What do I say to a friend who has a terminal disease?
What do I say to a friend who has been diagnosed with a terminal disease?
Advice: Always call and make some connection. “I just heard . . . and I’m sorry this has happened! Is there anything I can do?” Then stop talking – let the other person talk, yell, scream, get angry, etc. Remember, this is not about you – the feelings have to find a place to express themselves and you are there. This is the most important gift you can give that friend – let her/him express their feelings.
Let go of your own guilt feelings about past experiences of grief and remember this person’s grief is not about you – hear them out.
If the other person doesn’t want to talk, it’s because they don’t trust you enough.
Ask the person for lunch or drop by with a card or drop an encouragement card in the mail.
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But, always call. Someone else may be answering the phones, but leave your message so the person will know you called.
Dr. Muriel
