Suicide – Giving Life Another Chance
Give life another chance. You may be reading this article because you are contemplating killing yourself. Or perhaps you know someone who is.
If you are that person who has lost hope for your life, please read on. Let me talk to you personally. I realize that you may have already planned to end your life or even tried to. All you can think about is how hopeless your life is, how you can’t go on living like this. The pain is too great. No one understands the burdens you carry or the emotional turmoil you are experiencing.
But, you are here now and because you are, let me share with you some hope, about how your life can be different, about why you should give life another try.
Are you feeling hopeless?: Moving through your suffering
Exhale your sin: Find hope in the Holy Spirit
First of all, you need to understand why you are depressed.
You may say, “I do know why. I am a failure. I’m in debt. My wife/husband left me. Someone died. I’m unemployed. I’m lonely. I’m______ (you fill in the blank).” I want to tell you that though you have many problems and struggles, most likely, you are also struggling with a physical deficiency of chemicals in your nervous system. This may be a major reason for the depression you feel.
Many people who are depressed don’t know that depression is also caused by a deficiency of neurochemicals. A recent article from the world renowned Mayo Clinic stated that “experts believe a genetic vulnerability combined with environmental factors, such as stress or physical illness, may trigger an imbalance in brain chemicals called neurotransmitters, resulting in depression. Imbalances in three neurotransmitters – serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine – seem to be linked to depression.”
These chemicals help people concentrate, improve mood and increase energy. Medication can help increase these neurochemicals along with natural methods such as exercise and taking time to grow spiritually. You still need to work through other issues such as the loss of a loved one through death or divorce, low self-esteem, guilt, resentment, anger, or past sexual abuse. Those crises and losses need to be dealt with, processed and grieved.
Have you been going to counseling and been treated for depression? If not, go immediately to your family doctor or a psychiatrist or to the nearest emergency room for help. You can find a counselor or go to the nearest mental health center. If you are suicidal please contact 911 (in the USA & Canada). Please do this immediately!
If you are presently in counseling, you need to contact your therapist and/or psychiatrist to tell them you need help for these suicidal thoughts and self-destructive plans. Ask a family member or friend to go with you.
Understanding depression and challenging your emotions
Your feelings and your depression cannot be trusted. Feelings are not objective truth. Feelings are indicators of subjective thinking and you need to explore the thoughts you have been dwelling on that have led you to contemplate suicide. Thinking about killing yourself is believing lies about life and about the future. Many people in the past have struggled with depression but, they didn’t cave into or trust the feelings. They had the courage to go on, the courage to believe that their future and that their life could be different.
Martin Luther graphically described one of his frequent rock-bottom moods: “for more than a week I was close to the gates of death and hell. I trembled in all my members. Christ was wholly lost. I was shaken by desperation and blasphemy of God.” (Here I Stand, Abingdon Press).
Don Baker, pastor and author wrote of his experience with depression: “I seemed to be out of touch with relatity. Life was a blur, often out of focus. My life seemed to be nothing but pretense and fantasy. No really cared, I felt-not even God. The only solution-at times-seemed to be suicide….”
These men did not follow their feelings. They rejected the despairing thoughts and moved forward. They were able to overcome hurdles and their emotions of defeat. You don’t need to be led astray by your negative feelings and thoughts either.
It’s time to challenge that thinking. Time to see your life from a healthy perspective. You are a person of value. You are important and you can change your thinking and behavior and improve your life! I implore you to also give God a chance to give you hope as well. Turn to God and seek His help and guidance. Why not find out what He can do?! I have witnessed how He has changed lives, lifted the downcast and brought hope to those who feel lost.
Ask yourself:
- What feelings are underneath my depression?
- Do I suffer from low self-esteem?
- Am I having guilt problems?
- Am I struggling with relationship problems?
- Am I fearful about something?
- Am I struggling with some loss?
- What types of thoughts rule my mind?
- How can I take a step towards seeking God?
Ask God to reveal these things to you. Then, pray and ask Him for help and to change your life from the inside out. Don’t give up! Don’t be a quitter! Contract with someone close to you right now NOT to take your life.
Moving beyond hopelessness
Usually people who are feeling depressed are not doing what would help them feel better. You need to fight the depression and move forward. Talk with someone about your feelings, about your life. Expressing your feelings to someone is very beneficial. Exploring with someone, especially a counselor, what underlies your feelings can help you begin to problem-solve.
Seeing your doctor for a physical exam and telling him or her about your depression can lead to further treatment for the physiological causes. You most likely need to take an anti-depressant. Regular exercise and proper diet is very helpful and can also increase the neurochemicals your body is missing.
Spending quality time with caring people, friends, God, members of your family and church will give you a sense of connection and help you regain meaning in your life.
Where to start: You have read this article. Will you now consider taking a step towards life? A step towards rebuilding your life? A step to reach out for help? Refuse to believe the lies you have been telling yourself. Lies that life is hopeless, you are worthless and you have no future.
I’m here to tell you that your life has a future and a hope. I have seen so many people get help and go on to enjoy a better life!
Call for professional counseling. You can find a counselor. Write out a list of what will help you start over.
Here are some suggestions:
- Professional counseling:
USA:
American Association of Christian Counselors directory
SuicideHotlines.comCanada:
Centre for Suicide Prevention - A physical exam and medication.
- Prayer
- Support from family and friends
- Exercise
- Guidance for finances. Contact Crown Financial Ministries for free financial counseling.
- Working through grief or loss.
- Reading a book such as The Freedom from Depression Workbook by Les Carter, Frank Minirth or The Search for Significance by Robert McGee or Learning to Tell Myself the Truth by William Backus or Keep Believing: God in the Midst of Our Deepest Struggles by Ray Pritchard.
- Other: _________________(fill in the blank)
I hope that I have been able to talk you out of harming yourself. Please contact someone for help, like an online mentor. Call your pastor, counselor, a friend, your doctor. Take a step towards life and hope now.
©2004 by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC, Visit CounselCare Connection
26 Responses to “Suicide – Giving Life Another Chance”
Leave a Reply
Start a Conversation
Media
What Do You Fear?
What do you fear, and why? Is it holding you back from realizing your full potential?
>Watch
- Contact
- |
- Advertising
- |
- Terms of Use
- |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Link to Us
- |
- Media Releases
- |
- What we believe
I worry sometimes because I can tick a lot of those items on the list. I’m not suicidal though. Some people just have less coping skills. Most people just want someone to talk to.
Suicide Prevention in Your Life
For me it is not depression. I hate my self to the point of rage
rob, I’m sorry that you are feeling this way. I don’t know what you’re feeling and going through, but as someone who struggles with issues of self-esteem I imagine it is very difficult. I’ve forwarded your comment to our mentors; one of them will email you, if you want to talk you can speak with them confidentially, if not you don’t need to reply … however I want to encourage you to speak with them so that you can seek to help uncover the roots of your self-hated. I pray that you will find relief for your struggles soon.
If you are reading this because of suicidal thoughts, please please seek a trusted counselor, professional to speak to. My husband killed himself two years ago leaving our 8 year old son without a father and everyone left behind with enormous guilt. Suicide affects the people left behind more than the victim could ever realize. My father also killed himself when I was in college. The aftermath of suicide is devasting, please help yourself and by doing this you save your loved ones a lifetime of pain.
I’ve lost all hope in my life, I just don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel for myself. My hope is gone..:-(
Michele, I’m sorry to hear that you have for the moment given up hope. I’ve forwarded your comment to one of our mentors, who will contact you soon. If you would like to speak with them confidentially by email, just reply, if not, don’t. However I think you should, it could only help analyze what has brought you to this point and encourage you for the future. I pray that God will bring new hope and renewed joy into your life soon!
Thank You Darren for your kind words, I pray God will bring new hope and joy back into my life also..
God Bless You,
Michele
i have no hope in life anymore. ive got infected liver,diabetes,hbp,hc,kidney stones. And there are still some haven been diagnosed.my dreams crashed. i have lost the wing i had to fly wherever i wanted to. life is meaningless without a dream. i cant chase my dream with sicknesses.it never will come true.forever. this pain will be in my heart til the day i die.
Dear Friend, You need Jesus! Life on earth is temporary for all of humanity. Jesus came to give life and to give it to the full no matter what your circumstance is. My heart goes out to you but, you can’t live in despair and regrets. You have today to start over – to look to Jesus for help and hope. He cares. He can be your Savior – all you need to do is turn to Him and ask for forgiveness and ask Him to come into your life and change you forever. He has promised eternal life, forgiveness of sins and to be with you forever. Read about How to know God Personally http://www.counselcareconnection.org/articles/97/1/How-to-Know-God-Personally/Page1.html and ask the staff at http://www.powertochange.com for a mentor who will write to you and encourage you.
God bless you in the new year as you put your faith in the One who changes and redeems lives.
Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
I dont want to go out-Im so happy when im home alone.Ive been like this now almost 2 years, and financially im getting into an awful mess. Im wondering what the point of life is…? We all die in the end-im wondering if its better sooner rather than later. when i try to talk about how i feel-no ones really interested-people today seem to have enough problems of their own.. Does anyone else feel like this…?
Dear Ruby, you sound terribly depressed and hopeless about life. Our hearts go out to you. Won’t you consider talking to one of the mentors on this site?
I have copied one of the staff who can assign you to a mentor who will try to support you and gi
Be you some guidance. Also, it is of utmost importance that you find a professional counselor or talk with your doctor about the symptoms you are experiencing. You most likely are struggling with clinical depression and need an evaluation, counseling and treatment.
God does not want you to feel so hopeless and despairing. Jesus said” I have come to give you life and to give it more abundantly”
His plan for your life is to give you a new purpose as you discover how much you are loved and forgiven through faith in Christ. Give God a chance to change your life. Read more about faith on the http://www.powertochange.com and http://www.counselcareconnection.org and http://www.keepbelieving.com. we will all be praying for you.
Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
I am tired, so so weary. i just wish that God would take me home. I would help him with that but i can never seem to finish the job. i am a single mom who has had mental health issues since childhood. I dont wan to struggle anymore. I take 8 different pills just to get through the day. I just wish there was one day that i could wake up and just feel joyful and unburdened, but it has never happened. i have believed the God would heal me or help me but it doesnt seem like he has done either. i dont see my life changing and i cant bare the thought of living like this for 50 more years.
Jennie, I can relate to the desperation and exhaustion that you’ve expressed here; I get the sense that you’ve given up hope on a very deep level.
I know this for sure: although the struggle that you’re experiencing every day is intense, it is not the end of your story! You are not defined only by your emotions, but by the many ways that you look like God; by the mother you are to that amazing child of yours; by the goodness, tenderness, and generosity you bring to the world.
You, Jennie! You are irreplaceable here, and can be known by your beauty instead of by your brokenness.
When you visited this blog, were you able to follow any of the links mentioned in the post? Have you already attempted the professional counseling route?
In my own struggle with thinking and emotional issues I’ve grown to understand that keeping our head above “water” involves a lot of work! Are there any tools that you consistently use that help you to cope?
There’s a verse in the Bible that talks about our choice to cry out to God when we feel like we’re drowning in our pain — He promises to rescue us when things seem utterly hopeless.
You are not forgotten, and the God to whom you pray for help is hearing you! One of the challenges for those of us who wrestle with dark thinking is to choose to move forward believing that despite our emotions.
Do you have a minute to scroll up through some of the other blog comments? You’ll notice there that some links are noted: you’ll find encouragement and potential next steps if you follow them. Also, you can be linked to a mentor to whom you can talk reguarly and privately (just scroll to the top of the page and click on “Talk to a mentor” if you’d like to be connected to a more private conversation).
You’re circumstances may not change, but your heart and your mind can be made whole because of what Jesus has to offer. You don’t need to live like this for 50 more years! You can be free!
Hello, I’m a 20 years old male studying in college, I’ve been depressed for maybe 50% of my life, I know I’m too young to just say that..
I was born and raised in a racist community, bullied at school, almost enslaved by those who bullied me, I was under their mercy. I left that community at the age of 15, with no friend at all, 15 years and made zero friend, in fact I had ones who eventually turned out to be just like the others, this was worst thing that ever happened to me, I still sometimes cry when remember the times.. All I could ever remember is just sad and unfair and abusement..
The new school I moved to was not bad, no one noticed my presence, graduated from high school and again.. No friends, I have this problem with making friends and trusting them, actually it’s not them I don’t trust, it’s me, coz usually I don’t know how to talk to people how to just be friends with some one, I don’t know what is it like to be friends with some one I don’t know how to tell a joke, I don’t know anything about dealing with people like me.
Now I’m in college for 2 years, and history seems to be repeating it’s self…
I’m stuck with people who hates me… I went to this college educational trip to Malaysia.. I never wanted to go, some one convinced me to go, though I knew he just wanted me to go for his own benefit somehow (something about money).. Anyways I went with this guy hoping he would prove me wrong.. I expected everything that happened there..
Every one left me alone, every one forgot about me..
One in this Malaysia trip day I was involved in some problem with those people, my room mates asked me to borrow iron machine from our colleagues next door so I brought it, later that day the iron machine owner told me to bring it back so I asked my room mates where is it?? They didn’t whoa where it is!!
I had to tell the owner to be patient while I look for it, he yelled at me and almost beat me, I went to look for the iron machine, one of my room mates was sleeping so I had to wake him up coz the owner is so pissed of and I’m the only one to blame, when I woke him he yelled at me and threatened me he would beat me if I ever woke him up for “such reasons”, eventually I found it and more yelling and humiliations from those 2 guys.. Over an iron machine.. What did I do to deserve this?? This whole thing reminded me of the times back at school and I swear.. I locked myself inthe bathroom and cried for over an hour, and still couldn’t stop the tears stream…
I’ve always been alone and always humilated by others, some times I feel like I don’t belong to this world, I’ve never done anything bad to any one, I’ve never hurt anyone not even in a fight, I’ve always been a good guy, I’ve never smoked or drank or anything, I seriously don’t deserve anything that’s happened to me.. Sometimes I blame God for all this, sometimes I hate God for creating me.. I just want to put an end to my life but I cannot suicide for religious morals.. I just want to die.. The depression and hatred to those people in my life are just too great for me to bare.. I have been waiting forever for my life to change and get better
I see my future, I see myself alone, languishing with no one to even bury me… I wish God would just take my life..
Dear NoName, There is no such thing as being “too young” to say that you’ve been depressed for half of your life. Depression can strike at any age. My heart aches to hear about everything that you have been through. No one deserves to be treated like that. You do not deserve to be treated like that. I know that things look bad, but suicide is not the right answer. There are people, trained professionals that you can talk to right now. If you are in the US or Canada you can call I-800-SUICIDE to speak to someone right now. If you are outside of North America you can find resources on this page. We also have mentors who are available, you can use this form to contact a mentor who will respond by emails. Mentors usually take a couple of days to respond so if you need to talk to someone today, please use the phone number above so someone can talk to you right away. There is more to life than what you have experienced so far. I can only imagine how much pain you have been in, but it does get better. I promise, it gets better. God has a plan for your life. You’ve been so strong to stand up in the midst of everything that has happened. Be strong just a little longer, just long enough to ask for help and then you won’t have to be alone anymore. I will pray for you.
I have lost hope in this life. i often think of committing suicide and i tell my husband about this thinking. Many a time, he has tried counseling me. The reasons as to why i get this thinking is that with all the qualifications that i have, i have failed to get a job, i desire to have good things in my life but have labored in vain. My husband is also not financially stable. i feel am leaving in pretense and hardship for the last 4 years. I have lost hope. i tried to have a baby and did everything possible but the baby still passed. This has affected me the more and i feel very depressed. I have lost touch with family members. most of them seem to be complaining. I sometimes don’t feel like picking my phone to call anyone. I also tried getting saved but have not had a break through. God show me which way to go.
meant that i am living in pretense, outwardly i pretend to be happy but in actual sense am always sad. my baby passed on and this hurt me so much. I dont know if God will give me other children. I feel that even if i see a counselor, it might help me. all i need is a breakthrough. I have two MA degrees but still have no stable source of income. I am now loosing my memory. i no longer reason the way i used to 4 years back. I even wanted to do a PhD but i am not sure if i can handle it now because i do not think and reason anymore. this could be because of stress. may be if i ever got a breakthrough, then my old intelligence would be regained. otherwise at the moment, i feel that life has nothing to offer
Hi nameless,
Thank you for being so open and for sharing your heart with us. I can see how the situations in your life have been hard to go through. I have put you in touch with one of our mentors here at Power to Change. This is a free and confidential service and a mentor will be able to talk to you in private and perhaps provide resources for you to walk through difficult situations. I would also like to tell you that I have been in the very dark pit that you are living in – and I know that it seems that there could be no way out or nothing good to come. But when depression lifts, you will see just how beautiful life can be and how much you are loved. I also understand that my mere words probably don’t bring much comfort but I will keep you in my prayers because I know that was the only thing that took me out.
I am 47 and I am always thinking about suicide due to my past stupid moves in life. I had a great job in the military but left it to be with my wife and two boys and did not consider the consequences. I am now deep in debt, our cars are ready to break down, I am in a dead end job and I feel so sorry for my two wonderful boys and my wife. I tried to seek help at the hospital and told them of my suicidal thoughts and all they did was through me in the psycho ward for two days and left me alone. I see no way out. I have no pension to turn to and I was informed in April I have a disease (hemochromatosis)which is so confusing me about my diet as every Doctor I have seen tells me something different. I have a lot of Brain fog and sleep about 2 hrs a night and just when I think I may have a solution to my problems I break dowm and think of my great job in the military and what I could have had………
Dear M
It sounds like you are going through a really hard time right now. I hear in your words the love you have for your family. If you commit suicide your family are the ones who are going to be effected for the rest of their lives. Your boys need you in their life. Everyone has regrets but we can’t live our life holding onto them. Before you hurt yourself please talk with one of our mentors, its free and confidential. If you want a mentor please fill out this form: http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/.
M, I will be praying for you.
Sincerely
Leah
M, It sounds like you could really use someone to talk to. Would you like to talk to a mentor privately? You can use this form to request a mentor and you’ll get a response back by email, usually within a couple of days.
i am terribly depressed and hopeless about life pls help me
hi, I hate my self I have lost hope in this life. i often think of committing suicide pls help me to come out of it..
Aishwarya Subramaniam, I know how scary it is to be in a place where you feel like there is no good thing left in your life. You were very brave to ask for help. It takes a lot of strength to do that and I am so glad that you did. Thoughts of suicide are very personal and I know that it is hard to share them, but for most of us, we need help to get through this. I don’t know what your family situation is like or how old you are, but if it’s possibly, talking to a family member is often a good place to start. If you don’t feel ready to do that, then there are a lot of resources available. You can find a worldwide list of suicide prevention resources here.
One of the best things I’ve read about suicide is this simple explanation: Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain. Often people who are struggling with thoughts of suicide feel weak, or cowardly but that’s not true. Feeling suicidal is not weakness, it is not failure, it is something that happens to you. Everyone’s coping resources are different, if you have come to the end of your resources then we need to either reduce the pain or increase your coping resources to get you to a place where you can manage. (There is a longer version of this here. It’s really good. Take a minute to read it.)
There is more help here. And email mentors are available here (there is a special group of them who deal specifically with people who feel suicidal.) I won’t tell you that it’s going to be easy, but I can promise you that it DOES get better. I was 16 when I was sure that death was the only option that made sense for me. It hurt so much and everywhere I turned was another wall. I thought I was completely alone and that there was nothing else I could do. I felt trapped and I was so scared. That was 19 years ago and I promise you that I am so thankful that I did not end my life then. I know that you cannot see all the good things right now. I know that things are awful and that you are in a lot of pain. But please, take one of these resources and let someone help you. Because this is not the end of your story and you don’t have to do this alone.
i’ve no chance with women never had a girlfriend or relationship. i’m terribled shy towards women i’m 52 and still a virgin. i couldn’t approach women and they don’t approach me never have.
I hear the pain in your words Robert and am so sorry that you feel like you have no chance with women, no opportunity to be friends them or have a relationship with them. Have you tried going to events where there are both men and women? Perhaps a single’s group at a local church?
Robert, may I suggest that you fill out the form on this page http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/ and one of our online mentors will walk alongside you on your journey. There are places where you could get more comfortable with women and perhaps grow in your self esteem to you would feel like you could in fact approach women.