Does God Promise You a Spouse?

Written by Rob Eagar

“Is this it? Just me, forever? What have I done wrong?”
Read Tia’s story.

Jennifer was a disgruntled, single woman at my church. She was thirty-six years old and complained that her life was slipping away. Six years had passed since her last boyfriend, and her dating life remained in limbo. Jennifer wondered whether her heart still had the capacity to love. Beneath her jaded disposition festered an undercurrent of resentment toward God.

After attending church regularly for over two years, she suddenly disappeared. Three months later, I bumped into her at a restaurant and asked her whether she had moved to another church. She replied, “No, I’ve quit church altogether. I just can’t bring myself to worship a God who would leave me in such loneliness.” Jennifer concluded that if she was ever going to let God back into her life, He’d better bring her a husband—and fast.

Does God promise us a spouse? The Bible says “yes” by describing Christians as the spiritual bride of Christ. Our true spouse is Jesus. Yet, many of us say, “I’m glad to be spiritually married to Christ, but I can’t feel Him. Wouldn’t it be better if I could enjoy God’s love with someone else? I want Jesus with skin on.” So, we pray for God to bring us an earthly mate.

Related: STOP WAITING FOR YOUR REAL LIFE TO BEGIN.

The gripe for love

My search for a spouse turned into a cycle of frustration as I encountered numerous relational struggles and a wife who abandoned me six months into our marriage. I started to wonder if God actually cared about my romantic relationships. Whenever I felt particularly upset about being single, I would sit in my den recliner and gripe to God about the injustice of my social life. Knowing He possessed omnipotent power made it seem logical to expect a wife from Him.

Whenever I demanded that God rush me a spouse, however, He seemed to whisper this question in my heart, “Rob, is the love of Jesus Christ enough for you? Have you allowed My complete forgiveness and unconditional acceptance to satisfy your heart?”

In tears of resignation, I conceded, “I appreciate Your love, Lord, but all I really want is a wife.” I still believed that my heart needed the affection of a person in order to feel complete. In essence, I valued human love more than God’s love.

One day, I began to look back over my life and the numerous dead-end relationships from my past. In each situation, romance had started out with a bang but fizzled under the weight of performance-based love. No matter who I met, either I was too demanding or she couldn’t accept me for who I was.

Suddenly, something clicked within my mind. I thought, “Why am I chasing marriage when it cannot provide the unconditional love that my heart craves? Only Christ offers everything I need.” With this new perspective, I relinquished to God my demand to get married. I still wanted to find a spouse someday, but I no longer considered marriage necessary to complete my life. If I remained single for the rest of my life, that was okay—God promised to fulfill my heart.

When we demand that God bring us a mate, we block His love from enhancing our social life. The anger that we harbor builds a wall between us and Him. If we are honest with ourselves, we realize that our demand for marriage is a refusal of God’s love because we want our selfish desires met. God will never stop loving us, but we ignore Him when we desperately seek a human being to make us happy. Furthermore, whatever we depend upon for our happiness will wind up controlling us. If we believe that we need a human spouse to be satisfied, then people, rather than God, will dictate our lives.

God is in control of everything, but He does not intervene just to make our lives easy. He had no intention of making a woman magically appear and fall in love with me. Instead, God wanted to use His power to mature me into someone who would initiate sacrificial love towards other people. I wanted to get love, while God was teaching me to give love.

The freedom to love

Likewise, God is working in your life to help you meet and love other people. However, you make the final choice as to whom you accept and whom you reject. When you interact with another person, you have the freedom to decide which direction your relationship will take. You can choose to become romantic, just be friends, or end your time together and separate. In addition, the other person has a decision in the matter, which means he can influence the outcome. Consequently, a relationship will not develop unless both of you decide to love each other. On the other hand, if you or the other person make selfish decisions, your relationship may crumble.

The desire for marriage is a fair request, but the consequences of living in a fallen world can prevent people from reaching that goal. For instance, you can pursue someone romantically, but that individual may choose to ignore you, a crisis or illness could hinder you, or that person may decide to leave you. The sins of humanity create numerous barriers to good relationships.

Yet, why is life so hard sometimes? Why doesn’t God use His power to protect us from pain? Actually, God is at work, but in a different way than some of us realize.

God uses His sovereign power to encourage people to love each other, but He also allows us to make selfish choices that can tear us apart. God permits calamity so that we can experience His greatest gift – a free will. Without free will, you and I would be robots or lifeless, stuffed animals. Fortunately, God limits His power to let us make our own choices in life. Does your free will nullify God’s omnipotence? No, as Psalm 37:23 says, “The steps of a man are established by the Lord.” God is so powerful that He can allow you to choose and still work the outcome for His glory.

Why is free will so important? God wants you to enjoy true love, and true love cannot exist without a choice. If you were forced to love God or another person, then love would disappear, and you would be under manipulation. Free will is the key ingredient to true love.

I recognized the importance of this truth when I couldn’t get a date for my junior high school prom. I had asked several girls, but they all turned me down. Four days before the big dance, however, a friend told me about a girl, named Tiffany, who needed a date. Frankly, I wasn’t attracted to her, but I asked her anyway, because she was my only option.

During the prom, Tiffany and I attempted to be cordial, but it became obvious that neither of us had an interest in each other. We didn’t talk during dinner, we didn’t want to dance as the band played, and we didn’t smile as our pictures were taken. Most of the evening, we sat in silence and stared dreamily at the students whom we really liked. Through that ordeal, I learned that love cannot exist unless both parties freely choose to be together.

Therefore, finding an earthly spouse will not occur through demanding God to miraculously bring someone to your doorstep. Marriage is not a predetermined process that happens mysteriously. You will get frustrated if you believe that God mystically pairs people together. If God predetermines marriage, then why doesn’t He stop divorce? Instead, God lets us make the decision to love or the decision to leave.

The choice to love

God brings people across your path and encourages you to love them, but He lets you manage your relational responses. Thus, marriage revolves around deliberately making choices to love another person. You can improve your opportunities for romance by getting out and choosing to sacrificially love people. Or, you can opt for selfish or reclusive behavior and diminish your relational prospects. The quality of your social life hinges on the choices you make.

Does God promise you a spouse? Yes, as the bride of Jesus Christ. Does God promise you an earthly spouse? No, because finding a husband is a process, in which two people decide to sacrifice themselves for each other’s benefit. So, don’t let the goal of earthly marriage control your life. Otherwise, you will become miserable, because you cannot control the future or free will of other people.

God wants your spiritual marriage to be your heart’s primary source of love and acceptance. Earthly relationships are the avenues to express His love to others. The more you love other people, the more you increase opportunities for an intimate relationship to develop. God may not orchestrate a passionate romance on earth, but He promises a life of passion to enjoy with Him.

Questions:

Use the following questions to consider if your desire for marriage has become a demand:

  • Am I dating to find someone who can make me feel better about myself?
  • Can I feel content and thankful to God in my singleness?
  • Am I cynical about relationships with the opposite sex?
  • Am I afraid of the possibility of never getting married?
  • Is the love of Jesus Christ enough for me?

If your desire for marriage has turned into a demand, find encouragement by meditating on these verses: Philippians 4:6-13; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.

devo-interact-icon-42x42So, how’s your love life? Do you need to talk? You can contact us privately by filling out this form. One of our mentors will get in touch shortly.

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2,730 Responses to “Does God Promise You a Spouse?”

  • finkyfix says:

    This for Kat, beloved you have a plan in place. I love your idea of writing your story the way you would have liked it. When you write it, live it and feel your happiness be drunk in it for days and weeks.

    I have learned that God loves me. I’m single but I know being in a relationship that’s gonna make me unhappy or break God’s commandments is not my place. I encourage you to know God deeper, allow yourself to hear Him talk and direct your steps. If you were in my town I would invite you to my spiritual home. I’ve been through some trials recently but the church leadership has given me strength to stand before God, as broken as I was. I cannot begin to tell what a wonderful journey this has been. God loves and wants to bless you. He made you for a specific purpose. You are not alone, you never will be as long as you believe that Love took your place on that cross so you could live eternally. The key is to surrender your life into God’s hand and let Him direct your life, not your plan but His.

  • Kat says:

    Sorry, Maricris. I am sorry that your life has been so painful. And if you have been able to find things to enjoy anyway, you are a stronger person than I am.

    Maybe I’m just spoiled and bad and wrong. So be it. I am what I am. After all these years, I can no longer try to force myself to pretend it’s okay to be on my own.

    It’s not okay. In fact, it sucks. I AM grateful for the other good things in my life. But that’s not enough. I see people who have a lot less to offer than I do, who are happily coupled up.

    If God really knows everything I’m thinking and feeling, he knows how terrible I feel. If he really loved me, he would help me. Either help me get what I really want, or do something to my brain so I don’t want it anymore.

    Like I said – I’m going to write a book where my life turns out the way I wanted it to. And while I’m writing, I will continue to try with all the single men in my geographical area. Just work through then systematically.

    If that doesn’t work, I will start on the married men. I want love, and if none of the single men will take me, then I will look at the married ones. I don’t give a rat’s rump about their wives. I owe exactly nothing to that sorority of stuck-up, smug Pinterest princesses. They shouldn’t have taken all the attractive men out of the dating pool.

    If that doesn’t work, I will pay a gigolo to pretend he wants me. At least gigolos do what they’re paid to do. They can’t reject me if I’ve paid the money.

    Once my book is finished, if I am still alone, I will end my life. I’m tired of hurting all the time. The minor good things in life are not enough to make up to me for the big good thing that’s missing. Being dead looks better. No more pain, grief, etc.

  • Maricris says:

    Kat, u shouldn’t talk like that. God gave u life and u should appreciate what he has given u even the smallest thing. Ur happiness lies within urself. U only have one life to live and u should make the best out of it because some aren’t given the chance u have. People don’t realized what they have until it’s gone. Make a different in ur life and take it one day at a time. You’ll find ur smile again. Trust and have faith in God. I realized that when I got into a car accident I couldn’t leave this world when I have a small daughter that need me.

  • Kat says:

    Well, I have figured out what I’m going to do.

    I’m going to write a book about how my life should have turned out. At least in fiction, I’ll get what I really wanted.

    When I’m finished, I’m going to commit suicide.

    I’ve already started writing. I’m signed up to take a class in fiction writing this summer, so I hope to make it a really good book.

    At the rate I’m going now, I could be finished with the book by the middle of January.

    Then, I will release myself. And rest in peace at last.

  • Jack says:

    I’m sorry to break the news to you, Kevin. Remember what Jesus PROMISED: “But seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and ALL THESE THINGS (including marriage) will be added unto you.” Isn’t that Jesus’ ironclad promise to you? Now read some of the heartbreaking letter of crushing loneliness, rejection by women, bitterness, anger and yes, even hatred because they cannot find someone to love. I can promise you the lack of a love from a soulmate is the most spirit-destroying force in the universe. Hundreds of people here alone have written that they have followed Jesus’ command for decades. They have truly “Sought the kingdom of God first” year after year, decade after decade and now they’re withered with old age, broken, bitter and alone. Where was the promise of Jesus that he would provide the spouse/mate they craved? Please don’t challenge me with rhetorical question, “So Jesus’ promises are a fraud”? Just look at the evidence on this website–all the tragic stories that broken, near suicidal people have written, some saying they’d rather be dead than continue living alone and unloved. One fellow wrote several times saying he wished he’d just get cancer and die and be done with this lonely miserable existence. Does this sound like Jesus is keeping his promise? Think about all this Kevin. Reason it out. If you insist Jesus keeps his promises in the face of all this emotional wreckage then I leave you to your faith. You’re a stronger person spiritually than I could ever be in the face of all this heartbreak.

  • Kevin says:

    So Jack…the Bible is nothing more than an advice column? All those statements about God helping us, providing for us (yes, even a mate) is just a fairytale? All that stuff about “Faith” and “Grain of salt”…”Moving mountains” was just words and not really ment to mean anything? Guess he didn’t care about us as much as the bird he so feeds as mentioned in the Bible? Thanks for straigtening me out Jack…now I can put my Bible away and only pull it out if I need advice on something sense God doesn’t really care…just kind of watches us…no need to really read it as it deosn’t really apply to anything…

  • Jack says:

    no, you not off base at all, Jamie. The best thing for shattered guys/girls to realize is that God doesn’t intervene in our love lives despite praying all day. It’s not His job. It’s ours. In Job God gave satan full control. Only at the end did God come and explain to Job. But God is not going to appear to anyone to explain why they are being tormented. It’s the luck of the draw. Same as when one 6 YO gets cancer and dies and another one gets it and is cured and another one doesn’t get it at all and lives to be 100. Pure chance. God set the universe in motion and then stepped back. We meet Him when we die, not before. So people who blame God for their hapless love life are wasting their time. God is not to blame. He has nothing to do with it. If people could only start realizing this it would go a long way to understanding why their prayers are not being answered and they could find some peace. It wouldn’t solve their problem but at least they’d understand that the solution lies with them, not with God.

  • Kat says:

    Jamie,

    If God was really good…if God really loved Job….then when Satan taunted God and challenged him to hurt Job to see if Job would still obey – God would have told Satan to go pound sand.

    If God had really loved Job, he wouldn’t have cared more about impressing Satan than he did about brutally hurting Job.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Jack and Clint, thanks for your honesty. I know how empty some answers can seem and it does no one any good to pretend like the words make a difference when in reality they just are like salt on the wounds. One of the things that I have learned from the life of Job, honesty is what God wants from us. When we are honest with Him and ourselves, that is where He meets with us.

    So if I understand your posts clearly, you are acknowledging the existence of God but because of the tragic loneliness that you endure, you question His care and goodness. So what is the basis for judging the attributes of God? How can we determine whether He is a loving God who cares for us and does what is best for us? That seems to me to be a very challenging question because if our standard is based on what we can see/feel/experience we are going to have skewed perspective because of the limitations we have as finite beings. Another thing I learned from Job is that things are going on that affect us that we have no idea are happening at all. As far as we know, Job was oblivious to the conversation between Satan and God. He was also unaware of what his future held for him. All he had was the knowledge of the tragic losses of loved ones, health and property. So his complaint to God was, “This is not fair!” How could he judge the fairness of God when he had such a limited viewpoint?

    So how do you determine whether or not God’s action towards you is fair or not, keeping in mind that you have the same limitations that Job had?

    It would seem to me that all we can really base our assessment on is what God says about Himself, because He does not have the limitations of perspective that we have. Now if God is not fair, not just, not loving, and not good, we wouldn’t be able to trust Him. Let me say, if that is the case, we are in a really bad position. I think we get a picture of what life with that kind of a god would be like when we look at some of the pantheistic religions in our world. There is a lot of fear that fills life, and a constant attempt to outwit the gods and manipulate them to do what we want. Not a very satisfying life, in my opinion.

    But what if God is infinitely good, infinitely loving, and infinitely fair? We would need to trust Him when we find ourselves in painful circumstances. We would need to believe that even in the dark days that He is working things out for our good. That’s the testimony of scripture; David wrote, “Even though I walk through the valley of shadows and death, I will fear no evil for You are with me.” (Psalm 23) That is Job’s anchor point, “Even if He slays me, yet will I trust Him” (Job 13:15) That was Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego’s life line, “Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, …” (Daniel 3:17-18) Even Jesus, in His struggle before His arrest, prayed, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.” (Luke 22:42) And there are many others who would joint their voice to those and declare God’s goodness in times of great trial and suffering. They took God at His Word and believed that there was something going on beyond what they were able to see and trusted that in His perfect time He would bring it to completion. Paul summed it up when he wrote, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” (Romans 8:18)

    So I can’t give you any reason why you should have to endure such unimaginable loneliness and pain in your life. But I will encourage you not to give up on God. For I am confident that “He who began a good work in you, will be faithful to complete it until the Day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6) If this is how much you need to suffer, imagine how much greater the glory will be that Jesus reveals through you!

    Dear Jesus, I pray for these two brothers and ask that You would relieve their great loneliness. Bless them with the joy of a woman that they can share their lives with and grow old with. I pray that the suffering that they are enduring will not sever them from You but it will only prove to strengthen their resolve to follow You in all circumstances. Thank You that our suffering is not unfamiliar to You. You also felt loneliness, rejection, and abuse, so that You are able to comfort us in all of our grief and pain. I thank You that Your infinite wisdom and power can take any situation and use it for an eternal good. I pray that Clint and Jack would have the joy of seeing now a glimpse of the glory that You are accomplishing through them. Rescue them from those who would try to trivialize their pain and sorrow, who would feel compelled to misrepresent Your motivations for allowing these brothers to endure this great pain. May You be glorified in their lives and in their testimony to others. I pray all this in Your great name, amen.

    Guys, if I am off-base please rebuke me. If I am being insensitive to your pain and loneliness please let me know. Know that I am praying for you.

  • Dave 2.0 says:

    “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” Albus Dumbledore. Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone

    Always liked this quote.

  • Jack says:

    To Clint: Well said, Clint. You’ve stated the dilemma in terms so stark and realistic I could never find the words for. It truly is the way you say it is. How the Pollyannas can continue blithely reassuring the hundreds of people in here who have been through it all like yourself that God truly cares for our love life and will provide for them is beyond me. Theirs is just wishful thinking while yours is the reality of the situation. I wish you the best.

  • dream says:

    Wallu…Is the reason for living being married? No. Living for Jesus every day, that’s the reason. I know that it can be hard to be alone with kids but there is a reward for those who live a holy life for Jesus -in this life and after death too. And I can tell you that you should be VERY thankful to God that you believe since you were 13 years old and you didn’t destroyed your soul by sin like me who became Christian in my twenties. I know Jesus healed me but the scars are in my soul.I am telling you that no man and marriage is worthy of accusing God of not being married. God is SO good!

  • Chris says:

    walu…sorry to hear you are struggling. isaiah 43.4 promises us the people we need for our lives. as you seek jesus each day for that promise to be fulfilled and be ready to obey any instructions he may give you, for example about visiting a different church, etc., then i believe he will cause your path to cross the path of your husband by his goodness towards you. that is my prayer for you today in jesus name amen!

  • Walu says:

    Well Rob, it is because you are a man. you can’t imagine what a lonely single woman goes through! I am single mother of 4 kids (after a miserable marriage of only 3 years). I have been alone for close to 11 years now. And frankly speaking I have lost all desire or nerve to ask God for a husband anymore, I have run out of words to say. What will I say to God which I have not said in all these years and still he has not answered? I have observed in dismay, people who don’t even pray or have a closer walk with God easily finding love and getting married and living happily. Is loneliness the price I have to pay for being His follower. I have been a Christian since I was 13years old and honestly speaking, sometimes I really think its not even worth it. I feel God has forsaken me or maybe marriage is not just in my destiny.

    The benefits of accepting Christ should not just be enjoyed after death, but in this life as well! Sometimes i wish i was just a plant, then i wouldn’t have to go through all this.

  • Clint says:

    Sorry, but if God cared at all, then why leave this need to rot and fester until it blackens every moment and every breath? I’ve never had anyone in my life I wanted there – any time I did feel something for a woman, cared about her as a person, she was never interested in me. After this last time, after feeling such a connection, after thinking that finally God was extending to me some measure of that ‘boundless love’ Christians are so swift to prattle on about – no, I have nothing left. If there’s no solace or respite, no end to the loneliness and worthlessness in this life, then How can I believe there’s any in the next? I’ve experienced God’s power, it isn’t a question of belief in Him. It is all down to faith in His benevolence. If He cared for me, why was I molested as child by the first ‘friend’ I ever made, defiled before I even knew what that meant. Where was his beneficence for that little nine year old kid? And if e had no pity for a kid, why should He have any for me as I am now, cynical and bitter and angry at His indifference?

    I’m incapable of this shallow sort of affection that is the norm in this despicable world. I’ve tried to just ‘settle’ and let the love come later – only relationships I’ve had have been such empty affairs. Any time I feel anything real for someone, all i find is rejection and pain. It’s always astounding how you can be in such misery and think it can’t get worse, and then it does because you let hope come slithering back into your heart so that it can yet again mock and betray you. Loneliness is a poison that blackens everything in time, blighting every speck of peace or joy. Faith withers in unrelieved pain, until all the matters is the end of that pain.

    You can only live on empty assurances and promises for so many decades before you understand they are either outright lies or don’t mean what so many claim they mean. God works for some greater good of His own design, it is the height of arrogance to think our individual lives, our individual happiness somehow trumps His plans. Christians like to present God as some sort of genie that grants wishes and immediately blame all suffering on ‘simply not having enough faith’. A simple glance at history shows that isn’t true, the famines and wars and disasters that have afflicted so many – were they all blackhearted sinners? Or is it that God’s purpose isn’t about the individual but for something greater? That’s the only solace there is for us as Christians: to believe our pain serves a purpose, even if we never see what good comes of it, even if that good is nothing that will ever benefit ourselves.

    God answers every prayer. To me He said ‘no’. I don’t have the strength to accept that, to find any sort of fulfillment in an existence of loneliness. What’s broken inside, the black emptiness within is something only love in this life could heal, having someone to share my time with and end the misery. Yet again and again we’re decried as weak and craven because ‘God isn’t enough’ for us. The decision to die is made much easier when your ears are filled with the screed of those smug in their own self-righteousness. It is the quality of life that makes it worthwhile, and without a wife, there’s nothing that will make me feel this existence is endurable. You can’t help others, you can’t act as an example or a witness when everything inside is in pain. A broken vessel can’t carry the Word.

  • Chris says:

    mary…God has promised to provide the people we need for our lives. isaiah 43.4. as you wait before the lord about a mate and father for your sons, unless God would show you otherwise, there is no reason to not expect that person to come into your lives. however the person that jesus joins with his daughters is one of his own sons, a born again, church-committed Christian. set your standards up to that level so that no man deceive you. i pray jesus guide and direct your steps in his perfect will today!

  • Mary says:

    Does God want single women with children to married? Not seeking to find a man but all to often men are always trying to hook up with me. Recently I met someone on the plane who claims they were interested in me and had fallen in love with me at first sight. Things did not work out. Asking the good Lord to show me his will. I would like to be married but to someone who would love me back and be a father to my boys.

  • Kathryn Kathryn says:

    What an excellent article written by Rob but as many of the comments point out, when applied to our own lives, things do not always work out the way we hope and long for. Maybe that sums up the problem, it’s what WE want often and not us looking for what God wants us to be busy with. It’s a really tough one but in most big scenarios in life, if we are ready and willing to look for God’s guidance, we can have a measure of happiness and peace of heart knowing that we are living according to His will which, in the end brings great reward and happiness. If you do not believe this, please just remember many of the martyrs over the years who have died for their faith in God with praise and joy on their lips. This is a modern day phenomena too. I was very deeply moved by 21 young Egyptian men who had the chance to renounce their faith in Christ but instead, counted ALL things lost for the sake of knowing and serving Christ. Jack’s comments to Richard I found to be rather cynical as true love has a way of cancelling out differences in status, wealth and looks. This is just as well for us who call ourselves the bride of Christ because He, the creator and redeemer of all things stooped to love us even while we were still sinners. What love is this? (Please see this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3bo7TUMsck)

  • Dave 2.0 says:

    Beauty fades over time, the beauty inside last a life time.

  • Jack says:

    Richard Yates, you may be making the biggest mistake men make when seeking a partner: looking for someone above your “looks” class. If a man who is a dead ringer for Danny DeVito is trying to score with a Sienna Miller he is going to find himself disappointed and rejected time after time. Danny DeVito-look-a-likes, you gotta stick with the Rhea Pearlmans. They’re your only hope for any partnerships, unless you’ve got money. Men and women have been biologically pre-programmed to search out their own kind. Beauty attracts beauty; beauty and ugly are rarely ever compatible. Status attracts status. A lawyer-wife will ditch her garbage-truck driving husband who paid for her education every time. Remember this the next time you go to an online dating service to search out profiles. Don’t go for the “10’s” if you’re a “3”. It will only end up in heartbreak.

  • cuteButAlone says:

    To James, Spangler, Shaun, stop waiting for someone to solve your life, you have to do it by yourselves with the help of God. It is right there, where you experience the Real Power of God, when you surrender and realize you cant make it, then you will feel the Presence, support, and supernatural Presence of God in your lives, all you have to do is surrender and believe. He wont fail. Guys, if you let me give you an advice, I realized myself what made me sad and angry were all these lies from romantic movies, where there is a charming prince that comes to cinderella just because she is pretty and solves her life all of a sudden, they marry and that’s the happy ending. No-one-is-going-to-solve-your-problems except yourself: your addictions, your alcoholism, your low self esteem, your espiritual problems. Are you cinderella so good looking and with a fairy that makes magic for you to help you? NO, those are fairy tales, reality is that you have to work for your future, you need to WANT to change your life, God will be more than happy on helping on the process. And don’t hate me as someone who is married and “successful” and is trying to give you a lesson, because I myself am on patient waiting for a husband, but I learned the worst I could do is sinking on depression and self pity, when I found this article I felt in fact depressed and discouraged. It helped me to see I am not alone in all of this, and many people became bitter because they lost faith, so I never will. And it is not late for you either as much as you are alive, present time is a “present” that we have, an opportunity to make it better and change. Also, the comment someone did about a sad life and a hard time in disability made me meditate, about the difficult situation, however, again, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD. Don’t believe only healthy and good looking people are the only ones that get married. I can see real examples of life, faith and hope in real people like Nick Vujicic and Bethany Hamilton, the world could say they are handicapped or something is missing, however they have many more things that “normal” or “healthy” people. You see? no limits for God!! Both got married, he has a child, she’s waiting for a baby. What their spouses saw on them?? the charm of God’s love, that this love made them go forward and face everything , they are charming, confident, full of faith. So, it is your choice: sink on depression and wait fairy tales to happen OR give the first step of faith and work hard with God to be the best version of yourselves and can be you’ll find someone that loves you on the way. I think living this plenty can fill your heart and soul. Blessings and I hope my message encourages you

  • Chris says:

    shaun dickinson…sorry to hear of your situation….really, in order to have blessed human relationships, we need to have a healthy relationship with our creator since he alone is the only one who can bless us with people for our lives. isaiah 43.4. i would encourage you to log onto knowingjesuspersonally.com or click talk to a mentor above in order to start a personal relationship with you creator God the father through his son jesus christ today. only then can you find peace for your soul, true happiness for your life and people sent by God for you. you can also help yourself by attending a true Christian church. if you need help finding one let me know. blessings!

  • shaun dickinson says:

    I am 28 , I have a disability, I had feelings for a woman since my teens, she was the closest thing I had to a friend for a long time . I seperated from her she did nothing to stay in touch, she knew when I was leaving didn’t even say goodbye. Flash forwed I have had many resonable relationships with people with in the world but never a girlfriend. I found the first woman online a few years ago but she was seeing someone else and ignored me. I respected her feelings left her alone. Last year , I started trying to interact with other people – who also ignored me . Then the first womans husbands contacted my family and complained that I had been stalking her for the last two years! And threatend me with law enforcement. This is despite the fact that , if someone had ordained to talk to me I would have always been happy just being a friend. I was quite happy to leave her alone and had not spoken to her in years inbetween . That was resolved by me being willing to give up my laptop for evidence, they left convinced I was guilty but I would never admit it. I have prayed for years for guidence, these days I am on antidepressents , I fear the future and am scared of people on the phone, who pass me in the street. I just want someone to care for me not as a blood realitive. Is that too much to ask for god?

  • james says:

    ask god to find me a help mate turn my fince aroud stop smoking new hosue

  • spangler says:

    I had pretty much given up on marriage and having children but then out of the blue, I had a deep and devoted love for a co-worker. Every time I spoke with her, I would feel so elated and happy. Unfortunately, I lost that job and she no longer interacts with me. I know that I did not create that love, devotion, or happiness, but I can’t understand why she did not feel the same way if there is a loving God? I was ready to coast out of life being a nice guy and alone and unfulfilled. Now I feel dead inside. Loving her was a great feeling and I think a gift from God, but losing her friendship has been more painful than I care to admit. I’m beginning to think that maybe the next life might be better. How can I attest to a loving God if he leaves me in despair when there are two of us who could live better and glorify his existence. I know that Jesus is still alive so why doesn’t that help make things work out right for a change. I’m almost 60 years old. I’m too old to be looking for new jobs and a wife, especially if I’ve already been burned three times even tho I believe in a God and Jesus?

  • Dave 2.0 says:

    @tsebo There are a lot of men out there who desire marriage and long-term relationship. We just don’t always come in the package a lot of women are looking for as there are many eligible women out there that do not come in the package we men (myself include) are looking for I am 5ft5 a lot of women will not give me a second look because of my height, just an example. We have to get past the cover and get to the contents. I understand why you think all men are bad, you have for whatever reason chosen the wrong men, just as I have often chosen the wrong woman. From my own experience I could say all women are manipulative, gold digging users, but I know there are good women out there and that if I do give up I will never meet one. I know this to be true..all I have to do is look at my parents, married 50+ years, more in love today than when they first married…Dad worships the ground Mom walks on and she treats him like a king. 70+ year old newly weds I’ve always heard that the best way to judge a man is by he the way he treats his mother…maybe something to look at before getting to involved in a new relationship.

  • tsebo says:

    Richard Yates: I am shocked i did not know men have the desire to get married, i thought their only desire is to find a woman to sleep with and mistreat, so i am shocked i did not know men have that desire so i would say you are the only different man i have never heard a man talk in this manner, all of them are useless, they are quick to talk with no action, they lack integrity they cannot be trusted they are pathetic beings, i can never understand them. I have never seen such beings in my entire life, people who only care about their needs, disgusting indeed, so it is the first time in my entire life to see a man talk like you do, i did not know men had the desire to find a spouse you are the first and possibly the last, the rest of them are…….

    I mean they forgot they come from a woman yet they mistreat and disrespect women, i am way too disgusted and have lost respect for men and trust as well. i can never ever trust any man in my life, never, i will always perceive them as a “thing” that can never be trusted, they are danger zone, you see them you ran far away as far as possible mxm..

  • Chris says:

    Richard yates…sorry to hear you are struggling…i would pray very earnestly over isaiah 43.4 for your life and Gods faithfulness to fulfill it for you. seek the lord early, often, with fasting and he will give you clear instructions on how to see that promise come to pass in your life…psalm 25, 32 and james 1. blessings to you!!

  • Iam 45 years old iam very very very lonely I just want the love of a woman and I have prayed and prayed for 24 years and nothing u have teyed Dateing it’s and nothing I have talks to a lot of girls and nothing iam afread iam going to wake up when iam 60-70 years old and have no girlfriend or a wife I just don’t know what else to do I have tryed just about everything and everything and still nothing I go to church and I go to worship the Lord and I fellowship with girls and I go to single clubs at church and still nothing no wife or even a girlfriend and iam about to give up on the idea of ever getting married or me ever having a girlfriend please somehow help me I just don’t know what else to do

  • R says:

    To Jack and Tsebo. I don’t want to agree with you but I agree with you. It just adds so much confusion to this world? This time we all have here to accept or reject Jesus. I can see so many things that God has done either directly or indirectly to be counterproductive to His will. It just does not make any sense? I’m still trying to become numb to this unattractive tent I’m in and make peace with it. I think I might have borderline personality disorder? Things just keep getting worse. But I can clearly see where being numb is the answer that I have been looking for. Be numb and praise God. My motto for 2015 and the rest of my life. Hey Jack are you worried that by saying that God did a “botched job” that He will be upset with you? That He might not save you? Just curious because that’s how I feel.
    Tsebo. If you think men are so useless than try this out. Don’t touch or use anything that was made by a man. Then take into consideration that Jesus was a man. And are you sure you want to use the word coward? We are all just a bunch of sinful sheep, some are blessed and some are not. My advice, feel nothing, deny anything human, and worship and serve God. I’m not sure why things are the way that they are but sum up the Bible as short as you can. God loves you the way He wants to love you, Jesus died for us all, His ways are perfect in a way that we cannot understand, He loves you now but if you don’t do what He wants you to then He will send you to hell!
    Dear God please help me to go numb to any human feelings. Please have mercy on us all. Praise you God for you are worthy to be praised.

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