You Can Be More Confident

Written by Idelette McVicker

There are few things more beautiful on a person than confidence. Women who wear it radiate strength, passion and conviction. It contributes more to a look than a designer label or the perfect diamond. When a woman knows who she is, why she is and what she’s supposed to do, she may be dressed in thrift store specials and be absolutely gorgeous.

A confident woman is not afraid to be herself. Plain and simple and beautiful, or flamboyant and fabulous. The key is: she knows who she is. She understands her purpose, and her gifts. She knows that there are certain things only she can contribute to this world, at this time, in this place.

She knows her style. It doesn’t matter whether you prefer zebra stripes and pink fur, or to be cloaked in grays and subtle greens. Whether you like volleyball or Victorian teas. Shopping or hiking. Or all of the above. What is most important is to be you.

That means stretching and stepping out. If you’re supposed to be on the front lines, be there. Don’t step back. If you are blessed with supportive skills, be the best supporter you can ever be. Expand your skills. Celebrate the talents and experiences God has blessed you with.

What is your confidence based on?

“All of your real value and worth is built in by design,” says Denis Waitley in his classic book, Timing is Everything. “You received it as a precious present when God gave you the gift of life. That gift–all of what’s in you–is really all the value you’ll ever need. It isn’t a matter of finding value, earning value, or proving value. It’s a matter of living up to the value built in at the beginning.”

When we know our value in our very bones, it is manifested as self-esteem. It springs up from within, inspiring us to live into the generous calling on our lives.

Confidence radiates from a deep center–a knowing that you are valuable. And it is because we know that we are valuable in God’s sight, that we can approach Him with confidence. It is an attitude, yes, but not one that is based on our own achievements. It is rooted in self-esteem, yet our confidence comes from knowing that God is all-powerful, all-knowing, ever-present, loving and just.

Self-confidence is no confidence at all. To achieve anything or take any action consistent with God’s plan for your life, you must first surrender your Self, and placing your confidence in God, knowing that He works all things for good to those who love Him. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have the power to act. In fact, we are called to act in order to reflect God’s glory.

A picture of confidence

A confident woman’s being speaks louder than her words. Confidence is not loud or boastful. In fact, it is often gentle, quiet and always humble.

Give me the Jesus kind of confidence any day: soft-spoken, gentle, compassionate, caring, yet strong. And inevitably powerful. Someone who has a message to share with the world; who makes a difference. Now that’s confidence!

Speaking confidence

How do you talk about yourself? Are you the first to put yourself down? Our words have power — either to build up or break us down. What you say about yourself, usually becomes true.

Start listening to your self-talk. Do you ever demean yourself by saying things like, “stupid,” “wimp” or “coward?” Stop immediately and replace it with positive statements. Jesus was clear about His worth and made emphatic statements about who He was: I am the Bread of Life. I am the True Vine. I am the Way and the Truth and the Life.

How do you speak about your body parts? Can you imagine Jesus complaining about fat toes or big hips or a long chin? He never said anything negative about himself. He understood that His body was merely an earthly vessel–something necessary to function here on earth.

Has anyone ever said anything that hurt you deeply? Bring these hurtful words to the cross, to Jesus. He wants us to be confident and whole, not scarred.

Clothes and confidence

Confidence is not clothes or a haircut or expensive jewelry, it’s an attitude. At the same time, something that makes you feel fabulous, may do wonders as an accessory to your confidence.

Look at yourself

What do you communicate to the world, even when you’re not saying a word? What does your posture, and the way you present yourself declare to those who see you?

Now, look inside. Ask Jesus to clear away any cobwebs, whether sin, hurt or misunderstandings.

Living confidently

When do you most feel like that woman God created you to be? Capture that feeling, bottle it, preserve it. And whenever you need a reminder, dab a few moments confidently on your wrists.

Not everyone feels confident all the time. When in need, act your way into feeling. Chin up, shoulders back, tummy tucked. Now breathe in… And smile. Imagine yourself as a princess–wearing an exquisite gown, with a precious crown placed on your head. That’s who you are, after all. You are a daughter of the King. Now act it.

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9 Responses to “You Can Be More Confident”

  • Claire Colvin says:

    Jazz, Confidence is a like a muscle, with work, it grows. It sounds like you have walked a rough road, maybe you confidence muscle is ready for rehab rather than marathons. Don’t get down on yourself for not being fully confident right away. It’s a journey, take it in small steps. You are currently in treatment which is a fantastic and huge step! That took courage. If confidence is like a muscle, courage is like those protein drinks that athletes drink before a big work out. Courage is the building blocks of confidence.

    Celebrate that right now you are doing the best thing you can to take a big step toward the confident woman you want to be. This is a very good thing! You have a big hill to climb but i believe that you can do it, one step at a time with God by your side.

  • Jazz says:

    I have always struggled with my confidence. There have been times I have been confident without thinking about it.. until I lost it. I have had multiple traumatic experiences through out my entire life. I am 24yrs old now and I have gone through a divorce, been through domestic abuse,child abuse,molestion,poverty..I have a mentally ill mother and no father.. and a list of other things. People have always told me that I am very beautiful, but at this point I hardly believe any compliment. I have become extremely insecure because I have an OK paying job.. I cant sleep at night so it makes it very difficult to go back to school. I have started this treatment for my trauma called EMDR. Send a prayer my way… The end of this article made me cry. I will keep my chin up because I AM the daughter of a king after all of the trials and tribulations. :)

  • Doris says:

    I agree Rashelle…it is just what we need to be reminded of who we are in God’s sight and to stop and examine how we see ourselves. Self-talk is such a strong indicator of how we really see ourselves and it is worthwhile evaluating it at times to really see what we think about ourselves.

  • Rashelle says:

    This was sooo amazing…just what we need at times…when i read it i felt great,it reminded me of who i am. God bless the person that wrote this.

  • Simple says:

    This is great! Thanks so much for this encouragment. I really needed this today. :)

  • bigeyes says:

    thanks i needed the reminder. i live along now and when im against me there is no one for me (well god of course, like i said thanks for the reminder)

  • Palesa says:

    I’ve sincerely never believed and felt that I had so much worth in God. Thank you for such a wonderful & an attitude changing remark! It’s truly a blessing to see yoursel with a positive eye at an instant other than dissolving in negativity as I was previously.

  • Renee says:

    Love It!! It makes you really think about your time.

  • Amber says:

    Great advice!

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