Looking For Love: An Honest Truth
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Ok. Let’s read the run-down. We’ve got sporting events, book clubs, church, blind dates, art galleries, weddings, the internet, parties, work, vacation and you can never fully rule out a random gas station run-in or grocery store check-out line. This is my, off-the-top-of-my-head, list of where to meet guys.
You could go to a seminar where they could “uncover” where to meet guys or you could just take a daily tally of where you find yourself and look around. Guys are half the population, so they’re there. If all the advice on guys were piled high on a desk, the legs would have buckled and split a long time ago. There’s a lot out there.
When it comes to love, I’m not a critic or a pessimist. I’ve met. I’ve dated. I’ve loved. I’ve really loved. I’m not convinced by my own where-to-meet-a-man list. I’ve never met a guy through mutual interests, I’m not going to audition for online dating, and wandering around an art gallery has never garnered anything but a greater appreciation for art, not men.
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This all just brings me to more questions. And while the world scrutinizes how many minutes it takes for a man to know if he wants a second date, I’m here wondering: Where is he? There are billions and I only desire one; one good one.
So what does it take? What’s the approach? I’ve learned the answer comes in one word: God.
I’ll spare you the sermon and shoot straight. I’ve been in relationships: The first one, the short one, the long one, the long-distance one and the I-thought-I-was-going-to-marry-you one. And every single time the only thing that has carried me out of heartache and brought me towards greater things, is Him. When tears blurred my vision and my chest physically ached, He sat with me in the pile of shattered pieces. He has held me steadfast through all the questions and through all the relationships.
Yes, love can be disheartening. I know what it feels like to wonder if that guy is out there and then watch your hope slowly dry up. But what has renewed my cracked heart are God’s promises and words for me. Just a couple weeks ago, when I truly doubted if God speaks directly to me through His Word, I read this:
“Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.” Psalm 71:20-21
I looked up from my Bible and experienced only stillness. My heart has fresh stitches and I wonder when I will ever repair, but when I read that, I knew it was for me. God will bring me up again. He will comfort me once again. He did speak to me through His word.
And you know what I’ve learned? Not only that God will heal my heart, but also that He has always had what is best for me in mind, including this business of a husband. Not one that I’ve hunted down like a bloodhound or had to log in 1000 hours of internet time to find, but one that He raised up so someday we would come across each other and honor Him in our lives together.
See, the thing is, God knows me. Before I was made in my mother’s womb, He knew me (Jeremiah 1:5). He knows when a thought comes to my mind or when I go from here to there (Psalm 139:2-3). He has determined the time set out for me and the places where I would live (Acts 17:26). He knew all the days that I would live before I began my first one (Psalm 139:16). My name is written on His hand (Isaiah 49:16) and it has been there since the beginning.
On top of all of that, He knows the man who is best for me. So what comforts my soul is that I don’t have to worry about it. He is so divinely aware of who I am, much more than I will ever know myself. My judgment is bruised and biased; His is complete and infinite. Trusting Him about a husband is a beautiful relief.
Just as God is familiar with every part of me, He knows you; completely; inside and out. If He knows what kind of man I want to marry, He knows the same of you. I don’t know where you’re at: if you’re fresh off a train wreck or haven’t been in the dating game for awhile. Or maybe you can’t find the strength to look for the far-flung pieces of your heart; I know that place. But lock eyes with God, the one who will brush the dirt off of your heart and redeem you. Put your hope in Him. Put your trust in Him. Put your wounded heart in His hands.
The Bible says that those who do this will not be disappointed. God will delight in you, be good to you and promises to keep His eyes on whoever puts her hope in Him.
You are all too familiar with the cultural hoopla too. I don’t want to “cheat-proof” my relationship. I don’t want to memorize 12 tips to nab a man or the 24 ways to keep him. I don’t want to be taught how to interrogate an “emotionally-unavailable” man and you can keep your “insider tips”.
I’m going to trust in God. Not because He’s my guru or my cop-out. But because He is Almighty. He is Adonai. He is King of Kings. He bears these tremendous titles and yet I have never experienced such a tender touch on a broken heart, on a heart longing for its counterpoint. Yes… I will trust in Him.
“But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you,” Psalms 39:7
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11 Responses to “Looking For Love: An Honest Truth”
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Uh….! this is a mouthful Danielle, I’m so inspired. I like the fact that you’re saying you don’t have to “cheat-proof” your relationship, I mean if you are so valuable to your man he will be the one who strives to keep you happy. Our society has made men the way they are because they accept their bad behaviour and tell women to do all the work of keeping the relationship healthy. I resolved in my heart that a man that God will give me will see how VALUABLE I am and will do his best not to hurt me because he loves me so much to see me hurting and crying and if I do cry he will be the first one to wipe my tears ONLY and JUST because he LOVES ME.
Thank you for your affirming words, Veronica! Actually, in revisiting this article, I am completely convinced that when we entrust our hearts to the One Who made them, and allow Him to write our love story, He creates the most beautiful spiritual/emotional/physical unions! He knows our longings to share this life with someone who will honor and cherish us, and this is His desire for us! But, too many times, we seek that someone ourselves, and forego God’s best for us, not really believing that He has a plan for us, and someone special in mind! As He knows us intimately, our strengths and our weaknesses, our needs and desires, He is able to find the ‘best fit’ when we allow Him to pick out our mate! However, as the Scriptures declare, God is a jealous God, and if we long for a man more than we long for Him, He will wait patiently, even a lifetime, for us to surrender that idolatry! When we give God His rightful place in our hearts, a place that only He can fill, then He rewards our desire for a husband with the godly man of His choosing! We needn’t worry about ‘chemistry’, for as He is the Creator of all things, He certainly knows how to ‘start a fire!’ God bless!
Thanks for this article!
Amen to what Marilyn said!
What planet are you from, David? Danielle didn’t include bars on her list of prospective men-meeting opportunities for a reason: how many respectable Christian men make bars their joint-of-choice? And, furthermore, the length of her hair is irrelevant to her finding of man of character and godliness.
Action speaks louder than words for people who want to be in their lives. God is so powerful and just and He know what is the best for us to be… for God knows our inside and out, our works and in hearts and minds He knows, that all people want is more on Advice like we read in this inspiring article that give us new steps in our Journey for love is God and God is love that gives you better place and gives you the desire of your heart at a right time and place; As God made us first Gods love teaching so we can be a children of light and understand others as God doing to us.
thank you
Danielle kreeft
God bless
*very inpiring thoughts
for today and 4ever with
God Almighty :D
Amen
Even though you make a valid point I am afraid that I must disagree. You might try letting your hair grow out a little.Danielle lighten up a little.And besides you didn’t include Bars in your list.
I had to read this again…it’s well written and true…often I get discouraged…I’m tired of being alone…
But it was good to reread this this morning!
Thank you for this.
This was the most awesome article I’ve read in a while. Thank you so much for the message.
I get so discouraged sometimes wondering “when Lord” and sometimes I just feel like it’s not God’s will for me. But this article is right on! God knows what and who is best for me, I have a very poor track record of choosing for myself! I just have to let it be, take my hands off of the situation and look to and trust God.
This is wonderful and true artical for Men and Women. Every time you get you get down and discouraged read this, it’s the truth! Whoever wrote this is amazing and I’m a “guy”!
Ranger100