Would having phone sex with my boyfriend be a sin?
I’m dating a very good Christian guy who is in a different country from where I am now. While waiting to get married in a few years time, we still need maintain our intimacy and so he suggested that we have sex on the phone. I really see the need to be intimate since he is no ordinary male friend. I’ve been praying about this suggestion and I was wondering if it’s a sin? It’s sex, whether on the phone or anywhere else. He thinks it only becomes a sin when we have physical contact. What do you think? If it’s a sin, what do you suggest we do to keep our relationship intimate while waiting?
Advice: You do well to wonder about what this so-called Christian guy wants of you in the way of “intimacy”! Jesus said that if a man lusts after a woman, he commits adultery in his heart with her. This sex by phone fits that description–and it will be true of you too. God’s Word tells His people, “Keep yourself pure” (1 Timothy 5:22). If you engage in this kind of behavior, there’s no way you can keep yourself pure.
You call this guy “a very good Christian guy”. Well, in view of what he wants he is neither good nor Christian. Basically he wants you to do for him what Internet prostitutes do for guys! And if you went along with him, you would be defiled and cheapened – and fall away from the Lord.
Intimacy of the kind spoken of here should be reserved for married couples. Rather than give you advice on how you can stay “intimate” and together with this man, I really think the Lord would have you break off with him and his bad influence entirely. If you know and love the Lord, I believe He would want you to ultimately marry a truly good and decent Christian who is following Him and living His way.
I’m praying for you. Look to Jesus, and obey Him, dear!
In His love, Dr. Muriel
I don’t know that I totally understand this. See, when I was a kid growing up in church, there was always that stigma of “sex is only for marriage”…so a great number of my friends waited until marriage. They didn’t date traditionally, but “courted”, which meant sitting next to each other in church, or going on group dates but never really being alone because they didn’t want to tempt themselves.. A good number of them married young, and seemed soooo happy and sooo in love.
And now they’re ALL divorced. Some are very disillusioned; see they thought that if they followed all the rules they have been taught, everything would work out.
But it didn’t.
Most of my friends are atheists now, and some later on decided that a homosexual lifestyle would make them happier.
They were doing everything they were supposed to…so why didn’t it work?