My prayer for you Robert is that God would open your eyes as well so that you will be able to see things from God’s perspective. When He looks at you He does not see a shy man who is hopeless and useless. He sees a man whom He has created for a specific purpose and who He has specially equipped to carry out that unique, one-of-a-kind plan. He sees a man whom He loves and treasures and wants the very best for. Jesus told a story once about a merchant who went seeking fine pearls and when He found them He sold everything He had to purchase them. God is that merchant and you are one of those fine pearls that He sold everything to possess. He gave Himself to rescue you from the path of destruction that you are on and to give you abundant, eternal life. Jesus said, “I came that they may have life in all its fullness” (John 10:10) I know right now life does not seem very full but that is because you are overwhelmed by the enemy forces that surround you. I pray that your eyes will be opened and see that those that are with you far outnumber those who are against you. God is working out His perfect plan for you and if you fix your eyes on Him He will help you to see things from His perspective.

So God I do ask that You would open Robert’s eyes and he would be given a proper perspective. Reveal to him how much You love him, how perfectly You have created him for the plan You have for him and give him confidence in Your perfect provision. Amen.

Robert I know it can be intimidating to share openly on the forum. If you feel more comfortable you could connect directly with one of our online mentors who would love to help you see things from God’s perspective. If you fill out the Mentor Request Form at http://powertochange.com/experience/talk-to-a-mentor a mentor will get in touch with you by email.

The same is true for you–God has made you exactly into the person that He needs in order to carry out a specific purpose. The best way to find that place is to look to God and follow His directions. He will never leave you to try and guess what His plan is. He is speaking to you at just the right time and pointing you toward just the right job and relationships. Focus your efforts on knowing God, listening to His voice and obeying His directions in your life and I promise you it will be amazing! You are, after all, a masterpiece made by the ultimate master of all time!

Lord God I pray for Robert to discover in You the purpose for which he was created. I pray that he would be able to develop the pattern of life that looks to You exclusively for his purpose and value. I pray that he would find that place in life where he fits perfectly and experiences the joy of knowing that he is your masterpiece. Amen.

Does that make sense Robert? Have you heard that before? What kind of experience have you had with God?

Depression is really hard. I think it’s hard because it’s something that you’re dealing with in every moment. It’s not like if you injure foot and you can take a break by sitting down – you know how it only hurts when you stand on it? With depression, it’s there all the time that you’re awake. So it’s not easy, but it IS possible. I can tell you from my own experience that it has been more than a decade since the last time I caught myself thinking that maybe it would be easier if I just wasn’t here. It gets better. It really, really does.

You’ve already done the hardest part – you made the decision to begin. You made that phone call, you’ve begun to arm yourself with knowledge. You’re fighting back which is really hard to do when you’re already down, but you are doing it an that is amazing. It’s not going to be fast, but that’s ok it doesn’t have to be fast. It just needs to happen, one step, one moment at a time.

The loneliness it partially the depression and partially a side effect of the depression. I know for myself, when I was in the thick of a depression the last thing I wanted to do was spend time with people or try to get to know new people or “go be social”. It felt impossible. Depression makes us feel more alone than we are – more hopeless – but it also stands in the way of some of the things we would normally do to be less lonely. It’s an isolating condition. But take a look at what you’ve already done – you’ve called the hotline, and you’ve commented here. Both of those steps are steps toward people and away from loneliness. I know it’s not the same as having someone to talk to over dinner, or someone to go to the movies with, but it’s a step. And all of those steps add up.

Do you ever read that website http://www.postsecret.com ? Every Sunday Frank (the guy who runs the site) posts about 10 postcards that people sent to him with their secrets written on them. A lot of people write about suicide – why they think it’s an option, or why they’re so glad they didn’t do it, or how someone else’s suicide affected them. Take a look at the site and be reminded that a LOT of people have felt what you are feeling right now and a LOT of people got better.

Use the resources the hotline gave you. See if there’s someone in your life that can walk through this with you. And feel free to write back on this post, I’m here.

Think of it like training for a marathon. For most of us if we just get up one morning and decide we’re going to run 26 miles…. it’s not going to go so well. But anybody can train to run a marathon. It takes a lot of work – more for some than others depending on what kind of shape you’re in when you start – but if you train, if you stick with it and do the work then just about anyone CAN run a marathon. You have to commit to the process. You have to set reasonable goals for yourself. (In our marathon example you couldn’t just count the full 26 miles as a victory. Every time you went out for a training run, that would be a victory. If the first day all you could do was walk to the end of the block and the next day you walked to the end of the block and one house further, that’s a victory.) You may find that your journey back to a healthier life looks like that. Some victories may look small to someone on the outside, but you and I both know that every step towards life is a victory. Every minute that you are not thinking about ending your life is a win.

I believe that you can do this. Your therapist probably agrees with me, so that’s two of us cheering you on. It’s not going to be quick, but it is going to be so very worth it.