I have problems with men because of my father
I have problems being close to men because my father was always “disciplining” me. As I got older, I went out on dates and found that the only thing men seemed interested in was getting me into bed. One time, when I was drunk, I was raped by a male friend of mine. I am a Christian now and I need to heal this problem. The Father and the Son are portrayed as male and this really messes me up. Is there something I should be doing?
Advice: About dads – my father died (ceased to exist), when I was seven and I became an atheist (for me, God ceased to exist). It seems to be a human phenomenon that what our earthly father is like (or not like) we automatically transfer to our perception of God, the Father. So if “Dad” was mean- spirited and harsh, then we expect God, the Father to be the same way.
I have spent a lot of time studying the Bible to see what it says about God. And God is nothing like our earthly fathers, unless you had a dad who loved you unconditionally, disciplined you justly, cherished you more than silver or gold and gave you lots of affirmation and approval.
There are a lot of men out there who are wonderful fathers and great models for an awesome relationship with your Creator. But if your Dad was less than good, take a look at the book, Making Peace With Your Father, by Dave Stoop.
You will need to forgive your father, for not being what you needed-maybe he didn’t now how. You will have to spend more time looking at some human dads and feel what it might have been like to have had them as your father and let God heal you of that wound.
a Christian Women Today mentor