Comments on: Why Do Good Girls Date Bad Boys?

By: Jamie

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 21:48:49 +0000

am glad to hear that you have come to the discussion that this is not the man for you. There is no reason for you to be subject to that kind of treatment. If you have reason to be concerned about his daughters’ safety than you have a legal responsibility to inform the authorities. You will need to have some specific allegations though and not just guesses.

As far as telling his ex-wife, I would only if you have a good relationship with her. Likely there is nothing that you reveal that she is not already aware of unless, as I said before, you have some specific allegations of the girls’ safety and well-being compromised.

Lord God, I pray for Patty as she tries to discern what course of action to take. I pray that You would help her to act wisely and in the best interest of the girls. I ask that you would protect her from this man and keep her from falling victim to his anger. And I pray for these two girls that You would guard them from being harmed by their father. Help him to be transformed so that he provides them with a godly influence. Amen.

By: Mika

Mika — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 22:20:12 +0000

Patty,

Im sorry for your discovery. If what your saying is correct then what you recieved was red flags. He does not appear to want you. Deal with the rejection and do not be spiteful about it. It hurts but.it takes your focus off of other possibilities.

By: Patty

Patty — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 18:54:32 +0000

I had a relationship with a man on and off for a year, who is a father of 2 young girls 10,13. He was very protective of his daughters so much that he never even let me meet them, saying he never let any woman he dated meet them. He is 5 years younger than me, Im 55. He always was very private with his life and we just never developed a close enough relationship, thanks to him, to allow it to progress. I admit all my life I have been attracted to the “bad boy” however when my husband from my marriage over 20 years ago, put a loaded gun to my head when I asked for a divorce I thought I was pretty much done with that kind of man. I must admit I do get bored with “average men” and need that excitment the bad boy brings and I doubt it will change now. However after 6 months of not having this man with the young daughters in my life physically, I still miss him even after trying to move on with other relationships. I text him often, he usually replies with hateful comments agreeing to see me once only to change his mind. He really had the ability to be kind and gentle often, never physically mean with me over that year and I kept thinking he’ll change. But now he is apparently heavily involved with porn, porn sites and multiple women. He was raised Catholic, daughters go to Catholic school and he states he has belonged, though doesn’t attend regularly to a Nondenomintional church. I would never be with him at this point, but I’m concerned about his daughters. Should I get the information I have to his ex-wife as he has his daughters with him almost daily?

By: Andrew

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 20:02:33 +0000

The article that was written was intended for woman who are being pursued by immature boys who hide their insecurities being so called bad boys. In my life it was reversed I pursued the bad girls who appeared to be sweet only they turned out to be mean, abusive, and destructive towards me. I did marry one of this nature who would have destroyed me if I allowed her too as I mistakenly believed that I would have the ability with my insights to change her. It was me who ended up making a choice either leave Christ and keep on the path I was going or choose to stay married. I decided to become free which was difficult but a blessing as well as I had biblical grounds for divorce.

For the woman who are contemplating getting married to a boy who does not demonstrate the true character of Christ’s love then one day you will wake up and discover what it really means to be alone. He will stray and find other woman who will most likely become pregnant by him as he will get tired of you and your feeble attempts to change him. The issue is often we don’t look to Christ to guide us as are thinking is polluted and warped due to what the world teaches us. How do we change the behavior? The answer is found in Romans 12: 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Getting involved with a bad boy/girl is like inserting your hand in a waterfall and thinking you have the strength to not go over the water falls due to your strong character. BAD boys/girls are this way because they are broken inside and they only know how to feel whole by destroying another via sexual abuse,physical abuse, mental abuse and working to destroy your spiritual life as they can never understand the love of Christ!

God Bless

By: Mark

Mark — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 13:58:21 +0000

It can be difficult being a young Christian boy or young man, being the “nice guy” when trying to compete for the attention of Christian girls. When I was a Christian teen, I knew Christian girls in my Sunday school class that preferred non-Christian boys. Their reason was that they complained that Christian boys/young men were too naïve, immature and insipid. These young women learned too late that the excitement ends sooner or later and that their worldly suitor is insensitive, irresponsible and egocentric.
Another reason why good girls and even bad girls are attracted to bad boys is for a feeling of security. A young girl may have many suitors at her beck and call but a tough “bad boy” will protect her from the bores and the nerds. As the couple gets older, when they are no longer in school or college, the need for protection somewhat wanes and the bad boy has outlived his usefulness. As a police officer, I have been to family disturbances where the man will tell officers that his wife is not the same woman from their younger days. “She used to like it when we would hot rod around in my pick-up, drink beer and she laughed at my Chewbacca imitation”. When the woman would speak to officers, she would say, “I’ve grown up, he hasn’t”.
My only advice for Christian girls/young women is to think ahead. Ask yourself “what would this man be as when we are thirty? Will he be a good provider? Will he be loyal? Does he have a relationship with Christ our Lord? Also, Christian girls/young women need to seek council from older Christian women who have been married and know what it is to have a good Christian husband and father to your children.

By: Jamie

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:36:30 +0000

I am happy for you Johanna that you have found a man who loves you for who you are. It is an important part of relationships to find happiness in each other. But let me caution you that a person who spends a lot of time under the influence of alcohol is soon controlled by it and led down a path to destruction. Just because he is happy today does not mean he will stay that way. There are many wives and many children who will agree that a drunk man is a danger to all who love him.

By: johanna

johanna — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 21:15:56 +0000

well i kmow that bad boys is something you like my boyfriend is a bad boy he does not know how to get out of truoble he likes to party to drink and goes to raves but he had never ever lay a hand on me but i like it because he makes me happy he knows when to be sweet and does not care about my looks either but is beacuse a boy looks for a good girl also.

By: Jamie

Fri, 16 Dec 2011 21:56:35 +0000

Can I elaborate on your “take-away” Michael? Yes indeed, the world we live in is fallen and in need of redemption. The inner voice we need to listen to is the Holy Spirit who is directing us so that we can avoid the temptations that this fallen world throw at us. He will help us to know how best to get along with culture we live in without selling out. One of my favorite promises from the Bible is Galatians 5:16 “If we walk by the Spirit we will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” Walking by the Spirit is a moment by moment attention directed towards the Spirit looking for how He leads us and teaches us. So in the context of this discussion of ‘good girls dating bad boys’ good girls can depend on the Holy Spirit to lead them of who they are to fall in love with and how to love that boy.

By: Michael

Michael — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 18:00:43 +0000

Interesting site — and thread!
I found myself reading everything (including comments) word-for-word. I happened across this page looking for honest “testimony” from people in the midst of real experiences. I find myself both heartened — and horrified at the same time! I say that in response to both those commenting and the moderators. While I don’t have all day to elaborate, my overwhelming “take-away” from this site is that we live in a fallen world — and people need to trust their inner voices more. However, the strong secular societies of the modern era have — and continue to be a force to be reckoned with! As one person posted: “If you live in North American culture, you need to live by its rules or you never get around.” So true! The trick is to get along — without selling yourself out. It’s a hard thing to do and takes a strong sense of self.

In closing, there is no such thing as a truly “committed” relationship until a ring is involved (at least an engagement ring). This harkens back to our Grandmothers’ era! So. . .to the guy who realized he still has strong feelings for a prior girlfriend who is back in his life: who gives you the MOST peace and contentment?? Which one embodies the goals and aspirations set forth in your heart?? If you lost everything but the shirt on your back, which one would still stand by you and be an equal partner moving forward?? Just a few things to consider! Sail on. . .and take inventory of the blessings around you.

By: James

James — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 18:00:26 +0000

you got all wrong; if the “good” girls like the bad one, you surely got it all wrong. the one who thinks like that is horribly mistaken. Let’s put it bluntly, I rather date a non-christian girl than even talk to a christian girl for anything. At least, the non-Christians have their problems right in front of them not hidden behind their faith. If you live in North American culture, you need to live by its rules or you never get around. God said this and that, so what; wait forever and you will be alone. If God really freed me then I will fear no one and nothing. I will live every moment for every moment’s sake not for some dream, because I gave them all up when I met Jesus, so I won’t worry about them. By the way you guys really love to judge everyone…”good” girls, “nice” guys, “bad” guys. If you are a nice guy, and you want a christian girl but you don’t want to give up all to Jesus then do the following: Get a job that pays, own your own house and your own car and get involved in your church; the girls will be all over you!