You Can Be More Confident
There are few things more beautiful on a person than confidence. Women who wear it radiate strength, passion and conviction. It contributes more to a look than a designer label or the perfect diamond. When a woman knows who she is, why she is and what she’s supposed to do, she may be dressed in thrift store specials and be absolutely gorgeous.
A confident woman is not afraid to be herself. Plain and simple and beautiful, or flamboyant and fabulous. The key is: she knows who she is. She understands her purpose, and her gifts. She knows that there are certain things only she can contribute to this world, at this time, in this place.
She knows her style. It doesn’t matter whether you prefer zebra stripes and pink fur, or to be cloaked in grays and subtle greens. Whether you like volleyball or Victorian teas. Shopping or hiking. Or all of the above. What is most important is to be you.
That means stretching and stepping out. If you’re supposed to be on the front lines, be there. Don’t step back. If you are blessed with supportive skills, be the best supporter you can ever be. Expand your skills. Celebrate the talents and experiences God has blessed you with.
What is your confidence based on?
“All of your real value and worth is built in by design,” says Denis Waitley in his classic book, Timing is Everything. “You received it as a precious present when God gave you the gift of life. That gift–all of what’s in you–is really all the value you’ll ever need. It isn’t a matter of finding value, earning value, or proving value. It’s a matter of living up to the value built in at the beginning.”
When we know our value in our very bones, it is manifested as self-esteem. It springs up from within, inspiring us to live into the generous calling on our lives.
Confidence radiates from a deep center–a knowing that you are valuable. And it is because we know that we are valuable in God’s sight, that we can approach Him with confidence. It is an attitude, yes, but not one that is based on our own achievements. It is rooted in self-esteem, yet our confidence comes from knowing that God is all-powerful, all-knowing, ever-present, loving and just.
Self-confidence is no confidence at all. To achieve anything or take any action consistent with God’s plan for your life, you must first surrender your Self, and placing your confidence in God, knowing that He works all things for good to those who love Him. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have the power to act. In fact, we are called to act in order to reflect God’s glory.
A picture of confidence
A confident woman’s being speaks louder than her words. Confidence is not loud or boastful. In fact, it is often gentle, quiet and always humble.
Give me the Jesus kind of confidence any day: soft-spoken, gentle, compassionate, caring, yet strong. And inevitably powerful. Someone who has a message to share with the world; who makes a difference. Now that’s confidence!
Speaking confidence
How do you talk about yourself? Are you the first to put yourself down? Our words have power — either to build up or break us down. What you say about yourself, usually becomes true.
Start listening to your self-talk. Do you ever demean yourself by saying things like, “stupid,” “wimp” or “coward?” Stop immediately and replace it with positive statements. Jesus was clear about His worth and made emphatic statements about who He was: I am the Bread of Life. I am the True Vine. I am the Way and the Truth and the Life.
How do you speak about your body parts? Can you imagine Jesus complaining about fat toes or big hips or a long chin? He never said anything negative about himself. He understood that His body was merely an earthly vessel–something necessary to function here on earth.
Has anyone ever said anything that hurt you deeply? Bring these hurtful words to the cross, to Jesus. He wants us to be confident and whole, not scarred.
Clothes and confidence
Confidence is not clothes or a haircut or expensive jewelry, it’s an attitude. At the same time, something that makes you feel fabulous, may do wonders as an accessory to your confidence.
Look at yourself
What do you communicate to the world, even when you’re not saying a word? What does your posture, and the way you present yourself declare to those who see you?
Now, look inside. Ask Jesus to clear away any cobwebs, whether sin, hurt or misunderstandings.
Living confidently
When do you most feel like that woman God created you to be? Capture that feeling, bottle it, preserve it. And whenever you need a reminder, dab a few moments confidently on your wrists.
Not everyone feels confident all the time. When in need, act your way into feeling. Chin up, shoulders back, tummy tucked. Now breathe in… And smile. Imagine yourself as a princess–wearing an exquisite gown, with a precious crown placed on your head. That’s who you are, after all. You are a daughter of the King. Now act it.
Really appreciated this post. Thank you, Idelette.
Dear Pavina, thank you for opening up and sharing. Sometimes people do not realize that they have hurt us by the words they had spoken. The person that spoke negatively to you may not realize how hurt you are because of what was said. Have you spoken to the person who hurt you? Do they realize how bad they have made you feel?
At this time, I would like to pray for you:
Father God, In faith I pray for You to heal and set Pavina free from the unjust words spoken against her. May she no longer be wounded by such offenses. By the wounds of Jesus, heal her and set her free from negativity. Lord, renew her mind and spirit so she can overcome all negative thoughts against her self. Holy Spirit help Pavina to recognize that her true worth and value come from knowing who she is in Christ. May she come to know how wonderful, lovely, and beautiful God sees her this very day. May she realize she is a blessed daughter of the almighty God of heaven and earth who loves her dearly. Set Pavina free to be the real woman You are calling her to become…a beloved daughter of the King of Kings. Adore her with your jewels of love, joy, and peace as she steps onward into the wonderful plans You have for her to fulfill. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen
someone talked negative to me. may God give me confident and strength. plz pray for me
Thembie, I’m glad to hear that you were encouraged by these words. Remember that the enemy of your soul wants you to feel worthless because of your past and family issues. However, God who created you loves you and sent his son Jesus to die for you. One of my favorites is from Isaiah 43:4, 4 You are precious to me, and I have given you a special place of honor. I love you.
Let me pray for you right now:
Heavenly Father, I lift up Thembie to you right now and ask that you would show him today that he has eternal worth in your eyes. You sent your son to die for him and he has been created by you. Show him Lord his ultimate worth in you in little ways today. Amen.
Thembie, we have a wonderful team of online mentors who would love to walk alongside of you on your journey. If you would like one of them to email you just fill in the form on this page http://powertochange.com/experience/talk-to-a-mentor/ and one will be in touch.
Thank for such encoraging words,Im going through a time where I look at my self and find my self useless and dirty,not worth of anything good becouse of my past,family and the way things are in my life,sometimes would feel that if I can get married I will get my confidence back.I realy want to wait up the Lord for my things but it hard,Im 24 years with a ND HRM and cant find a job and I keep on doing sily mistakes and I see my self worthless dont see anything good coming out of me,please pray with me I knw in Jesus name all is possible.
God bless.
Isn’t it wonderful how God Works Gayatri? May God continue to guide your choices in the days ahead. Let me pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for Gayatri and continue to direct and show him where it is that you want him to go. Renew in Him a desire to be all that You want him to be. Guide and direct and make the crooked places straight and the rugged places plain. Amen
Hi Claire ,
First I’d like to thank you for your prompt reply. I’m currently studying Bachelors in Engineering in Electronics from a reputed institution in India. After I left a message here, I had gone to sleep. Before I woke up in the morning , I got a dream about me explaining to my friend that I have never liked Math . That’s quite a revelation , I realized that Math has always been a struggle for me since very childhood though I managed to show good grades. I woke up and thanked God for the dream . I feel more confident to make my choices now :)
Thank you for your support :):)
Hi Gayatri, I’m glad you found our site. I think that a lot of people struggle with the question of what to do with their life. It sounds like you have a good educational background and a strong sense of what you love. The thing to do now is see where those two things intersect. I don’t know what kind of engineering you do, but for example there are organizations that drill wells in third world countries. They would need people who could speak to engineers, but also speak to donors. There are probably other areas that would combine both your education and your passion. See if you can talk to other engineers about programs they might be aware of. And remember, you don’t have to figure it all out right away. For most of us, it takes a while to find the place where we fit, and over time that often changes.
There’s a devo that I wrote a little while ago that might speak to your situate. You can find it here: Nowhere To Go But Up. There’s also a guided lesson on Overcoming Fear and Anxiety that you might find useful. There’s a lesson to read and then some questions to answer. When you fill in the answers and hit “submit” the answers go to an online coach who will take a look at them and write back to you. If you have any questions or would like to keep talking to your coach you can do that for as long as you like. Coaching is a free and private service.
Wonderful replies. I love the God’s love letter part the most.
Friends I’m facing a problem to open up to God completely without any reservations. I realized after reading your replies that Becoming a Christian is simpler than Being a Christian. Please , I’m always anxious for my future. What will my career be…What will others think of me if I fail in my life even after receiving so called best education. I’m in a wavering state of mind when someone asks me about my career plan ( I have a bachelors in Engineering , but I want to become a motivational speaker – I love leadership as subject & I love to lead for a cause. )… I’m not sure what God has in store for me. I sincerely want to pray to God to mold my life the way he likes. I don’t know how to do that.
Thanks to Jesus Christ , I feel better after reading confidence quotes from Bible. Whenever I think of him , my mind becomes calm instantly.
Friends I’m new to this forum . Thank god I came here. I’m sure it’ll help me in reinforcing my belief as Christian.
Hi Stacy,
This is going to be a long comment but I think you’ve asked a really excellent question and I wanted to make sure you got a thorough answer. You asked, “How do you know the Lord says that about me?” The answer that is that it’s in the Bible. All throughout the Bible God speaks of His love for us – for each of us, and that includes you. The best compilation of all the things God says about you is a piece called The Father’s Love Letter. I’ve copied it below for you. At the end of each phrase is the place where God says it in the Bible. It’s long, but it’s worth a read. At the end of it we’ll get to what you can do to repent of your mistakes.
First, this is what God says about you:
My Child,
You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being.Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don’t know me. John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore.Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4
And I’ll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus.John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again.Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is… Will you be my child? John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad Almighty God
Father’s Love Letter used by permission Father Heart Communications
© 1999-2011 http://www.FathersLoveLetter.com
As you can see, God has a lot to say about you. He loves you. You’ve probably heard John 3:16 which says, “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his unique Son so that everyone who believes in him might not be lost but have eternal life.” (International Standard Version) You asked a really great question, “How do I know if this is good enough?” The answer is pretty simple. We are not good enough but Jesus is. The Bible tells us that someone had to pay for all the sin in the world – the bad things that people do. Whether that’s something awful like a war crime or something little like a small lie, it’s all sin. And sin separates us from God. But here’s the really great news – Jesus came and died in your place and mine so that we can be reconciled to God. He rose again on the third day, just as he said he would. All you have to do be good enough to accept what Jesus did for you and ask God to be a part of your life.
You can do that by praying a prayer like this one:
Dear God, I believe that You sent Jesus to die on the cross. I believe You brought Him back to life again. Thank you that Jesus provided a bridge for me to connect with You. I ask that You would forgive my willful, stubborn ways. Please help me to break free of the wayward life I chose and to follow in Your ways. Help me to grow in my understanding of You. Please lead me in news ways, God. Teach me to pray as I follow You with my whole heart. I pray this prayer in the name of Jesus who died in my place, amen.
If you pray that prayer, then you’ve accepted what Jesus did in your place and that makes you good enough. It makes you a Christian. You can learn more about it here. If you do decide to pray that prayer, please use this form to let us know so we can help you as you learn what it means to live as a Christian.
Being a Christian is a lifelong journey of learning more and more about who God is and how that changes the way we live, but BECOMING a Christian, that’s very simple. If you have any questions, or if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know. I know when I hit “send” that this comment is going to be massive, but I didn’t want to shortchange you on such a great question. Can I pray for you right now?
Dear God, I pray that you would be with Stacy. It sounds like she is searching for you, I pray that you would reveal yourself to her. Show her how much you love her and if she’s ready to take that step to become a Christian, then give her the peace to do it. If she’s not ready yet then I pray that you would provide a way for her to get what she needs to get closer to you. You promise that when we go looking for you we will find you. I claim that promise for Stacy. Help her to see you at work in her life. Thank you for giving her the courage to ask her questions. Amen.
Thank you Kate!
How do you know the Lord says that about me? And also what must i do in order to repent my mistakes? Because i have already asked God for forgiveness, i believe i have changed my ways. But i still do not know if this is good enough or if there is more that i should be doing?
I am not a Christian, but over the last couple of months i have been drawn to Christ and have started to put my faith into him.
Thank you Stacy.
Dear Stacy,
You are not alone. I think every one of us has, at one time or another, made mistakes that haunt us. I have found great relief, even joy, in bringing these things before the Lord. It is so wonderful that repentance opens the door for redemption! God can take the mess we’ve made and make it into something beautiful. There are so, so many people whose testimonies include terrible mistakes and then, after giving their lives to Jesus, they speak boldly about how the Lord used those things to teach them, to change them and to give them a heart for ministering to others. As His word says, He will work ALL things together for those who love Him and put their faith in Him.
In the meantime, as you are leaning on Him, do not let yourself be brought down by what others say. One thing we have to learn is to have the mind of Christ, and once we learn that, we know that something is only true if the Lord says it is true. So, what does the Lord say about you? You are precious, beloved, treasured, beautiful, gifted and worthy. Whatever other people say or think, if it does not agree with what the Lord says about you, it is not true. Period. I pray you will meditate on that and not let others get you down.
God bless!
Kate
I made a mistake in my past and it haunts me, it brings me down all the time. In my culture, what i did is frowned upon, it really hurts my self confidence because i know im not that person anymore but when someone mentions it. It destroys me.
Glad you found our site and thanks for mentioning us on your personal blog! This article truly is a great reminder of our worth in God’s eyes. It’s so easy to look at ourselves through the world’s perspective and lose sight of how God sees us. We are the apple of His eye….His beloved and His princesses! Amazing!
I really enjoyed reading this post. It’s inspirational for women and I like how it’s a reminder of my worth in God’s eyes. I loved how you went through many aspects of confidence for women. I’m definitely mentioning this site on my blog. I think it’s great and thanks so much for sharing!
http://www.joyfulmeanings.com/blog/2012/04/02/trying-something-different-how-to-be-confident-in-your-changes/
@Bellz, I understand the despair of all of a sudden having to do everything on your own as when we are fully dependent on our spouse and the spouse leaves it is an extremely overwhelming and utterly strange feeling of despair.. I have felt this despair however the choice that you have before you is trust Christ to give you the confidence through the Holy Spirit. Until I was left alone I did not understand the peace,joy, and happiness that the Holy Spirit could give me.
I have learned to not rely on others but on Christ through the Holy Spirit as he gives me peace as Romans 15: 13 I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.
God Bless
Thank you for this article. I am going through a separation right now, and I’ve just realized how much I’ve depended on my man for pretty much EVERYTHING. I had always thought that I was stood on my own two feet throughout the relationship, but now that he is gone for who knows how long, maybe forever, I am struggling to keep going through life because I have NO confidence or independence at all.. So this is something I need to work on while I have no-one around. So, thank you :)
Jazz, Confidence is a like a muscle, with work, it grows. It sounds like you have walked a rough road, maybe you confidence muscle is ready for rehab rather than marathons. Don’t get down on yourself for not being fully confident right away. It’s a journey, take it in small steps. You are currently in treatment which is a fantastic and huge step! That took courage. If confidence is like a muscle, courage is like those protein drinks that athletes drink before a big work out. Courage is the building blocks of confidence.
Celebrate that right now you are doing the best thing you can to take a big step toward the confident woman you want to be. This is a very good thing! You have a big hill to climb but i believe that you can do it, one step at a time with God by your side.
I have always struggled with my confidence. There have been times I have been confident without thinking about it.. until I lost it. I have had multiple traumatic experiences through out my entire life. I am 24yrs old now and I have gone through a divorce, been through domestic abuse,child abuse,molestion,poverty..I have a mentally ill mother and no father.. and a list of other things. People have always told me that I am very beautiful, but at this point I hardly believe any compliment. I have become extremely insecure because I have an OK paying job.. I cant sleep at night so it makes it very difficult to go back to school. I have started this treatment for my trauma called EMDR. Send a prayer my way… The end of this article made me cry. I will keep my chin up because I AM the daughter of a king after all of the trials and tribulations. :)
I agree Rashelle…it is just what we need to be reminded of who we are in God’s sight and to stop and examine how we see ourselves. Self-talk is such a strong indicator of how we really see ourselves and it is worthwhile evaluating it at times to really see what we think about ourselves.
This was sooo amazing…just what we need at times…when i read it i felt great,it reminded me of who i am. God bless the person that wrote this.
This is great! Thanks so much for this encouragment. I really needed this today. :)
thanks i needed the reminder. i live along now and when im against me there is no one for me (well god of course, like i said thanks for the reminder)
I’ve sincerely never believed and felt that I had so much worth in God. Thank you for such a wonderful & an attitude changing remark! It’s truly a blessing to see yoursel with a positive eye at an instant other than dissolving in negativity as I was previously.
Love It!! It makes you really think about your time.
Great advice!