My Husband Doesn’t Share My Faith

Written by Nancy Kennedy

doesntsharefaithI’ve rehearsed this scene in my mind 10,000 times: My husband, Barry, walks through the front door and says he has a surprise for me. He asks, “What’s the one thing you want most in the world?” At first I’m confused, but when I look into his eyes, I know. He doesn’t have to say it, but he does anyway: “I’ve given my life to Christ.”

But after years of praying, waiting, and hoping, so far that’s still a daydream.

Barry and I met and married 28 years ago. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing: He liked my then-red hair and green eyes; I liked his broad shoulders and sense of humor. Plus, he was easy to talk to. As unbelievers, neither of us had a clue what our future would be. We just thought a life together would be a kick. A relationship with Christ was the last thing on our minds!

Our first three years of marriage were filled with partying, softball, and the birth of our first daughter. Then, almost without warning, God drew me into a relationship with himself. After overhearing some Christians in the office where I worked talk about heaven, I began asking questions. Although I’d attended church as a child, I knew nothing about the Bible and salvation. Then one day after a long talk with Rita, one of my coworkers, I prayed a simple prayer: “Jesus save me!” That prayer forever changed my life—and my marriage as I knew it.

I wrote the handbook on how not to win your spouse to Christ

Unfortunately for Barry, right from the start I was one of those obnoxious “Jesus freaks.” I didn’t share my new faith with my husband; I pushed, forced, and shoved. Believe me, I wrote the handbook on how not to win your spouse to Christ. I didn’t speak, I preached. I didn’t live out my faith quietly; I trumpeted my every minute change. I’d say, “See what God’s done in my life? See how loving and humble I now am?” I prayed loudly in Barry’s presence and made sure he knew he was a sinner destined for hell. I even packed gospel tracts in his lunch and added a Bible verse at the end of all my love notes to him.

To Barry’s credit, he remained incredibly patient. (Maybe he was just tuning me out.) Most of the time he avoided my religious rampages by tinkering with our car. Sometimes, though, he’d get angry and yell, “Stop with all the Jesus stuff!” Barry told me he threw the gospel tracts away because they embarrassed him in front of his friends. Once in a while he’d get a pained look on his face and say he wanted his “old wife” back—Jesus-free.

Soon we were at odds with each other. I blamed any and all our marital problems on his unsaved status. After all, if we were both Christians, life would be “happy-ever-after.” Or so I imagined. I tried even harder: blasting my Christian music and scattering opened Bibles around the house; crying and pleading with him to go to church with me. Sometimes, Barry would go. But instead of enjoying him next to me in church, I’d sit there chewing nervously on the end of my pen, praying madly that this would be The Day. Afterwards, I’d quiz him in the car, “What did you think of the sermon? Did you like the music?”

“It was okay,” he’d say. “Do we have any turkey at home for a sandwich?”

The rest of the ride home, I’d sit and fight back either tears or angry words. Why couldn’t he see his need for Christ? I’d fume. Then Barry, sensing my disappointment, would pat my shoulder and say, “Look, I believe in God, but not in the same way you do.” That was not the answer I wanted to hear.

Intercessory prayer — the right way

Then something unexpected happened. I’d been reading a book about intercessory prayer when I had a sudden flash of insight. I told myself, That’s it! I’m going to pray for Barry for the next 80 years, if that’s what it takes. And I’m going to love him. Period.

That was 25 years ago—and I’m still praying and loving. But I’m no longer pining away in self-absorbed isolation waiting desperately for my husband’s salvation to bring marital fulfillment. Instead, I’ve decided that if it takes 80 years, then I want those years to be as enjoyable as possible for the both of us, despite our spiritual differences.

When I first came to faith in Christ and Barry hadn’t, I thought God had made a huge mistake. After all, two following God together made more sense than one. But I now know God never makes mistakes. Since I’d been an unbeliever when we married, I hadn’t willfully disobeyed God by marrying Barry. My situation is by God’s sovereign design. Reminding myself of that enables me to relax my spiritual chokehold on Barry.

The way I see it, God has a plan for each life. And no matter how hard I try, I cannot transform someone else’s heart. I can’t coerce, sweet-talk, or plead my husband into being a Christian. In fact, when I do try, it only drives him away—sometimes literally. If I start nagging him, he’ll get in his truck and drive for hours.

I decided long ago to accept that it’s God’s job to change hearts. That decision frees me to pursue my relationship with God without the added burden of having to bring my husband to faith. All I have to do is love and enjoy him. That’s God’s plan for me, and he gives me all the grace I need to accomplish it.

That doesn’t mean I’m not lonely at times or that I do everything right. The other day I grabbed Barry by the shirt and yelled, “Don’t you see Christ in me?” Struck by the irony of the question, he laughed—and to my surprise, said yes. It helps to remember that Barry’s not my enemy; he’s my husband. I’m just as much a sinner as he is—maybe more so because I have the power to say no to sin and often don’t.

When your loved one doesn’t love God

Here are a few things I’ve learned over these 20-plus years

  1. Live in the now. I don’t pine for a “happy-ever-after someday.” Instead, I accept things as they are, building on what’s good (such as enjoying each other’s company and planning for our future together), and praying about what’s not so good. Sometimes that means going into a bar with Barry and having a good time drinking a soda—and letting him know I love him just as he is. It’s what Jesus would do.
  2. Live honestly. In living out my faith, I let my husband see me stumble and struggle. He knows I struggle with fear, that I can’t pass a basket in a store without buying it, and that I sin regularly and often, yet desire not to. That way, he sees that a Christian’s life is one of grace alone, rather than living by a set of rigid rules. Any changes in me aren’t by my effort, but by Christ living in me.
  3. Honor your marriage. I’m careful not to talk negatively about Barry to anyone, and when he’s home, he’s my priority. This often means passing up social events I dearly want to attend. I seek opportunities to enjoy my husband and build him up, convinced he’s God’s gift to me.
  4. Pray, pray, pray. Prayer is my link to God’s presence, power, wisdom, and comfort. My favorite Scripture to pray is Ezekiel 36:26, that God will take Barry’s heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh. Another favorite is Isaiah 30:21: “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.'” Although it’s hard to pinpoint specific answers to prayer for Barry, I’ve seen his attitude toward spiritual things change drastically over the years. We often talk openly and freely about God.
  5. Find a support system. Surround yourself with other women who’ll pray with and for you. Also, study the Bible with a friend or small group. Attend church as often as you are able.
  6. Never give up hope. God offers everyone the same gift of salvation and eternal life. Some choose to accept it, and others don’t. But all who accept the gift do so in God’s timing, not ours. God knows what he’s doing.

I don’t understand why God does what he does. We have two daughters who don’t have the role model of a Christian husband and father. I used to worry about that. As it’s turned out, each daughter gave her life to Christ as a preschooler. Alison, now married, lives out her faith with a believing husband, while Laura’s going through a time of teenage rebellion—but even that’s in God’s hands. As evidenced throughout the Bible, God is in the habit of saving families. That gives me great hope.

Trusting God while you wait

Even so, sometimes I get discouraged. Sometimes I sit in my brown armchair and question whether God even hears my prayers. Or I sit in church and count the couples and ache because few know what my husband even looks like. Or I’ll hear yet another testimony about someone else’s husband coming to faith, and wonder why mine still seems oblivious to his need. But then there are times when Barry exhibits greater faith than I do. In fact, that’s a joke we share. I’m the one who says I have faith, while he’s the one who seems to live it.

He’s always telling me, “Why do you worry about things? God always takes care of us.” Barry almost always knows the right thing to do when it comes to leading our family. I believe that because God sees us as one flesh, my husband shares in my blessings. Because God’s promised to lead me, he leads my husband as well. I don’t have to fret. God’s in control.

The truth is, I might not ever see Barry walk a church aisle, but that’s okay. I have hope that I’ll see him walk through heaven. In the meantime, I live my life as a gift—one I never would have chosen, but one I’ve come to accept with gratitude. I know it comes from the hand of a loving God who only gives his children the best.

Related reading:
The Spirit-Filled Life: The first step to living a full Christian life is to let God’s Spirit work in you.
Talk to a mentor: If you need someone to talk to, contact us anytime. It’s free and confidential.


440 Responses to “My Husband Doesn’t Share My Faith”

  • Chris says:

    anonymous….i am praying now that the power of these false idols be broken off of your husbands mind and heart, that he would truly see the truth of jesus christ dying for his sins on the cross and that he would cast away all false trust in inanimate things. Jesús bring this husband to you and unite this family in the one true faith according to ephesians 4 amen!

  • Anonymous says:


  • marisol says:

    Hi Edward,
    I myself encountered an experienced just like yours only thing was I just got Baptist at church that day it happened to me before I continue let me start by sayinh all my life since I was a little girl I got paralyzed in my sleep could not moved and felt an evil presence always when it happened I always wonder why was that happening to me well like I was saying on the day I got Baptist with my husband the day went on and finally the night came. I went to sleep and then I was up but asleep at the same time in my room two giant butterfly were flying above me and directing me to stay focused on them but then I got distracted and when I look there was a demon on me scratchING my face but I couldn’t feel it and it was screaming at me with an evil voice and mad at me for I don’t know what reason then Jesus appear and the demon was told he had to say the name of Jesus christ and he said no and he was being pull away off if me screaming the name Jesus Christ as soon as it was over the Bible was next to me and all I heard was look up vision in the back of the book so here’s the definition of vision-
    an experience of seeing someone or something in a dream or trance, or as a supernatural apparition.
    I was like wow God is so real and powerful the demon are afraid of him that was a good thing I knew life wasn’t going to be easy but I also knew I had Jesus on my side to help me especially with my marriage the trust issues is a mess with me knowing that he already committed adultery once I been faithful because I love Jesus but I want to run away from this life it is fustrating and he doesn’t even know or act like he doesn’t I’m all alone on this walk with christ while my husband pleases to do as he wish speaks as he wish more like verbal abuse I been praying forever I want him to take over and be the leader to this family the head of the house but I’m just tired I know the Lord is with me and he will answer my prayer but I feel so drained out I don’t want to be disobedience to the Lord but Im also tired of the verbal abuse and I have trust issues even if I don’t show it I do.If I speak to try to communicate I’m always being shut up sometimes I just walk away and think to myself I only here cause of you Lord strengthen me sometimes life is so unfair I don’t understand it and I know I should not lean on my own understanding but I just wonder sometimes what if…..

  • Doris Beck Doris Beck says:

    I don’t have the name of a book offhand but check out the marriage section of your christian bookstore and they will have several books I’m sure.

  • Doris Beck Doris Beck says:

    You can model for him how to turn to God in prayer, how to trust Him and claim His promises. And continue to pray for your husband, that he will begin to understand about having a relationship with God and also the importance of that in his daily life.

  • Sue says:

    Can you recommend a book to read on this stuff. It is so common today… Also, pray for those involved in masonic (occult) They use the bible and religion only as a tool to get what they want, or get rid of who they do not want anymore in marriages etc. This is very common today…. Long as they don’t get caught, image must be all.

  • T. says:

    What if your spouse faith level isn’t the same. Your first reaction is to turn to God in prayer, his reaction is to give up on life. He is a believer, but don’t understand we need a relationship with Jesus.

  • Doris Beck Doris Beck says:

    I cannot even imagine how difficult this is for you but even in the darkest times we have to trust that God is still at work. Pray, pray, pray for your husband, that God will reveal Himself to Him and that he will see Jesus in you and in your daughters. At this point don’t argue with him, or try to convince him otherwise as that will only drive a wedge between you. Instead, love him(you may want to read the Love Dare for some practical ideas of how to do this) and pray! God is still a God of miracles.

    Let me pray for you as well:

    Dear Heavenly Father,
    I thank you for Jessica and her family. You see the situation and you know exactly what has led her husband to come to this conclusion. But Lord, we also know that You are still the God of miracles and You desire that everyone come to know you. So I pray for her husband, that he would see Jesus in her, and that You by Your Holy Spirit will call him back to yourself. Amen

  • Jessica says:

    My husband and I have been married for 11years and he has recently informed me that he no longer believes in God. That there is just not enough proof. I am completely heart broken and quite frankly in shock. We have been faithful to church and have been raising our daughters to believe God. Now I am so worried for my family. My only hope is that he promises to still attend church as a family.

  • Chris says:

    kate…i pray now that jesus changes your husbands heart and turns this hardness into softness for christ. based on John 6.37 to 44, jesus tells us he alone draws someone to the father and vise versa. so i pray that the fathers and jesus drawing power be made manifest in your husband so he comes and kneels at jesus feet amen!

  • Kate says:

    I am in a similar situation and I go to church every Sunday with our 8yr old daughter while my husband stays home. I never try to “change him”, i have just been a praying wife for God to change his heart. I gave up asking him to come with us. He grew up in a church family although his Dad was a devout Catholic and mom a Lutheren. His parents never went to church together. Their 3 children were able to make a choice growing up and my husband became a Catholic at an early age. He is in the military and after many many deployments to the middle east, he has seen what he says only death and destruction over religion and it has shifted his belief overtime. At first he didn’t mind that I went to church but now he says he has started questioning me, challenging me, telling me the bible is garbage and he may forbid our daughter to go and be brainwashed. He says he is surprised because I am an intelligent person and how could I be so stupid to not see this “church thing is all a business and cult”. I am in tears feeling this situation is getting worse and it’s putting so much strain on our marriage. I have not told anyone or seeked counsel from my church yet but I plan to because I don’t know who else to talk to. I don’t want any family or friends knowing because they would think so poorly of him as a husband and father which puts more stress on me. Thank you for writing this article and for all of the comments because I know I am not alone in this

  • Edward says:

    Hi my name is Edward. My wife and I have been together for 14 years. I grew up in a Methodist Christian home. Since I was 8 or 9 years old my step father was a diehard. He wild force me to read a bible chapter and if I didn’t understand what it was about he would hit me with the belt. I had 2 older step sisters and he would beat them like grown men. And come Sunday he would be yelling at the whole house that we were late for church. But it this way. When I turned 18 I moved out of the house and turned my back on God and church forever. Here I am 20 plus years later. I’m laying down on my bed in the daytime I look up and I see 11 foot muscle bound bearded red burnt skin man jump on the bed and started choking me cussing me out ina deep evil voice calling me every four letter word in the book the whole time he was choking me I looked in is eyes and they were black. I was no longer in my room just in darkness with the devil choking me and cursing me to eternal darkness with him. So as he was choking me I called out to Jesus and told Satan I rebuke you I believe in Jesus Christ. Get off me Satan in Jesus name get off me. Physically I could not move him he was so big like 12 feet muscle bound animal. So I kept calling Jesus. Behold I saw a bright light on the right side in the darknes . While Satan was still had his hands on my neck. U saw the bright light and Jesus appeared. Wearing a white and blue rob with his hands and arms crossed. Smiling and grining at what was going on in this situation. At that moment the devil dissapear and I was not in the dark anymore. It turned back into my room. Wow Jesus appears to a sinner like me. To a man who hasn’t prayed to him in 20 plus years. Amazing from that day I received many miracles and blessings. I shared my story to every person I know. Non believers and all. To my Wife. She refuses to give her life to Christ. We fight constantly. I tell her I share the word. I pray to God to open her eyes show her a sign that Jesus is the truth and the light. I tell her can’t you see I’m a changed Man through Jesus Love. This us coming from a man I’m a tuff macho man and I choose to follow Christ why can’t she. Not even 4 months ago the doctors found a lump in her breast. We as a family thought the worst. We had a good family prayer in a public restaurant. And asked God to bless her and give her another chance. We get the MRI and breast exam.God heals her. Its not cance . Wow I prayed to the Lord thank you this will change her heart of stone and she will come to Jesus. Wow I was wrong. Nothing still as tuff as nails. I pray to God set me free should I leave the family. How can I grow in Jesus when my Wife is a lost soul. I pray to the Lord that I’m only a Man. And I can’t change her only Jesus can. I will try to wait 80 years. But we have a 8 year old daughter and a 13 year old son. How can we lead by example if only one of us is saved…I’m praying to God that u don’t go a stray and get lost again and lose all my faith. I saw Jesus and I’m lost sometime . Blessed are those who believe without seeing Jesus. Pray for my family and to keep the enemy away from us Edward

  • Meg says:

    Thank you so much for this. I 23 and very recently came to know Christ. I have been married three years and also have 2 daughters. My husband has not found Christ, and although I don’t generally push anything on him he does give me trouble about my “god”. I have been very concerned for my daughter’s. But this gives me hope, as well as hope that even without his support I can live the life and m called to. Thank you so much for this!

  • Chris says:

    Jocelyn….i regret to hear you are struggling…obviously only jesus can show you how to handle your situation personally but 1 corinthians 7.14, acts 16.31 and 1 peter 3 can encourage you in knowing that the fact your husband isnt showing he has faith, doesnt mean God cant bring him faith according to romans 12.3 since faith to believe is even a gift of God as well. ephesians 2.8 to 9, John 6.37 to 44. our mates are always changing. sometimes they change for the better, sometimes they change for the worse but we can stay by jesus limitations on divorce as prescribed in Matthew 19 to adultery. otherwise we are could be looking for any old reason to get out of a marriage when we arent comfortable in it. my wife has also changed quite a bit since we had married 15 years ago but i have learned to not let my love waver for her just because she is spiritually less off than she was when i married her. i pray jesus lead you in your marriage and let the holy spirit apply the principles you need to please God above all and know he has the keys to your husbands heart and salvation. be encourged in the lord today!

  • Jocelyn says:


    I’m in a kind of Dark place. My husband grew up in a Christian home and I believe he was a Christian when I married him. We have been married for 3 years at the end of the Month and now he says he believes that you are born, you live, an you die and that is all. How can he go from believing too saying he has no proof God even exists? I struggle with believing a relationship can survive if nth people aren’t committed to God. What should I do??

  • Sam1 says:

    Hi.. If we are not to be unequally yoked please explain 1 corinthians 7:14 . Thank you

  • Doris Beck Doris Beck says:

    Stop worrying about what excuse to give people, or even asking him to come to church and just pray….I know that probably sounds very simplistic, but no one has been ‘argued’ or ‘nagged’ into the kingdom. A great resource for that would be “The Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian. Love him and concentrate on the things that drew you to him in the first place and ask God to change his heart….God still changes lives and we can trust Him to work in his life. And as the author of this article says, trust Him while you wait!

    Let me pray for you:

    Dear Heavenly Father,
    I lift up Amy to you right now and thank you for You work in her life. She is discouraged right now and hurting because of the decision her husband has made regarding his commitment to you, but Lord, we know that Your Holy Spirit still calls men and women to Himself and so we ask that You would do that….work in His heart and change it oh Lord! Amen

  • Amy says:

    My husband and I dated each other off and on for 10 years we would laugh joke and have fun. We would sit on the phone and have bible study talking about God. When in long distance mode he’d write me letters about God bringing us together. Well we got married. And a little while later he realized he was no longer a believer. I was devastated. I go to church every Sunday and even a director of one of the choirs. We have two little children one that’s 17 months the other whom is a newborn. I feel horrible lugging around two children at church and my husband now stays home. I attend my family church so all of my family attends. It’s such a burden to hold this weight on my shoulder. I cry so much now because I feel I have lost my husband. How could I the lead pastors daughter have a husband that does not believe. He doesn’t pray for our children doesn’t say Grace wants our children to stay home since they can’t understand yet what is going on in church. He is always challenging me of how God can be God and allow so much bad… Or he wants to argue contradictions in the bible or how the bible is a fairy tale. I honestly don’t know what to do… I feel so heavy burdened. I love him he loves me we are just at odds about our faith and beliefs. I ask God why me? I’m just hurt when I see couples at church happy together basking in the word. Or how they can speak over there family…. When it’s not a chore for Sunday to come to see if he will try to go today or what excuse to give to people this time.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Arleen, that must be really difficult feeling convicted that you need to act on your faith but seeing how that is driving a wedge between you and your husband. What brought you to the place where you felt you should be baptized? How did your conversations go with your husband as you were making that decision? What history does your husband have with ‘church’? What does he think makes your faith a ‘cult’ and what are his concerns about you being involved in that?

  • arleen says:

    I have been married for over 30 years and I have always been Christian minded, over a year ago I got baptized in the seven-day Adventist church and my husband is totally against it. Now I know he was never really a church going person but I just never knew he would behave the way he is acting now. He thinks the church is a cult and he does think a church should tell you want to do I have tried to tell him it’s not the church, but now I know it’s not the church because I have asked him to come and go to another church with me but he does want to be seen going to church I feel and this is causing a lot of problems, along with be unemployed life is very hard. I am not sure want to do.

  • Elkay says:

    Jen, it is wonderful that you are choosing God’s way!!

    A word of caution: sometimes, when a relationship is broken off, the other party may feel rejected and resort to using guilt and/or manipulation to get what they want. So as you go forward, pray for God’s peace and strength to succeed in this.

    Also, it is probably a good idea to develop private communications with one of the PTC mentors that are freely available for support and advice. Just hit the “Talk to a Mentor” button at the top right of this web-page, briefly explain what is going on and they will get back to you. Jen, I pray that God will bless you in this endeavor as you go forward.

  • Jen says:


    I was hoping otherwise, yet knew that your advice is indeed inevitable and true. I just wanted to thank you, and as I stay in prayer I will choose God.

  • Elkay says:

    Jen, I don’t want to sound like I know everything but your heart tells you he’s not the “right one” AND SO DOES GOD! There are a million reasons that 2 Cor 6:12 admonishes us, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness?”

    Break it off asap . . . . at the highest level, marriage is a spiritual connection between and woman and a man that in some manner emulates the Trinity. This is what is mean by “become one flesh” in Gen 2:27 and is also why marriage is a sacred institution created by God to honor Himself. So it does not make sense to deliberately enter into a marriage with an unbeliever who is “dragging you into sin.”

    Beyond this “spiritual” union, there is a vast “real life” connection that involves affection, respect, expectations, duties, emotions, physical needs, money-management, conflict-resolution, communication differences, etc., etc. And so a successful marriage requires a life-long commitment to all aspects of the other person’s well-being. Basically, it is a deliberate decision (not an emotion) to take the love God has for you and let it flow from Him through you to the other person, regardless of whether they respond appreciatively or respond in kind. If your boyfriend does not love and trust God, this cannot happen and you do not want to be married to him.

    Sorry for the “harsh words” but you are in a precarious situation and do not want to make a big mistake.

  • Jen says:

    My heart is breaking. I’ve been searching on websites for an answer and came across your site. Thank you. My boyfriend doesn’t believe there is a Hell. When I ask, “do you believe in Heaven”. He replies, what is my definition of heaven. Nor does he believe everything in the bible. My heart tells me he is not the one; he is going to keep dragging me into sin. I don’t want to fornicate or hear profanity or have a child with him struggling with his disbelief. I’m 35; he’s 50 and I’m desperate to get married to live right. That’s a sin conscious mindset I have to pray about. Tonight I asked what his goals are and he didn’t have any; he remains positive minded. I feel like I’m in a dead zone with a dead soul. I need a God-fearing husband to lead and walk with me. I want to worship God with my husband. I want to have a home and household that puts God first. It’s time maybe to let go and let God.

  • pipi says:

    Nice read. Asking God to come into our lives and save my marriage. Before I met my husband we had talks about starting a family. He was not into having children initially but had mentioned that if the right woman came along he would consider. Year 1-2 into our marriage came and just like other marriages we had our ups and downs.. within the years i kept reminding him of starting a family but he interpreted it as nagging and being the sole agenda of getting married, to the extent of not wanting children anyways. I have refrained from talking about it, and i doubt it crosses his mind. I’m sad every month when Auntie flo visits way beyond words can explain. I love my husband very much but i do want to have children. I made vows on my wedding day and now finding it really had to start searching other alternative i.e someone else. I’m now calling upon my God to answer my prayers and save my marriage before things take a toll on my marriage. Please God answer my hearts desires, intercede in my marriage so my husband and I can be on the same page and live happily for the rest of our remaining life on earth. Amen Anyone else in such predicament and how did you handle it?

  • Anonymous says:

    what an inspirational testimony just when i needed it. I have been praying for my girlfriend who is a believer but i feel is not able to have as much love and affection for the Lord as I have. Praying or reading the bible along with her gives me so much joy, but somehow she thinks I am preachy/pushy and she wants to take things slow as shes “New to this”. Sometimes I end up doubting if she’s really saved. Three years ago this same night, i was tossing and turning on my bed praying for guidance to make the second biggest decision of my life whether or not to tell her im in love with her. Well Im glad i did and today after three years, once again my heart is heavy and im praying that the lord would make us a wonderful godly couple, like aquilla and priscilla and have home filled with laughter, joy, peace and righteousness. Proverbs 18:22 ” whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour of the Lord ” Thanks for the post Nancy God bless you and I really pray that very very soon Barry will give you that surprise you always wanted. –greetings from India

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Rina &/or Rita :)
    It can be such a challenging thing to know what to say to someone close about the changes that are happening in your life. We have put together a bunch of resources that help you organize your own words about the difference that Jesus has made in your life. If you go to you will find a 7 part study that will help you with that. There are some other excellent series and challenges on that I am sure you will also find very helpful in your relationship with Jesus.

    As far as talking to your husband about this, I think it is important to lay it out for him. Make sure that you talk about the changes that Jesus is making in you and don’t let it come across like you are implying that he has some things to clean up in his life. Talk about how Jesus is making you feel and the things you are learning. This isn’t something that you will be able to hide and being honest and vulnerable with him is always good pattern for a marriage relationship.

    What do you think are going to be his biggest objections or issues with your new life? Does he have any history with church or Christianity? Is he connected with another religion?

    I look forward to hearing back from you but in the meantime, let me pray for you: Dear Jesus I thank You for the way You have rescued Rina and given her new life in You. Let Your light and love shine out of her so that her family and friends cannot help but take notice. Break down the objections and fears that they would have and deepen their friendship/love/connection with Rina. Give her wisdom to know what to say and what not to say. Use this to set a pattern of dependence on You in every part of her life. I pray that her husband would be drawn to You as well and that they would be able to grow together more deeply through their shared relationship with You. Amen.

  • Rina says:

    I don’t know how to tell my husband, friends and family that I have become a Christian. Jesus just came in my life during the last spring, day by day and changed my world. I have been studying the Bible, gone to church. I am sure my husband have noticed changes in me and I have said something to him but how to witness about my faith? How to share it? How to tell him my life has changed upside down? How to tell him I don’t want to listen that music I usedto, watch the movies I did, go to bars etc. My husband surely is not a Christian

  • Rita says:

    I don’t know how to tell my husband, friends and family that I have become a Christian. Jesus just came in my life during the last spring, day by day and changed my world. I have been studying the Bible, gone to church. I am sure my husband have noticed changes in me and I have said something to him but how to witness about my faith? How to share it? How to tell him my life has changed upside down? How to tell him I don’t want to listen that music I usedto, watch the movies I did, go to bars etc. He surely is not a Christian

  • nikki says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. I woke up this morning complete hopeless after a recent conversation between my husband and I regarding our beliefs, rituals, and routines. I prayed to God as I lie in bed next to him, but not about the right things Im sorry to say. My prayers were more about NOT being able to to stay with him since he wasn’t ready to take the necessary steps forward in his walk with Jesus. I guess I felt a like as the man of our home, my husband should hve a deeper connection with the Lord more than anyone. So I literally googled “What to do if my husband doesn’t believe God’s words” and instead if instructions telling how to remove him from my life, I get all these links of how to live with him and pray for him. Woo-sah. I hve some serious praying to do, however I do feel God led me to these links for a reason. Thanks for your article, it has truly touched me.

  • Cathy says:

    Lin, you are a very godly and wise woman. Thanks for your posting. Thanks for reminding us to always be thankful for whom and what God has put in our lives. But thank you for cautioning against staying with abusive men, especially if they are abusing the children. Just as a drug addict or alcoholic needs tough love so does an abusive spouse. He doesn’t need an enabler who uses their religion to allow him to continue abusing them. He will never get the help he needs that way. Have a great day and thanks again for your positive message.

  • Lin says:

    To those in unequally yoked husband
    & I have been married 37 years. I got saved
    25 years ago. He got saved 12 years ago. I’ve
    always been the one in church,reading the bible,
    etc…Yet, I see Jesus in him every day. I don’t preach
    to him, but I say what I think respectfully. We’re
    each others best friend..with God’s help we put
    each other first before ourselves. Our marriage isn’t
    perfect; there’s no such thing.
    At first I preached to him; I think that’s natural
    for someone that’s just gotten saved. But the best thing
    to do is just love him and serve him and let God do the work
    in him. He isn’t “always in church” like some men are. He
    is a great husband when no one is looking. I’ve known a woman
    whose husband was in church every time the door opened, yet
    this man has an explosive temper and destroyed a beloved heirloom
    from her deceased mother in a fit of rage. This was a common
    occurrence in their lives until , out of fear for her
    life, they divorced. To this day, the entire congregation with few
    exceptions thinks everything was her fault because while she kept
    quiet about his faults (except to confide in me) he blabbed
    everything to everyone, making her out to be the culprit. Even
    the pastor “took his side”. When you see these “wonderful” men
    with their wives in church everytime the doors open, realize
    many of them may be putting on an act, although of course
    that’s not always the case. Some are genuine. I would rather
    have a husband that treats me and his children well at home
    and elsewhere than someone that simply looks like the model
    husband/father when all eyes are on him. Let God change your
    husband. Pray for him. Don’t preach to him.
    Give him some slack and don’t insist he attend church
    with you, Invite him but if he says no, put a smile on your
    face and go yourself. Be his best friend but have other
    WOMEN friends also. Have a hobby and use the talents God
    has given you. Praise God every day for your family,
    even if they are not perfect…and watch Him turn things
    around. It may take days, weeks, months or years.
    A grateful heart pleases God and He takes notice of
    that. The more you thank God for your family, your
    home, your job, the more you will see God working
    in your life. He loves your husband, your children,
    your grandchildren, etc.. more than you do. He wants them
    in heaven even more than you do. He’s working behind
    the scenes. He will send genuine Christians across
    their path. He has 8 million ways to reach your family.
    Just be the woman of God HE wants you to be.
    Let HIM change everyone else around you.
    One word of caution: If your husband is
    physically abusive to you or your kids, separate from
    him and get some good CHRISTIAN counseling. If he
    won’t go with you or fights against that, do
    what you must do to be safe. If after conseling
    this man still won’t change and is unrepentant,
    consider (pray first, of course) divorce,
    but only until and if all other options have
    been tried and been unsuccessful. Don’t allow
    him to ever abuse your children under any
    Divorce should not come easily, and only
    when God says so and you have a “knowing” in
    your heart about it. I’ve heard of church
    people, even leaders, counseling abused
    women in their church that it’s NEVER Gods
    will for divorce, under any circumstances;
    later the woman is killed by the husband
    who promised to protect his wife in marriage.
    Use God-given wisdom in all things.

  • Caitlyn says:

    I love that I have stumbled upon this. I am going through a similar situation myself and reading this has made me feel so much better. I met my boyfriend while I was backsliding in my faith, in the midst of us talking I decided to rebuild my relationship with Christ, and all in all he has been quite supportive of my spiritual growth, but he tells me “I hope you don’t get too upset with me, not ready to get into that yet, I am just not there yet”
    He believes in God, but he also wants answers to a lot of the questions that pretty much cannot be answered, something that you would just let God and faith take over and trusting his will.
    I would love nothing more than to be standing in the worship center with him, with our hands towards the Heavens, praising God in all his glory, but at this point, it is just me.. Reading this has given me hope and understanding of how HE feels, and I am going to be there for him, just as he is for me.. Thank you for this! God Bless

  • Julia says:

    I am pretty much going through this same situation now. My fiance doesn’t have the same faith in God as I do. I was struggling internally wondering if I should stay in a relationship with a person that seems to be a “non-believer.” I came across this website and read the story above and it has made me feel so much better about my situation. Before I got into a relationship with my fiance, I believed in God but was a perpetual sinner. It took a life altering situation for me to submit my life to God, therefore I believe I need to be a little patient with my fiance. I just need to pray for him and hope that God touches his heart and changes his life so he too can become a believer. Thank you for writing this article, it’s helped me see my situation in a different light.

  • Becca says:

    I’ve been with my husband since 19 yrs old. I’m turning 29 this year. We both were raised exactly alike very strict christian parents faithfully in church etc. He even attended Christian school all his life even college. However we both started living secular lifestyles and rebelled against what we were taught. Which is how we met actually. We conceived all our kids in sin and lives and survived in sin. He never would marry me despite us living in sin. 3 years ago I put my foot down saying I needed a change and wanted to do right in the eyes of the lord and I could no longer live together in married. I thought it was my time to separate from
    Him and as much as I didn’t want it I wanted to follow God more. He had been so stubborn about marriage I thought it was my only way to follow God. However to my surprise when he saw I was serious and trying to break it off he humbled completely and began to be God fearing again go to church and bible studies and even MARRY ME! I could not believe it! He really loved by that and we were best friends again like old times but we had GOD! It couldn’t get any better. Yet recently he has slipped completely away from God I thought it was a faze but no he is more in love with sin than ever and he says it too. Meanwhile God is drawing me closer to him. I am changing and can’t help it. God is renewing me and I want him too. Yet I e become my husbands worst enemy. Simply because I exist. Simply because I am not the old me and I believe in the word of God and want to have a life that way for myself and the kids and he just doesn’t. He wants me to be me and him him. Which I hate but I won’t fight him to the lord. God gave ME freedom in sin and I can’t take that right from God when it comes to my husband. However I’m drowning in sorrow here. He’s my best friend in the whole world and he feels I’ve completely betrayed him. He truly believes I’ve left planet earth and I won’t hold the burdens of the world with him. And I do! My heart breaks for him. Yet how can I be burdened the same as we use to be when I am free through Jesus? I can’t help it that I’m not afraid when we can’t pay the bills, I dk what to do? I try to tell him comforting things like the lord will provide and not to worry but he gets really really angry with me. Even when I’m soft spoken and don’t fight or even speak. He says God won’t send Ravens from the sky to help us. Although I figure he might not I also believe with all my heart he could if he wanted too and he will help us and not leave us. We don’t talk now and he hates every thing about me. I’m not arguing or anything I’m simply loving Jesus and my worst enemy is in my own home with a husband who was raised to know better. I am attacked to my core daily and I’m so so sad.

  • Kathryn Kathryn says:

    Hi Theresa and Cathy, What an amazing number of posts there are on this page. I see you both have vaguely similar problems and believe it or not, they both come from the same source, the enemy, satan; As the Bible says, he is a liar, deceiver and murderer and one of his main aims is to destroy marriages and families, particularly Christian ones. No matter who we marry, when or why, if we are believers, God will use us but we need to be on our guard and not use our own wisdom or discernment. We get His way through studying His word and putting it into practice and as one of you said, it is not by force but by loving, caring, understanding behaviour. I speak to myself here because even as a mature Christian, I sometimes get deceived into saying the worn thin and in a disagreeable way, even making excuses for myself. We are truly in a spiritual mine field. I do encourage you sisters in Christ to have the same mind in you as did Jesus who though being in the very form of God, humbled himself. We need to be humble witnesses to others of our gracious Lord in everything we do and say. I find this is only possible in the power of the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to direct my every thought and word. Blessings to all who read this site and may God fill you full of His grace.

  • Christian says:

    My hubby and I got married in 2010 in a Catholic Church, although very non-active. I had a horrible relationship with God. My dad died last year and I got baptized in September of last year. So did my husband. Well, he complains nearly every week about going to church and bible study. He says that I am turning too Christian for him. I told him I feel at peace and whatever happens, happens and I won’t worry. Tired of worrying about him and convincing him that God does exist and answers our prayers. Tired of making him be a positive person. We will see what happens. If it’s God’s will, my marriage will be saved.

  • Ursula says:

    Hi Cryssi,
    I understand that you get sad at times,that your fiance does not share your beliefs.I have been married for almost 22 years and my husband is slowly but surely surrenderi.g to the lordship of Jesus Christ.I encourage you to build your personal relationship with Jesus.This christian walk ha. NOTHING TO DO WITH RELIGION,but it is a relationship with the person Jesus Christ. My life made a major turn when I made a choice to complety follow him.As you stay focused on obeying his voice and fullfill Gods purpose and plan for YOUR life,the joy of the Lord will sustain you.As you draw closer to him,the Lord will show you how to comunicate with your fiance and will allow you to be a witness to him.Please seek the Lord before you get married…..

  • B says:

    I am so glad I found this article.

    I have been married going on 11 yrs. My husband and I were Christians when we got married. I just found out last week that he is agnostic. I knew there was a change over the past couple of yrs, but I didn’t know his faith had changed.

    Ive always wanted a family with the husband and wife as a union serving Christ. This is how we married, and I never thought it would change. He now wants children, and If I don’t then he wants a divorce. We are in out mid 30’s. I am so heart broken and confused. He believes in raising the kids with the Bible as a guide, and he will attend church for the kiddos. But if they have questions he will answer honestly. Once they are old enough, then he will be more open about his beliefs….

    I am hurting and confused.

  • Cryssi says:

    I have been with my.fiance for 6 years now. We got engaged in early 2013 and then in mid 2014 I got baptized. He grew up in a Christian home and he even was baptized. Now he’s no longer religious. He believes in God but not religion. My pastor says I sanctify him and all but I can’t help but feel.sad sometimes

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