Comments on: My Husband Doesn’t Share My Faith

By: Doris

Tue, 15 May 2012 15:51:08 +0000

I am so glad that you found this article and have been encouraged by the posts Dee! It’s always good to hear about the experiences of others and how God has been at work in their lives and relationships.

Keep praying for your husband. Only God knows the true condition of his heart and what his struggles are that no one else knows about.

Lord I ask for your Holy Spirit to be at work in Dee’s husband’s life. Soften his heart to the things of You and help him to take the next step, whatever that is, in his relationship with you. Father encourage Dee today too, that she might not lose heart. Thank you that Your grace is always sufficient. Amen

By: Dee

Dee — Sun, 13 May 2012 11:18:00 +0000

It is so encouraging to read these posts. My husband has gone to church all his life. He says was saved at nine years old. Problem is, he doesn’t seem like a Christian. Others have said it too. He says all the right words but there is a coldness that is hard to explain. He would never miss a service, but he is like a naughty child, reading or looking off and not paying attention. I am lonely in my faith and yet I don’t have the satisfaction of praying for a non-believer, since he supposedly is saved. The worst part is that I married him, sensing a difference -that I couldn’t sense God in him. I was a brand new Christian. I don’t understand why I did it. Regardless, we have been married 26 years. I am trying to live by faith and show unconditional love. It is encouraging to read other women like myself are hurting yet trusting God. Everyones situation is a little different but God will work it out for our good as we surrender to him. Even if we sinned, in our marriage decision.

By: Jamie

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 22:14:25 +0000

Hi Bonnie, having expectations of how we think God should work on our behalf and then not seeing things work out like that can be a real faith shaking experience. I have a cousin who has had stuff like that happen and it really sent him for a loop. It was impossible to talk with him because he had just shut his mind to God completely. I think what has made the difference for him has been those close to him continuing to live in relationship with God themselves. When you see someone else with an authentic connection with God it is hard to ignore. The last while I have been inspired by Jesus’ testimony that everything He did was directed by God. If Jesus needed that kind of moment-by-moment instruction from God, how much more do I? Jesus even went on to say that every word He spoke was directed by God the Father, even the way that He would say it. I have tried to be much more intentional in stopping and asking for His guidance before I speak or act. Every moment has eternal potential and I don’t want to waste any one of them. It is really helping me to be aware of Jesus’ presence with me always and to follow His lead.

Lord God I pray for Bonnie’s walk with You. Heighten her sensitivity to Your presence, voice and direction in her life. Let her be consciously aware of actually following her Shepherd in every situation of life. And as You deepen her relationship with You let her husband see that and break down his hostility to You. Unite them again together in faith for Your glory and purposes, Amen.

By: Lily

Lily — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 05:18:58 +0000

Hi Marie,
I wrote a long long one here last night about my own case however missed reading your story. Just now I finally read it and I feel that I must tell u something which I hope will bring you hope and confidence back,
Many people come to marriage expecting a happy thereafter kind of life. But in reality, especially in Christian marriages, the contrary is true. Jesus didn’t promise us a pain free life. He promised us that He will walk with us and help us and deliver us in times of pain and hardship. The purpose of a God destined marriage is two different people come together, each carries a God’s calling mission to help the other partner’s faith to grow, to bring him/her back to God. That is the difference between a marriage relationship and a pure friendship. From my experience God has now given u a big mission and challenge. It’s obvious that He wants to use u to bring His list fallen son back. You are an important role in this matter. Should u choose to give up or persevere with a right heart, God is testing your faith.
Imagine the joy both you and your husband would have when they day he is saved comes. Wouldn’t that be more exciting and grateful than you two now already share the same faith and live happily together everyday without knowing what pain is?
I’d like you to think about the wedding feast in Cana. If there had been enough wine in the first place I believe everyone would be happy right? But then where did Jesus fit? His presence in the wedding would have become meaningless. Besides, after the wedding day no it would be just another ordinary day and a week later no one would even remember anything about that wedding. But the host ran out of wine. People were upset and the host was worried. In those days, if u didn’t have enough wine to serve your guests in a wedding feast it’s considered a shame and humiliation. But the situation gave Jesus a chance to reveal His power. The miracle He performed that day became the best wedding gift to the newly wedded becuz even 2000 years later, today we are still talking about their wedding !
U must understand that none of us is perfect Marie. But God has given us a spouse whom He can use as a tool to do a work in us. When God made Eve, He promised Adam she would be his helpmate. I believe if God made Eve first He would have promised her the same.
Why a helpmate? Becuz the devil hates true love and marriage and he would do anything to destroy it. That’s the time we need our God given helpmate to give us the kind of love and support and light so we can finally overcome the darkness. So I want u to know that Marie, u r not alone and in fact, u r in your situation only becuz God wants a chance to show u a miracle, a big one.
May I give u a little tips on how to pray? I understand when we women get frustrated about our husbands we pray to God and ask Him to change our husbands. But have u thought about your true intention when u pray this way? Are u just hoping for something you yourself want? U want your husband to come to church with u so u can have the kind of marriage u think is ideal, and u can be happy when u attend Sunday mass each week? If all these are true then u probably haven’t prayed with the right heart. Try tell God this: even if this man wasn’t your husband u still want him to be a good man and u believe that only if he chooses to love God he can become a good man. There’s no other option. This is unconditional love Marie. No wonder many people have to pray for decades for their loved ones to return to church but nothing happened still and they think God is not answering their prayers. God wants to answer every prayer believe me, but He’s been waiting for us to pray with the right heart and intention first before He releases His answer which has already been prepared even before we told Him what we want.
Marie, buy this book and read – The Power of a Praying Wife.
The book saved a lot of marriages and relationships as the author teaches how to pray with a clean and right heart. I read it. I am seeing changes in myself first, knowing how to pray. I no longer pray for what I want, I pray for what’s good for my fiancé. Btw when I wrote my other long message here last night my fiancé was still trying to avoid me cuz lately I kept telling him things about God and faith and even he’s a catholic, a fallen one, he found me and my topics annoying and he felt the pressure. So he hadn’t talked to me in a week. But last night I told God even if this man will never marry me I still love him and wish He will bring him back to His arms. And guess what, after a week of complete silence ( he’s probably struggling ), last night he told me he loves me! The ice is broken! So Marie, prayers work! U just need to know HOW to pray. I know it’s hard and painful but it’s worth it. It’s hard to tell God “God even if u must take this man back from me I will still let You have him back becuz I trust that only You can do a work in him that can last.” things like that… But God is good. When He takes away your fake pearl necklace He only wants to give u a new real one! There’s no need to be frustrated thinking that u must do something to change your husband. God needs only your faith. His power is sufficient enough to make anything possible.

By: AeKatrina

AeKatrina — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 22:22:13 +0000

Dear Marie
Your story really struck me with thoughts of how maybe just to marry you your husband really did not believe then either? Yes it might be very deceitful but must be a part of him still is wrestling about it and he knows somewhere on deeper level that he should do what he is doing, and has been called got this purpose? He is fighting it … i think? Prayer is the strongest power there is. I prayed 20 years and then my husband came along and goes to church with me and believes in our Lord. Not exactly as I do, but we share just the same. You see not everyone will believe the same. But Jesus knows and will send the Holy Spirit given time in one way or another. It is not easy to wait though or be patient often and I cried many times by myself.
The hardest part for you is to be seeing your husband living a lie, as he is pretending to have faith in the very God he does not really love as he should. The only thing you can do is know that our Lord knows what he is doing, and he will some how make your husband come forward with his true beliefs or He will fill him with the Holy Spirit in spite of his fighting it all.
Sounds like he is struggling in his soul over this right now. This has happened to some of the most blessed preachers of all times! He is wavering back and forth or else he would have just thrown his hands up. Have faith God is wrestling with him just like he wrestled with Isaac. Or God’s angel did, anyway.
When preaching, the Holy Spirit has to work in him, so what is said he hears and it will sink in given time!As long as he does not say the wrong things on the pulpit concerning our Lord ,then it means He is working inside of him yet!

By: bonnie

bonnie — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 18:50:48 +0000

jaime,
It was the lay off I guess. Well that’s not true. He told me later that it started at Christmas time because we went to a mormon friends church service. He said he knew where that religion came from and if they all think they are right and we know they aren’t then why is Christianity right? Then we moved to OK from AZ right after the lay off. My parents had land there they offered to each kid and we had planned to go there knowing we were getting laid off. He wanted to try something different. Well we were there 15 months and he couldn’t find work. He worked about a week at a temp thing and that’s it. My parents also decided they weren’t selling us any land and claimed they never told us we could go there. So the whole situation kind of fell through. He said that since we believed God wanted us to move and it didn’t work out, plus his doubts about religion in general, he was done. He was raised in a Christian home by very religious parents. I think that has contributed to this because he can see how his parents go to church so often and then know the Bible (as does he, better than me) and then he can see how they gossip and how they have treated me badly.

Either way, he needs the relationship.

By: Lily

Lily — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 17:01:43 +0000

Hi my name is Lily. My fiancé and I are highschool sweethearts, altho we weren’t dating yet back then and we met each other again after two decades and fell in love and knew instantly that we’re the one for each other.
We’re both Catholics. Our highschool is a catholic school. His family is catholic too and so is mine.
I did not realize that the fact that we’re both Catholics is indeed a blessing from God until 3 years ago I was saved. I am saying this becuz altho I got baptized at age 10, I was never a “good” catholic. Except a quick bedtime prayer I never treated Jesus as the focus in my life. And what’s worse, I was very much into witchcraft activities and other kinds of fortune telling stuff. Even my bedtime prayers were made as a habit all those years only becuz I wanted God to bring some of my wishes to pass.
But after jacky came back to my life, things slowly started to change. I started attending Sunday mass every week and I was actually quite enjoying everything in the mass. That means I wasn’t going only out of mere responsibility as a Christian. I listened carefully to each word the priest said and sometimes it moved my heart that I had to secretly sob.
But that didnt mean I was saved, yet. I still saw fortune tellers and witches and in fact I became more obsessed with it. I was contradicting my faith. I began to love and believe in God more but at the same time I also became more active in witchcraft. I consulted this witch who claimed she’s bigger than God so frequently and I even worshipped and prayed to her.
But then one day this happened – I had a session with this witch again and she told me all most terrible things that would happen in my and my fiance’s life. It was when she’s speaking I felt the holy spirit speaking to me at the same time “none of what she’s saying is true and go make a confession at the church right away.” and so I went to church eagerly right after my session and made a confession with a priest. I cried like a baby and since that day fortune tellings and witchcrafts never came across my mind again. I was saved that day.
But this isn’t it. Things didn’t turn better since I got saved. Problem is with jacky. He is a film director and these years he has become more famous and successful and I could feel that his success is clouding his conscience more day after day. He loves me very much. But apparently he’s begun to love himself and his success more than me. He still wants to marry me and he talks about having children occasionally. But it’s just that he chooses to put his work and fame on higher priority than our future.
I have no doubt he believes in God. And he’s a good person. But I’m also sure I now see a man so blinded by Satan’s temporal pleasures. Last Xmas I read The Power Of A Praying Wife and started praying for him. Nothing changed in him. However, as promised in the book, I changed. At first I was just following the prayers provided by the author and prayed for jacky the way the author suggested. My heart wasn’t very pure although my mouth was praying for jacky. I was still praying with the intention that jacky will change and put me first before his work. So I must say after four months of praying “for” jacky nothing has changed. But I still obeyed God and kept praying for jacky. Guess what, finally for the first time, two weeks ago I suddenly felt so eagerly that I truly want jacky to come back to church with me. I suddenly realized that his selfishness of only wanting things for himself, and his indifference, his negligent, are only Satan’s work. That’s not the real jacky. The jacky I see now is only someone offered a mask by Satan, and he doesn’t know what he’s doing. I now see him the way how Jesus sees him, a lost sheep. But Jesus is a good shepherd and he knows the name of each sheep. I now put all my hope and confidence in my Lord to be so well able to fetch my beloved fiancé back to God’s loving arms.
So I started inviting him to church and showed him bible verses and devotional readings. At first he seemed moved by my motive by a bit but after a couple weeks he now seems getting annoyed. I’ve never been pushy. I only “preach” subtly by sharing with him those devotionals and scripture verses. I suggested him maybe he can start filming something like Fireproof and Courageous and told him how popular those movies are. But the more I do what I think is right for me to do to help him come back to church the more annoyed it seems he gets. Now for a week he hasn’t talked to me.
Yesterday I was still feeling very disappointed and discouraged. Cuz just when I thought his heart seemed to want to come back to church, he now suddenly switched to choose to avoid me about it. But today I suddenly felt encouraged again. I know and have read a lot from Joyce Meyer and Joel Osteen that when God is working on a person’s heart, that person becomes more rebellious becuz his flesh does not want to be controlled. So he strives to get his own control back instead of turning his pride over to God.
Im not discouraged and upset anymore now. I know that God is still on His throne controlling all. Jacky is a catholic and is God’s beloved son too so God is not going to give him up just like that. He’s not going to just let him go astray and not do anything about it. I once had a dream that God said to me “I’m now using you as a tool to help him.” Assuming the “him” is jacky, now I’ve known the purpose of my life and why God put me and jacky together in the first place. He wants to use us to help bring each other back to Him. Joyce Meyer wrote “no one loves anybody unless God gives the love to him/her for another person.” She also wrote “A relationship/marriage is in God’s will only when the coming together of the two partners has brought each back to God.” jacky has done his part, i went back to church in the first place becuz of him, altho it wasn’t him who asked me to, his love for me inspired me to, and now I’m saved. I believe it’s time for my turn now. Its my mission to help him return to church. I won’t give up no matter how hard it is. I know it in my bones that if God has asked me to do something, He will help me to finish it. Today was the first day I started saying it loud to God asking Him to accept my prayers for jacky, and telling Him how much jacky needs Him, and that I trust He will bring this lost sheep back to the flock. I started thanking Him instead of complaining how frustrated I feel. I am confident that jacky will soon be saved too. It doesn’t matter how more rebellious he goes now, God is faithful and sovereign. Nothing can change what He has planned. If He chose jacky to be a Christian in the first place He would sure keep him no matter what’s happened.
So sisters snd brothers, please have your hopes up and lets pray together for each other. It’s just a matter of time. Allow me to speak on behalf of Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer that it takes some of you so long for your loved ones to return to church becuz you are probably not praying with a right heart, unknowingly. But if u pray with complete selflessness, and total humility before God and your loved ones and BELIEVE that Jesus can do anything, your prayers will be answered in no time.
Lily

By: Tash

Tash — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 00:29:48 +0000

Hi Marie,
Your story made me cry. But you know what, my first urge was to tell you not to be scared of his recent change of heart. The fact that he is now an atheist does not mean that he won’t one day be Christian again. Instead, as his Christian wife, be an example for him to follow by being understanding, loving, prayerful. The seed has already been planted in him.
It was dishonest for him not to tell you this before you married. Perhaps he was scared of judgement from you and also those around him. Sometimes with a welcoming attitude or reaction, we can inspire others to see God in us and in themselves. The bible says in Luke 18, 27: “what is impossible with men is possible with God”. Don’t be scared about your husband. God is surely with you in this moment. Show him God in you, because God lives in you and your faith is alive. I feel like if he wanted to be a pastor once, that means his heart is open! Maybe the opening is narrow, but it’s there and I pray and and hope God will come in. However, only you know in your heart what is right.
Blessings to you and your husband.

By: cfast

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 15:14:26 +0000

Marie, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I can only imagine how hard it must be. One thing I would suggest is to talk to someone about it. You mentioned you don't feel comfortable talking to someone in your church. Here at Power to Change, we have a free mentoring program. I'm wondering if you would be interested in speaking to someone privately and confidentially? Our mentors are Christians and would love to speak and pray with you. If you are interested, you can write a mentor today. I will also keep you and your husband in my prayers.

By: FIFI

FIFI — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 06:47:53 +0000

Marie, you have a responsiblity to tell a leader of your church who knows how to keep discretion. But I would confront your husband first with respect. I know it’s hard to honour at all times, just like I’m sure it’s hard for a Christian man to so love his wife as Christ loves the church all the time. When you confront your husband, do it with respect and don’t tell anyone else because God is able to bring him around if he wants and unfortunatly, churches or Christians are not always sympathetic. You need peace about this.

I hope you get all the help and support you need which may be hard if you don’t tell anyone, and you have to be careful, very careful who you tell. Some minister in the church that is able to help you is a good option.

God bless you and I wish you all the best