Why Do Good Girls Date Bad Boys?
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Cindy was smitten with her new boyfriend, Evan. They met at church, and he possessed many of the qualities that she had dreamed of in a man—except for his reputation of being the “life of the party.” Evan liked to visit a local sports bar and relax with his old college buddies. Cindy didn’t mind him hanging out with his friends. However, Evan occasionally went overboard and wound up intoxicated.
Whenever Cindy brought up the subject of his drinking, Evan agreed with her concerns, promised to quit, and told her not to worry about it. Yet, instead of distancing herself from Evan, Cindy dove deeper into their relationship, hoping that her affection might give him the incentive to change. She envisioned that she could help Evan mature into a better man. As they dated, she prayed for his improvement, gave him motivational tapes, and urged him to think of God and their future when faced with the temptation to drink.
Evan appreciated Cindy’s support, and after ten months of dating, he asked her to marry him. He still had occasional setbacks with alcohol, but they were less frequent than before. Cindy joyfully concluded that her influence was effective and her love would change him forever.
Soon after their engagement, however, Evan’s real estate business began to falter. Under stress, he started to work longer hours, and stopped by the sports bar on his way home. He swore to Cindy that he was just talking with his friends. Until one night, she received a call from the police. Evan was arrested for drunk driving. Cindy was devastated by his relapse. She thought Evan would change for her. Instead, his unresolved habits resurfaced and shattered her heart.
Cindy’s story represents a common occurrence among Christian single women of all ages. The problem happens when sincere Christian women ignore the nice Christian guys and pursue relationships with men known as “bad boys.” Worse, some ladies find themselves unable to break free from an attraction to men of ill repute. Since this situation is more widespread than many realize, let’s examine why this phenomenon occurs. First, how do you define a “bad boy.”
A bad boy is a man who seems outwardly attractive, but is unwilling to offer sacrificial love in a relationship. He is too immature and preoccupied with himself to share genuine compassion, concern, or acceptance. A bad boy lacks character and might exhibit the following behavior: lying, aloofness, irresponsible dreaming, fear of commitment, sexual promiscuity, addiction to substances or pornography, selfishness, hunger for power, disinterest in surrendering to God, etc.
In addition, a bad boy is not interested in true love, because real love requires consistent sacrifice. A bad boy will only sacrifice for someone if it’s convenient for him or if he gets something in return. He expects the woman to do most of the giving, while he ignores her needs or takes advantage of her. Yet, why do some Christian women find themselves attracted to bad boys?
Three key beliefs can contribute to this problem:
Reason #1 – He can be fixed.
Just like Cindy believed that she could change Evan, some women allow their “nurturing instinct” to affect whom they choose to date. In other words, a nice girl may view a bad boy as a “project” or someone whom she can help “fix.” This incident occurs when a woman acknowledges that her boyfriend has character flaws, yet believes she can help him mature or overcome his problems. Helping a man to “grow up” can play into a woman’s sense of significance.
Also, if a woman was abused or ignored by her father, she may not know how to identify character or real love. Worse, she may subconsciously think that her past pain can be erased by marrying a bad boy and making everything work out right.
The fallacy of this belief is that it’s impossible to make a man improve his character. He may fake integrity over the short-term, but a man will only mature when he makes the decision himself. All too often, a woman reasons that a bad boy’s character flaws will not harm her. She believes that she is insulated from the consequences of his dishonesty, addictions, or immaturity. Sadly, the girlfriend is usually the person who winds up suffering the most hurt. She hangs onto the relationship thinking her sacrifice will encourage him to improve. Months later, his abusive behavior destroys her self-esteem and drains the life out of her.
Reason #2 – He pursued me.
Bad boys tend to be more assertive than nice guys when it comes to initiating a dating relationship. Since most women want a man to pursue them, this aggressive approach can feel appealing. In addition, a bad boy may seem driven to make something out of himself. Women usually prefer a man who seems to have purpose in life. For example, some single Christian women complain that “Christian men are too passive or non-adventurous.” In other words, “nice guys” wait too long to initiate relationships or don’t seem to be going anywhere in life.
This criticism is a valid issue that Christian men should consider. For instance, do you know men who are too scared of rejection to ask a woman for a date? Are they too nervous to follow their dreams or the desires that God has placed in their heart? In his book, Wild at Heart, John Eldridge says, “When all is said and done, I think most men in the church believe that God put them on earth to be a good boy…That’s what we hold up as models of Christian maturity: Really Nice Guys. The answer is simply this: We have not invited a man to live from his deep heart.” One lesson that nice guys can learn from bad boys is to follow those inner desires that make them come alive.
Good girls date bad boys, however, when they lower their standards and accept any assertive invitation that they receive. Remember, you cannot spin gold from a pile of straw. Dating a guy with poor character, even if he pursues you, will still equal a poor relationship.
Ladies, this does not mean that you should date a man who is boring. On the contrary, date a guy who captivates you. However, take the time to discern that man’s character before you give him your heart.
Reason #3 – He’s so exciting.
Our society glamorizes the bad boy attitude–just look at who we consider the most popular singers and actors (Eminem, P. Diddy, Ashton Kutcher, Jack Nicholson, etc.). Bad boys draw attention to themselves, and their popularity or playful personality can be very attractive. The notoriety of dating a bad boy can touch a woman’s need for acceptance and significance. What some women don’t realize, however, is that their personal reputation can be tarnished by associating with a notorious person. If people don’t respect your boyfriend, they will have a hard time respecting you.
Bad boys may be fun, but the party never lasts. Vain pleasure always wears off over time. Thus, good girls beware. A bad boy may shower you with compliments, attention, and excitement, but the moment you cease to keep him happy–he will lose interest in you. Soon, he’s off looking for another woman to indulge his selfish heart.
Break the bad boy cycle
How can a “good girl” avoid dating a bad boy? The key lies in understanding your identity in Jesus Christ. Don’t define yourself by whether or not you have a boyfriend, because Jesus is the only Person who offers the unconditional acceptance that your heart craves. Your true identity is a beautiful, celebrated, daughter of God (Isaiah 62:3-4).
On the other hand, the affection of a bad boy is always performance-based. Jesus, however, sacrificed His life to love you without expecting anything in return. Your desire to feel cherished and complete can only be met by Christ (Colossians 2:10). If you do not learn to get your need for love met in Him, then your heart can be vulnerable to a bad boy’s charisma.
In addition, human relationships only experience intimacy when both parties sacrifice for each other. By definition, a bad boy is unwilling to offer you sacrificial love. So don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are immune to his lack of integrity. You must be willing to walk away from a man who is unwilling to sacrifice for your needs.
Also, don’t attempt to fix a bad boy’s character flaws. Only Jesus Christ can change a man, and it generally takes years to see real improvement. Change is possible, but a man must be willing to surrender himself to God and take action. First John 4:19 says, “We love, because He first loved us.” This verse reveals that a man’s ability to love a woman is only found in the life that Jesus offers to live through him. A real man knows that he can do nothing apart from Christ (John 15:5). Therefore, ladies, reserve your heart for a guy who will rely upon Christ to love you.
Bad boys may be more common than men with character, but waiting for a man with integrity is worth it. So kiss the bad boys goodbye, and say hello to true love in Christ!
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Here is the full reply I wanted to copy from my word-processor:
Hi Eliowy & Ruby,
My wife got to know our family, our love for Jesus, and saw that I was much like my dad (which she liked). She says “I chased him till he caught me”. Knowing that I was shy, she took the initiative to attract me, and finally I asked her out for a date and our courtship progressed.
Here is a true story of Courtship by Christ’s leading:
There is a small book in which 2 people are active in the church’s Young People’s Group. They get to know each other Spiritually, socially and intellectually. They even go on an inner-city crusade together. He says to her, “You should be spending this much time with the person you will someday marry, not with me.” To both their surprise, she answers, “Yes, I think you should talk to my dad about that.” He mentioned it to her dad, the Pastor, who said, “If your relationship were not pure, the Lord would have told me.” Soon after that they got to know each other emotionally, that is, they fell in love! After the wedding they got to know each other physically! What a beautiful sequence of events, as the Lord prepared them for each other!
It is important to note that they first got to know each other Spiritually, then intellectually & socially, and then emotionally, and after the wedding, physically. How sad, that in today’s world that sequence of often reversed!
I want to conclude by saying that God has a plan for each life, and we do well to thank Him in advance for leading us to find the partner that is in His plan for us!
Courtship by Christ’s leading:
There is a small book in which 2 people are active in the church’s Young People’s Group. They get to know each other Spiritually, socially and intellectually. They even go on an inner-city crusade together. He says to her, “You should be spending this much time with the person you will someday marry, not with me.” To both their surprise, she answers, “Yes, I think you should talk to my dad about that.” He mentioned it to her dad, the Pastor, who said, “If your relationship were not pure, the Lord would have told me.” Soon after that they got to know each other emotionally, that is, they fell in love! After the wedding they got to know each other physically! What a beautiful sequence of events, as the Lord prepared them for each other!
To eliowy;
I don’t think it’s a bad thing for a girl to ask a boy out for coffee or a movie. The subject, the important point is to set boundaries and set expectations right away and be clear and firm on that decision. That way the boy knows the ground rules of respect. If he says no or ignores them, he is not worth going out with. Any girl/woman needs a man who is willing to honor and respect the inner person, the person ‘that is not seen’-the eternal being. Going with someone because he likes the seen-your body, is devaluing the magnificent being that God created.
Stay true to you, you are magnificent, why not have some one with you who thinks so too. (no not ego, respect for self.)
While i agree i have to say the whole thing about christian girls letting guys know that they are available/would not reject a date is a problem. I mean i’v heard so many guys say that if they knew the girl liked them/would date them they’d ask. Girls, however, especially christian ones often don’t do any initiating since ‘its the guys role’ and not to bash that but then what are we supposed to do??!!
So Anthony, what role does God play in how you decide to pursue or not?
Hi Nathan,
Are you the Asian man spoken about above? I love to date people of all nationalities. I have taught 3rd grade for many years and am now entering the medical field. I would like to talk to you more. Sincerely, [***************] [email address edited out by Administrator. It is our policy not to publish personal email addresses and contact information on this website]
Wow…so sad to hear all these stories and heartbreaks. It’s hard not to get emotional in leaving my reply, but at the same time I want to be honest. All my life, I was considered a “nice guy” and obviously never got the girl. At the same, time I was not the typical attractive 6-1, 180, toned tall white American guy. I am the typical 5-7 Asian guy who is just average in looks. On top of that, I think being a Christian (reformed denomination) chased them (even Christains away).
I think the problem was because I was “so nice” they saw me as desperate and lacking confidence. There was probably some truth in that, but the main reason was because of stories like these and Christ put at an early age in my heart to treat women with utmost repsect. Yet, a lot of women misinterpreted my motives. As for attraction, beauty is in the eye of the be-holder…I don’t need to go into how superficial society is about appearance. Finally, about pursuing women, I would do that, but they always rejected me and would rather stay as friends. I don’t really pursue Christian women anymore because a lot of them I doubt are truly Christians (the ones I have run into) and I know by experience they would reject me so why waste my time? Again, this is not fear of rejection, but tired of getting the same answer of “too nice” guy. Confidence is not the issue, attitude might be, but it is wasting my time pursuing them when they say no. Yet, I hear of many Christian ladies complaining Christian guys never pursue them. I think the ladies need to look at themselves in the mirror first before criticizing all these men (look at how TV portrays men and husbands these days). Women have flaws they need to focus on too. Last point, I know the word “submission” is not well received (especially by Christian ladies). However, what Christ meant by submission was that the husband is suppose to die to himself (his needs first) and put his wife above his. That every decision he makes is for her benefit first and foremost. When, a wife can trust her husband has her needs first and his love is genuine for her, she will want to submit to his leadership (not tyrant control) because she knows he is doing it out of love and has her needs first. This is how he honors her. Like, if a ship (like the Titanic) ever was sinking and there was not enough life boats to survive, the husbands die! the women and children board the boats and the husband dies for them. Like, Christ said a husband is to love his wife like Christ loves the church. The men die and they will tell Jesus that their wives say hello!
Well Nathan, I hope you find a girlfriend. What kind of characteristics do you think make for a good girlfriend?
THIS IS NATHAN I WON’T A GIRL FRIND
Good point Reby!and as you said, there is more to a person than what is seen when parents or authorities are present.
Jen, it’s interesting that you recognized that part of the issue was your own low self esteem and what your parents think. You are the one that is in the relationship with them and you see how they are treating you.
A nice guy treats you with respect and caring all of the time, not just when authourity is there to be seen. A lot of ‘boys’are lost when it comes to identity of who am I? They might put on behaviours or attitudes, or might might communicate to themselves that this is the way to treat a woman/girl. One can read the bible, yet does he/she really understand how to apply what is being said?
now i know why they go after bad boys girls need to rethink of choosing guys wisely if they want someone nice in there future otherwise there screwed so maybe thats why girls go into bars and stuff
This article is the best I’ve seen about dating bad boys. It’s true the main reason I dated bad boys is because they pursued me! And not for any other reason. I didn’t think they were bad boys because they went to church, they had a good education, a decent stable job, came from non-divorced families, and even treated their moms really nice! They were polite, didn’t have drinking problems, didn’t do drugs, or smoke. My parents even approved! And yet, they were still the worst boyfriends I’ve ever had! They were horrendous cheaters and so very selfish. They eventually treated me worse and worse as time passed. And yes, I had low self esteem. Because my parents liked him so much, that really affected my thoughts on the guy.
Anyway, I hate how people assume girls choose boys who drink smoke or went to jail. Some boys act like good guys, but they have one MAJOR character flaw and makes them a bad boy. And from what I understand, pretty much ALL guys think they’re a good guy!
The point you make is very so true Kim, that you cannot expect a man who has no Biblical grounding to be able to understand Biblical concepts in relationships. I’m so glad that you are with a Christian guy now and at least you have the same basis to start with. That makes a huge difference.
I’ve dated the bad boy types.
I’ve had my heart broken by each and every one of them.
I do admit, that a couple of them has changed since I’ve been with them. But honestly, what a Christian girl wants is someone who holds the same values as them. Someone who is willing to love them with a sacrificial love.
Paul writes that a husband should love his wife as Christ loves the church. How can a man who has no Biblical rooting be able to understand that concept?
I have dated a guy who knew the Bible backwards and forwards but he was the bad boy. He lied about everything in the relationship and I didnt know it because he used the Bible to cover it all up.
I honestly agree with everything in this article. The only reason why I ever dated the bad boys is because they were the only ones who actually pursued me. I end up finding out years later that a Christian guy that I’d have a crush on liked me back and I could’ve avoided years of heartbreak. For the longest time I felt like I wasn’t good enough for Christian guys because Christian guys wouldn’t give me the time of day.
Now I’m with a Christian guy. Our relationship may not be perfect, but we’re trying. We don’t talk as much as we should about how we are feeling, but at least we’re trying.
Well! A lot of talk I must say.
I am going to lift this subject up in prayer.
I pray to all who respond to this article.
I pray that all will think wisely in there realtionships and not hurt the other person when they have a bad relationship. It me it is better that to not be in one if there is hurting to follow. I pray that you think aobut what you are doing to God the other person and yourself. In Jesus MightyNameamen.
I do not know why girls like bad boys. But I do know one thing. I am whats considered a nice guy, and I know my role in all this. I am your friend. I am there for you. I am there when he breaks your heart. I am there when he treats you like crap. I am there when he cheats. I will be there when he leaves you, and beleive me, he probably will. I will be there to help you pull yourself together. I will be the shoulder you cry on. I will be there. I know my place. I will never leave the friend zone unless you pull me out. I am there for you whenever you need me, unlike your “bad boy” who is only interested in getting into your pants. When will you women understand that we are here and that we love you? When will you inderstand we only want what will make you happy, and we see that this path only leads to destruction? Will you ever understand that we are here? Will you ever understand that we love you? I hope you do. Because if not, chances are that niether of us will ever be happy.
I don’t know why good girls like bad boys. But I am what is considered a nice guy and I know my role in all this. I am there. I am always there when he breaks your heart. I am always there when he treats you like crap. I am always there when he cheats. I am always the shoulder to cry on. Whenever he leaves, and believe me, he will, I will be there to help you pull yourself together. I will be there to talk to. I will be there. I know my role. I will never leave the friend zone unless you pull me out. I will always be there for you. Girls want a bad boy for a boyfriend, but they want us as just a friend. When will you women understand that we are here for you and love you? Unlike your “bad boy” who only wants to get into your pants. We are always here for you, and always will be. But will you ever understand that? I hope so. Because if you don’t, chances are niether of us will be happy.
I think the problem is people fear of being alone and not having anyone to love which is understandable. I am not a believer in God or the jesus thing, I think human beings have and will always have to rely on themselves for love and committment. Because I am not a woman I can’t imagine the thought of being along. But I think because women and men are raised so differently one has to understand that we are different when it comes to findning a mate. As men our worse fear is marrying the wrong woman. I don’t think men are afraid of committment men are more afraid of feeling trapped in a marrying when a woman goes through her changes. I also think people tend to have unrealistic expectations of other people which they don’t even place on themselves. The topic is about why do women go for bad boys. Of course we all know the media uses the bad boy image to promote and sell there product or shows. But at the same time uses sexy women to the same thing when it comes to a man. I mean how many 300lbs no offense playboy models do you see on the cover of playboy. Yes we men love the idea of a Good Girl for a mon and wife figure but when it comes to sexy we never look at the nerdy good girl as being sexy. If think if one men or women want to find true love, then you have to start with loving yourself. I do agree not everyone has a great childhood or great parents, I grew up in a home where my dad left us at a young age 5 kids. But you have to realize when you get to be an adult you then have the ability to live your own life. People in other parts of the world come from far worse situations. You have to make a decision my life is going to be better for myself and future children. Most of guys have all been bad boys in a relationship or two. I once dated a girl who was nice as hell i didn’t even have a car she would drive 30 miles to pick me up and i treated her like crap, I was alot younger and very immature i am not afraid to admit that I wanted to break up several times with her but didn’t have the heart to because I was a coward. Yes people can be abusive and mean has nothing to do with being a bad boy or girl because bad boys/girls suffer from self esteem and fear issues also. So what you have is women being raised to be helpers and hopers so a woman will mostly always see men as a helpless animal that she can patch up and make well. But when you have to realize is most celebs and men with money won’t change for super model looking women hes not really going to change for you. Women my advice is look for a man thats 100% right for you. Don’t settle because you don’t have to. A man should value you inside and out. Make sure when you are looking for a man he respects himself and his friends and family around him. Stop trying to make a man love you either he will or he won’t. If he wont move on and find one who will. For women you are the most beautiful flowers on this planet. We can and don’t want to live without you. Thanks
I think you totally missed the point ‘Good Guy’. God isn’t a myth and the neat thing is that He can and does totally met all of our needs and accepts us just the way we are which is awesome!
‘a good girl’, sounds like you have been through a lot and I am so sorry to hear the disappointment in your life for how your husband cheated on you. Having said that however I do agree that we are all flawed, but what is important and what we need to remember when dating is to make sure that we have common goals and beliefs otherwise our relationships will never be all they can be.
Wow, this is crazy! Bad boy whining about how he’s not good enough for the good girl but won’t leave her alone or change his ways, haha. Regardless of what’s been said, Satan does not control you, so get out there, roll your sleeves up and get to work on yourself because if you don’t you’re a dummy. You found a good girl, grow up and be a man or leave her alone and get over it. I agree with Martin up top because he’s honest. I’m a Christian and been through a lot too Martin so please don’t assume we’re all pansies or stuck up or judgemental. Good girls can change bad guys. They just have to be careful to remain “good” girls in the process and know when to cut loose a lost cause. Let’s talk about that “good” guy everyone loves so much…I married one, he didn’t drink, didn’t party, prayed, had a great job, good reputation, extremely responsible, etc. He cheated and is incapable of telling the truth. You take a risk either way people, it’s all about what you and the other person can look past, which is what love is about, because we are ALL flawed.
How do you know God is a myth? Maybe you should reevaluate your life.
I really find it amusing that Jesus is “the only one that will give you the acceptance you desire.” Are you aying that chicks have to wait until they die to find true love? God’s a myth to scare people. I suggest you reevaluate your ideals, and focus more on the life that was given to you rather than what comes after it.
Dear Butterfly,
I feel so sorry for you. I will include you in my daily prayers and pray for your happiness. Just be strong and move on from him. In the future never settle for less than you are worth. This is one of the most common mistakes woman make in relationships. What is sad is that i am sure in your lifetime you already the met man that truly loved you, ther man that god wanted you to with but your judgement was so clouted and you kicked him to the curb. Please don’t make this mistake again. You have the rest of your life so please make the best of it. Good Luck !!
i am married to a bully. i am christian and i thot he was to. we got married and he turned. he refers constantly to his ex wife and child. any text, email from her rattles him and the house turns upside down afterwards. he is very very verbally abusive. he gives me no money because i earn more than he does. he is so cruel and mean. he does absolutely nothing but make me clean up after him. when i dont transfer my earnings to his account, my house is on fire. i am no longer submissive in his eyes. i married him in desperation. i am 34 and was tired of waiting. its not that easy to leave. the pastors keep telling me to pray for him and everything will be ok. i think now. on my birthday i got nothing but a happy birthday text. he is always lamenting. i have dropped out of my masters programe because i couldnt keep up. i spend my entire life cooking and cleaning after him. was he bad when we met? no. he was the sweetest thing since sugar candy. an abusive man is an abusive man. i am planning to leave him but because i am african, it is soooo hard to live through a divorce. its like a stigma. ladies beware. a relationship is serious business. i didnt seek counsel before i got involved. others might have seen through him cos i didnt. when u like someone, your feelings do the thinking. becareful.
While the author of this article sounds credible and well intentioned, he seems to replace the need of a woman for a man with Christ himself! He claims that Christ is everything and while that is true, the author must not forget about what Genesis 2:18 has to say. Yet the authors seems either unknowledgeable or purposefully twisting the reality of God. For example, the same author claims in his ‘Does God Promise You a Spouse?’ article that he once heard God whispering to him “Rob, is the love of Jesus Christ enough for you? Have you allowed My complete forgiveness and unconditional acceptance to satisfy your heart?” How cute! For your record Mr. Eagar, Satan can very well replicate that convincingly in your heart and you fall for your new found Jesus Christ in the same heavenly clothes you once knew! Voila, and thus you have found your new belief! A new set of rules by which to accept and enforce the works of your embraced faith! The fruits manifest themselves when you go on to say that “suddenly, something clicked within my mind” when you realized that you “valued human love more than God’s love”. “When we demand that God bring us a mate, we block His love from enhancing our social life for our demand for marriage is a refusal of God’s love because we want our selfish desires met”! Weren’t these your self condemning words Mr. Eagar? Unless you have put them out of the reality context. How about Genesis 2:18 Mr. Eagar? Too painful to read? Tears coming down? Feeling lonely and crushed? Hehehehe! :)
I just read the article and I couldn’t agree more. I don’t have much luck with woman myself because I am not a bad boy. Seems that woman my age don’t like me because i am not exciting but i am a good man.
Here is my story:
I am in love with an indian girl who is in a bad relationship. She has been in this on and off relationship for about 5 years now. Her boyfriend treats her like crap. He cheats on her. He has told her that she is a nobody and will always be last in his life. She accepted those words from him and now thinks that he is just acting that way. Her and I met in a bar over a year ago and we became friends. She took my breath away the first time I looked at her. She still does to this day. Her boyfriend is basically a loser. He is 29 and doesn’t have a clear path in life. He works in a show store, likes to party, get drunk and smoke weed. I on the other hand am 34 Italian and have a good job as an investment banker. I tried to show her that her boyfriend has caused her to have self esteem issues and no self worth but she probably thought that I was trying to hurt her. I wasn’t…I love her that is why I told her. I would take a bullet in the chest for her. I recently paid to shut down the bar where we met so I could serve her dinner in a romantic fashion. For a while I didn’t understand how she couldn’t see what was happening for her. But, then I realized that she has never had this happen to her before so she wouldn’t know how to receive unconditional love. I told her about defining momements in a mans life meaning that all of the little things she was making me do for her were the defining momements in my life. To make a long story short she kicked me to the curb so she could stay with her boyfriend who cheats on her, degrades her and abuses her mentally and emotionally. I don’t understand why but maybe the unknown is more exciting than what is known. I can offer her happiness and security but he can’t offer her anything other than a good laugh at a party. She is also 29. At this age she should know right from wrong and be able to know that she is a doormat for him and he is dogging her. I really feel for her because I can only sit back and watch her ruin her life by staying with this guy. It is very sad that woman make these type of decisions. I have to go thru the rest of my life without the woman I love and she will go thru the rest of her life not knowing what it feels like to have a husband that loves her. I hear that she wake up someday and realize what she had or it may happen when one of her friends speak to her about the situation.
Charles, why do you call yourself “bad”? Either you enjoy this title or you have incredibly guilt because of your past lifestyle. It sounds like you have a great girl in your life. If she is the person God has for you, she will be able to move past your sexual history. Have you ever heard of renewed virginity? Regardless of your past, you can repent to God and be healed from your sexual past in order to move into a healthy relationship and marriage without guilt. If you wish to speak to someone further, Power to Change offers a mentoring program which is free and confidential. If you are interested, click here and a mentor will contact you.
ok. I am 25 yrs and a software developer. I was brought up in a christian home (mom very active in church), and I wasnt doing bad myself till I got done with Senior High School (That was when I was around 17 yrs), The turn around was just so sudden I am shocked myself, I just relapsed into your typical ‘bad-boy’ lifestyle – (The only thing I havent done is drugs- which I NEVER will)- Wild partying, drinking, sleeping with girls constantly (and seriously a lot of girls like me), It affected my most recent relationship because the girl always felt insecure around me (we dated for 8 months and I NEVER cheated on her)- my girl ‘buddies’ would not even care Im with her and would openly hit up on me in her presence and everything..so we eventually broke-up. Now Im starting to realize that Im not worthy of such a life and need to change and seriously its been SOOO difficult for me..I keep sliding back into my old nature..Now Im talking to this good girl I was in junior high school with (Her dad’s a pastor) and she ADORES me..she knows Im ‘bad’ but she seems to love me more because of that..I personally like her too but I just dont want to get into a relationship with her because I really care so much about her and wouldnt want to hurt her feelings (because I know deep down my heart that she deserves someone better), she’s trying to take me to church, make me pray and turn my life around whilst I seem to be spoiling her with the things I tell her (an due to her largely christian life she finds it so interesting! and loves talking to me..)..Now she’s shown me to her mum and keeps drawing my attention to the fact that she really likes me and would love to get down with me..but I just dont want to hurt her and thats what worries me soo much! She’s such a sweet girl that I wished I could just make her see that it would do her much good if she loved someone else, because I would hurt her (she’s a virgin! and the thought of me sleeping with her and breaking her heart, even breaks my heart)..I wished I could have changed my life before meeting her – Maybe an advice would be appreciated on what Im supposed to do
The books, DVDs, CDs, are all watering down the Bible. These are created out of the corporate christian culture and they are a danger to the true traditions and commands of Christ and His Church here on earth.
I was in school at the computer lab when a Protestant started to talk to me. I like this guy. I think he is a nice person and I was curious about his CAD work. So we got along very well. But he found out that I had been a corporate christian (for lack of a better label) for years and now I’m Catholic. He asked me why I would do it. I tried to explain that I was in the original Church; The post 2000 years original Apostolic Church. This is it. We can trace our Popes right back to Saint Peter (the first Pope).
We went back and forth with our opinions and then finally one day I asked him something. I said “Hey, I had an idea. I don’t fully agree with this community college that we’re attending and I think that I know better this school. How about you and I go off and start our own school. What do you think?” He knew I was trying to make a point so he replied “I wouldn’t leave this school. I may not agree with everything but I’m satisfied here. I think it’s a good school. I might leave the other school I went to for a while but not this one. It’s very good”. I said to him, “Then you are like me. I’m not leaving the Catholic Church for somebody who thinks they know better than this entire school with so much history, so many people dedicating their lives to this school and so much sacrifice that has been put into it.”
The idea is, out of respect to Christ and to all the blessed people of God who all contributed to our Church, I won’t leave it for some other church-of-the-whats-happening-now. If I have a problem with something in the Church, I can say something. I can bring it to somebody’s attention. They will listen. You can read that the Pope only asked Martin Luther to take back 41 of the 95 complaints against the Church AND gave him over a year to decide. It was very gracious of him. So they DO listen.
An example might be the shops. We could complain to a bishop that maybe we’re violating what we believe to be wrong. But let’s face it, these little shops are not the big money makers like the ‘rock and roll’ churches we see today. These shops supply Bibles to the Church members who need them, we have Rosary beads that help in prayers, we have post cards with has pictures of the beautiful building for tourists and pilgrims. Let’s face it, many Catholic Church buildings ARE tourist spots. We didn’t mean for this to happen. The idea was, if we build a house of God, we’re going to give it our best. It’s going to be the most beautiful building out of respect and as a service to God. It’s a labor of love from us to Him. You won’t find these shops in every Church. My Church in Esztergom Hungary has a tiny shop and it IS for the tourists and not to ‘market God’. The Bazilica is one of the 4th largest in Europe, I think.
Joel, I agree with many of your criticisms of the Protestant church. Although I respect a lot of Martin Luther’s ideas I also recognize where he was wrong, such as the antisemitism he developed late in life and how he disliked some of the canonical biblical books. Also, I too find it strange when people feel the need to misinterpret the wine referred to repeatedly in the Bible as being “grape juice” … I know people mean well, but in my opinion it’s hard to escape the fact that the early Christians consumed alcohol (in moderation of course).
Yet I feel as though I need to make some clarifications regarding your negative comments about this website. For example, there are “logos” on the website, yes. I still don’t understand what’s wrong with that? You say that “This website has a store and sells it’s “products” which it can sell by exploiting God.” Why is selling products which seek to glorify God and teach proper truth about God a bad thing? How is merely selling things “exploiting God”? I stayed at a Catholic retreat center a few years back which sold books and other items there. Was that also wrong?
If the products being sold are teaching incorrect doctrine, or if deceptive tactics are being used to sell them, then I would agree with you. But as far as I know, they do not. If it is wrong for this website to sell products, it is wrong for anyone anywhere to sell any Christian book, DVD, or any item at all. That seems ridiculous to me.
A few years ago I visited a large Catholic church, St Joseph’s Oratory in Montreal, Canada, and had the opportunity to browse through the two gift shops located inside the church. They have photos on their website here:
“The Gift Shop at Saint Joseph’s Oratory offers a wide variety of religious goods and sacred art for all tastes.”
Under your interpretation of Matthew 21:12, I’m not sure how the Catholic church could possibly allow something like that. Now, I have no interest in getting into a Protestant/Catholic debate, I am not trying to bash the Catholic church! I’m just trying to demonstrate that there are questionable practices to be found in all churches … in my mind both Protestants and Catholics are all saved under God’s grace and part of God’s universal (that is, all believing Christians, not universal in terms of universal salvation) church. There are unfortunately abuses in all churches, but I refuse to condemn all Catholics for the many past abuses in that branch of God’s church’s history, so hopefully you will be able to look past the abuses of other denominations that you’ve experienced as well.
This website has over a dozen LOGOS on it’s “about us” page. I don’t know Canadian corporate law but if this organization was in America, it would be almost positively a corporation. I think a non-profit is a form of corporation. Doesn’t matter, the site has many elements of what the men in Mathew 21:12 had. This website has a store and sells it’s “products” which it can sell by exploiting God. Now, I believe the members of this website mean well. In fact, I think they’re probably really great people. But God is not for sale and He is not a commodity or a product. this is a difficult concept nowadays. I find every single logo that has to do with God offensive. Why should I go to Bobs Insurance? Because he has a fish logo? Oh, right, he is a good insurance guy because he has a fish logo. In other-words, he is using God to sell his stupid products. That’s exploitation of God and it’s absolutely disgusting and God deserves better. Just think calmly and with an open mind about it please. As for me, I will buy insurance from a man who does the best job and who has ethics and integrity. For sure I won’t trust Bob who sold out God for money!
As for the article. I don’t know if it’s a true story but we could argue that it’s not an unbelievable circumstance. What we could argue is the mood and feel of the argument. Of the essay. It is tapping into peoples emotions in an unfair way. First, this is between a man and a wife and no marriage is perfect. We’re led to believe in this article that the man was hopeless. That was he was such a terrible guy. I think the woman was terrible because she could be going with him and driving him home. Or they could take the bus together and then both could drink. Drinking casually with friends and family is a bonding experience. Obviously you must be adult about it. If you’re an alcoholic or you fight when you drink, don’t drink. It seems that the Apostles drank too. I hear a lot of mention of wine in the Bible. Oh, sorry, to fit somebody’s doctrine, we will say it was grape juice. May bad.
As for scandals, well, I’ve seen many in the Protestant churches. The Church of England was founded on scandal. We had a scandal too in the Catholic Church. Do you remember Judas? ;-) It doesn’t mean that this is not the Church that Jesus told Saint Peter He would build. For over 2000 years now, the Catholic Church has protected the commandments, teachings and traditions of Christ.
In the 1500′s, a priest thought himself pretty smart. He felt he knew better than the entire Church. He even wanted to remove books from the Bible that -he- felt were not really from God. He used a new invention of the day to spread his propaganda. It was the printing press. Today, modern ‘churches’ use technology and charismatic leaders and teachings to captivate people away from the original Church of God and I personally feel a little angry that I too was tricked for many years. I went to churches services that could pass for rock concerts. I was there when the preachers invoked some sobby emotional response in order to stimulate people for the second offering. Then one day I read my history and I remember what I learned in the Bible and I realized that I was with the wrong people in the wrong church.
I know I wasn’t very polite here in my comments. I’m never very calm when I see God being sold. Of course, at one time I thought this same way. I really didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. Now I do and now I’m sharing.
Joel, I found your comments perplexing, misinformed, and misleading. You sum up the situation explained in the article by saying that a “man was drinking with his friends.” However the article clearly states that “Cindy didn’t mind him hanging out with his friends. However, Evan occasionally went overboard and wound up intoxicated.” The problem was drunkenness, which I assume as a Christian you agree is wrong. Was she a “good-goody” because she didn’t encourage him in his drunkenness? Furthermore, her boyfriend “agreed with her concerns, promised to quit” which he did not. Should she be blamed for that too? I’m not sure how this article “preaches against marriage”?
Furthermore, could you clarify which “corporate Christian logos” you find objectionable and why? This site is run by a non-profit organization. As it stands your accusations are slanderous and baseless. Organizations like FamilyLife Canada charge fees for their conferences because they are providing services which cost money to run. And it’s essential to point out that while there is no doubt “scandal, hypocrisy, exclusion, self righteousness and drama” are found in Protestant churches (and in Orthodox churches, which existed long before “Martin Luther and Queen Elizabeth I” for that matter) however surely you agree that the same kinds of “scandal, hypocrisy, …[etc]…” exists in the Catholic church? (I don’t think I need to cite examples of abuse …)
So there are some big problems that are unfortunately common in all church groups, not just “corporate christian churches” as you call them. That’s because these problems you listed are not church problems but instead are fallen human problems which not constrained to a particular denomination. I’m sorry that you had bad experiences in non-Catholic churches but that does not imply that all are evil or teach unbiblical doctrines.
This article is very self righteous and condemning. The man was drinking with his friends. What a criminal. Come on! Really? I mean, really? Why didn’t the wife pick him up from the pub? Why didn’t she go with him? Too goody-goody? Sorry, marriages are not as PERFECT as the person who wrote this silly article! Typical corporate christian website…preaching against marriage. No surprise.
This website is littered with corporate christian logos. It’s not cool. Matthew 21:12 God is not for sale and He isn’t here so that we can use Him to make a buck off of.
To the owners of this website, the Pope has welcomed all of the churches back into the fold. It was very nice of him. Some churches have come back and we welcome them and respect their wisdom, bravery, and strength. They’re smarter than me. I floundered around in corporate christian ‘churches’ for years and years. I saw a lot of scandal, hypocrisy, exclusion, self righteousness and drama! Since Martin Luther and Queen Elizabeth I, it has been crazy crazy useless drama all in the name of God. It’s terrible. The invention of the printing press gave people the tools to make religion fit THEIR beliefs and not what Christ and His Apostles taught us. Now this website is a tool to put somebody elses spin on what Christ taught us and it’s really superfluous. Why fight against what Christ built and gave to the world? Why not work with His Church instead?
I say do whatever you all want, I’m going to stick with the original Church that Christ built and whom all the Apostles were a part of building. But I’m not cool with this unbelievable ploy for making money off of God through a website. It’s not cool and God deserves BETTER than this!
Alana,
i don’t think so,being non-religious make any difference unless u dating Arabic or strongly religious guy.
u never know until u meet the guy and dealt personally with him for a while.
i know guy, who is always quite on work and behave like gentleman at work but get abusive on drinking and other stuff at home or at very personal settings.
having one bad habit doesn’t indicate he is bad guy, but u have to go with ur instinct or met him and figure it out.
some criminal or bad boys can be very pervasive and charming before they get Violent.
I don’t believe in God, for I am not Christian. As a matter of fact, I prefer to have no religion. Even though, I still like guys who are assertive. Even though I’m still in school, the guy I like is addicted to gum. He’s cute too, and he’s capable of loving, he does stay quiet, but could be mean sometimes. Is he a bad boy? :\
please, don’t mixed religion, god and ur lust together!
i m tall, masculine,rebellious.
i was known to be bad guy or more like macho guy in my high school life(engaged in many fight and other stuff) but than i m changed with age and become a good guy who is afraid or shy to approach a girl. may be i m still….i got more responsible due to responsibility. since than, i did everything myself!
on my work or other places, i helped many people voluntarily or listen girls lots of time. they told me very deep stuff that they never told someone else and like gentleman i kept secret.
i am not afraid or shy to talk to strangers as well as authority for wrong doing.i talked or confront big people in university where good or bad boys afraid to do so. i do thing right.
i gained reputation as good guys among many women but they all suggest to be remain good guy. why? i m not gaining anything, on the other hand liers are screw with many girls as possible as they can!
some people see me as cool or passionate guy but it didn’t helped me to find girlfriends.
i though, god has special plan for me but there is no clue yet.
right now i feel like stupid.
i hope u can give me some answer. specially girl.
i just do things with morals, like leam neeson from taken movie.
basically, i m that kinda guys, could be bad or good.
response will be appreciated .
o listen to your hearts.my advice is first not last go to god. you want something go and get it.if your are really as a good person as you claimed to be. your desires are from god, and god said delight in me and i will give you the desires of your hearts.you like a christian girl? tell her, live life, the thing is that god wants you to act,not only talk about the things you want but you have to go and get.good girls love bad guys o well.not every good girl is going to heaven. you want to have sex before marriage? you want what other worldly girls have?its always about us isnt it? what we want.its always me, me,me,me.always looking always wants to know. i know one thing if you wants something to god doent wants for you, and you go and get it. dont come and cry to god. live life, get girls, do this get that, remember you will be judge in the last day, for the things you have done in this world.
This article is so funny. I was liking this guy and I of course thought that he was the one that would fill the void that my last bad boy left. But my spirit wont let me. I mean I pretty much read him from head to toe and I see the depth of his pain and it is deeper than anything I can reach. Anyway I am aware it is not my place to do that but Jesus place to do that. So anywy. I had decided that I would just have a romp in the hay with him one time but even that feels wrong so I am still lonely. I have a relationship with Christ but that does not fill the internal void that I have to have a male by my side. I have always wanted that more than life and I always will. In essence also i am not a good girl. I have some of the bad traits like my father had so I understand why he is the way he is. However I can’t fix him but why can’t I have a little fun?
Sarah:
Get out. Get out. Get out. Rely on your friends, family, therapist, self-help books, whatever it takes. End the relationship. Don’t worry, it won’t be long before the man-boy finds someone else to mother him. Find your own strength, establish yourself as an independent woman who appreciates but does not NEED a relationship to feel like a whole person. Hold out for a relationship with a man who lives and behaves as a grown adult man should, and then, as a mature adult couple, you can have children who actually need you as a mother. THAT is God’s will. Just imagine yourself having babies with the man-boy – you would have to continue to be a mother to him along with your babies, and everyone would suffer for it, especially you. Let him go. For your sake, and the sake of your future children.
Thx for everyones advice, i am currently trying to end one of these bad boy good girl relationships which has been terribly difficult for me. I love the guy and feel more like a mom to him than a girlfriend. He has told me all his problems and confided in me many times. I feel like by breaking up i am going against Gds will and wont be helping my boy. Ive been told not to bring myself down by helping others. But like mosr things its easier said then done. I appriciate this article.. If anyone has more advice for me that wld be great…9
One of my mates openly told me that he’s the kind of guy that girls sneak out of their homes to see and Im the kind of guy that girls can carry home to their parents…Fine..Im what you might term as a nice guy…Im always a gentleman, very well spoken etc…When it comes to the ladies however…I have no luck.I try and it just doesn’t work..I think my problem is that of confidence and my general approaching of women is shocking…I usually choke when I want to express my feelings..soo much so that girls faster become my friends and if I do find the courage to express myself…they tell me that they don’t see me that way..or they dont want to affect our friendship etc…My mate on the other hand gets girls very easily..it like he knows exactly what to tell them…There was this one girl I really liked..she had a boyfriend that literally treated her horribly…he’d cheat on her in broad daylight( a lot of girls were always all over him)..he’d hit her a lot leaving scars all over her and on top of all that..she’d always say that she loves him and all that…I don’t kno why or how…all I kno is that she now has a child for him and he is nowhere to be found!!!As for my mate..he changes women like underwear…..Im utterly despise the way good girls fall for these type of guys….I can’t find it in myself to treat women badly..or use them..however as much as I despise the way these ‘bad guys’ treat good girls I do sometimes wish I had as much luck with women as they do…there is an absolutey beautiful Irish woman I know..She told me that when she was younger she had no taste in good guys..she’d always chase them away..Now she has like 4 kids for different men and told me that she wishes she got with a good guy to begin with….
girls is mad and boys is good because iam boy and i trust on boys not on girls.i know boys is bad but i trust on boys
37 yo guy here- I’ve lived all over the US- from LA to po-dunk Columbia, SC.
The less a woman has had to work for her lifestyle, the more she is likely to fall for a ‘bad boy’ Parents wanting the best for their little princess spoil the crap out of her and buy her all these fancy toys.
When it comes to dating, having this artificial view of what it takes to sustain her lifestyle, she chooses the bad boy for the reasons the author states. Different/ exciting/ etc etc.
On the other hand, take a woman- don’t spoil her, make her work for what she has, be a good parent and instill family values and the rest will fall into place.
She will see right through the bad boy mystique…
This is why intellectual us born non-bad boy types often have foreign wives. Less attitude and better looking.
Sorry, argue as you may but latin america takes the ms universe title just about every time I’ve ever bothered to look…
I had a very destructive relationship with this bad guy about five years ago . He was two years younger than me, he’s good looking, tall, and talented. He was also a student journalist like me when we met. There was no formal courtship between us and what we had was a whirlwind romance. Three months we’re okay and the relationship was blissful especially for me…well, I thought I was a wall flower and it was a boon for someone like me to get noticed by someone like him…so I thought. But the magic worn off in the preceding months. He tormented me through verbal abuse, he tried to change my outfits, my make up, my hair cut, and almost everything about me. He thought at times I was ugly because I had full lips… he was always surrounded by younger and prettier women. And to my misery these women always try to pursue him, seduce him, touch him in front of me…and one time caught him with his so-called female best friend after their movie date. While there was I, thinking he attended a rehearsal for a dance to be presented in his physical education class…I was fooled. That was truly devastating for me. My self esteem crumbled, I was so insecure…he always tell me how possessive and jealous I have become, that I am a people-pleaser.well, I became one. He literally never greeted me during my birthday and never showed up because he was mad at me. Instead he told me, we’re better off as friends and later, popped the statement he wanted out because he no longer love me. I begged off not win him back I was tired of hurting I just want to know what happened, I was literally on my feet because I wanted to know why. But just like that he dumped, just like that, that easy. My heart, my soul, and my spirit were all crushed that I wanted to die.
However, studies and career wise, the break up proved beneficial on my part . Everything went by smoothly in these two aspects.But when night time comes and I’m left with myself struggling and dying inside. I started to rebel to be bitter,I became a player myself and worse had two sexual relations with two guys…that was five years of confusion, grief,and hopelessness. Until another inopportune event came, the death of my best friend. It had been God’s wake up call to me because my best friend committed suicide because of her “bad boy” ex boyfriend. That guy pushed her to kill herself, asked her to literally hang herself to prove how much she loves him (she was then on the verge of an emotional and mental breakdown and did it). I was grief stricken, what happened lead me to learn about my self destruction and what I have done these past few years. I realized I don’t have to reach that point no matter how distressed and depressed I was. It was in a way an eye opener too that I still have the chance to get my self together. I left who I was “playing fire” with at that time and tried to see thing through, salvage whatever hope I had at my disposal to make up for what I did to myself…gradually I started to pray again and attend church as often as I can.I sought professional help to therapist friends too.I took my job seriously and learned to love it. I enrolled at my Alma mater and pursued a graduate school course. and now,in a year, am about to embark on my thesis and finish soon.I wrote articles, poetry,sketched pictures again. I contacted my old friends whom I forgot throughout my ordeal and my depression.I apologized to people I hurt, reconnect with my family especially my mom and made peace with myself. I know that I can’t reverse what I did to my life, and there are times I slip…there are also setbacks towards my desire for change but I continue to fight to achieve it. life must go on, all I can do is to treat my self better, the ones I love, and other people.I try to live the life and the things that which my friend missed and won’t be able to do anymore. I condition my mind and my heart that there is always something to look forward to everyday, something that would make life worthwhile and happy. I’m still single as of now, I met him (the bad guy) recently, and he said sorry and he still has feelings for me. It’s okay though, but I won’t run after him anymore because I am now aware that I am not anybody’s doormat, not his rag. Love might just be there waiting in the wings and I believe I am fated by God to be with a man who would love me for me. He just haven’t come yet but I’m willing to wait.
I had a very destructive relationship with this bad guy about five years ago . He was two years younger than me, he’s good looking, tall, and talented. He was also a student journalist like me when we met. there was no formal courtship between us and what we had was a whirlwind romance. Three months we’re okay and the relationship was blissful especially for me…well, I thought I was a wall flower and it was a boon for someone like me to get noticed by someone like him…so I thought. But the magic worn off in the preceding months. He tormented me through verbal abuse, he tried to change my outfits, my make up, my hair cut, and almost everything about me. He thought at times I was ugly because I had full lips… he was always surrounded by younger and prettier women. And to my misery these women always try to pursue him, seduce him, touch him in front of me…and one time caught him with his so-called female best friend after their movie date. While there was I, thinking he attended a rehearsal for a dance to be presented in his physical education class…I was fooled. That was truly devastating for me. my self esteem crumbled, I was so insecure…he always tell me how possessive and jealous I have become, that I am a people-pleaser.well, I became one. He literally never greeted me during my birthday and never showed up because he was mad at me. Instead he told me, we’re better off as friends and later, popped the statement he wanted out because he no longer love me. I begged off not win him back I was tired of hurting I just to know what happened, I was literally on my feet because Iwanted to know why. But just like that he dumped, just like that, that easy. My heart, my soul, and my spirit were all crushed that I wanted to die.
However, studies and career wise, the break up proved beneficial on my part . Everything went by smoothly in these two aspects.But when night time comes and I’m left with myself struggling and dying inside. I started to rebel to be bitter,I became a player myself and worse had two sexual relations with two guys…that was five years of confusion, grief,and hopelessness. Until another inopportune event came, the death of f my best friend. It had been God’s wake up call to me because my best friend committed suicide because of her “bad boy” ex boyfriend. That guy pushed her to kill herself, asked her to literally hang herself to prove how much she loves him (she was then on the verge of an emotional and mental breakdown and did it). I was grief stricken, what happened lead me to see through my self destruction and what I have done these past few years. I realized I don’t have to reach that point no matter how distressed and depressed I was. It was in a way an eye opener too that I still have the chance to get my self together. I left who I was playing fire with at that time and tried to see thing through, salvage whatever hope I had at my disposal to make up for what I did to myself…gradually I started to pray again and attend church as often as I can.I sought professional help to therapist friends too.I took my job seriously and learned to love it. I enrolled at my Alma mater and pursued a graduate school course. and now,in a year, am about to embark on my thesis and finish soon.I wrote articles, poetry,sketched pictures again. I contacted my old friends whom I forgot throughout my ordeal and my depression.I apologized to people I hurt, reconnect with my family especially my mom and made peace with myself. I know that I can’t reverse what I did to my life, and there are times I slip…there are also setbacks towards my desire for change but I continue to fight to achieve it. life must go on, all I can do is to treat my self better, the ones I love, and other people.I try to live the life and the things that which my friend missed and won’t be able to do anymore. Icondition my mind and my heart that there is always something to look forward to everyday, something that would make life worthwhile and happy. I’m still single as of now, I met him (the bad guy) recently, and he said sorry. it’s okay though, but I won’t run after him anymore because I am now aware that Iam not anybody’s doormat, not his rag. Love might just be there waiting in the wings and I believe I am fated by God to be with man who would love me for me. He just haven’t come yet but I’m willing to wait.
So first of all i noticed my email wasnt posted on on here so here it is for anyone who would like to talk Including the publisher of this article Martinn1017@yahoo.com.
I am 18 yrs old been in and out of juvi on and off probation or parole. I finally got completly off june 11th. just a little background. I am a bad boy. My girlfirend is a good girl a lady and the tramp sort of thing we have going on. Now you say bad boy are incapable of being good lovers pretty much. This is not true by any means. It is not only Jesus Christ who can change a bad boy. Everyone I dont care who you are can change with out the help of any outside source. You have to realize alot of us “Bad Boys” as you put it. Have been through more stuff in our lives at very young ages than most of you, “good” people could deal with. If you guys ever had to deal with half of what ive been through you would go insane. Our pasts and the things that we had no control over have a strong influence over our beleifs and actions. You people choose not to look at that side though. Chritians in general are overly judgemental they see what we are on the outside and judge before they have any clue of who we are, what we have been through, or our personalities. Most of us “Bad Boys” are more intuned with our emotions and ourselves than anyone else. Some of us are the nicest people you will meet. But you dont give us the chance to show you who we are. You see how we dress, how we present or carry ourselves, the music we listen to, and judge us. And ive noticed it is chritians that do it more than anybody. None of you are open minded. You are very close minded toward what you beleive to be wrong. Now i know where you will go with this. Turn to god blah blah blah. I used to be a very devout christian. Until I started noticing how you people truly are. I am not gonna be like that. Yes I beleive in god all that fun stuff. No i do not go to church no i do not associate with people that go to church or are highly devout because that whole group of people are stuck up and dont give a shit about other people outside of their Creed or their beleif of what is right.
To Adam…
I suggest you do more research. Your response sounds more like you are making excuses so your girl will stay with you. I pray her family and friends help her to stand firm.
I know because both of my daughters have been there. One finally saw the truth and is now happily married once she realized how immature he was. I am also very pleased to say that the ‘bad boy’ changed his life after many years and is now doing ver well. My younger daughter is now in the same place and I will continue to be honest and truthful with her and my prayer is that she will see the truth soon.
Realize that the ‘bad boys’ are not our enemy just souls who Satan is using. My sincere prayer is that you will totally commit to God and start the journey to changing your life forever.
Walk in God’s will not your own…it will make a vast difference in the path you are on.
im a guy and if i m a good guy but im considered a bad boy. i think your pretty much misinformed and dont know what your talking about. at least a bad boy is willing to serender too god in the first place and a lot of bad boys go on to pastor large churches and large organisations. girls if you wana marry a wineer dont buy this article its written by a women that has no idea off men and probably has life of secret sin herself. good luck girls
I’m wondering what the date is that this article was written. I’m refering to it in a research project. Thanks. :-)