Does God Promise You a Spouse?

Written by Rob Eagar

Do wonder if God has heard your prayers? Learn what to do when God is silent with this interactive study.

Jennifer was a disgruntled, single woman at my church. She was thirty-six years old and complained that her life was slipping away. Six years had passed since her last boyfriend, and her dating life remained in limbo. Jennifer wondered whether her heart still had the capacity to love. Beneath her jaded disposition festered an undercurrent of resentment toward God.

After attending church regularly for over two years, she suddenly disappeared. Three months later, I bumped into her at a restaurant and asked her whether she had moved to another church. She replied, “No, I’ve quit church altogether. I just can’t bring myself to worship a God who would leave me in such loneliness.” Jennifer concluded that if she was ever going to let God back into her life, He’d better bring her a husband—and fast.

Does God promise us a spouse? The Bible says “yes” by describing Christians as the spiritual bride of Christ. Our true spouse is Jesus. Yet, many of us say, “I’m glad to be spiritually married to Christ, but I can’t feel Him. Wouldn’t it be better if I could enjoy God’s love with someone else? I want Jesus with skin on.” So, we pray for God to bring us an earthly mate.

Related: STOP WAITING FOR YOUR REAL LIFE TO BEGIN.

The gripe for love

My search for a spouse turned into a cycle of frustration as I encountered numerous relational struggles and a wife who abandoned me six months into our marriage. I started to wonder if God actually cared about my romantic relationships. Whenever I felt particularly upset about being single, I would sit in my den recliner and gripe to God about the injustice of my social life. Knowing He possessed omnipotent power made it seem logical to expect a wife from Him.

Whenever I demanded that God rush me a spouse, however, He seemed to whisper this question in my heart, “Rob, is the love of Jesus Christ enough for you? Have you allowed My complete forgiveness and unconditional acceptance to satisfy your heart?”

In tears of resignation, I conceded, “I appreciate Your love, Lord, but all I really want is a wife.” I still believed that my heart needed the affection of a person in order to feel complete. In essence, I valued human love more than God’s love.

One day, I began to look back over my life and the numerous dead-end relationships from my past. In each situation, romance had started out with a bang but fizzled under the weight of performance-based love. No matter who I met, either I was too demanding or she couldn’t accept me for who I was.

Suddenly, something clicked within my mind. I thought, “Why am I chasing marriage when it cannot provide the unconditional love that my heart craves? Only Christ offers everything I need.” With this new perspective, I relinquished to God my demand to get married. I still wanted to find a spouse someday, but I no longer considered marriage necessary to complete my life. If I remained single for the rest of my life, that was okay—God promised to fulfill my heart.

When we demand that God bring us a mate, we block His love from enhancing our social life. The anger that we harbor builds a wall between us and Him. If we are honest with ourselves, we realize that our demand for marriage is a refusal of God’s love because we want our selfish desires met. God will never stop loving us, but we ignore Him when we desperately seek a human being to make us happy. Furthermore, whatever we depend upon for our happiness will wind up controlling us. If we believe that we need a human spouse to be satisfied, then people, rather than God, will dictate our lives.

God is in control of everything, but He does not intervene just to make our lives easy. He had no intention of making a woman magically appear and fall in love with me. Instead, God wanted to use His power to mature me into someone who would initiate sacrificial love towards other people. I wanted to get love, while God was teaching me to give love.

The freedom to love

Likewise, God is working in your life to help you meet and love other people. However, you make the final choice as to whom you accept and whom you reject. When you interact with another person, you have the freedom to decide which direction your relationship will take. You can choose to become romantic, just be friends, or end your time together and separate. In addition, the other person has a decision in the matter, which means he can influence the outcome. Consequently, a relationship will not develop unless both of you decide to love each other. On the other hand, if you or the other person make selfish decisions, your relationship may crumble.

The desire for marriage is a fair request, but the consequences of living in a fallen world can prevent people from reaching that goal. For instance, you can pursue someone romantically, but that individual may choose to ignore you, a crisis or illness could hinder you, or that person may decide to leave you. The sins of humanity create numerous barriers to good relationships.

Yet, why is life so hard sometimes? Why doesn’t God use His power to protect us from pain? Actually, God is at work, but in a different way than some of us realize.

God uses His sovereign power to encourage people to love each other, but He also allows us to make selfish choices that can tear us apart. God permits calamity so that we can experience His greatest gift – a free will. Without free will, you and I would be robots or lifeless, stuffed animals. Fortunately, God limits His power to let us make our own choices in life. Does your free will nullify God’s omnipotence? No, as Psalm 37:23 says, “The steps of a man are established by the Lord.” God is so powerful that He can allow you to choose and still work the outcome for His glory.

Why is free will so important? God wants you to enjoy true love, and true love cannot exist without a choice. If you were forced to love God or another person, then love would disappear, and you would be under manipulation. Free will is the key ingredient to true love.

I recognized the importance of this truth when I couldn’t get a date for my junior high school prom. I had asked several girls, but they all turned me down. Four days before the big dance, however, a friend told me about a girl, named Tiffany, who needed a date. Frankly, I wasn’t attracted to her, but I asked her anyway, because she was my only option.

During the prom, Tiffany and I attempted to be cordial, but it became obvious that neither of us had an interest in each other. We didn’t talk during dinner, we didn’t want to dance as the band played, and we didn’t smile as our pictures were taken. Most of the evening, we sat in silence and stared dreamily at the students whom we really liked. Through that ordeal, I learned that love cannot exist unless both parties freely choose to be together.

Therefore, finding an earthly spouse will not occur through demanding God to miraculously bring someone to your doorstep. Marriage is not a predetermined process that happens mysteriously. You will get frustrated if you believe that God mystically pairs people together. If God predetermines marriage, then why doesn’t He stop divorce? Instead, God lets us make the decision to love or the decision to leave.

The choice to love

God brings people across your path and encourages you to love them, but He lets you manage your relational responses. Thus, marriage revolves around deliberately making choices to love another person. You can improve your opportunities for romance by getting out and choosing to sacrificially love people. Or, you can opt for selfish or reclusive behavior and diminish your relational prospects. The quality of your social life hinges on the choices you make.

Does God promise you a spouse? Yes, as the bride of Jesus Christ. Does God promise you an earthly spouse? No, because finding a husband is a process, in which two people decide to sacrifice themselves for each other’s benefit. So, don’t let the goal of earthly marriage control your life. Otherwise, you will become miserable, because you cannot control the future or free will of other people.

God wants your spiritual marriage to be your heart’s primary source of love and acceptance. Earthly relationships are the avenues to express His love to others. The more you love other people, the more you increase opportunities for an intimate relationship to develop. God may not orchestrate a passionate romance on earth, but He promises a life of passion to enjoy with Him.

Questions:

Use the following questions to consider if your desire for marriage has become a demand:

  • Am I dating to find someone who can make me feel better about myself?
  • Can I feel content and thankful to God in my singleness?
  • Am I cynical about relationships with the opposite sex?
  • Am I afraid of the possibility of never getting married?
  • Is the love of Jesus Christ enough for me?

If your desire for marriage has turned into a demand, find encouragement by meditating on these verses: Philippians 4:6-13; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.

devo-interact-icon-42x42So, how’s your love life? Do you need to talk? Either contact us privately by filling out this form and one of our mentors will contact you or make a comment about this article below.  (The form is under the last comment.)

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2,438 Responses to “Does God Promise You a Spouse?”

  • Tom Tom says:

    So Alex, are you saying there is little point to love in life because we’re all just victims of our impulses and nature?

  • alex says:

    We all want spouses because we are animals that carry genetic material which we are suppose to transfer its why people like sex. dont let yourself get stuck in this pitty party whenever i look for answers through this method i realize that is all this is. People trying to control the things they cant control. You pray for a wife while young men pray for life so dont cry when a mother loses a son.

  • alex says:

    Coal is wood that was placed under high pressure and preserved. There is so much because at one point plants evolved the ability to organize carbon into the long chains of carbon that make wood before a creature could evolve to decompose them. Christianity is a selfish religion out of the countless things in the universe everything dies even stars to ignore the world around you is the ultimate evil.

  • Chris Chris says:

    gen…i regret to hear of your struggles. if i could encourage you with the thought about the biblical characters in the bible and their success in prayer, we see that they were all ready to do two things…hear Gods instruction and be willing to act on their faith. heb 11. think of moses, gideon, Joshua, David, Samuel, debborah, etc. they were all people in tune with God and knew where he wanted them to be and when. dont give up. the promises in the bible are not subject to time. let the holy spirit lead you to minister to others in their needs and Matthew 6.33 says God will minister to yours! lord help gen today to be encouraged that if she seeks you will all her heart and listens in that secret place to your inward voice, she can find the Christian husband she is wanting to have in jesus name amen!

  • Rashid says:

    Gen
    Life is journey and lots will happen lots will happen how we have been raised lots of time happen with me a beautiful woman talking with me and I never had the courage or knowledge how to express myself and that opertunity gone that’s what happen at least with me. I am I can get marry very easy if I don’t have the desire of certain image of woman that I am looking for. Then it is easy to marry it is the outer look I understand no one has perfect marriage if some do please let me know I will like to know thank you all God bless you all and Mary chrismas to everyone please pray for me that God arrange for me to visit Jesus place of birth God will help me financially to visit there in Jesus name Amen

  • Gen says:

    I’m 54 I waited fasted and prayed for a spouse all my life and God said NO it’s too late for me now Sometimes life isn’t fair and sometimes God just doesn’t care and He does say No I’m not bitter anymore I just know He died for my sins thats it. He blesses who he chooses to and I’m note one of those

  • Elkay Elkay says:

    Certainly physical beauty is attractive but a God-honoring marriage lasts a lifetime and this brings financial and health challenges, raising a family, involvement at church and a host of other issues where outward appearance is not so important. Then of course, there is old age, the beauty fades, wrinkled hands hold one another and tenderness and commitment take over.

    Beware of beauty alone. David fell “in love” with Bathsheba because of her external appearance and their family brought on incest and murder.

  • Rashid says:

    Jack and Ra
    I am not going to say I am agree or not agree ut I will say most men and women want outer attraction in their partner. Not just women and very few look for person what is in his or her heart. Plenty of example that not good looking man has beautiful model by his side that not true it all depend on many things. I have married a taller woman than me. It depend on heart of a man to grab the attention of woman and sane way goes for woman to grab attention of man I have been single f I r 4 years but I am not making my self available to meet a woman it is not going to happen but if I see a beautiful I feel more motivated to talk. There I s not set rule.

  • Jack says:

    Ra said on April 26

    >>>>I am a woman, and I’ll tell you, although many people like to deny this, women want physically attractive men. Physical attraction is not all there is to it but it is a big part of it.

    I can confirm in spades that what Ra says is true. The biggest item on a woman’s wish list is physical attractiveness–that’s about 80%, followed by mundane things like confidence in himself, ability to listen, ability make a woman laugh.

    So many guys here are niiiiiiice guys! Women don’t want nice–they want a guy who’s unpredictable, impromptu, does things she never sees coming, mysterious. These things are the things that act like a magnet for a woman, especially, ESPECIALLY Christian girls/women.

    Why?

    Because they have been raised in traditional households following boring predictable rules laid out in the Bible, so that by the time they reach adulthood they are so anxious to taste the forbidden fruit of badness they have been deprived of growing up that they throw themselves into the arms of the first bad boy who gives them a passing glance. Before they know it they are addicted to “badness”. Then comes the human wreckage these bad boys leave behind that the nice guys say they see in these women.

    I’m sorry, guys, this is the honest truth and I think a fair number of girls like Ra will confirm everything I say is true.

  • Jack says:

    Benny said:

    >>>the Bible says “He who finds a wife finds a good thing” and “It is not good that man should be alone.”

    I hear this a lot reading these posts and I would like to draw the readers’ attention to a couple of things:

    The verse says “finding a wife is a good thing”. Nowhere does that imply God will help you find a wife, just that if by chance you do you have found a good thing–like finding a pot of gold.

    This “it is not good that man should be alone” was not directed at all men as most Christian men interpret it, only to Adam, the first “man”. God was saying, “It is not good that Adam should be alone. I will create an helpmeet for ‘him’ ” And so He did. And every man since has been under the mistaken impression that God will find an helpmeet for them too. He will NOT. You either find him/her yourself with hard work, or a very few get extremely lucky and the perfect mate drops into your lap. But God does NOT promise Christians a spouse anywhere in the scriptures directly or implied. Even the verse, “He will supply all of your needs according to His riches in heaven” is not a covenant to find you a good spouse, just to supply your immediate needs i.e. to send you what He feels in His wisdom you need to get you out of a bad situation. Sorry, hurting for companionship does not constitute a life-or-death need, or we’d all have spouses, right?

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Boakyewaa, how can we pray for you? How was someone scamming you? You are looking in the right place for help: God will lead you through whatever circumstances you may find yourself. Trust in His help; listen for His leading; obey when He directs you.

    Lord God I pray for Boakyewaa and the struggles he/she is facing right now. Speak clearly and give him/her the strength to obey You no matter how challenging it may be. Amen.

    Boakyewaa, if it is too personal of a matter to talk about in public like this feel free to get in touch with one of our mentors. Your conversation will be much more private and safe. Go to http://powertochange.com/experience/talk-to-a-mentor/ and fill out the Mentor Request Form and one of our mentors will be in touch with you soon by email.

  • Steve says:

    To BennyL, you wrote an excellent comment that made a lot of sense to many of us men looking for a good woman to settle down with. And you are very extremely lucky that you have met the love of your life, and God really has blessed you. I can only hope he does the same for us lonely men that really hate being single and all alone now, especially for the holidays. Peace, and have a great holiday.

  • boakyewaa osei says:

    Pls God help n
    Me i was about being scammed

  • BennyL. says:

    OK, it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything here. God has blessed me with a relationship with a beautiful, Christian lady. I’m not here to brag, rather I would like to offer some advice to those still struggling with singleness.

    1. I do not believe in “purposeful singleness”. I do believe that some people (like the Apostle Paul) may choose to remain single. But, the Bible makes it clear that it is THEIR decision. I do not believe that God would create someone with an innate longing and desire for companionship, sex, family and children, and then choose to deny that to someone. A common response is “What if God wants that person to remain single so that they can focus all their attention on the Kingdom of Christ?”I My response, is to ask “In what way would a strong, loving, Christ centered marriage detract from that?”I would not such a marriage STRENGTHEN someones’s work for God?”

    2. God created marriage to satisfy certain desires. When Adam was lonely did God chide him for ” not letting God’s love be enough”? Enough for what? God’s love is enough to give salvation to those who are willing to accept Jesus as their Lord and Saviour. God’s love is enough to forgive sins, if the person will humble themselves and confess their sins and ask for forgiveness. However, expecting God’s love to be “enough” to fulfill your desires for intimacy and companionship, is mistaken at best. At least in the sense people usually present it. Usually someone (like the author of this article) will claim that God’s love is enough for us so we shouldn’t need or desire a wife (or husband). We should just focus on God and forget relationships with other people. Let me ask: when Adam was lonely, should he have just “let God’s love be enough”? When Abraham wanted a son should he have just “let God’s love be enough”?

    OR, is it possible that God’s love WAS enough to create a wife for Adam and to give a son to Abraham and Sarah? I believe that it IS. God’s love is so infinite (as is His holiness). God loved Adam, and because of His love for Adam, he created a wife for him.

    And that’s my point. This article says “Is the love of Jesus Christ enough for you?” The author says that instead of feeling these drives (which God created us with), we should focus only on God, and not care anymore about getting married. There’s no biblical support for that. Now, I DO believe that God’s love is enough. But not in the way this author claims. I believe that God’s love was enough to give me a relationship with this lady. And believe me, if it were not for God’s love, I would not have this relationship. One of the ways God shows His love is by putting people in our lives. That includes husbands and wives and children. Now, there are certain emotional needs that ONLY God can fulfill. Mankind has innate need for “something greater”. Spiritual companionship is a need that humans beings have. ONLY God can fulfill those desires.

    Here is my advice for singles who are lonely and depressed and feeling hopeless. I am one of you, I was where you are now, and God helped me out of that situation. I hope and pray that what worked for me, will work for you.

    1. Stop thinking that the desire for companionship and putting God first, are mutually exclusive. They are not. The Bible gives so much evidence of this. In the first few chapters of the Bible God said “It is not good that man should be alone”. The Apostle Paul said “It is better to marry than to burn.” You cannot put marriage ahead of God. God still has to be FIRST. Because if He is, then you have the right relationship with Him. One of the ways God can show His love for you, is by putting the right man or woman into your life. Stop thinking that by desiring marriage (and yes, sex) that you are somehow sinning. You are not.

    2. Pray without ceasing. When you pray and ask God for a spouse, remember all the Bible verses that talk about God’s gift of marriage. And humbly and respectfully, ask Him to provide one for you. I myself ask God to choose a woman for me and place her in my life. I had had enough of trying to find one on my own. I gave that up to God, admitted that my efforts to find someone fell short. Some people have the ability to find the right one, others it just happens (like it did with my parents), and still others (we are in this category) couldn’t find the right person if our lives depended on it. Perhaps God desires to show His glory through our struggles. And that’s as may be. I told God that I was done trying to find someone on my own. And that I wanted Him to decide for me. That doesn’t mean you just sit back and wait for him or her to show up at your front door. You still go out and meet people and live your life. What it DOES mean is that you let God handle the introductions. You will still have to do thr hard work of building a God centered relationship with this person.

    3. Remember that Satan HATES the institution of marriage. Satan hates anything and everything that God created. That is why he constantly attacks and tries to pervert it. But the Devil is a master of subtlety. I believe that one of the wsys he attacks and demoralizes Christian singles is by the false claim that God wants them to remain single. That God created them to suffer, that they will never be loved, etc. So, when you pray, rebuke the devil in Jesus’ name. Perhaps spiritual forces are at work that are preventing you from finding someone. The good news, is that evil has no power against God.

    4. Do your part. Live a healthy lifestyle, eat right, exercise regularly if you can. Take care of your appearance. Also, if you are crippled or disfigured or have a speech impediment or something, it DOESN’T matter. I have seen paraplegic men with absolutely gorgeous women. Do what you can with what you have. And trust God with the rest.

    5. Believe. The Bible makes it clear that faith is an absolutely essential part of our relationship with Christ. Accepting salvation is an act of faith. So is asking for forgiveness of sins. The same goes for prayer requests. It wasn’t until I realized that God is NOT opposed to my finding a woman, and that if I wanted His help I had to have FAITH that He would hear my prayers and act in whatever way He thought was best, that things began to change for me.

    I don’t believe God will give you anything you ask for (money, riches, etc). BUT, the Bible does say that marriage was ordained by God. Therefore, if you are right with God, and are desiring a marriage for the right reasons, then I believe God will honor that.

    I will be praying for everyone here who is lonely and hopeless.

  • Dave 2.0 says:

    Thanx for the prayers gang, I just seemed to have gotten myself into an emotional uproar before the holiday, very happy for my friend who was finally able to adopt just set off a flood of emotions. I enjoyed time with my family and friends over long weekend, but felt like a third wheel in most cases, but I am accustomed to that, its like eating alone…you can get used to anything.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Celine, Your messages will be removed. I appreciate your desire to honour your family.

    Lord God I do pray for Celine as she works to honour the family that You have put her in. I pray that she would hear Your direction of how best to do that and that she would have the strength and courage to follow Your leading. I pray for her family. Help them to see the character of Jesus in Celine and be drawn into a deeper relationship with You as well. Bring healing where there has been hurt. Bring wholeness where there has been brokenness. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  • Celine says:

    I was wondering if anyone knows if these comments will be on this website forever. Is it okay to have some removed. I feel bad about talking about my family and it was wrong to do. I love them very much. Yes I am concerned about them but it was awful of me to do that and evil. They wouldn’t do it to me. I feel like a horrible person. I regret putting anything on this website about them. I don’t know if I can undue the damage. It was foolish of me because they take care of me. I just want people to pray for them and that’s all that I should have said.

  • Chris Chris says:

    Brian…so sorry to hear of your marital struggles. from what you are saying, you seem to see others as having a relationship with God but not yourself. that can change today. God has a personal plan for your life that he wants you to know about and experience in his abundant thoughts for you. jesus died for you personally! you can experience freedom from sins and disappointments that others have done to you by receive jesus christ into your heart as your personal lord and savior. to know more about doing just that log onto knowingjesuspersonally.com or click talk to a mentor above. i pray that you would see just how much christ loves and cares for you and is just waiting for you to open your heart to him so he can cleanse, mould and shape your life into what he has always wanted you to be in jesus name amen!

  • Brian says:

    I’m a good person and it does me no justice, it seems if a man shows compassion it is taken as a sign of weakness by most women. They think your gay or weak so have nothing to do with you. It’s quite confusing. Women say they want a good man but they always go for the bad boy when given the opportunity. Been married twice and both times they left me for guys that were absolute jerks, but that’s what they wanted. Of course they didn’t stay with those guys because they ultimately were recognized as jerks but that didn’t help my situation. To this day I pray to God for a relationship where the person loves me for me. I just don’t think that’s what life is about though because I’ve yet to see any response from the big guy upstairs. All I’m asking for is opportunity, just creating a situation where I cross paths with someone but alas that does not happen. I’ve tried those dating sites and they are useless. What’s the answer? Maybe if someone who God actually listens to prays for me then something might happen. Who knows…

  • Celine says:

    hello dave 2.0

    i’m sorry you feel depressed. I don’t know what to say. I just know someday soon it is over. It actually is kind of sad that has society crumbles Christians appear further apart then ever with just a few hours of corporate prayer and people just go on with their lives. The cities could burn and people could just walk past. I get more depressed that I know what’s coming but I don’t think I’m prepared for it or that many people. I have to spend the holidays alone because I’ve been sick. I could have gone with my parents but where they go I don’t fit in. I don’t fit into my family either what can a person talk about if not God. I don’t really know what it will take for them to want God. I don’t know what’s coming will wake them up. We are so close to having a conflict with Russia and so close to this current economy ending so close to an earthquake. It will soon be over Dave 2.0 and all our problems will be gone. There won’t be loneliness, war, crime etc. I’ve been listening to some Gospel music and that comforts me. Some are quite old songs but they still are wonderful.

  • Dave 2.0 says:

    OK, I’ve been doing really good until tonight. Avery goo ingle female friend of mine finally was able to adopt a child after four years of trying. I’m so happy for her. Also I have become depressed, find myself just tearing up, in the absents of a family of my own, I have had friends that I look after. I realized she was last I looked after, now she has a family. I am very happy now that my friends all have someone, I’m not envious or jealous, just sad as I am no longer needed and being the third wheel eventually gets old for everyone. Tonight I am not angry, just sad, maybe one glass of wine to many. I know things are not as we planned but as God has planned, but having no idea as to the plan is saddening as I sit in front Christmas tree that no children will enjoy on Christmas morning. Right now I will have hard time going to The two extended family gatherings tomorrow, while all my cousins have families of their own, two new births just this month, I’m in a holding pattern. I have not lost my regained faith, but I feel pushed almost to the edge. All I can say is that hope that all of my friends would have someone to love has been achieved, What next? Just having a weak moment.

  • Abdullah says:

    Peace,in the name of god the most merciful the most gracious. If we understand that a spouse is provision from god, and that he created us in pairs. Marriage is the way of the righteous and we should all seek marriage to be a lowering for our gazes, and a protection for our private parts. It should be encouraged to the young and old single people amongst us. And during our time single try to build our relationship with our lord and be happy with his decree. I invite all of you to worship the one true god and not put partners with him. He is above all of his creation. How could god be a man? Did you not see Jesus and Mary ate food and used the bathroom like everyone else!? Glory be to god! I invite you all to submission to the one god who has no partners (islam) as a way of life.
    Peace

  • Celine says:

    Dear dgphm:

    That is so true what Chris said. I was reading a book about people in the Bible in despair and how God showed Elijah it is the still small voice to listen to.
    1 Kings 19:11-13Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)

    11 And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake: 12 and after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. 13 And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?

    Jesus loves you and doesn’t want you to desire cancer. It is interesting I read sometimes Jesus gets lonely to and he longs to talk to us. I’m sure he is talking to. I do have doubts if I hear God but I think God has been telling me to Love God more than my family which is hard for me. I do love them but I shouldn’t love them more.

    I want you to know you are not alone. There are many lonely people out there. I’m lonely all the time even around people because some are abusive and I want to escape but I know suicide is wrong because it makes God a liar. I’m not sure why God allows me to be around such abusive people but I have to love them. So those that don’t know God are blinded and we have to love them anyway. Anyway the reason I write all of this is to tell you that there are so many that don’t really have anyone. So I think I’m going to go help at a homeless shelter. I hope that God can use me to witness to those people and I think that would help you as well. Maybe you are already witnessing to those that are lonely and in need. They need the spiritual and physical food

    The people who wander the streets with nobody to love them and those that turn to drugs and alcohol. I think it’s time for the Body of Christ really to go out in the streets and really witness to those in need because some won’t enter a church. I desire that so much but I have to get cleaned up first.

  • Chris Chris says:

    dgphm…i am sorry to hear of your struggles. yes, as a married man it would be easy for me to tell you that marriage isnt exactly heaven on earth but that isnt what you want to hear. on the other hand you can know that jesus identifies with your struggles and doesnt condemn you for them. no preacher can tell you what Gods will is for you life. you can read the bible for yourself and see that God does in fact give us the desire of our hearts. why are you not yet married, i wouldnt know but there is no reason to think you wont be. there is no reason to give up your faith or your hope. jesus promises he will be found of us as we continue to seek him and listen to his voice to guide us. remember prayer is a two way Street. we pray but then we need to listen to christs instructions to lead us into our own personal promised land. i pray jesus today encourages your heart. that you wouldnt give up on your faith by what someone else says but be fully convined in your own heart that what jesus promises he is also able to perform. heb 6 amen

  • DGPHM says:

    Dear God Please Help Me. I’m so confused and broken and discouraged… Some people on here have been single longer than me and they find some hope and happiness in God. I am giving up. I feel tortured. I had no idea that life would be like this. That God could be so quiet. My prayers for help still go unanswered. I cry as I write this. I feel like my situation has derailed all my beliefs. I don’t understand how a loving, compassionate God who knows the future can be so silent with me. I don’t know if His answers are no or wait but I do know they are not yes. I cannot begin to describe how heartbreaking it is to be where I am. The pastor on the radio says that God knows what’s best for people. He kind of implied that its better for (whoever this might apply to) the person to remain single! This is heartbreaking news. This isn’t good news. This isn’t providing for me. This isn’t giving me the desire of my heart. This isn’t meeting my needs. This is creating me with the desire to love and be loved with being able to love or be loved. This is giving me desires that I don’t even want that can only be met by a wife in which God says if burn with passion then get married. But if I’m burning with passion then I’m sinning. Sinning separates me from God. A child of God will not continue sinning, 1 John 3:8 and 5:18. So my situation is a curse! Just like Judas it would have been better if I was never born! I just don’t get it? Jesus died for my sins. Past tense. I am a sinner even though I don’t want to be. Jesus defeated satan at the cross. Satan and all of his dumb followers are still messing things up. I didn’t ask to be born. I didn’t ask for this old sin nature. I didn’t ask to be unattractive. I feel so cursed! I’m already weeping and gnashing my teeth on a regular basis. I’m so alone and I hate it! Alone, weeping and gnashing my teeth, it seems more like I’m being prepared for hell. What’s really sad is that I have found one great thing about hell. The option to love and be loved will be gone. Once the door closes I will know that I will suffer and burn and weep and gnash my teeth for eternity. God says that He will never leave me or forsake me but for me to write these things, can’t you tell that I have felt forsaken for many years? I’m in my early fortys. I have asked God to unmake me several times. Or stage four cancer. What a blessing cancer would be. I have fantasized about getting that news from the doctor and I rejoice. The look on the doctors face when I tell him I don’t want any treatments. Can you tell that I am broken? Is this Gods will for my life? My face hurts from crying. I just want it all to go away. No more pain, no more confusion, no more maybe God… I just want to cease to exist. I don’t deserve Heaven. I deserve hell. Please pray for me. I know God can do miracles. Pray that God will unmake me. Or pray that I can be blessed with cancer. Yes I know exactly what I am asking for. Dear God Please Help Me

  • sabi says:

    Susan, Thank you so much for the prayers.
    I am from Pakistan.

  • Susan Susan says:

    Hi Sabi,

    I am sorry to hear. But, I want to encourage you, stand for the living God. He will never leave you. We have to make our heavenly Father happy. Don’t hurry up for marriage. Marriage is holy and if you wait for God’s timing. Where do you live Sabi?

    Father God,

    Thank for this time. Lord, we come again with Sabi’s issue. Lord, I pray for his dad. Lord, touch, change him and open his eyes so that he will know that You are the true living God. Lord, I pray for Sabi. protect him and strengthen him. Thank YOu for hearing our prayers. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  • sabi says:

    I am praying to God,
    O, Lord ! I am sure you are hearing my prayers and i am glad. Lord, i love you and obey your command.I pray that you bless me with a right partner moreover you already know that i don’t want any non Christian lady in my life but my Dad doesn’t understand because he is against Christian and doesn’t like me since i have refused his demand.
    Except me no one is Christian in my family eventually i want to have a Bible but unfortunately my dad would not allow me but i am grateful to God that God helps me to study through Internet and it doesn’t matter but sometimes computer sucks my eyes and hard to sit in front of computer for long hours.
    Lord, please help me and bring someone to me real Christian because my life seems very complicated and there is so much stress from the Dad because he wants my marriage with his niece (daughter of Dad’s brother).
    I believe in God and have placed all my desires and dreams in the hand of God.

    And Jehovah God saith, `Not good for the man to be alone, I do make to him an helper – as his counterpart. ‘

    Genesis 2:18-24New International Version (NIV)

    18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

    19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

    But for Adam[a] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[b] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[c] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

    23 The man said,

    “This is now bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
    she shall be called ‘woman,’
    for she was taken out of man.”
    24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

    In God I trust and anxiously waiting to see a miracle.

    I love you God! Muah
    God bless us all! Amen

  • sabi says:

    I am praying to God,

    O, Lord ! I am sure you are hearing my prayers and i am glad. Lord, i love you and obey your command.I pray that you bless me with a right partner moreover you already know that i don’t want any non Christian lady in my life but my Dad doesn’t understand because he is against Christian and doesn’t like me since i have refused his demand.
    Except me no one is Christian in my family eventually i want to have a Bible but unfortunately my dad would not allow me but i am grateful to God that God helps me to study through Internet and it doesn’t matter but sometimes computer sucks my eyes and hard to sit in front of computer for long hours.
    Lord, please help me and bring someone to me real Christian because my life seems very complicated and there is so much stress from the Dad because he wants my marriage with his niece (daughter of Dad’s brother).
    I believe in God and have placed all my desires and dreams in the hand of God.

    And Jehovah God saith, `Not good for the man to be alone, I do make to him an helper – as his counterpart. ‘

    Genesis 2:18-24New International Version (NIV)

    18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

    19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

    But for Adam[a] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[b] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[c] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

    23 The man said,

    “This is now bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
    she shall be called ‘woman,’
    for she was taken out of man.”
    24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

    In God I trust and anxiously waiting to see a miracle.

    I love you God! Muah
    God bless us all! Amen
    fb.com/why.iamalive

  • Susan Susan says:

    Hi Sabi,

    Let’s pray:

    Father, I commit Your child Sabi and his desires in Your hand. Lord,Sabi loves You and he wants to obey Your command. Lord, I pray that You bless him with a right partner… a godly partner.. at the right time. Lord, fill Sabi with Your Holy Spirit. Use him mightily for Your glory. I pray for Sabi’s parents. I pray for their salvation. Lord, draw his entire family closer to You and help that family experience Your love. Thank You for hearing our prayers. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  • Shelley Shelley says:

    Dear Father God.

    Lord I pray that You will be with Sabi, that You will guide them into the right decision of marriage, in Jesus name Amen

  • Renee says:

    @ Elkay, thanks for the encouragement I trust that God will show Himself strong in my life. Be blessed too

  • sabi says:

    Currently I am a member of cbc online ministries – Community Bible Church and joined that two years ago, since I joined I am feeling glad and very close to Jesus although except me all are non Christian in my family but I grateful to God and he brought some Christian friends to me on Facebook, it helps me to feel good and gives me encouragement. Ere I was unconscious to the God’s word but he showed me the right path. I pray to God please help me to find someone real Christian because I can’t get marriage with any unbeliever but my Dad hates me and wants me to marriage his niece ( his brother’s daughter ) its totally wrong.
    I believe in God and I am sure he will bring someone in my life forever.

  • Elkay Elkay says:

    Thank you Renee. As I read your post, two verses came to mind . . . 1 Cor 15:58 says that nothing we do for the Lord is ever wasted and at Rev 22:12, Jesus says He has rewards to give us according to our works . . . I pray these messages bless you.

  • Renee says:

    @Elkay, thank you for your message. You know what I got saved when I was 25 and was so highly involved with evangelism, intercession, crusades (I am in Africa :)), praise and worship etc At that time whilst I was serving the Lord I also began praying for my future husband, and I believed with all my heart that because I was concerned more with kingdom issues God was going to also answer my prayer for a spouse. Now i am turning 46 and still single so thats why the hope seems to be dwindling since I sort of think that maybe its not His will for me…….anyway He is God and worthy of all praise

  • Susan Susan says:

    Welcome Rashid.

  • Dylan Anderson says:

    Thank you so much Rob Eager for putting this up. I have had problems with not finding love for awhile now, and even though I am still young, I still wanted one bad. Little did I realize is that I don’t NEED a girlfriend or a wife, God IS my love-life. I need to accept that from now on and forget about having anyone else love me. Again, thank you and may God bless you.

  • Rashid says:

    Susan Thank you for your pray.

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