The Power of a Praying Wife

Written by Stormie Omartian

PowerofaPrayingWife_290x220When I asked my husband to share with me his deepest fears, one of the things he mentioned was the fear of not being a good father. “I believe it’s something men in general tend to fear,” he said. “We get so caught up in doing what we do in our work that we’re afraid we haven’t done enough with our children. Or we’re afraid we haven’t done it well enough, or we’re missing something.”

Have you ever had someone pray for you when you couldn’t think straight, and after they prayed you had complete clarity and vision? I’ve experienced that countless times. I believe this is what can happen for our husbands when we pray about their parenting. If they are tortured with doubt and burdened by a sense of responsibility, we can minimize these feelings with our prayers. Prayer can help them gain a clear perspective of what it means to be a good father, and open the door for Holy Spirit guidance on how to handle the parenting challenges that arise.

The following is a suggested prayer to guide you in praying for your husband’s role as a father.

Lord, teach (husband’s name) to be a good father. Where it was not modeled to him according to Your ways, heal those areas and help him to forgive his dad. Give him revelation of You and a hunger in his heart to know You as his heavenly Father. Draw him close to spend time in your presence so he can become more like You, and fully understand Your Father’s heart of compassion and love toward him. Grow that same heart for his children.

Help him to balance mercy, judgment and instruction the way you do. Though you require obedience, You are quick to acknowledge a repentant heart. Make him that way, too. Show him when to discipline and how. Help him to see that he who loves his child disciplines him promptly (Proverbs 13:24). May he never provoke his “children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord,” (Ephesians 6:4).

I pray that we will be united in the rules we set for our children and be in full agreement as to how they are raised. I pray that there will be no strife or argument over how to handle them and the issues that surround their lives.

Give him skills of communication with his children. I pray he will not be stern, hard, cruel, cold, abusive, noncommunicative, passive, critical, weak, uninterested, neglectful, undependable or uninvolved. Help him instead to be kind, loving, soft-hearted, warm, interested, affirming, affectionate, involved, strong, consistent, dependable, verbally communicative, understanding and patient. May he require and inspire his children to honor him as their father so that their lives will be long and blessed.

Lord, I know that we pass a spiritual inheritance to our children. Let the heritage he passes on be rich in the fullness of Your Holy Spirit. Enable him to model clearly a walk of submission to Your laws. May he delight in his children and long to grow them up Your way. Being a good father is something he wants very much. I pray that you will give him the desire of his heart.

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63 Responses to “The Power of a Praying Wife”

  • Chris Chris says:

    sherry…we pray for you in jesus name that you would come up and into all that the lord has planned for your spiritual life, your calling in him and your effectiveness in prayer and intercession. may the holy spirit fill you today to do his good pleasure amen!!

  • sherry says:

    i want to be a prayerful wife

  • Shelley Shelley says:

    Dear Father God.

    Lord I lift up my sister Wendy to you at this time that you will heal her husband of drinking that that you will bring them together as One under Your grace in Jesus name Amen

  • Wendy says:

    Cont

    I also have power if a praying wife in which I absolutely love..great tool…except he gets angry that I read it..takes it as a threat.

  • Wendy says:

    Needing prayer for my husband. He has gone back to his alcoholic habits in which he left behind 15 yrs before we had met. He accuses me if cheating on him and insults me regularly. He is saved but fights demons within himself. He currently is not working and spends our money on large bottles of hard liquor almost daily. I am working four 10’s and my days off except Sundays. By the time I get home I am exhausted and just want to sleep. He has fits because he wants to be intimate and I will try however he prefers us to be intimate in pornful ways like the ways they do in the porn he has chosen to wait ch. Hus favorite is “Nina”, in which he claims he only watches he because she looks like me. (So upsetting)
    I need prayer for my strength and for his addictions. This is upsetting the children because he constantly says he’s leaving me(to get what he wants) He also won’t allow me to visit friends or do activities with other women without accusations. Please pray for our us.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Abigail, you should be able to find a local Christian bookstore that would be able to get that for you. You can also find the book on Amazon or other online bookstores. We do also carry it in our online bookstore (http://store.powertochange.org/p-168-the-power-of-a-praying-wife.aspx#.UvUd5UJdXiw) but the delivery charges would likely be pretty high.

  • I would like to buy this book ‘The Power of a Praying wife’.

    I am inquiring from Zambia.

  • Emy Sarit says:

    am in a similar situation as Meryke. My husband and I decided to separate a month before we both discovered i am pregnant. he went back to live w/his ex live in partner. We are legally married and planning to get an annulment (we don’t have divorce in the Philippines. I still love my husband and I don’t want to let him go but he said he does not love me anymore.

  • Candy says:

    I’m looking forward to read more about this book

  • Barbara Alpert Barbara Alpert says:

    Hi Nataly,

    It is so nice to hear that you and your husband have decided to fight for your marriage with God’s help. With the two of you coming in agreement to correct whatever issues have been causing strife in your marriage is a beautiful thing in God’s eyes. In Ecclesiastes 4:12 the Bible says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” I pray that has your husband and you take a firm stance in preserving your marriage…you will both allow God to be the third strand that binds your marriage together. When the storms of life try to pull you both apart, His mighty love cord wrapped around your hearts, mind, and soul will help the two of you to make it through any difficult challenge that may present itself. May God’s blessings of peace, love, and joy continuously fill your marriage vows to one another.

    In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen

  • Nataly says:

    Dear Meryke. Please don’t give up on your marriage. First years of marriage are hard for most couples. I have been married for 1 year and 6 months and also find it very hard. Divorse never should be an option. I am not saying that this thought never crossed my mind or my husband and I didn’t consider it… sadly enough we did. Nevertheless we are choosing to fight for our marriage with God’s help. I hope you will be doing same. Best regards.

  • Claire Colvin Claire Colvin says:

    Hi Meryke,

    First of all, congratulations on the upcoming birth of your son! You said that you are considering ending your marriage – have you been to see a marriage counsellor? Ask your husband if he will go with you and if he won’t go and see the counsellor on your own. You’re only one year in and I understand that it has been a really hard year, but I believe that there is a lot of hope for you. You’ve been under a lot of stress and when we’re stressed it’s harder to see things clearly. Also, you’re pregnant which as you know puts quite a strain on your body and with all the hormones coursing through your veins can also make your emotions sway significantly.

    You said that your husband has received three promotions in the last year. That’s wonderful, but I wonder if it also means that he has been working very long hours? Is that contributing to the way that you feel? Are you both incredibly tired? How do you know that you are not good enough for him. Is it the things that he says? Things that he does not say? Do you feel like he doesn’t see you? Have you had a chance to talk to him about it?

    Some of what you’re feeling might be simple fear. Having a baby is a big change, and you just had a big change getting married. It’s very easy for it to become overwhelming. That’s where counselling can really, really help. If you’re not in any physical danger, put divorce out of your mind at least until you’ve seen a counsellor. A professional can help – whether it’s in finding a schedule that works better of the two of you, resetting expectations, developing better communication skills, dealing with financial stress or even just finding ways to relate to each other. There is a lot of help available. Try it all.

    Sometimes during pregnancy husbands start to pull away because they feel like the baby has taken over as first priority. It’s additionally stressful that the physical relationship you were probably expecting to have – all that newly wed sex people talk about – got sidetracked. Sometimes wives get so focussed on the hard work of pregnancy – it’s no small thing to grow a whole entire person! – that they don’t realize that they’ve stopped paying attention to their husband. Altogether this can cause a lot of hurt, hurt feelings, loneliness and despair. It’s all things that you can work though with the right support. I know that you don’t want your son to grow up in a negative atmosphere but you don’t want him to grow up without his father either. Not if you can help it.

    So here’s what you can start with:

    1. Get some sleep. You’re probably exhausted and it’s harder to work through things when you’re so tired. Sleep first. Rearrange your schedule if need be so you can nap.
    2. Talk to your husband. Don’t start with “I don’t know if I can stay” try something like, “I miss you.”
    3. Ask if he will come to a counsellor with you. Tell him that you want your marriage to be as strong as possible and you could use some help. Be careful not to lay blame, there’s two of you in this marriage and more often than not both partners bring strengths and weaknesses to the relationship.
    4. Write out a list of all the reasons you love your husband. He asked you to marry him. He choose you and you said yes. What do you love about him? Write it all down. Consider giving the list to your husband.
    5. Ask your husband how he’s feeling. Some men really feel the weight of responsibility when there’s a new baby. (Maybe that’s why he’s been working so hard and getting those promotions, he wants to be a good provider?) Pregnant women get sympathy all the time, expectant fathers don’t. It’s not the same, a man’s body does not go through what a woman’s does, but he’s probably nervous and stressed and excited and terrified about becoming a Dad. Talk to him about it. Be a safe place for him and you may find that’s all he needs to be there for you too.

    I know that you are already praying. Keep praying. God is FOR your marriage. That voice that says, “Maybe it’s time to go” that’s not God. That’s the enemy. Refuse to listen to that voice. I know that you’re tired and you’re sad and this doesn’t look the way you thought it would. All of those feelings are real and valid feelings. But that voice of doubt, that’s Satan digging his knife into your most vulnerable, most painful spot. It’s lies. And he is brutal. He takes our worst fears – maybe he doesn’t really love me, what if this was a huge mistake – and he whispers them in our ears over and over and over again. But he has already been defeated. He has no power. God has the victory. So when Satan comes whispering, whisper back. Yell back. “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Mark 10:9)

    In church this past Sunday we were talking about three “therefores” – three things that are true of us as Christians because of what Jesus did for us at the cross.

    1. You’re FREE “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)
    2. You’re ABLE “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” (Phil 4:13)
    3. You’re CONNECTED “Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone.” (Eph 2:19-20)

    You are not alone. If you’d like to talk to someone privately, we have email mentors available. Mentoring is a free and private service. You can use this form to request a mentor.

    Can I pray for you?

    God in Heaven, I’m here to pray for Meryke today, for her, for her husband and for their baby son. Father you see Maryke and you know how heavy her heart is. You see her pain and her weariness you hear her loneliness and her sorrow. You know her questions and her heartache and the way she longs for her marriage to be a happy, positive place to bring her son home too. I pray for relief for her, even today. I pray that you would bind the lies of the devil that whisper to her that it’s too hard and she should walk away. It IS hard, but God you tell us that she is more than a conquerer and we know that with you ALL THINGS are possible. So I ask you to be her strength and I ask for a miracle. I pray that she would really be able to connect with her husband. I ask that they would be able to have a honest, loving, supporting conversation where they can share their hopes and fears their love and their heartache and together plan a way forward for this family. Whatever it is that they need Father, I pray that you would provide it. May they look back on this day, years from now, and laugh at how far they’ve come, how much better they knew each other and how well practiced they are at loving each other. This is not easy, but you are the God of the impossible and I pray your hand of protection on this young family. Make them mighty in you God. Make them a beacon of your love, your grace and your mercy in their community. Bind up their wounds and restore them to strength. You have brought them together, may no one be able to tear them apart, not even by their own hands. Help Meryke’s husband to really see her and help Meryke to know what her husband needs too. I pray that you would wrap them up in your love, so tightly that Satan can’t get anywhere near them. They are a family and I pray that they would stay that way. Thank you for bringing Meryke here to this site so we can stand with her. Remind her how much you love her I pray, In the strong and mighty name of Jesus, Amen.

  • meryke says:

    My husband and I have been married for just over a year now. I’m 38 weeks pregnant with our son. The past year has been terrible emotionaly, altough we bought our fisrt house, got a new car and husband got 3 promotions. Yet that isn’t enough for him. I’m not good enough for him- never. It really feels likeal togther there has been 1 happy month in our marriage. I’ve been praying- and at this stage I feel in my heart that it will be beter if I leave. I know I made a promise before God and my family. I don’t know what to pray for anymore. Emotionaly I’m run down and don’t know how much more I can take. I don’t want my son to be in a negative atmosphere. I m yearing for my husband to notice me. To show me he loves me. Please please please pray with me!!!! Please

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