site. We are the lonely hearts club with God as our leader.
Hi. I like your story. I makes me connected to other christians. For me, sometimes a lot of competitions and hard works make me tired and very very lonely. Then I read Bible or the better, I pray in toungs. I do wish that I will go to Heaven soon and yes, a lot of people live in darkness and we are commanded to spread gospel to those people. And also it “HURTS” to love others and spread gospel and live according to Holy Spirit and Bible. Thank you for your testimony.
sigh…
Jessica as you can see from the comments on this article, you are not alone! And it isn’t because there is something wrong with you or like Shelley asked, if there was sin in your life.
God has his best in store for each of us….for some it is in relationship and for others it is to remain single. One of my dearest friends has never been married and yet she is a godly woman who I both love and admire. Continue to look to God to meet all of your needs and He will in fact do that.
Thank u goooooooddddd for that iam in that same place
good article and good comments too
This blog is inspirational for me:
http://www.thechristianwoman.com/blog/2012/07/jesus-saves-really.html
Hi Sonya,
I will ask God to strengthen you in my prayers this evening. I am glad to have discovered this website and we can encourage each other through the spirit of Jesus as it grows in each of us.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. i am 41 and have a child that i am so thankful for but i have never experienced a man loving and caring for me. As i read your story i felt like crying that’s me. I feel like the most unwanted woman in the world. i’ve asked asked GOD what is wrong with me? What do i have to do to make someone love me? i do feel bad about asking him those questions, but sometimes i feel it so deeply that i trouble not asking. i know he does not make mistakes. i thank him for everything i have and for everything i have been through. i thank him for being patient with me which has never been easy for me concerning this subject. Eventhough i do know that i have a personal relationship with i know that i can have an even better one with him. Your story really help me out tremendously amd i am going to work on not being so selfish and concentrate more on God. Thank you so much and god bless you.
Shelly,
I am a 41 year-old male and I have struggled with being single for most of my life. I have the same questions as you about past sins, etc. I get into the word deep now- I literally carry my Bible around and read it morning and night in an effort to serve the Lord. It helps and I find peace in Him as I grow in the spirit. My thoughts are with you.
I am in relationship for one year she proposed me one day that she love me n i also accept it was my first love she give me so much love n now also she is loving a lot i cant say how much i also love her a lot she is christian n i am not a christain . I always prays to lord that i want her i pray also to lord jesus all through the day but i felt that she is hidding something from me n i dont know why i am very deppressed about that . There parent want to marry her with christain but i cant live without her know … Although she love me so much i cried before her that i want u she say that i am urs but i felt that she is hidding some thing plz frend i am not a christain plz pray for me . I always pray to lord for her
Thank you for writing this story/lesson. I was also feeling depressed and lonely because I am nearly 50, and I have lived most of my life by myself. My friends are either in relationships or happily married. I used to think something was wrong with me, or maybe God was punishing me for past sins. It is still very difficult for me, but this story gave me some hope. I hope I can find the contentment you found in being single. I really want to stop crying about it.
I’m so glad that you found this article helpful Valerie. It always helps to know that you are not alone and that others have also walked along the same journey that you are on.
Thank you for sharing this, I’m going through something similar and this helps!
dear kandice– prayer–father God i pray for kandice for to lead her to the right man who she can love and will love her back God you know her hearts desire for man in her life surround her when she is lonely with your loving arms of love be a husband to her for this time be with her and give her dreams of that she is loved with an everlasting love. i pray all of tnis in JESUS name amen i am praying for you awwwwww tough help her during this time God be with you at this time love sharon
Thank you for writing this beautiful article. Truly God led me to your site because I had been suffering so much lately because I felt forgotten about by God. I am also watching everyone around me get married and have relationships and I who want it so badly am still alone. I cried out to God to tell me what to do, to take away my pain. Yesterday, I fasted all day because I needed some guidance from God on handling my loneliness. I prayed and prayed. I cried too. And, now here I am reading this and knowing that you are right and that I do owe God my total committment. I must trust Him to send me a husband in his time and that even if He does not, I must seek Him in love and gratitude for his sweetness, grace, mercy, and kindness.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
Kawaii and Gigi, thanks for sharing how your trust in Jesus helps you through loneliness. I love your commitment Kawaii to make Christ the center. That is exactly what Jesus meant when He said, “Your heavenly Father knows all that you need. So seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:32-33) He knows exactly what you need for friends and He will lead you to the place where they are. All you need to do is keep your focus on Him and be obedient to His leading.
Thank you SO much for sharing this information. I am currently having the unfortunate feeling of lonliness. All my friends are either in relationships or meeting new people and getting married and I feel like God has forgotten about me. I know in reality he hasnt but thats just how I feel. I googled, “God’s word for lonliness” and came across this page and it was nothing but a blessing. I;m still a little sad but I know that God hasnt forgotten about me and that he is teaching me patience and to trust him by regaining my relationship with him. Some days will be easy, others won’t but i know that it will all be worth it in the end!
I am currently dealing with the end of a romantic relationship with an unsaved man. I am sad not only because of the end of this relationship but in general, I have no friends I can speak about God with or fellowship in a godly way. Around the time I was getting baptized, the things I usually do became a burden to me. The people I use to talk to, became pointless. It didn’t feel the same. I have been crying to myself wondering why I am friendless. Actually all my life I was friendless. Sure I had alot of friendly people around me, but the deep kind of friendships that last a lifetime, i’ve never experienced that. I’ve been a christian all my life and have in most times in my life, been persecuted for being one. I love God with all my heart and I sung from my heart that no matter how I feel, I will trust in him. He is indeed all I need. At some point we just have to accept that when we made that decision to surrender to Christ, we no longer fit into the world. We no longer have the same spirit dwelling inside of us that the world has. We are different. We will be an enigma to those around us. I don’t take that as a diss anymore. Honestly, I do not have any intentions on dating or waiting for a husband. I do hope one day to build solid christian friendships but at this point, I just want to make Christ the center of my universe. He’s awesome and I love him more than my own life.