Does God Promise You a Spouse?

Written by Rob Eagar

Do wonder if God has heard your prayers? Learn what to do when God is silent with this interactive study.

Jennifer was a disgruntled, single woman at my church. She was thirty-six years old and complained that her life was slipping away. Six years had passed since her last boyfriend, and her dating life remained in limbo. Jennifer wondered whether her heart still had the capacity to love. Beneath her jaded disposition festered an undercurrent of resentment toward God.

After attending church regularly for over two years, she suddenly disappeared. Three months later, I bumped into her at a restaurant and asked her whether she had moved to another church. She replied, “No, I’ve quit church altogether. I just can’t bring myself to worship a God who would leave me in such loneliness.” Jennifer concluded that if she was ever going to let God back into her life, He’d better bring her a husband—and fast.

Does God promise us a spouse? The Bible says “yes” by describing Christians as the spiritual bride of Christ. Our true spouse is Jesus. Yet, many of us say, “I’m glad to be spiritually married to Christ, but I can’t feel Him. Wouldn’t it be better if I could enjoy God’s love with someone else? I want Jesus with skin on.” So, we pray for God to bring us an earthly mate.

Related: Married or single, none of us are second-best. We are all God’s first choice.

The gripe for love

My search for a spouse turned into a cycle of frustration as I encountered numerous relational struggles and a wife who abandoned me six months into our marriage. I started to wonder if God actually cared about my romantic relationships. Whenever I felt particularly upset about being single, I would sit in my den recliner and gripe to God about the injustice of my social life. Knowing He possessed omnipotent power made it seem logical to expect a wife from Him.

Whenever I demanded that God rush me a spouse, however, He seemed to whisper this question in my heart, “Rob, is the love of Jesus Christ enough for you? Have you allowed My complete forgiveness and unconditional acceptance to satisfy your heart?”

In tears of resignation, I conceded, “I appreciate Your love, Lord, but all I really want is a wife.” I still believed that my heart needed the affection of a person in order to feel complete. In essence, I valued human love more than God’s love.

One day, I began to look back over my life and the numerous dead-end relationships from my past. In each situation, romance had started out with a bang but fizzled under the weight of performance-based love. No matter who I met, either I was too demanding or she couldn’t accept me for who I was.

Suddenly, something clicked within my mind. I thought, “Why am I chasing marriage when it cannot provide the unconditional love that my heart craves? Only Christ offers everything I need.” With this new perspective, I relinquished to God my demand to get married. I still wanted to find a spouse someday, but I no longer considered marriage necessary to complete my life. If I remained single for the rest of my life, that was okay—God promised to fulfill my heart.

When we demand that God bring us a mate, we block His love from enhancing our social life. The anger that we harbor builds a wall between us and Him. If we are honest with ourselves, we realize that our demand for marriage is a refusal of God’s love because we want our selfish desires met. God will never stop loving us, but we ignore Him when we desperately seek a human being to make us happy. Furthermore, whatever we depend upon for our happiness will wind up controlling us. If we believe that we need a human spouse to be satisfied, then people, rather than God, will dictate our lives.

God is in control of everything, but He does not intervene just to make our lives easy. He had no intention of making a woman magically appear and fall in love with me. Instead, God wanted to use His power to mature me into someone who would initiate sacrificial love towards other people. I wanted to get love, while God was teaching me to give love.

The freedom to love

Likewise, God is working in your life to help you meet and love other people. However, you make the final choice as to whom you accept and whom you reject. When you interact with another person, you have the freedom to decide which direction your relationship will take. You can choose to become romantic, just be friends, or end your time together and separate. In addition, the other person has a decision in the matter, which means he can influence the outcome. Consequently, a relationship will not develop unless both of you decide to love each other. On the other hand, if you or the other person make selfish decisions, your relationship may crumble.

The desire for marriage is a fair request, but the consequences of living in a fallen world can prevent people from reaching that goal. For instance, you can pursue someone romantically, but that individual may choose to ignore you, a crisis or illness could hinder you, or that person may decide to leave you. The sins of humanity create numerous barriers to good relationships.

Yet, why is life so hard sometimes? Why doesn’t God use His power to protect us from pain? Actually, God is at work, but in a different way than some of us realize.

God uses His sovereign power to encourage people to love each other, but He also allows us to make selfish choices that can tear us apart. God permits calamity so that we can experience His greatest gift – a free will. Without free will, you and I would be robots or lifeless, stuffed animals. Fortunately, God limits His power to let us make our own choices in life. Does your free will nullify God’s omnipotence? No, as Psalm 37:23 says, “The steps of a man are established by the Lord.” God is so powerful that He can allow you to choose and still work the outcome for His glory.

Why is free will so important? God wants you to enjoy true love, and true love cannot exist without a choice. If you were forced to love God or another person, then love would disappear, and you would be under manipulation. Free will is the key ingredient to true love.

I recognized the importance of this truth when I couldn’t get a date for my junior high school prom. I had asked several girls, but they all turned me down. Four days before the big dance, however, a friend told me about a girl, named Tiffany, who needed a date. Frankly, I wasn’t attracted to her, but I asked her anyway, because she was my only option.

During the prom, Tiffany and I attempted to be cordial, but it became obvious that neither of us had an interest in each other. We didn’t talk during dinner, we didn’t want to dance as the band played, and we didn’t smile as our pictures were taken. Most of the evening, we sat in silence and stared dreamily at the students whom we really liked. Through that ordeal, I learned that love cannot exist unless both parties freely choose to be together.

Therefore, finding an earthly spouse will not occur through demanding God to miraculously bring someone to your doorstep. Marriage is not a predetermined process that happens mysteriously. You will get frustrated if you believe that God mystically pairs people together. If God predetermines marriage, then why doesn’t He stop divorce? Instead, God lets us make the decision to love or the decision to leave.

The choice to love

God brings people across your path and encourages you to love them, but He lets you manage your relational responses. Thus, marriage revolves around deliberately making choices to love another person. You can improve your opportunities for romance by getting out and choosing to sacrificially love people. Or, you can opt for selfish or reclusive behavior and diminish your relational prospects. The quality of your social life hinges on the choices you make.

Does God promise you a spouse? Yes, as the bride of Jesus Christ. Does God promise you an earthly spouse? No, because finding a husband is a process, in which two people decide to sacrifice themselves for each other’s benefit. So, don’t let the goal of earthly marriage control your life. Otherwise, you will become miserable, because you cannot control the future or free will of other people.

God wants your spiritual marriage to be your heart’s primary source of love and acceptance. Earthly relationships are the avenues to express His love to others. The more you love other people, the more you increase opportunities for an intimate relationship to develop. God may not orchestrate a passionate romance on earth, but He promises a life of passion to enjoy with Him.

Questions:

Use the following questions to consider if your desire for marriage has become a demand:

  • Am I dating to find someone who can make me feel better about myself?
  • Can I feel content and thankful to God in my singleness?
  • Am I cynical about relationships with the opposite sex?
  • Am I afraid of the possibility of never getting married?
  • Is the love of Jesus Christ enough for me?

If your desire for marriage has turned into a demand, find encouragement by meditating on these verses: Philippians 4:6-13; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.

devo-interact-icon-42x42So, how’s your love life? Do you need to talk? Either contact us privately by filling out this form and one of our mentors will contact you or make a comment about this article below.  (The form is under the last comment.)

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2,179 Responses to “Does God Promise You a Spouse?”

  • Celine says:

    I find some of this stuff interesting but I know some will be angry at me but after falling for guys that flirt with everyone I realized that I don’t want men like that. I want a husband who is like Christ if I supposed to be married. A husband who is patient kind, keeps no record of wrongs etc. . A husband who is willing to die for me. A husband who doesn’t care if I age or maybe my hair isn’t perfect all the time. Looks come and go but being Christ like is the most important. You can look up what women want but how many of those that do those studies knows what Jesus wants in a husband? I wouldn’t want a guy that uses research to lure me to find them attractive or I wouldn’t want a guy that dances with two women in one night. I do get lonely and don’t like being single but I think it wouldn’t be healthy if I was with a guy that used wordly wisdom to attract me. Just like it wouldn’t be healthy if a guy wanted to be with me because I dressed a certain way. I has a female have to careful as well. Yes men shouldn’t be too wimpy as believers but just be Christ like. Hopefully a guy and a girl wouldn’t just want someone because of how much money they have. That’s why I don’t like dating sites. Yes it’s important for a husband to provide and the wife not to be lazy but in our economy right now we need some mercy on those that are struggling with finances and those that try hard to find work or stay employed. I went to college but it’s hard finding a job. I’ve tried. So kyle a Godly female wants a man who is Christ like and will provide for them but you don’t have to be a millionaire. You don’t have to be a supermodel but just take care of yourself but you don’t have to obsess and exercise all day long or you don’t have to stop eating a candy bar every once in awhile if you choose. You don’t have to get plastic surgery and I would hope if I was married my husband won’t want to push me to do that either. If you’re struggling to find a job I’m not saying you are the female needs to have mercy and know you are trying. yes even for me it’s easy to get caught up in that but being like Jesus should be more valuable than money and if our economy does collapse before Jesus returns than it will be more challenging but God not going to let us starve. And if your meant to be married it doesn’t matter how tall or short you are. It’s sad that we care so much about looks even though we didn’t choose how we looked. In a way I’m glad God didn’t let us choose we would all probably look the same and their would be no variety. Please don’t be angry Dave for me saying this post. But I think the research might be for temporary relationships. I suggest you stick to the Bible to know what God wants in a husband. Then it will guarantee you a better chance. Sorry for my long posts. Just one more thought if I women want s you to have a big checking or saving account who says she would stick with you if you feel on hard times. Wouldn’t you want someone who would like stay with you if you are struggling financially and lift you up and encourage you. Just like you don’t want a superficial female. I don’t think Godly women want a superficial male.

  • jenn says:

    this is to Kyle ,…..I was just browsing through the site and came acrossed your comment ,don’t let someone else detour you from going to church or seeking the Lord ,as a Christian woman I think a woman that makes a comment like that is not someone thats even worth your time first off ,second just because she might not have thought you were the hottest thing ever does not mean you’re ugly or what have you it just means that you are not her type as I’m sure some men would think that she was not their type either or the hottest thing ever to walk around ,and from the sounds of it her attitude stinks .and as a Christia,n woman I am very embarrassed by that .not every man is going to think that I’m hot stuff but I’m sure at least one or two think I am good looking that’s just the way it goes .long story short people can be rude mean and Ridgid, but Ii will tell you a truth not all Christians are like that in fact God’s people if they are God’s people know better to even think that way or speak like that to other people . take care and God bless ,

  • Dave 2.0 says:

    Hey Kyle….that’s tuff man, no one deserves that kind of treatment, but please don’t think you are the alone in this type of treatment, I have been turned down because I’m to short ( told to my face) to young looking etc…I just keep saying her loss, it gets harder all the time. I am attempting to enlarge my dating pool as most of the churches in my area are desert waste lands when it come to single women, the online christian dating services are a joke. I am a bit bit of a fitness freak..workout…eat healthy, no middle age spread AKA beer gut, like alot of guys my age (I will soon be 49) So i have never really considered dating a larger woman as they do not take care of their bodies so how could i expect them to take care of me if the need should ever arrive…but I realize I could deal with a big girl who treats me good, I would treat her good and also get her on the path to a healthy lifestyle, and before I get flamed for saying that hearing some people have health issues that cause them to gain weight, the majority of folks out there have a non health problem that causes them to gain weight, take a look in your shopping cart before you criticize my comment. Kyle don’t give up, I was considering it myself, but that would mean admitting defeat, and that’s not me, I fight until the end. Kyle i wish I could talk to you outside this forum, but not sure how to go about making contact without revealing personal info to the world.

  • Kyle says:

    Dave 2.0, being assertive/confident is not being a “bad boy.” Plenty of good, decent, “nice” men are assertive and confident. A “bad boy” would walk up to the lady and say “let’s dance, ‘female dog’” (had to use a non-profane version but he would not) and drag her onto the dance floor. She would drool over him the rest of the night no matter how he treated her. If you’ve been watching the news, I’m sure you saw the stories about the MMA fighter “War Machine” and what he did to his ex-girlfriend. (Please, no debate on her less than honorable profession. No woman deserves what happened to her.) He is a known abuser and yet woman after woman threw themselves at him. “Bad boys” try to dominate and control women, use them for their own ends, and then ditch them once they’re extremely damaged goods. They do nothing but leave a trail of human wreckage wherever they go. That said, for whatever reason, so many women will throw themselves at these guys.

    This past Sunday I did something I haven’t done in 4 years except for a funeral; I went to church. I knew I shouldn’t have, but one of my coworkers, the only one I know is a Christian, has been asking me to come since December and like a fool I finally accepted. His real reason was to introduce me to a single lady in the church who is around my age and he told me this ahead of time. I have no doubt his motives were sincere and honest. He’s one of the few people I work with I actually trust. The rest would sell me and anyone else up river in an instant to advance themselves. I figured I would get it out of the way so he’d leave me alone. I could not go into it with any expectation whatsoever as I did not want to be disappointed.

    Even though I was nervous, terrified would probably be a better description, I went and met up with him and his wife outside the church. We sat down and chatted for a few minutes. A few of their friends said hello, but that was about it. So far so good, right? Might be a potted plant, but at least no one is trying to rip my roots out. When the pastor told everyone to “meet and greet” those around us, his wife went to get the lady they wanted me to meet. I had already resolved myself to be confident and assertive; something that has become difficult for me in the last few years and the more beautiful the woman is, the harder it becomes. Anyway, I introduced myself and shook her hand (which she offered before I had the chance to do the same) as soon as she walked up. I was shocked; a woman who actually seemed to show me respect, if for no other reason than that is what Christians should do. That lasted all of about 30 seconds. As she was walking off with my coworker’s wife, I heard her say, “Why’d you say he would be cute? He’s nothing close to cute. Next time make sure he really is hot.” Sometimes, having exceptional hearing, just like having a near perfect memory, sucks. Most people wouldn’t have heard it, but I’m glad I did as I’d rather get it over with than get burned later since it hurts more. I waited until his wife came back and told her I heard what their “friend” said about me. The look of abject horror on her face kind of shocked me; she clearly didn’t know that I heard it. I thanked them for their kindness and walked out. At this point, I doubt I will ever set foot in a church again. I’m sure no one will believe me because it just seems too farfetched. As I’ve said before, if all of these things hadn’t happened to me, I wouldn’t believe it could happen to anyone.

  • Dave Kennedy Dave says:

    Other Dave. The Creator has revealed himself. Praying the Lord reveals Himself to each of us and that we respond as He desires. Love you man.

  • Dave says:

    @ Dave from Other Dave….all that is true however I think you are over simplifying…in other words giving your best Sunday school answer, no insult intended. Yes I know Jesus love, yes I know God loves me and yes I know I have to answer for my sins same as everyone else will. But like it or not….God has no skin, he does not talk back, he does not ask how your day was, you can’t slow dance late into the night with him, he does not bring you soup when you have cold, he does not call and check on you see if you got home alright, he does not call to just hear your voice. It can’t be Gods plan for us who are single to be lonely from sun up to sun down every day of our lives, there has got to be more to it…otherwise it was not much of plan to begin with and that can’t be true.

  • Dave Kennedy Dave says:

    Dear Other Dave……The point Dave is that someday we do have to answer the Creator’s question, “who do you trust?” That is the ultimate question. Spouses are important. Girl friends are important. They are not the most important. I encourage all to not wait until the Creator asks the question, before making the decision that a person trusts Him. And I never forget my favorite song that is full of truth. It goes like this Other Dave…..Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak and He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus love me. Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so. Blessings to you.

  • Dave says:

    @ Dave from other Dave…OK I read it. I think you went off the deep end with that, no offense. I’m just trying a little different approach, even the Bible describes a worthy Husband as one who will provide, protect and lead his family all the while respecting and honoring his wife. If you are a “wussifide” man, first your not going to attract a woman and 2nd if by some miracle you do you are not going to be able to fulfill your obligations as a husband or Father. I will also point out you do not have to look very far to see the results of not having a strong father figure in the home. I’m not saying turn our backs on God, but we have become soft as men.

  • Dave Kennedy Dave says:

    Dear other Dave…..God also loves us so much that He let’s each of us choose our path. And He gives us alternatives… Life or death. . I read Romans 1 starting in verse 20. It is not long other Dave, but it describes you and I at some point in our life. Take five minutes and read it….. Then let me know what you think.

  • Dave says:

    I guess I’m gonna refer to myself as other Dave, basically at the moment I am not concerned Biblical implication of selecting a mate. First you have to be able to attract a mate…so I have bee scouring the net for any and all articles and studies on how to attract a woman. The over riding theme so far is women want men who make the feel, safe, secure and has the ability to provide for her. Despite all Feminist stuff you hear, you can’t change the hard wiring in men or women…its part of the survival of the fittest survival of the species if you will. I think a lot of men myself included have taken being a nice guy to far..were we appear to be less manly/masculine we have become timid little boys and lost our edge…this is why it seems that most women tend to go for the guy who is a bit edgier not necessary a bad boy to but a more masculine type.

    This weekend I put this theory to the test, went out dancing with some friends, there were two single women there that I am acquainted with, more friends of friends. I only see them every few months if that. Anyway I have danced with the in the past and also been turned down by them in the past when asked to dance. In the past a slow dance with either one involved a respectable distance between the me and them since we were non a couple. Well I changed that up to see what their response would be. First I took just a bit more of an aggressive tone and attitude, Instead of “would you like to dance” I changed to “lets dance” Never got turned down one time, the other thing was instead a “respectable” distance between us I pulled them in close and tight….Guess what happened they both responded….heads on my shoulders, finger in my hair and hands rubbing up and down my back and a little lower. Also ended each dance by bowing to them or getting on my knees and bowing to them, women like funny also. That’s as far as it went, but they both responded to my change in approach in what any man would consider positive, so a little “bad boy” is not necessarily a bad thing if you are trying to attract a woman.

  • Dave says:

    Chris…..I appreciate your post. Help me understand where Scripture talks about “the man really being the one to take charge”. What is the context of that Scripture? What does that “take charge” look like? Is it the person making the plan, deciding, giving orders? Is it the person doling out discipline? Is it the person being the army sergeant of the family? Or Chris, is there another model that Scripture talks about? And if so, what does that look like in a family or in a potential family in the searching phase of life? Blessings.

  • Chris Landwerlen Chris Landwerlen says:

    Suzanne…its imperative in any relationship that the man really being the one to take charge. that is one of the ways we can discern whether or not this person could ever become our lawfully married mate since the man is to take the leadership in the home and be the head under christ. since this person you mention isnt doing that, then you can be free to trust jesus for the person who would. blessings!!

  • jenn says:

    Suzzane,please forgive the mistake in spelling lol autocorrect doesn’t work well ,meant to say our emotions lie sometime ,not fly lol ……(concerning the last post I posted in response )

  • jenn says:

    Suzanne ,even though it is very difficult yes you need to let go .I will be in prayer for you to help you along the way and know that God’s Word if he spoke that to you then yes you need to listen and just let it go and listen ,to his counsel ,our emotions sometimes fly so always stick with the Word of God to have self control and over rule our emotions .if someone is supposed to be in our life and we pray directly to the father about it and you stated you clearly hear his voice then he will make a way if not then parting ways and go about your business and take it as it is .many blessings towards you ,know you are loved by the Almighty God King of Kings .

  • Suzanne says:

    Hello,
    Thank you for your input. I googled ” when God says one thing, and the guy another” because I met and have known a guy for over a year and half, to who we briefly dated, became best friends.. and stayed in that quasi weird place almost the entire time .. Somewhere in between being romantically attracted,… to just talking daily .. And seeing each other every month or so.. for over a year. ( he lived 2 hrs away and worked out of state during the week) All the time he never wanted a commitment, knowing he would be moving to Colorado with work once his son graduated high school. ( during all this time there was a lot of push, pulling to which I confronted him abt) he never discusses his feelings..

    It was painful to be in that ” weird place” but I fell in love with him. He told me later, he couldn’t let himself fall for me knowing he was eventually leaving Florida in the next year.
    During this time, I cried out to The Lord Jesus to give me direction, on whether to let go, ( at that time he didn’t want to let go) or to keep praying abt us. I flat out asked if it was his will .. To please let me know. I know how the Holy Spirit speaks to me personally, and heard and felt him say ” yes, yes” . I shall never forget that evening I prayed that, the exact place and time. I also read up a lot on commitment issues, to which he fit90 percent of the signs of having commitment issues.
    Once his son graduated, he gradually started pulling away.. But said he wanted to remain friends. I’ve been so torn., emotionally .. Since I know 100 percent what God said to me, yet see he will not commit. Once even said he thinks I need a different type guy, then saying he needs a guy like him that isn’t moving to Florida. He leaves in 2 weeks.. And communicates much less.. In one line texts mostly but still wants to stay friends.
    I’m so hurt.. But trying to move on..
    .. I have tried a dating site and met a nice Christian guy there.. But I’m confused on what to do. I don’t know if he is using free will to go his own way, as the article speaks abt, or if I should keep faith believing…. Would God think I’m being faithless.. Or do I take it he is just using his free will. When together, .. We felt like soul mates.. But know.. It doesn’t seem to matter to him.
    Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much God Bless!
    Suzanne
    Please do not publish

  • Rashid says:

    Jenn
    You are very right I agree with you. Faith on God will never fail marriage or any problem by trusting him we will get plenty blessing

  • jenn says:

    Rashid, I think men and woman think of getting rewarded with spouse children, money ect. ,but God requires a love that Exepts nothing but itself in return with or without those things. I would luv to have all those blessings but also understand his will be done. Plus I guess not knowing 100% what the future holds in each one of our lifes is part of the journey and gives us the gift of Faith that the Lord our God,King of kings knows what’s best for each of us,and that’s something I need to remimd myself daily.:)

  • Rashid says:

    Hi Jenn
    For men to faith on God is important in order to get their wishes if man think he is going to get rewarded a wife because he think that’s why he is believing on God. It a faith on God without any doubt and then hope for love, wife and children even money.

  • jenn says:

    Thank you Rashid. To Dave who is thinking he has fallen away , dear dave, I think u still belive or you wouldn’t be on this site. Also this life is going to be full of disipointments, it doesn’t matter if u look like a supermodel or not, rich or poor, But keep in mind that even though I’m sure you have heard it before it is true, this life is NOT forever, focus on the reality of true joy that only comes from above, and trust that the Lord Wants YOU to have it no matter what is going on. Look above the time for redemption is at hand.

  • Dave Kennedy Dave Kennedy says:

    Dave, this is not work I need to do for you. It is between you and your Creator. If you have doubts or questions, you owe it to yourself to learn whether or not God is real. Many people struggle with questions and doubts. You may be one of those people. It does not mean you are good or bad. It simply means you have questions. You are not alone. Many people before you have had questions. Actually, shouldn’t we question the aspects of life which are most meaningful and important?I gently and kindly request you look honestly at Jesus. Please put away any prejudice you have and take an unbiased look at the person of Jesus. If God does not exist, you will have wasted a minute or so reading this. If God is real and if He has communicated with human beings through Jesus Christ, this is the most urgent item in the world and in comparison nothing else really matters.Please consider praying the atheist’s or agnostic’s prayer. You can find this in many forms. The following is found in John Stott’s Basic Christianity, a book which I highly recommend to those who have questions about the person of Jesus. “God, if you exist (and I don’t know you do) and you can hear this prayer (and I don’t know if you can), I want to tell you I am an honest seeker after the truth. Show me if Jesus is your Son and the Savior of the world. And if you bring conviction to my mind I will trust Him as my Savior and follow Him as my Lord.”

  • Rashid says:

    Hi
    Dave Kennedy
    You are man of respect. You will have life partner soon. I pray in Jesus name to full fill you desire Amen

  • Dave says:

    Other Dave, you will have to answer that for me, I fallen away over many years, due to being let down at every turn, and truthfully cannot answer. I’m not sure I believe there is a plan anymore.

  • Dave Kennedy Dave Kennedy says:

    Dave, that all may be interesting, but what about my question?

  • Rashid says:

    Jenn
    I know you are right but keep on mind woman and children want stability. I pray that Holy spirit fill your desire in Jesus name Amen

  • Dave says:

    Other Dave, I have treated women with respect and honor, but i think as Christian men we somehow find ourselves “being to nice” not the best term, we allow ourselves to be less manly, less masculine. Women whether they want to admit or not are looking for someone who is going to make them feel protected, secure and safe and provided for regardless of how strong and independent she may be. It is born in them. Just as being masculine is born into males however being masculine is looked down on these days, we are taught to be good boys and men particular within the Church…however i think it has been taken a step to far…there is nothing wrong with being good but we have now crossed over into the thresh hold of wimpy. No woman wants a wimpy man its not her nature, she want to feel secure that’s why given a choice between a short man or tall the tall guy will win out. I’m not saying that this will lead to lasting relationship, but if you are not getting any bites its time to change the bait.

  • Rashid says:

    Jenn
    Your right it is desire I hope God will be happy if you brought up your children to God way and you do God work within your family because I know kids are best to watch them see.

  • Dave Kennedy Dave says:

    Hey Dave…..another Dave here. I read your comment this morning. It part you say “There are many studies out there on the what females want and it is not what we have been taught in our Sunday school lessons or what we have been told by the Christian females we have pursued.”

    My experience is that these two may not always be reliable sources on which to base my life. So, I have gone to Scripture to see what the Creator of the universe believes is reliable. As you read scripture Dave, what does He say about His plan?

  • Dave says:

    @ Kyle, Hey its Dave, I’ve taken a little time off from dating and been doing a little research on what women attracts a woman to a man. Just a basic look at what attracts the female of the species Christian or not. There are many studies out there on the what females want and it is not what we have been taught in our Sunday school lessons or what we have been told by the Christian females we have pursued. Also we need to look at ourselves, these studies tell me that I have been using the wrong approach …..There are far to many details to go into but guys get to doing some research on the intranet..there is plenty advice on how to attract a woman. Askmen.com, Men’s Health and other sites. Just type in “What women want” and start reading. You will see plain as day why some guys get women and why we don’t. There are certain wants that women are born with that they want from a man, that’s why they say one thing but, do the complete opposite. If you are a short guy like me you are going have to work extra hard to attract a woman, one study said if you are under 6ft it takes $176,000.00 to compensate for that with a woman. That’s just one example, so put all the Sunday school stuff to the side, do some research and man up. Good luck. One other thing in a study I read, said most women claim to not like facial hair, but when asked to to rate photos of men on attractiveness the clean shaven men ranked dead last…food for thought.

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