I’d been praying for a husband for a long time. In fact, I adapted Hannah’s request for a son in I Samuel 1:11 to my situation: “O LORD of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a [husband], then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life…” (English Standard Version)
I revealed this request to a married friend, but she remarked, “You should be content no matter the circumstances,” then addressed how Hannah was wrong Hannah to “bargain with and try to manipulate” God.
I disagreed with her interpretation of Hannah, because her prayer seemed heartfelt and honest, and even as much as she wanted a child, it was not an, “If you do this, I’ll do this, God,” kind of bargain. She was simply making her requests known to her Lord, whom she knew personally and deeply.
That’s what I wanted to do with my request for a husband, but I also agreed with my friend that I should be content no matter what my circumstances. But was my request rooted in a lack of contentment?
In Philippians 4, the Apostle Paul talked about contentment. “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances,” he wrote. (Philippians 4:11) Yet Paul suffered through many hard times. He was imprisoned unjustly, and also he endured an unknown, constant physical affliction. And still he insisted he was content. The word he uses comes from the Greek “autarkace,” meaning to be satisfied with one’s lot or means independent of external circumstances.
So how does this compare with today’s Christian, especially those living in an increasingly materialistic world?
As humans, we’re born with an insatiable hunger for more. Children want more toys, different toys, bigger toys. When we grow up, we want nicer cars, more clothes, and exotic travel. If we’re single, we want to be married, if married we want children, if we live in an apartment, we want a house. Whatever it is, we have a propensity to want more and more. If you think, “I’ll be happy when/if (fill in the blank),” then that’s not true contentment.
Instead, we can actually take a lesson from Hannah, and ask God to change our circumstances, yet trust Him regardless of the outcome.
In a sense, true contentment is simply a matter of trust—trusting in God despite our situation, and accepting and finding satisfaction in whatever He gives us.
Even in my fervent prayers for a husband, I began to discover that contentment wasn’t really about getting what I wanted, but it was more a matter of changing my perspective to want what God gave me. More than that, it is about putting my confidence in the God who holds the whole world in His hand. Being content requires that we trust that God knows what He’s doing. (And He does!) Giving thanks in all circumstances helps us be, even the ones we don’t like. It’s an attitude, a choice.
Real contentment comes when we stand back and say to ourselves, “I don’t need this to be happy.”
But none of this happens without being confident in the Lord and His plan. Reading the Bible daily has made all the difference for me. It helps me get to know the Lord and continually aligns me with His will and reminds me that He can be trusted no matter the circumstances.
I didn’t like turning 30 without a diamond on my left ring finger. If I would have had my way, I would have gotten married at 21. But I knew that God had it under His control. I still hoped. I still prayed. My journals are jammed with prayers for a husband.
Similarly, friends of mine were unable to have children for a long time. They conceived and miscarried. They conceived a second time and lost the unborn baby again. Then they conceived yet again, and finally had a son. A few years after John was born, they miscarried again. They want more children, but to interact with them for any amount of time, you would think that all they ever wanted was their one child. They are satisfied with one. They delight in the one. Yes, they want more children, and they are honest about it—but they are enjoying the gift of a son that God has given them. They pray for more, but they know that God has a plan for their lives and that they are walking in it.
As they follow God, they understand that though they are not getting exactly what they want, God uses the trials and hardships to draw them—and us—closer to Him and make us more like Him.
Being content is not dependent on God’s provisions, material or otherwise—it’s consciously choosing to believe God.
The Greek philosopher Epictetus said, “I am always content with what happens, for what God chooses is better than what I choose.”
I’ve been to a handful of the poorest countries in the world. I’ve seen people who did not know where their next meal would come from or if they’d have one, and yet, they often had a joyful spirit. They take care of their meager stash of belongings, and they love and value people. One family I met lives on the same amount in a year as what a middle-class American earns in a week. Yet, the middle class is often dissatisfied in life, wanting more.
For everything we have, we are simply stewards of it as a gift from God. Our money is His. Our cars are His. Our families are His. Everything that “belongs” to us really belongs to God. We deserve nothing and everything we do receive is a gift from God.
Including my husband.
For more than 10 years, I waited and hoped and prayed for a spouse. I understood the limitations of modeling Hannah’s prayer—just because God gave her a son (and later a full quiver) wasn’t a promise that He’d give me a husband. I simply wanted to make the desires of my heart known to my God.
And although God may not have brought Kevin into my life when I wanted Him to, I learned a bit about true contentment in the time of waiting.
Related reading:
Online interactive life study: Struggling with Contentment
Are you experiencing the Spirit-filled life?
Tags: contentment, hannah, happiness, Jennifer Abegg, marriage, Men, patience, prayer, relationships, Women
Connecting Through Technology
Do you use technology to stay in touch with family and friends?
>Watch
This talk or study on Hannah and contentment was beautfiul for me! I am usually very content but lately I have had a glimpse of something from God that he is doing in my life. Now, I’ve been blessed and also given revelation of some things God needs me to do to get my life in order, but I still have caught myself being anxious and when I saw this I immediatley realized I was not being content. thank you for the reminder. When I read that you are now married I actually cried joy for you! Beautifully written and very very helpful. I have 2 pages of notes, a cleaned up and convicted heart and back in line!!! :)
Thank you so much for writing this article. I have a child and have never been married and have constantly struggled with always wanting to have a husband and a family. I know that I don’t want a husband just to have a husband. Reading your article reminded me that God has His own plan for me and that I do need to be content with my life and trust Him and follow His path…..it always leads in the right directions, sometimes we just need a little reminder to trust and follow it.