1,558 Responses to “Does God Promise You a Spouse?”

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• Vince says:

  May 26, 2012 at 3:13 pm

  What are you talking about? You CAN NOT be married to Jesus. You CAN NOT be married to a spirit.
• Florence says:

  May 22, 2012 at 1:48 pm

  I’m left wondering whether the idea that God does not promise me a spouse is true because on several occasions God took it upon Himself to choose partners for his people in the Bible right from Adam – he created Eve, for Isaac, he chose Rebecca, Mary for Josesph. Even in odd situations like King David and Bathsheba; plus that servant of his whom he asked to marry a prostitute! How then can you tell me that God does not promise spouses for us?!
• Claire Colvin says:

  May 22, 2012 at 9:24 am

  I have removed the last few comments from this page as things were getting way, way off topic. This article is not a place to debate whether or not “most” women are power hungry etc etc etc. Any further comments on that topic will be deleted.

  The point of the conversation here is talk about singleness and marriage and God’s role in both. I welcome that discussion.
• Bernadette says:

  May 21, 2012 at 9:15 pm

  “run”, not “fun”. Tyrone sounds like he has a lot of hatred in his heart, and I pray he has peace.
• Bernadette says:

  May 21, 2012 at 9:11 pm

  … “run”, not “fun”, using swype on my phone. I’d run as fast as I could from a man who has that much violence in the tone of the tone in what he says, and the hatred comes thru so clearly too. He just sounds scary, and dangerous, and I pray that I for one, nor any other good woman meets a man with that much hatred in his soul…….please, be renewed in Jesus, and I pray that you may find tenderness and peace.
• Bernadette says:

  May 21, 2012 at 8:56 pm

  I just have to say that if I ever met Tyrone, or a man like him, I would fun very fast away! He sounds scary, and not at all like the sweet Christian men that I take care of as cardiac patients, who I look to for inspiration and wisdom and who have been married to equally sweet Christian woman for fifty years and more! This man, Tyrone, sounds dangerous….
• Joel Pukalo says:

  May 20, 2012 at 10:08 pm

  As the last person who write in so accurately stated, I think it is really important to value and esteem both men and woman as created in the image and likeness of God. I think it is really important to continually pray and ask God to show us “how can we esteem men and woman as distinct, yet equally important beings created in God’s image.

  In the world the roles of men and woman have been so distorted and polarized, we have confused the God-given diversity and uniqueness the Father has created both men and woman with. God wants us to recognize and value the diversity and uniqueness of both genders. We are created in God’s image and if we slander or see the opposite sex as inferior, we are insulting God’s design.

  I know pray that God would awaken our hearts to see the beauty and diversity of both genders who have been created in the very image of our heavenly Father!
• JustAGuy says:

  May 20, 2012 at 9:37 pm

  Hi FiFi,
  Don’t be too hard on Tyronne. I was beaten and publically humiliated as a boy by female teachers. Had this happened to a girl at the time, there would have been public outcry. Since I was a “bad seed” boy (I had ADD) it was overlooked by the principal (also a woman)and the teachers (all women). Now before you claim that it had nothing to do with my gender, there was a troubled girl who the coach called a name and he was fired within a week. Furthermore, since I have become an adult I have had female bosses who formed men-hating groups who routinely berated me and called me “pig” with her “girlfriend” or “mujer” cliques. Personally I don’t think what men did in the past justifies mistreatment of men who try to be gentlemen. Like you said, God is for justice for all women and men.
• FIFI says:

  May 19, 2012 at 1:43 pm

  Claire Colvin, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CLARIFYING WHAT I WAS TRYING TO CONVEY WHEN I ADDRESSED TYRONE ON HIS PERSPECTIVES OF WOMEN. YOU DID IT SO WONDERFULLY IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPH.

  GOD BLESS YOU
• FIFI says:

  May 19, 2012 at 1:24 pm

  WHO EVER REMOVED MY FIRST SENTENCE, THANK YOU. I THINK I CAN REMEMBER WHAT I SAID BUT I SAID IT KNOWING THAT IT MAY NOT BE APPROPRIATE.

  GOD BLESS, NO HARD FEELINGS X X
• FIFI says:

  May 19, 2012 at 1:11 pm

  Dear Tyrone, you stated that Adam was made from the earth and eve was not. I have revelation too my brother. Eve was always in Adam so she was created not by the Seeing Eye like Adam was but the rib that God created, he used to create Eve so technically, therefore, she came from earth too. This may not be in the same way, but from earth just the same. She was always in Adam but was of no use to her in him, which is why God brought her out, created her out – however you wanna put it. I tried to put this in the most understanding way but I will trust that you get me.

  Yes, Eve was tricked because she did not think that she was like God, but she already was. God created us and placed ambition in us, to conquer and to rule has God Almighty stated and she was tricked in to believing that God was holding out on her and that she was not like him. But God already stated, he created them in his image and his likeness. Check the word, satan challenged her that she would be like God, she already was. Its not evil to have ambition, but the way man goes about getting stuff, some murder for stuff, that is evil. She had desires, that was not evil but she sinned in that she did not believe she was already like God, not God, but like him.

  My dear, when you talk about women, you seem to put us all in one category lol. First off, I had no choice when I was in college but to study feminism as a module, I was angry as a Christian woman, I did not want to know. It was a core module so I had no choice or I would have failed the course. So I grunted studied it and OM goodness, I am so glad I did. I understand men are frustrated. There is nothing wrong with women my brother or men having ambition, as long as it is in the right thing, to prosper and be in good health, even as our soul prospers is the will of God. But it is not just for ourselves and families, it is also for building the Kingdom of heaven on earth and to do good. Trust me, many people need practical help my brother.

  And as for feminism, this is where history comes in to play. I did my own research to make sure what they were teaching was legit. Women went through hell with men in the past. We were not allowed to own our own properties; domestic violence was seen as a private dispute so police never got too much involved. We were not allowed to vote, to buy our own properties, to divorce, even if our lives were in danger, we were even viewed as properties and if the man decides to kick their wives out, he owns the kids. If the baby was tiny, who would breast feed the baby? There was a lot of evil been done to women? We were viewed less than animals. We were suppressed and oppressed.

  My dear, check the word of God, he never instigates abuse on women from men. We could not work but when we were allowed, we are still getting lower pay, we could not vote at one point, etc etc, who looked out for women, where was the church to protect us. We are the weaker vessels yet some big guy can kick the guts out of us and we should shut up and put up, I don’t think so. Where was the church? Did not God say to stick up for justice? Why the silence? Even Christian wives were treated badly and some still are.

  My theory, God allowed the feminist movement cuz he has to demonstrate justice for all, (including us). You’re a man Tyrone, but if you ever were placed in a woman’s body and was beaten up and treated terribly, physically by a strong man, and was put down cuz of your gender, then we won’t be having this conversation. You would get it. I could go on but I am sure you get it. God loves justice, that’s all i’m saying and no, I am not a feminist. The First Wave Feminist Movement I love, it was more about justice and fairness for women as we were often treated as stupid and as dogs. It was not to take over men. The Second Wave Feminist Movement I hate. If I told you why, this would be a novel lol.

  So give women a break, we have been dogged on and all we really want is acceptance from men.

  God bless you and peace
• Claire Colvin says:

  May 18, 2012 at 10:40 am

  Tyrone,

  I went back and re-read your comment and I have to disagree. You said, “Now, this is an important fact. We wre created in the image of God, as Eve was created in the IMAGE OF ADAM. Eve came from Adam. Flesh for flesh and bone for bone. Man is made in the image of God DIRECTLY and Women is made in the image of God INDIRECTLY.” You are stating that women are NOT created in the image of God and that simply is not in the Bible. To say that a woman is “indirectly made in the image of God” is fallacy and also diminishes her value. This “technical approach” you refer to is just bad theology. If you truly believe that men and women are not equal in the eyes of God, joint heirs in Christ, then it is going to seriously colour your view of women in general.

  I can guarantee you that not all women are superficial, greedy and power hungry. Just a few weeks ago I attended a Life Women conference where 400 women gathered to learn about God and see how we could work together to help those in need. One woman got up and spoke about a school in Gulu, Uganda where young girls dropped out of school at age 12 because they lacked the sanitary supplies to deal with their monthly cycle and had to stay home. A professor had invented a napkin that could be made locally but the girls lacked enough pairs of underwear to be able to keep up with the laundry. There was a team already going to Gulu to do relief work and they asked us if we would each go and buy some underwear for these girls and bring it back with us to the evening session. That night we all came, some of us a little embarrassed to have packages of underwear in our purses. When they were counted up there were 995 pairs. Just this morning I saw photographs from Gulu of schoolgirls getting this very basic thing that they needed so that they can stay in school and get educated. THAT is what a godly woman looks like. She sees the need in the world and she weeps for the pain and injustice and then she finds the part that she can do, and she does it. She goes to the store and she walks into a room with underwear in her purse because she knows that her action can make the world better for someone else.

  It can be indelicate to talk of such things, but love is willing to step into uncomfortable places and women who love God are willing to be a little embarrassed if that’s what it takes to keep a girl in school. That’s the kind of woman you should be looking for. Instead of the ones who are looking to get, search out the woman who spends time with God and who is willing to GIVE. There is nothing glamorous about underwear, but when I think of the girls who will have an opportunity to contribute to their households, when I think of the health knowledge that could very well save the life of their baby one day I can only smile.

  You think of feminism as this group of women who want to kill their babies and that is false. Feminism does not say “I am the most important, I can do whatever I want.” Feminism says, “I am a whole person, a person of worth and value. Do not maim me as an act of war. Do not leave me uneducated because you believe I am not worth it. Do not tell me that I am powerless because I can work for the common good. Do not take my voice away for I have much wisdom to share.”

  I understand that you have been badly hurt and would guess that much of what you are saying comes out of a deep pain. I am sorry that you went through that but if you are really meeting these types of women you describe, then you need to meet some better women. You kept referring to them as “worldly” women. As a Christian man, what are you doing pursuing worldly women? Don’t you want to be married to a godly woman? 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” If you want a godly marriage and a Christian home, start with a Christian woman.
• Tyrone says:

  May 18, 2012 at 12:52 am

  Claire,

  Thanks for your response. Let me clarrify. I do not disagree that both man and woman were created in the image of God. Yes, the Word says that but I was really just technical. Adam came from the Earth, hence “Adam”. Eve, which means “Life”. Eve came from Adam’s rib. So she was not formed of earth. She was formed of adam, one of the very few bones that regenerate. Yes she was created in the image of God. Forgive my technical approach that seemingly seems heretical.

  As far as my opinion of a WORDLY woman is concerned, I am correct. God has been taking me on a path of revelation and you will not be able to refute it, as much as you would like to. Eve’s fall was a prophecy of MAN who is caled to be the Bride of Christ. Eve was tricked, yes. Eve wanted power. This is the exact problem in the world today. MAN,who is called to be the Bride, is more interested in ruling without God than with God. They want to rule the world and kick God off his Throne and rule as man. This is “Man makes himself God” or ’666′. Eve was not interested in being safe within the love of her husband. What was she doing at the tree talking to the serpent? She wasn’t called to the Tree. She could eat from the Tree of Life. What was she doing at the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil when she was told not to eat of it? It also explains clearly that MAN is more interested in the POWER they can have, than the LOVE they can have. It is a massive revelation. Women prioritise the “nest” as someone would call it, over love. I have just seen way too much. I understand that in these end times, Jezebel is more rampant than ever. Men are so frustrated. Worldy women just generally seek what they can GET. The rise of feminism just proves where “women” are, when they decree that it is right to rebel against a man and abort her kids because “it’s her body”. So many of my male friends have been so hurt because her normal reason of break-ups is a selfish one. I am sorry sweety, but maybe you need to take a real good close look at the superficiality of women today. Its all about the glam, the status, and whatever else.
• Graeme Kyle says:

  May 17, 2012 at 1:04 pm

  Dear Amanda

  I am laughing. I am kinda like sad you also you equate prison=gangster. “Oh ye of little faith…” My art name is Faith by the way. Because I just believe my work will touch people profoundly. And I am hoping to make Skateboard designs praising God. So even if I am seen as Hood then let me be hood enough to tell other hood rats God loves them just as much as white picket fence suburbs. PS I am white by the way. No prison tattoos. No skulls. All my teeth. No gun shot wounds. Just one tattoo…I had done 5 months ago…Outside by a high street tattoo shop. No gangster place. And you can read up why from my post. I also do not even care if you call me Ex con or jail bird. I know what God put in me transcends all bad and vile names I can be called. I am sure Jesus said this. Remember before they persecuted you they persecuted me. So not biggy. I also aint ashamed. Few could have survived the jails of South Africa. We all are sinners.

  At no stage did I at all say Yo Yo Christian peeps. Where’s my dwags at? Grabs his nuts etc. Laughs more. So what gives you the idea I want to be hood? You speaking under so much well misinformation and what is ignorance or lack of knowing better and I don’t mean that offensively. So let me try articulate people why stereotypes don’t work. The same way you trying to say not all girls are money grabbers. And ladies. Real women. I have a lot of love for you. You can see by my passion that I have. I wear my heart on my sleeve I have you on my mind…LOVE!

  1. My DC Kent Block sneakers cost about 1000 Rand. Pity I could not get the DC high-tops with the Skull candy head phones. The average pair of shoes a guys buy is revolting canvas sneakers half that price. Perhaps you Tube Kent Block Gymkhana. Most guys don’t buy sneakers that costly unless its sport related.
  DC just make some “sick” shoes. Colourful and mostly what I seen they are bought by white non hood non yo yo people. Am I less stylish if I dress in what can be lifestyle apparel of DC? What happens if my hoodie cost more then a dress shirt and a pair of slacks which most guys buy? Are we measuring price or class here equated to price? Cause done and done! Last time I saw a jersey cost less than a North face Puffer jacket. Which I wish to own. Warm and snug. But to be cool I must get a leather jacket. Its not my style! I love the game Halo. It has a rich story line so I would love to own a piece of that legacy-A T shirt. Try get someone wearing a Halo shirt in SA..likely few to none I dare say. Called exclusive! Guess which grossed the biggest box office killing-The Avergers. So what is wrong rocking an Iron man Hoodie? Ecko is sold in pretty much white shops in SA. High street fashion shops. So are we talking clothes or clothes here? Am I less of a man because I have a purple sponge bob hoodie. I like cartoons. He is stupidly funny. Most guys are in my opinion as clever as bricks. I am paid to be original and think. I even read Shakespeare and maintain he had some very ironic plays that mirror’s life and its many tragedies. Did I mention I want to learn to be a gourmet chef? To me Cooking is equally cool… Manly? Oh yes I can cook quite well not just eggs. Sow and plat. Clean to. My mom brought me up to do a lot. I can put a girl to shame and I have when a friend and his Girlfriend slept over. She never did any sort of cleaning or dishes! Absolutely disgusting to see dirty dishes for two days and she cant get a hint make it dirty clean it. I did! If I ate at your house I clean my own plate. Are we talking about Hood equaling no class here right? Hood=Dirty rolls eyes. Yes that guy that wears funny clothes and likes weird things! Oh I hardly drink and I don’t smoke yuck. Guess I am a poor excuse for hood! You know who survives Special forces training? Can do attitudes and people who are light hearted. Guess who has that! Cause I may seem serious. But I don’t take myself too serious. None of this matters. Just trying to be good at being me does. On a scale of what is important me setting single or a kid dying of hunger? My brain always says that kid matters.

  I like Colour. Guys dress like undertakers. Blacks and greys. I love sticking out. Heck if I could be so confidant I would dress like a clown.
  They funny and make you laugh. World sure needs some more laughter and less sadness. And go Google Tommy the Clown. He is a devoted Christian and KRUMP means Kingdom Radically Uplifted Mighty Praise. Those guys dance from their spirit. So what is hood? People dancing in church or a bunch of poor black youths in LA dying for a change who cook up this dance form to express their frustrations and hopes when both dance praising God. Last time I checked God was for the orphans. The poor and the Sick! Go watch Rize.
  So people in my church dance. Krumpers dance. I seen white krumpers. They hood to? You equate prison with black and dare I say N!gga. I ask what is wrong with being hood? You know I get up for old people to sit. I call people sir and maam. May the stereotypes fall! Because I will always try prove someone wrong if I disagree. I Shower everyday. Sometimes 3 times I day. I use salon quality hair shampoo. I use very good deo. Cant always afford DKNY. I don’t want spinning rims or platinum teeth. I do want an Apple mac and Cintque Wacom tablet. I don’t spend money on drugs I buy pencils and markers and Copics or Spray…And no I don’t tag walls and your cars. I still have to really use them. And I want to do murals.

  I listen to Dub step because the BASS just owns you. I even joked I would get raised eye brows if I learnt Cubase or Reason and produced a Christian Dub step song and played it at my church. But why? If it’s from a good heart and praises God it can’t be bad? Weren’t God’s people passionate dancing in the street in days gone by? If they had Moogs and drum machines or Auto tune. I am sure they would be dropping remixes in Jerusalem.

  Anyway in my mind most guys clothing…It has no style in fact makes you one of the same. I don’t know where hood is mentioned in Ecko. It’s a Jewish white boy who founded Ecko. Again from an illustration point of view Ecko mirrors what I do. Art. Gangsters as you deem and I Googled were Sicilian dudes in Suits-Google images.
  Can anyone say George Bush and he wore nice “clothing”. I am in the Skate industry; I can’t help if people are so stupid to know no further then team sports and cars. I find that so boring I could kill my self, it just shows you like the rest. I never left jail wanting to be the next Tu Pac or Lil Wayne. I grew up in the Skate culture. I always listened to hip hop. You think Hiip Hop is Lil Wayne and Bling Bling. Perhaps do some reading online it’s not that. What you have is something manipulated by white record execs to push out gun rap. Again I saw documentaries. People to me are boring as they just want to fit in. its easier to conform.

  You agreed to my argument women want money. That to me is an exploitable weakness. Cause if that is all it takes you to “like” me I am sure I can string you along and frustrate someone who is thinking they are playing me. But why waste my time yawns… I am not into using people. But remember if we are to say women deem that important than I will say she must always wear matching lingerie. Not get fat and always make an effort. Good for the goose is good for the gander. Honestly if I do make it guess who I will spend my money on MYSELF! My mom and sister worked. They did something with there lives. They didn’t need a man to support them,. Why cant you? With all you demanding of equal rights get the picture if you want to be equal be equal. But its convenient to sit back and make demands. That is selfish and so does my sister agree. You also assume I dress like a slob. Since when is skinny jeans and a hoodie a slob? What happens if I said soon I will have more of my designs on clothing we did for our firm? I am proud of my art. You asking me to become what I deem to be gay. Gay dudes dress ultra slick. Is that masculine? If some one is deemed masculine from his clothes. Then I think you need to see a shrink. I have strong opinions and will always disagree with advice not fitting. I also as my sister says so oftly don”t need anyone’s approval.

  I am not even planning on Studying to get rich. I am doing it to learn Art history. Colour theory and some refining of design methodically. Oh and Web design..stuff I don’t know. If you assume a degree. A piece of paper makes you happy. Again you crazy. That is just impressing people so jealous. Lost or stupid they won’t care anyway. I never thought once to do a master in business administration even though I could make more money from that.

  Anyway I hope I didn’t offend anyone. And this seems so unchristian to do all this…So God forgive me.

  I’m pressing on the upward way,
  New heights I’m gaining every day;
  Still praying as I’m onward bound,
  “Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.”

  Refrain

  Lord, lift me up and let me stand,
  By faith, on Heaven’s table land,
  A higher plane than I have found;
  Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.

  My heart has no desire to stay
  Where doubts arise and fears dismay;
  Though some may dwell where those abound,
  My prayer, my aim, is higher ground.
• Claire Colvin says:

  May 17, 2012 at 1:00 pm

  Tyrone,

  I am sad for you that you have such a low opinion of women, but more importantly you need to re-read the book of Genesis. Eve absolutely WAS NOT created “in the image of Adam”. Genesis 1:26 clearly states, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Male AND female, created in the image of God. That’s an incredibly important point. This idea that women are created “indirectly” in the image of God is patently false.

  I could go into refuting the rest of your comment but I don’t think that you would hear it, so I’ll stick to the most important point. I urge you to re-read Genesis and hear the truth of the Word of God. I hope that in your study you will see for yourself that the things you believe about women are false and that God in His divine goodness will show you how wonderful women can be.
• FIFI says:

  May 17, 2012 at 12:26 pm

  [Ed's note: I have removed the first sentence of this comment as per our terms of service.] I hope this is a joke from you. And if it’s not, think about it, would you really want to serve a God that is prejudice to wards the very people he createed – women? Even thou you are a man, would you not think that was dreadful of a God that most know is pure love? Would not that tell you that something is serious wrong with your doctrine, your religious beliefs?

  Think about it for if you are seeking the true God, the true Saviour, you will find the truth and the truth shall set you fee.

  I will pray that you find the true path because he loves you very much.
• FIFI says:

  May 17, 2012 at 12:06 pm

  Tyrone’ about your visions that you commented on, wow! very interesting indeed. Your second last paragraph was very exciting cuz you are right. If God gives somebody a spouse to be with, he will not force either them or that spouse, they have a free will so things may become complicated due to that. You kind a got me thinking of my life. Me best friend in the Lord use to complain alot about the lack of available men and I joined in but in truth, I could not care less cuz I was happy being alone in that way. She then wanted us to pray about men so we did with communion and wow, I started have dreams and visions about men, then about boys, how they are traumatised as a youth and it was like God was saying, instead of moaning about everything, pray and decree about everything and we did and we saw changes slightly and God showed me that many men would come from the invisible to the visible tangible world and meet Christian women, some were already Christians. Something is wrong when you walk in to a church with quite a lotof men and most of them are not married and if you say hi to be polite, they sweat, as if to say, leave me alone so we prayed and prayed, there is a spirit behind it man and God made me realise that many of them, weather they are in the church or not, are not trusting God and they have been traumatised from a youth and don’t talk about it. That was a revelation, my friend was happy and she met a man who she beleived God had for her but he is so indifferent to her now, after 9 months. She fell in to a deep depression and I’m helping her come out of it. She is wonderful but he is so frightened of commitment, so he tells her in so many words.

  She got me in to wanting a man with great pressure lol. I eventually saw the need for one but was not ready one bit. I thought the end of 2012 to the begining of 2013, ill be ready but God had other plans. God moved me to meet some one very special in deed. It was hard for me cuz I was not ready in a sense thou I felt ready early 2012, but ready to think in a different ways for the end of 2012 or begining of 2013.

  In the end, I realise now why God did what he did. My friend said I have the man of her dreams, he is very attentive. I struggle with it cuz I like distance at times and am independent, but God wants to show me that there are men out there that will love you and all your warts, don’t fear it. I was always secretly frightened that some man may take me away from how I walk with Christ. I wanted to guard that. Christ is more important. So since Feburary I got hooked up with this man and it is like almost perfect but he wants to move a bit fast in things to be together for ever until Christ returns. I guess I have to catch up a little; but I’m a busy girl.

  If I disobeyed God, my man may have ended up with someone unsuitable so it is importantto trust God. That girl that you met probably needs to trust God more.

  I beleive you will get your Godly woman in Jesus name.

  God bless you Tyrone

  God
• FIFI says:

  May 17, 2012 at 11:41 am

  Dear Graeme Kyle, I read your post of 10/05/12 and was touched. How can it be bad to desire a wife when God himself said it is not good for man to be alone. Of course he deisres us to love him but we only can do that when we truly know how much he loves us and it’s hard for us to believe that he even loves us when we are not loving him enough. It is not about us performing and loving him, it is about accepting his love first and all that he has done for us through pure grace; that will enable us to live more holy on accident and to recieve those things that we desire in time.

  I will share with you what God said to me as clear as day. He said, “I am.” REMEMBER THAT SCRIPTURE, “I am that I am.” That is what we are too. We are not the God – the creator but we are Gods as Jesus pointed out. God made me realise that I am already those things that Christ is “has he is, so are we in this world and this year 2012 – he had been encouraging me to keep my mind on him, on who he is and what he is about, cuz when we do that, we are then transformed from glory to glory, in to his image. We must first beleive that we are first. I too have a hard time with this too. Not that we are going to be, that is where a lot of us mess up, cuz the old has passed away and everything becomes new. So if God says your rich, believe it already that you are, even if you cannot see it yet. Then the Holy Ghost will bear witness with the truth, and not with what you see, which is a lie if it is not matched up with the word of God.

  I pray for you and God bless
• FIFI says:

  May 17, 2012 at 11:32 am

  Very interesting post from you Tyrone. Really enjoyed reading that. I hope everyone reads it too.

  God bless you richly indeed
• FIFI says:

  May 17, 2012 at 11:24 am

  JB sweetheart, God shall give you the desires of your heart. He knows the end from the begining of your life. Don’t think of age, the world thinks of age and time and crap like that, it is very restrictive, but know that God can do all things to those who beleive. So have a confident expectation of hope, (you know it will happen and take all your cares to the Lord), trust also in him and he shall bring it to past.

  God bless you sister
• FIFI says:

  May 17, 2012 at 11:21 am

  Graeme Kyle, after reading such a touching comment, ill pray for you alot. continue in the Lord, he loves you so. Don’t worry about what satan is doing too much, he is defeated, we seem to forget sometimes, the battle is in the mind, and you are an overcomer Amen and Amen

  God bless you and have a great day
• FIFI says:

  May 17, 2012 at 11:14 am

  Graeme Kyle, my simple short advice to you is this, take your eyes of people and place it on Jesus. Better all round. It is great you are in to keeping fit, but do it for you and not for anyone else. Pity those that are like that, while I feel that looking after ones self and improving in life and dressing up is great, nothings wrong with that at all, we do this for a means to an end and not for it to take over our life.

  Jesus is the only being worthy of more of our attention than other people and things, thou he died to give us all these things and more.

  May God bless you on this journey
• FIFI says:

  May 17, 2012 at 11:09 am

  Oh Tyrone lol lol, I hope that was not applying to me, not all women are like that. Besides, Eve was decieved remember,which means to be tricked, betrayed. Sheh never knew any better but Adam did. God created humans not to rule over other humans but over the earth so she had every right as God has given her a free will to do as she pleased, her mistake was using her free choice to be decieved.

  Ye get it?

  God bless
• FIFI says:

  May 17, 2012 at 11:04 am

  AMEN Joel Pukalo
• FIFI says:

  May 17, 2012 at 11:02 am

  Kyle, I really enjoyed reading your comment. You are as real as it gets. It is important to be yourself; and God helps us by the Holy Spirit, even in that. Never settle for less than what you deserve although we must be careful as T.D. Jakes wonderfully puts, many men are overlooked, (including women), cuz of where they are, not realising that this too, shall pass. Many of us have great potential and we overlook them cuz of where they are now.
  My partner, well, he is fascinating but a challenge in some ways. He has this knack of thinking sometimes that he knows what’s best for me. This concerns my projects, the assignment God has given me but unless he hears from God on my behalf, he don’t and diplomatically and with respect, I make him know it and now he sings to God’s tune in me. Otherwise I would end up being something I am not.
  I do like your faith in Christ Kyle, keep it up, God will never disappoint.

  God bless
• Joel Pukalo says:

  May 17, 2012 at 10:10 am

  Dear Graeme,

  I think Amanda’s thoughts are very accurate. Though it is certainly important to be responsible in life but if you try to “look good in the world’s eyes” chances are you are going to attract the wrong type of girls who are more in love with the world than they are in love with God.

  God showed me that until I grow in my relationship with him, I am not ready to have a wife because she would only distract me from my relationship with God. Why would God give you a wife, if it would prevent you from developing a deeper relationship with your heavenly Father?

  Like Amanda said, the only way to find a wife is to draw closer to God. Until you have a strong relationship with God you are not ready for a human relationship.

  I really like what Amanda wrote about a significant other. Besides, if the girl God has for you is so special, then God wants to even keep her in reserve FROM you, if that’s warranted at the moment, until such time as HER best interests are going to simultaneously be looked after while you are enjoying having met her.

  Until you realize what a serious matter it is to look after a daughter of God, he will not lead you to her. Our greatest responsibility, honor and privilege in this life is to look after a daughter of the king. I pray we would all take this responsibility very seriously.

  My prayers are with you Graeme. Like Abraham, come to the place where you fully trust your heavenly Father and do not settle for anything less than God’s best for your life!
• Amanda says:

  May 17, 2012 at 9:09 am

  TO GRAEME KYLE:

  It doesn’t matter if “all the girls are taken,” because the One God has for you is in reserve purposefully by God somewhere. You will find out where She is when your relationship with God grows truly close enough that He deems it no risk (to your ultimate good) to release your breakthrough, because He will be assured that you will continue in that close relationship with Him even once you meet “Her.

  Besides, if the girl God has for you is so special, then God wants to even keep her in reserve FROM you, if that’s warranted at the moment, until such time as HER best interests are going to simultaneously be looked after while you are enjoying having met her. IOW, God won’t bring Her around until it likewise suits her needs and safety to do so, so you must be willing to “fine tune” things within yourself to the Word (not the WORLD). You see, God cares about HER welfare as much as yours, because She’s really something special.

  Probably what you are seeing in Cape Town is a very uber-intense, condensed version of what Americans may be experiencing in small clusters and hubs in the USA, such as in NYC and LA proper. So from the get go, it’s a little over the top when compared to regular American life. Then it seeks to mimic it. Those with the wherewithall to “live the glam life” are doing so within view of others to the hilt and it’s not even a “real view” of Americana. So you are aiming for something kind of rare and unrealistic (and often faked, even IN America).

  I suppose there’s nothing wrong with getting in shape, wearing nice clothes and smelling clean and good, but I don’t think you need to reinvent yourself so FAR from what is normal for your own tastes in order to achieve some ideal (that frankly doesn’t exist). You said, ” … I love graffiti as an art form. No more DC sneakers and Hoodies cause that is what a sloppy guy dresses in at home.” I agree with that, but there is a nice “normal” in between sloppy sneakers and hoodies, and what you call Dapper Dan. And I don’t think most women really like tightly or overly-styled men’s hair, a loose natural effect is usually better. Look at early Robert Redford photos, his hair was shampoo and go with loose waves around his ears and jaw.

  And most women DO want security and safety and their NEEDS met, but they don’t really care about sushi and “being seen,” unless they are shallow, and you don’t need those types.

  And why can’t you incorporate your “weird” interests (as YOU call them) with a neat, clean appearance and enough of a good job(s) to provide for safety and needs of a nice girl (without catering to the shallow money hungry girls). That way, you can be yourself, but alter your outer game enough to just be clean and neat and non-”hood” or “prison” work hard enough to earn a decent living. And there is no need to go out and act like an Alpha Male. It’s always good to be as outwardly confident as you can be from the inside out, but acting like an Alpha Male if you are not is being fake. You should NEVER pretend to know more than you do about team sports and cars; talk about the things YOU are interested in … with confidence! Others will want to copy YOU!

  A degree in graphic design, or any other trade or tech degree aside from a regular college degree is NOT a trojan horse. Some people are made to excel in one of the trades or tech fields, and a big college degree is simply not necessary, and they can end up following their passion and God-given talent into a very lucrative career with just that. (It’s only a trojan horse for you if you aren’t really interested in graphic design or have any natural talent in that area, but it sounds like you DO have talent and interest there, so go for it.)

  You shouldn’t have to buy any girl a car or cell phone. The girls you seem to be describing (as what you want) sound like the would already have those things anyway.

  Of course, girls want a “nest” because they want children. If you are interested in what God has planned for the next generation, then you should likewise want a nest for you and your loved one and future children. Besids, all that work for an education and career are not wastes of time, because you would do those things for yourself even if you wanted to remain single anyway.

  What’s wrong wtih loving animals and drawing? That’s part of the real you, where part of your main talents and interests probably lie anyway. So be successful (as defined by YOU and God), good-smelling nerd who likes to draw and loves animals (and children) and wants ONE nice girl with whom he can later build a nest full of happy children and animals, who dresses semi-casually, has natural clean hair, who works hard and earns a nice living as a graphic artist or something that utilizes that graphic art degree you will eventually get, who isn’t interested in keeping multiple shallow girls luxuriating in sushi (they can go figure that out with some OTHER dude), and who doesn’t need to look like a professional model to find the right girl from God.

  Hollywood doesn’t show it much, but the real trend in America is: nerds and geeks are hot. And clean and casual (without being sloppy or gangsta) is the order of the day.

  It’s not taking it out of God’s hands to be your best YOU. Granted, there IS a fine line between what is your part and what is God’s part, but reinventing yourself to a non-existent flashy Hollywood professional buff model with money to burn on sushi and cell phones for others, who has had their hair and clothing adjusted by a professional window dresser, is going too far and isn’t being yourself.

  Prison wasn’t “yourself” either, so you needn’t carry a gansta look around beyond the end of your incarceration.

  You sound like more the artist type with a sensitive aspect, but very intelligent (and observant as you put it). But what you are “observing” around you in Cape Town is a faked, illusory lifestyle that only exists in small pockets in America and Africa, that build from illusion to more extreme illusion upon each other. You needn’t reshape yourself into a ridiculous ideal that isn’t what America is really about. You are only going to attract equally fake girl who will burn through your money and probably cause you to end up doing something to get you back in prison while attempting to “earn their love.”

  Stay in church, stay on the up-and-up (honest, hardworking endeavors), get education in an area of longterm and deep interest to whatever level that suits your goals for a career, be willing to work hard while you’re young and strong and in your earning years, stay clean and fresh and good smelling whatever you are wearing, work out to maintain your health and youth (without going nuts), don’t dress gangta or prison-ish, and having done your part, trust God to do His: you needn’t completely re-work yourself into something unrecognizeable to who you really are. God doesn’t expect (or recommend) that IMHO.

  You be your best YOU (and base “best” on reality — not Hollywood’s ideal that keeps changing with every new beauty product, fashion accessory or item that can be marketed to the masses for some 1%-er’s profit). Leave the rest to God.

  In your case, you seem to me to be more likely to overdo “your part” toward some extreme ideal and thereby lose sight of your faith in God doing HIS part. If you lose sight of God’s part and believing He is doing it, then you may lose sight of your relationship with God, and if you lose sight of THAT, then He cannot work on your beahlf (IOW, He can’t do His job/part if you don’t maintain your RELATIONSHIP with Him).

  Start observing God and His Word, and not Hollywood. Besides, how can God do His part if you have morphed yourself into something that isn’t even you and called it “your part”?
• Graeme Kyle says:

  May 17, 2012 at 6:33 am

  Hey Tyrone

  Well I better make piece with the fact I will be alone lol. Its not so bad. I have my art and I am married kinda already to my work.
  But if I make it finacially so to say. Do I intern judge someone by the same standards they did me. I know we should turn the other cheek. Do I say no sorry Samantha I can’t date you cause you aren’t in Gym two hours a day! You don’t aspire to drive an Audi Q7 you aren’t bubbly enough. Your cup size is a bit small. Your hair too short. You should always smell like Britney Spears Fantasy! Do I be fussy and fickle they are. I tell you I would rather die alone then be someone I aint. And its hard to be something you aint.

  This is why jokingly I wrote that. But a lot of truth be said in jest. Facts are never nice. I am though curious what the girls have to say about this…THere is an old saying you can fool most of the people most of the time. But you can’t fool all of the people everytime. Be as cacious as serpants and as humble as doves. I was told by a verycommitted Christian who has walked with God for 10 years. His opinion I respect as he knows my past and issues. He said don’t be so hasty to give a girl your heart. Tyrone. I am gonna say. I think if this is how you feel after trying so hard to win this girl’s heart. Can this be from God? I believe God and his life plan is infinitely easy and also hard to get. But I don’t want to contridict myself. I just feel. Dude move on. If someone makes you sweat it out so long. I say move on. I relaised I will never chase girls again. I will try but if you don’t put out. And I mean give me a clear sign you keen. I am devaluing myself and my self esteem. I can rather spend my time on me. I would be happy with getting ahead and being with myself. My world I can win in. As loser as that sounds. I don’t care. No one I know can or has done what I did. I stuck out Jail for 11 years with the thought I would spend 17 years in. And if you met me I would act like it never got to me. And it doesn’t define me. Because through Christ I am saved and set free. There is no limit to me. I am just this. With faith as small as a mustard seed . Ye shall say unto the Mountain Move! And it shall MOVE! God promised me that! I am proof God delivers. Perhpas my whole life is meant to be to start a church for people who have been through so much and have given up there is hope and believe they can’t. I have the proof there is. And that is the mustard seed I have. You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
  And what do we say? Amen….make it so!
• Tyrone says:

  May 17, 2012 at 5:34 am

  Graeme Kyle,

  To touch base I am also from South Africa. I was shown my destined wife and went across overseas four times to see her and still she does not show ANY interest even as a friend. I realised, a man can sacrafice EVERYTHING for her and land up a hobo. It will not attract her. The more a man has, the more attractive he is to her. Its a fact of life. A worldy woman will not look at the size of Jesus inside of a man. She will look at the size of a wallet because in that wallet she sees her future. After all, what did Eve choose? Power or Love? She chose Power because she could not accept coming from Adam and “merely” under his arm. People use Jezebel as a “perfect example”. Its not. Eve was more satan’s partner than what Jezebel was. She wasnted the throne to RULE THE WORLD! She ate the fruit only after Satan told her “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.””

  SHE WANTED TO BE LIKE GOD AND REBEL AGAINST ADAM’S RULE! This is where the enemy got a doorway! This is why the enemy tempted her! The enemy needed to work through Eve and get Eve to be an AGENT OF SEDUCTION, by appealing to HER EYES.

  “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.”

  SHE CAME, SHE SAW, SHE CONQUERED AND CAUSED ALL OF CREATION TO FALL WITH HER. How? She seduced Adam the same way! She seduced him!

  Now, this is an important fact. We wre created in the image of God, as Eve was created in the IMAGE OF ADAM. Eve came from Adam. Flesh for flesh and bone for bone. Man is made in the image of God DIRECTLY and Women is made in the image of God INDIRECTLY.

  SHE WILL USE ALL HER SENSES AND ALL HER SEDUCTIONS AND ALL SHE WANTS to get what she wants. It was written in the UNCORRUPTED nature of women. She wasn’t fallen or evil when SHE FOUND POWER MORE ATTRACTIVE TO LOVE. Why? She was not satisfied! Just like Satan, SHE WANTED TO BE LIKE GOD!

  Now, all this cat-walking, nose soaring, glamorous white picket fence knight in shining armour HAS NOTHING to do with her need for love. It has everything to do with her comfort and her SELF-PRESERVATION.

  ALL OF THAT SPELLS JEZEBEL SPIRIT! MOST WOMEN TODAY ARE FILLED WITH JEZEBEL. THEY ARE LIKE THEIR MOTHER JEZEBEL AND THEIR GRANDMOTHER EVE.

  They don’t want love. They want POWER.
• Graeme Kyle says:

  May 17, 2012 at 2:41 am

  Dear Amanda and everyone else

  I just want to thank everyone for their replies.

  Amanda while you are right of some stuff. That my relationships have been all about “sex’ before marriage. Not all of them have been. I just want to say I aint even after sex now. I am kind of thinking now girls are more willing to give sex and not their hearts because its casual to just have sex. But requires feelings and effort to care about someone. My quest was being after someone who is like me or gets me. And at this stage I doubt I will find someone here in South Africa like me. They few and far between and taken.

  The fact of the matter to date a decent classy girl be it in Church or off the street. And I do a lot of reading and watching inter human dynamics. I am very observant. Number one. Being a guy just out of jail struggling to get up isn’t helping. Statically I should be back inside. I have been out 3 years now. So good for me. But that isn’t a bragging thing to people. I am determined to stay free because even inside I didn’t feel that I belong there.

  And I hate sometimes giving people what they want especially if it is bad for me. In this case baying for my blood and my downfall. I can’t tell you how many times I been rejected from my youth to now being in the ultra competitive and image conscious city of Cape Town. A lot of so called friends have basically wished I died. I tend to attract just people who turn out to be fakes. A Christian once said he felt I am a King. Just the way I am. And the Devil works damn hard to shatter my determination and resolve to get ahead.
  That is why I have Always Faithful tattooed on my arm. Because I believe I the Spirit I have in me is determined. I did this outside so it wasn’t a prison thing.

  I started going to Gym to work at getting really fit. After all some girls said I was fat. When I wasn’t. So me being me I was and still am determined to prove them wrong. So my ab class still uses 5 Kilogram weights. I now use 20. I spend on average 2 hours in the gym daily when some come just for 30 minutes. I guess I am determined to fix everything that has happened to me. Move on past my past and leave it all behind.

  But it’s like this you see. Girls like what they term stability. Honey I want a Cell phone. Guy has to buy one for her. Honey I want those sexy stiletto boots for winter. Guy must buy them. In a way I don’t want to say you buying her love. Respect and affection, but the reality is you have to keep her happy not only emotionally but materially. Women love a guy that can demonstrate higher value. That is why people are star struck by Hollywood stars. They represent a step up socially and materialistically. And if you say Church girls are not such. Last night all the girls in my Bible study group had degrees. They studied not to be cleverer. They studied to get ahead and make a killing. Now they will seek out someone like minded. Like attracts like. They would never settle for someone broke and being between badly jobs. So I prayed really hard for God to get me an education. And I will be honest I will be studying further in graphic design to get a piece of paper that says degree just so I can get past a woman’s own defences for her to deem me a worthy partner.
  A Trojan horse. I know a degree in design won’t make me happy. It’s just to impress someone I don’t really know to say I can do what I can already do seriously. It’s a piece of paper that has no value to me. Cause I aint it! I am Graeme Kyle more then just that.

  Dating requires transport. No girl wants to use semi unsafe public transport or wait around for it. They want a chauffer. I seen it all too often guy is the driver girl is in the passenger seat on her Smart phone Tweeting. Texting. Facebooking. Doing what she does best. Socialising feeling equal her man has got it going on. There are exceptions to rules. But a swallow does not make a flock.

  What is better a guy with a good heart and good personality and funny? Or a guy with all the above plus a car and a very stable job? That latter. And its called nesting. Just like weaver birds. She wants a Nest. It guarantees safety. Good times. And somewhat respect.

  Now my sister and her fiancé will likely buy into an existing profitable computer business. I used to fix computers as my first job post release. So I will head that up. That covers the myth “successful’ business man fantasy she has. Notice this is all shallow and superficial. We haven’t even covered who I really am minus this “stuff”. My personality.

  With a job comes a car. Money to date. Cinema and popcorn. Sushi and wine. Mind you I kinda am grossed out by Sushi. But guess who will one day for for the sake of appearances eat sushi? Just to look in with what is the rage now. That lends me to say I like the finer things in life. Witch a quick Google search says is another check box girls want.

  So body. Car. Money class. Then I need to stop wearing Ecko unlimited. Even though I love graffiti as an art form. No more DC sneakers and Hoodies cause that is what a sloppy guy dresses in at home. I have to dress very Dapper Dan and metro sexual. Skinny jeans. Pointy leather shoes. I wear XL so I read buy something one size smaller to show your bluffness off. So dress shirts and somewhat a designer model look. Even designer stubble. Obviously DKNY for men and you gotta smell great. You cant jut use deo.
  Clean and trimmed nails. Styled hair. Once I start earning more money I will go to the high end clothes retailers and get women to dress me or get the lady who does the mannequins to give me exactly what they style the guy mannequins in. It’s a professional model shoot and we are styling to that.

  Then now when in my new city as I have to leave to study. I will then go to church. Now is where I can’t be that shy socially awkward introverted guy who I can be. I have to be very suave and chatty and charming. The Alpha male. The issue is I can’t show at this stage I love Anime or I draw weird and wacky things like Cup cakes to silly grins. I cant sport a Halo T shirt. I cant have a discussion about obscure subjects like Banksy or why Copic markers are so cool. Even that KRUMP is awesome. In my country-Again South Africa- the stuff I like is very obscure. I need to be like the rest of guys who ra ra at team sports and like cars. I have to basically live a lie and nothing hurts my character more then pretending to be this play boy pretty boy who seems to know how rugby is played and knows scores. Who speaks of his conquests glowingly. My job my degree my success.

  I looked all the girls in my church dress very girlie and classy. They are “professionals” and they are after that. I aint single because I am Gay or whatever. Its those things I listed above why I am single. This will help me. Things will happen when I get ahead. I will be seen and deemed ‘attractive”. People may say now but you are talking it out of God”s hands. But after two years of struggles I am setting up odds to be more in my favour.
• Joel Pukalo says:

  May 16, 2012 at 5:52 pm

  First I can totally relate to what you wrote JB. I am only 22 but really busy with school and following God’s mission for my life I have not had a lot of time to think about this. I know a friend of mine who was basically in your exact same place JB she was 27 and it seemed like she would never get married. She really wanted to have a family but most of all just prayed Lord whatever your will is I just want to please you. Through many divine appointments the Lord found the perfect guy who is a very strong Christian and had never had a compromising relationship with a girl.

  I know if we are faithful to simply devote ourselves to faithfully serving God he will blesses us and orchestrate a perfect plan for our lives beyond anything we could even imagine! If we just focus on the mission God has called us to in this life, he will certainly look after every need in our lives! Many of us live backwards and worry about details that we cannot solve, when we should be focusing on the mission God has called us to fulfill. Keep trusting God JB & Graeme. God wants you to know he has a perfect plan for your life and he is very pleased with your faithfulness.

  Amanda has really wise advice, don’t settle for anything lest than God’s absolute best! The Father has a perfect plan for your life, but sometimes when nothing seems to be happening, we are tempted to take matters into our own hands and try to fulfill God’s plan in our own strength.

  Trying to fulfill God’s plan in your own strength is impossible and will leave you completely miserable and unfulfilled. When Abraham tried to fulfill God’s plan in his own strength he just created chaos by producing Ishmael.

  Do you realize God could have made Sarah conceive right after he promised Abraham a son? So why did God wait so many years to perform this miracle? He was waiting until Abraham had exhausted every other option and was ready to fully surrender to God. Our heavenly Father longs to fulfill his perfect plan in our lives but he will not supersede our freewill. I pray God would continue to show each one of us when we try to bring to pass God’s promises in our own strength, we are only inhibiting him from working on our behalf. One of the greatest revelations of my life was coming to the realization “I cannot possibly fulfill God’s divine promises for my life in my own strength”. This realization has forever changed me because I know if I try to “force things to happen” I will be preventing God from fulfilling his much great, more excellent plan for my life.

  I now have a “hands off” approach to my life because I know my heavenly Father can do a far better job managing my life than I can. I know the the Father has far better plans than I could possibly come up with on my own. I know for my life to be most meaningful and fulfilling when my heavenly Father is “at the wheel” and in complete control of my life. Any areas I hold back or try to take the wheel is only inhibiting my personal fulfillment and is preventing me from having the greatest eternal impact on others.

  I pray God would personally make this real to each one of us, so we would fully surrender and allow him to fulfill his perfect plan for our lives.

  Always remember, the Father desires the absolute best for you. As intense as your cravings are for intimacy, meaning and fulfillment, your Heavenly Father yearns with a much greater intensity for his children to experience joy and complete fulfillment in life.
• Amanda says:

  May 16, 2012 at 12:51 pm

  TO GRAEME KYLE:

  I agree the devil is using your “dating around” to confound and disappoint you, draw you away from God, and draw you away from faith that God has someone specific for you, etc.

  The solution is clear: stop dating around, be chaste and obedient to the Word that sex is for inside marriage only, then God will be able to work on your behalf in bringing “her” to you. As long as we do things “our way,” God’s hands are tied in that He has already decided and stated that He will not honor the sinful approach of sleeping around as a means to find the right mate for you. You have seen that you can find someone operating your way, but it isn’t anyone you are actually compatible with.

  Decide, in advance, that even if you meet a girl you will not sleep with her until marriage (there will be plenty of time for that later). As long as your internal mindset is that you are going to operate your same old way whenever you meet anyone new, “she” will not appear. Besides, sex without guilt within the parameters of a spiritual covenent before God is the best anyway.

  When your approach lines up with the Word, your results will too.
• Graeme Kyle says:

  May 16, 2012 at 12:32 am

  Morning all fellow Brothers and Sisters

  Its amazing to wake up knowing that I am not aone anywhere in this world. As God has put caring people there.
  In earnest I love all the comments and replies. I will continue praying for clarity asking the most high God. And saviour to guide me wether it means a girlfriend or wife or not. I was told the reason why I don’t meet anyone good for me and why I have had string after string of bad experiences with girls. Is because the devil. Lower case;)He means nothing LOL.Basically the devil is attacking me through what I been through with girls. That he is going after my weaknesses. And uses them against me. My desire to meet a trully great Girlfriend. And meeting bad news women. And feeling done in and angry at why I can’t meet someone ‘cool’. He enjoys getting me frustrated and worked up. This keeps me away from God and angry at him. I have to have Faith that if there is someone like me in this life. If God has shaped me as such. I draw for instance. Not even my mom or dad does that or did. So that is God given. Anyway. I have to believe with all my uniqueness and interests. There must be someone just for me. There can’t be one person who only likes what I like. Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. 1John 4 V 4. I believe who I am is due to God putting such a driven passionate spirit in me.
• JB says:

  May 15, 2012 at 11:44 pm

  This is incredible. As if I was led here strictly to see this post to remind me that God is enough. I am 27, almost finished with anesthesia school, and single. I believe the Lord blessed my appearance and gave me a desire to find a good man to settle down with. It seems I have spent so much time on school that I have missed opportunities to date, and now I’m wondering if it’s too late for me. Even at church there are scarcely any men who aren’t married or close to it, so I guess I’m not sure where to even meet a potential mate. I know God has a plan, but a little clarity on: ‘Am I Meant to Marry or Not?’ would be great. Until then, I’m just trusting Him and studying hard.
• Joel Pukalo says:

  May 10, 2012 at 5:56 pm

  Dear Graeme and anyone else reading this,

  First I have must confess as a 22 year old I struggle sometimes struggle with the same thoughts. Secondly, I have a question for you, Do you believe God has a plan for your life?
  Honestly, I worry about many details of my life including finding a spouse, finances and many other details about my future. But recently, God has begun to address this issue. I feel God has been convicting my heart with this thought, “anything you are worrying about in life means that you are not fully convinced I have a good plan for your life”. Furthermore, God also showed me that when I worry about something, I am in essence telling him that I think I can do a better job managing my life than he can!
  I think sometimes the best thing we can do when we are concerned about any area of life is to ask ourselves, can I do a better job managing my life than God? I have to ask myself this question often and as I do am realizing how much better God’s plans are than my own plans. In Isaiah God says that his thoughts are far greater than our thoughts. His plans for our life are also far greater than anything we could possibly do on our own. In Corinthians God reminds that our minds cannot even begin to fathom the incredible plans he has for all who love him. In Jeremiah 29:11 your heavenly Father promises, I know what I’m doing. I have your life all planned out. I will always take care of you and never abandon you. I have an incredible future planned for you, if you will only trust and hope in me.
  God wants you to know he has an incredible future planned for every area of your life, if you will only trust God and surrender to his daily purposes for your life. God has an incredible plan for your life but we need to surrender our lives and allow God to lead us into his perfect plan for our lives. Only God can lead us into his perfect plan for our lives! As long as we are leading, we will never find the joy, happiness and peace God has planned for our lives. We need to surrender our fears, doubts, anxieties and even desires to his plan. I used to think Jesus words in Matthew 16:24 were kind of harsh, you must deny all your own desires if you want to follow me. Isn’t that a bit extreme? But now I am realizing Jesus spoke these words with intense love for us because he knew until we totally let go of our own desires and plans we would not be able to fully and embrace God’s perfect plan for our lives. Leaning on our own wisdom and guided by our own desire it is impossible to fully trust the Lord and follow his plan for our lives.
  Fully embracing and living in God’s plan for our lives requires us to lay our every desire and ambition at the foot of the cross. Though God has created human beings with a desire for human relationship and marriage, this desire must be laid at the foot of the cross. When we lay our lives at the foot of the cross, God raises us up to new life. When we lay our desires at the foot of the cross, only then can God bring the true fulfillment of our desires.
  Your heavenly Father longs for you to surrender this area of your life to him, so he can fulfill his perfect plan for your life. I can’t promise God will give you a wife but I can promise God’s plan for your life is far better than any life you can dream up for yourself. Worst case scenario totally surrender your life to God and for some reason his plan is for you to remain single. You will still be far more fulfilled serving God single then writing your own script for your life and getting married. Though to every single person, marriage seems very appealing, outside of God’s plan marriage very quickly becomes a huge burden and miserable. Personally, I know fully surrendering to God’s will and allowing him to lead me is the only hope I have of finding a godly wife who will enrich my life. Considering the small population of females in the world who are sincerely following God with all of their hearts, I know without God’s intervention the chances of meeting a girl who is passionate and fully committed to the Lord is dismal. God wants you to know the only way to have a godly and vibrant marriage is to fully surrendering your life to God and trust in his perfect plan.
  I pray your Heavenly Father would continue to encourage you and reveal the reality of his incredible plan for your life. God has written hundreds of scriptures to continually remind you of this truth. I would highly recommend going to an online bible and searching out every scripture on God’s plan for your life. God wants to build your faith and prove to you he has a perfect plan for your life.

  God declares in Psalm 139:16 NLT

  16 You saw me before I was born.
  Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
  Every moment was laid out
  before a single day had passed.

  God wrote and recorded a perfect script for your life in “his book”
  before you were even born. What amazes me about this verse is God does
  not just say he wrote a general script, but he says he has perfectly
  scripted “every day of my life”! For most of us the future seems
  uncertain but if you are a child of God you need to know with
  confidence your life is like a perfect movie script that has already
  been written. Though you do not know the future chapters of the book
  of your life, you must know with full confidence your heavenly Author
  has written an incredible story for your life beyond your wildest
  dreams.
• Tyrone says:

  May 10, 2012 at 6:26 am

  @ Graeme – I refuse to believe that God demands LOVE and ATTENTION. Love demanded and commanded is not love. God Himself said that it is not good for man to be alone. While there is no scripture that says God promises us a partner, we have that choice for one. I also don’t believe that God will keep something from a person if it is bad for them. He may give the knowledge and counsel that it is not good, but He will give us the choice of choosing it. An unsaved man told me that God is an egotist. The Holy Spirit answered and said to me, “Tell that man that I AM Life and as the trees raise their leaves to the Sun, so must we raise our Hands to Life in His Son”. I do not believe that He is a religious egotist as some religious people imply He is; that will deny a person a basic human need just because “He wants to be the only one loved”. Religious people can pull His character out of context. No, those are not just feelings. I was born to love and be loved. Religious people will tell you, “ooooooh you have to be unmarried to please God”. Its a satanic lie. Why? He shall provide ALL YOUR NEEDS according thi His riches in Glory in Christ Jesus”, no????? You see religious people take one verse and build sermons, dogma and doctrine from it. Jesus takes the most serious matters and explains it perfectly with one parable. While many have opinions here, The Holy Spirit has the truth. Protect your heart and don’t allow the opinions of others (even although they may seem as profoundly wise people) and make it concrete. Always allow the Spirit to pull into your heart what you keep in mind. I am honestly very tired of thinking for the reasons of why God would not allow a partner in a person’s life because He is a “God who needs ALL your attention”. Its that sort of thinking that forces people into apostacy because of frustration. I think the devil wants us to believe it. God is always MUCH BETTER than what we will ever understand in all eternity. Even the angels that fly around Him and say “Holy, Holy, Holyis the Lord”, find something new about Him every time they pass Him. So don’t let “profound religious punks” set your heart in concrete. God gave you a need for a partner. He is glorified in our marriages because they prophesy His Marriage. So, eat the fish, spit out the bones. I personally would rather have two people seeking Him and allowing the Spirit to speak His Truth to TWO people, than having just one and mistaking it. Really, doesn’t mean God doesn’t directly promise us a partner that we will not get one.
• Graeme Kyle says:

  May 10, 2012 at 2:28 am

  Hey everyone.

  I am also struggling to deal with the loneliness of being single. I started spending quiet time with God and going to a homebased Christian gathering last night. I saw a lot of datable girls. And I wondered God why can’t I have a decent Girlfriend. It started to depress me again. I try dismiss love and I have hardened my heart. But I wish with all my heart I had someone. I read the vast majority of these posts. And I guess it is wrong to want to replace God’s love with worldly love. But try tell my feelings that! So I need prayer. What do I do? Even in church more guys know me then girls. I kinda feel invisible to them. I feel weak whinining about this. Part of the armour I build up to deaden the emotional pain.
• Tyrone says:

  May 10, 2012 at 1:28 am

  @ Jamie. I really enjoyed your response and I will take a look at the websites/ links provided.

  You asked, “I understand that you are certain in the vision that God gave to you about this woman, but are you willing to trust that God’s plan may be different from the way that you originally interpreted it? If you had to choose between just God and the vision of what your life would be like with this woman, would God be enough for you?”

  I am too scared to “trust that God has a different plan” because the plan was pretty much vivid to me. Let me put this in context.

  Early 2000 – Asked God to show her to me. Got a vision of a ‘wave’ and was told to go to Israel (previous Kiibutz I went to) and that I would understand the vision when there. I also had a vision of meeting a women in a specific spot.
  June 2000 – Went to Israel. Met a woman on the Kibbutz and heard the Spirit saying ‘She is your wife’. Days later after praying much about her I asked her what her name meant. She said ‘wave’. I was then told to go to a certain area in Israel and during that time I was deep in tought about what I experienced and thought, “I can only trust my thoughts when the Holy Spirit is near”. At that exact moment, the Holy Spirit opened my spirit eyes and I was facing the Spirit of Jesus, as in I was facing the face of the Spirit of Christ. Even although it lasted for a fraction of a split second, he said to me, “I love you and I AM with you”. I saw His face on the Cross and the way it is now and Truth was tangible. I could feel it beat against me like waters of a waterfall. However, He was burning me! His Holiness was burning me, but I understood at that point is that His Love is Holiness and it burns! So I came face to face with Jesus and then I was led back to my country. Years passed while I waited. I retrned 5 years later and met her twice. The second time I met her she introduced me to her boyfriend and she was pink puppy faced around him. It hurt me so much. I left. I returned again in the 7th year; and again in 2007 without any breakthrough except that I came under extreme spiritual attack in 2007. When I say extreme attack I am talking about attack of witchcraft against my mind that almost left me insane. No lies. The enemy was walking that line between sanity and insanity. Most christians do not recognise attack against the mind. I had a vision of one side of my mind with a massive hole in it. This was the result of an attack from a spirit of condemntation, or an attack that managed to get my helmet off (helmet of salvation). An attack that compromised certain truths of Salvation in my mind that opened me up. It was terrible. I remember being led back to my country and I had to go through a process of being cleaned of familiar spirits that was sent my way and this was confirmed in dreams that I was given.
  In 2010, I was led back to Israel and I was told to return to the same Kibbitz. By this time, and for a while, she had been staying in Tel-Aviv. I went straight to Eilat to snorkel the coral reef and then I was urged by the Spirit to return to the Kibbutz. As I did, 2 or 3 weeks into my trip, I received a vision of a wave with a log in it. I was given the interpretation of a ‘spirit of heaviness’ that was attacking her. Something heavy was inside of her. I was then led to the graveyard and I heard the Spirit shout loud in my head; “OPEN YOUR EYES!”. I looked around and I always found myself infront of one specific grave which was new and had a temporary sign of who the person was but I could not properly read Hebrew. I was led off the Kibbutz and on my way back to a hitch-hiking point, a person pulled over and volunteered to take me to the bus stop where I could get a bus back to Tel-Aviv. This person started a conversation about meetng the right partner in life. I opened up about my history on the Kibbutz but was brief and rather selective in what I had to say. He asked who she was and after promising me not to tell her family I visited the Kibbutz, he told me that her father died two weeks prior. It was his grave! This was the reason why she was heavy! I was not impulsive. I moved into prayer for almost three months while in Israel (wasn’t cheap) and finally I got a word for her. I was forced to give the word via a friend of hers (which took guts) because she did not want to see me. I returned and received more visions/dreams concerning her. In one I saw that I would be involved in her deliverance. In another dream we were swimming in a pool in a house while others were watching and I was protecting her nakedness. The house of water obviously represents OUR HOUSE, or ONE BODY filled with the Spirit. She looked different but her eyes the same. The other dream I entered a house filled with snake tanks and I grabbed this young girl with white hair and as we went through the house, some snakes bit me and eventually I got her out and we embraced and kissed like lovers. This could only be prophetic of how God would use me in her deliverance, from a house filled with evil spirits. It is now 2012, almost 12 years from when I met her. I heard the Lord the other tell me, “Choose the rejection of God, or the rejection of man, You will have her!”. I also saw a vision of a lantern affixed to the front wall of a house on the side of the front door. The lantern fell to the ground and shattered. At that point I saw the feet and legs of a young women stepping out of the front door and she was wearing her sleeping clothes. This was obviously telling that at the point of absolute despair, she will wake up. I remember when I met her, the same night she told me that her name means wave, that she fell asleep in my arms under a tree where we remained for almost the whole night. I could not wake her up. I tried everything. During that time I received visions of my future and I also got the knowledge that my wife was in my arms. This was a deep KNOWING that only the Spirit can provide. I eventually spoke in English and told her it’s morning. She immediately woke up. After that we walked to the spot I saw in a vision of where I would meet her. I followed her decision to go to that specific spot. It has turned out to be prophetic. I have returned four times after meeting her and there was always a call to wake up. She has not woken up. I returned late 2011 and she did not want to see me at all. There are so many things I do not understand. Its been 12 years. So long. Even to apoint where I seem to be losing heart and interest. No, I do not think God has a different plan. By the way, in 2010 I saw a vision of her pregnant and then I was reminded of another child I saw in visions years ago. I saw her with another child that wasn’t mine. When I prayed and cried about it, the Lord told me, “I told you”.I was then shown a dream where I saw God’s fingers run over a child’s eyes and He said, “Your child would have had real beaautiful eyes, but no!”. I was given the understanding that she wanted HEBREW children. I received another vision where I saw myself and the Lord on either side of her and we were both bowing down to her, and at that point the Spirit and myself said in unison, “AS IF!” and I was given the understanding that my life and his purpose for our lives WAS ON HOLD BECAUSE SHE WAS NOOT SEEKING HER GOD AND GODLY HUSBAND. I believe from this experience that God is disabled from giving His intended partners to people because those intended partners are not seeking Him and He can only ordain that marriage if both willingly want Him and each other. He has also helped me to understand that many people make gods out of their partners and He can not intervene because He gives FREE WILL to people. I do believe that God has perfect partners in people, however I came across scripture that proves that there is a spiritual law in place that if a person is in rebellion, the rebellion can not only push the destined partner away, but it can also cause the destined partner to sin in which case God will forgive that destined partner. I know I just said a lot, and it is a lot to take in, and I am hoping there are MATURE SPIRITUAL PEOPLE that can read this and maybe comment. I really don’t need to responses of people who think they know something from the books and vomit it all out in their religious opinionated deliberation; i.e. the Legalists of Christianity.
• Alan says:

  May 9, 2012 at 8:46 pm

  This article, in many ways, reflects my current situation (except for the gender, age, never dated anyone, and have not left the church). I had the best chance to find a mate during my college years; yet the few times I wanted and tried to ask someone out, I got turned down. I had to focus on my studies (but at the expense of finding a mate and getting married, like many of my friends did.); in fact, if I had been dating, I might not have made it through pharmacy school. Now that I’ve been a pharmacist for several years, I have what seems to be the best circumstances for being able to support a marriage. Yet, I live in a state (and in a rural area of said state, to boot) in which it is common to marry young (i.e. early to mid-20s, and likely contributes to our high divorce rate). Because of this, the pool of suitable prospects is hopelessly small to nonexistent. I’ve tried the online dating route several times over the last decade, but it hasn’t worked for me. I seem to be the type that likes to meet a single woman personally, but because of these past rejections, I am painfully shy to take the initiative, as the man should. Also, the rare times my friends have tried to set me up with someone, the chemistry just wasn’t there. On top of that, most of my friends don’t know of any single women that they would think would make a good match for me, and sometimes I wonder if they even really care, because I am the only single person in their circle of friends.

  All of this is making me frustrated with the single life, as it is all I’ve ever known. I don’t know what it is like to be in a romantic relationship or marriage. When the topic of issues with marriage or children come up, I am unable to relate, as those are still very much in the future for me. Conversely, many of my friends cannot relate to being a long-term single for the reasons that I explained previously. Some of them tell me platitudes like, “When you’re not looking, that’s when you’ll meet her, [which I don't totally understand; how do not look and then know]” and “There are worse things than being single.” This also has affected my relationship with God, as I am finding it harder to depend on Him for this as I sometimes wonder if He knows or understands my situation and bring someone into my path. I feel at times like taking matters into my own hands and just grabbing the first one that comes. I also have wondered, “What use am I to my church if I feel like I am being slighted because of my singleness?” and “If I am a single man surrounded by married couples and families but despairing over said status, what is the use of still being around?” I envy my married friends with children, as I want to be a husband and father, but still young enough to fully enjoy those blessings (in other words, I’m not fond of the idea of being a late-bloomer). Because of this, I seriously feel cursed and lacking in maturity (i.e. not feeling like I’m fully a grown-up adult).

  Please, please, please pray for me that God would wrap me in His arms and reveal Himself to me. Also pray for patience until that appointed time that I meet that special godly woman, or for God to fully remove my desire for marriage out of me. Thank you.
• Jamie says:

  May 8, 2012 at 11:33 am

  Hi Tyrone, I am not sure that Rob monitors the comments on this site. You may be able to chat with him directly from his home page http://www.datingwithpurepassion.com/pages/page.asp?page_id=2715.

  If I can just comment on your story, it kind of reminded me of a time when I heard Phil Vischer talk about what happens when God takes your dream away. Phil is a co-creator of the Veggie Tales videos. You may have heard that after some exciting success but some poor business decisions Phil and Mike Nawrocki lost a lawsuit with the distribution company and eventually their Big Idea Entertainment company went bankrupt (you can read Phil’s account of this at http://www.philvischer.com/phil-news/what-happened-to-big-idea-part-1) When I heard Phil talk he described how the dream that he knew came from God about where this company would go and how it would promote Christian values for kids, gradually became more important to him than his own relationship with God. He went through a real tough time as Big Idea began to fail because he was certain that God had given him this vision. He had to ask himself, “Is God enough for me?”

  I understand that you are certain in the vision that God gave to you about this woman, but are you willing to trust that God’s plan may be different from the way that you originally interpreted it? If you had to choose between just God and the vision of what your life would be like with this woman, would God be enough for you?

  Remember Abraham. God had given him some pretty grand promises but the longer that time went on the harder it was to believe that God’s promises would come to fruition. By the time of Abraham’s death he only owned a small cemetery in the land that God had promised him. He only had two sons of the promised descendants that God would give to him. It wouldn’t be until his grandson Jacob that there would be a large number of children and it wasn’t until a 400 year lay-over in Egypt that his descendants would occupy the Land of Promise. And it wasn’t until the birth of Jesus that the promise that all nations would be blessed was finally fulfilled. Just because God makes a promise it does not mean that it will work out in the timeline that we think makes the most sense or in the way that we deem the best. When we are left waiting we are forced to ask ourselves, “Is God enough?”
• Tyrone says:

  May 8, 2012 at 1:06 am

  @ Claire Colvin. You have such a beautiful answer. Well Done. Melvin, you obviously are religious and all your decisions is based on fear and the law and not grace and because of that I worry if you are actually saved or not. People can only accept the FREE GIFT (Note; FREE GIFT) of Salvation through Grace, and Sanctification and Redemption. If you did you will know that God is not a satanic monster as you imply he is. [comment edited to remove derogatory accusations. Our policy is to let this site be a place for safe conversation. Feel free to disagree with one another but refrain from hurtful accusations]
• Amanda says:

  May 7, 2012 at 11:04 pm

  TO CLAIRE: It seems like Melvin threw many religions in a blender, then took what came out and ran over it with his car. I wonder if he is being satirical and silly, or is just very confused. I don’t believe any one person could seriously have taught him these things under one coherent heading. He is either joking, is mental, or didn’t listen to a word he was told by others accurately.
• Claire Colvin says:

  May 7, 2012 at 5:18 pm

  Melvin, I am genuinely concerned about what kind of Bible you have been reading that has lead you to believe that God only accepts virgins. How could that possibly make sense? At the very beginning of the Bible Adam and Eve are instructed to be fruitful and multiply – to have sex and make babies. That command was given BEFORE sin entered the world. What kind of monster God would specifically command his children to do the very thing that would bar them from Heaven?

  God absolutely DOES talk about women (right from the very beginning actually) and women absolutely CAN go to Heaven. You said that we should pay attention to the Catholics, I would suggest that you need to pay closer attention to them yourself. The Catholic faith does not believe that purgatory necessarily leads to Hell. Rather, purgatory is said to be a place of waiting and refining so that a person avoids Hell and gains access to Heaven. For myself, I do not believe in the existence (or need for) purgatory.

  Eve is not the serpent, Eve was tempted by a serpent, but I suspect that trying to sort out the details is not really what you are interested in. If you choose, as you mentioned in your previous comment, not to have a spouse, that is certainly your choice. But your claim that I am full of envy over it is simply untrue. I’m not sure if you are genuinely interested in Heaven and Hell or simply looking to stir up trouble. If your search for God is genuine, I urge you to find a spiritual leader – a pastor or a priest or a rabbi – to discuss your ideas with. You seem to have sampled from many faiths and yet distorted them all. I cannot imagine believing in the vengeful God you describe here. That would be terrifying.
• Melvin says:

  May 5, 2012 at 12:21 am

  God does not accept straights and gays. Sorry. God accepts only virgins in heaven who are only 144,000. Did God talked about women. Do women can go heaven. Bible, go to Revelation 14, verse 4. Stop your ignorance. Hear the Catholics. They are right. Everyone of you will go to the purgatory to go hell so that you are purified and cleansed that you may go heaven. First go to hell and then enter heaven cleansed of the original sin of Eve, the serpent.
• Melvin says:

  May 5, 2012 at 12:19 am

  I do not want a wife. I do not want a man. I want only Jesus Christ. You are full of envy because I am like a Virgin Mary.
• Tyrone says:

  May 3, 2012 at 4:20 pm

  Hi Rob

  I am not sure when you posted this and I do hope that you could respond. I am going to be to the point. Your article is amazing as it addresses specific areas in my life. In 2000 I asked God to show me my partner. I was introduced to her by means of visions and then meeting her personally. I was then separated from her by the Spirit. Over almost 12 years there has been no communication even although I have returned to her country 4 times to see her. My life is ripped apart and I have backslidden somewhat severely. I am somewhat bitter and angry in life, out of fellowship, and sinful. Well it has been a continues degression over the years with moments of realistion. I do understand that we are to seek His Love and be reliant on Him but my motivation for marriage was to have a Partner before Him and for the purpose of Him. It says that it is not good that man is alone and we are social and loving beings that need affection. I do not disagree with you in any way and have come to realise many of the truths you state. Love is selfless and needs to find a place to share itself. Surely the need to be loved by the Christ through each other is not contrary to the Word. In fact, the Word says that He who says he loves his brother and loves God is a liar. I specifically stand before Him expectant of a wife because I need a second person dedicated to our journey as we can not do this alone. Its simple. I however can not get over this bitterness within me because I can not fully understand all the reasons why God would allow it. I mean, I do believe I was led to ask to be introduced to her and I was answered. I believe I was answered. The spiritual events, visions and divine appointments that happened were all too real for me to let go up till now. What is your take on this?
• Jamie says:

  May 3, 2012 at 11:38 am

  Hi Chris, I have looked for your missing posts and can only find your original post in December. You said that you posted a response by email and that may be the problem. If you have subscribed to this page you will receive email notifications of new posts. There are links in that email which will bring you back here and then you can post a response from here. If you reply to that email or send something to that address it will not get posted here because that is exclusively an outgoing email account.

  I appreciate you participation in this conversation and look forward to seeing more of your comments on this page. If you have any further concerns you can contact us through our online mentors. If you fill out the Mentor Request Form at http://powertochange.com/experience/talk-to-a-mentor and express your concern it will get filtered to the appropriate person who will contact with an email. I hope this helps!
• Chris says:

  May 3, 2012 at 8:40 am

  I posted a response to A via e-mail, but like most of my posts, it seems to have gone missing.

  I was watching a sermon by Jesse Duplantis on TV the other night and he said something that, as someone who’s also eagerly awaiting a lifemate, spoke to my heart and may help you guys out too. He said that when we dwell on something that we want and do not have (yet), we open the doors of our hearts to Satan to constantly remind us of what we don’t have, and that in turn makes us bitter and depressed. We should instead ask God to remove that obssession from our minds, and that in turn will make room for more of His blessings, which Jesse said would be given to us faster as a result. One of those blessings could very well be our lifemate.

  Also, the high school classmate who was the one most responsible for turning me to Christ years ago did something that may be of great value. He would write down specific passages from the Word that dealt with whatever troubles he was facing at the time and would read them repeatedly throughout the day. I imagine it was a way of “chiseling” away at his problems, and there’s no better tool than God’s word.

  Just some suggestions. I love and pray for all of you!
• H. says:

  May 2, 2012 at 2:03 pm

  Nice. I’d have to disagree though. There are atheists that get ‘boyfriends’ or ‘girlfriends’. Can you tell me two 5th graders are ready to love? There has to be more to it than that. And it would be ‘evil’ to guess Jesus as a sexual spouse. We have bodies. How can one procreate without another person’s body. Very nice though. Maybe God’s will is for us not to have one. Maybe it’s a sacrifice to give to Him. I mean, we might be called to be nuns. Who knows. Either way, nice post.
• Kate says:

  April 30, 2012 at 6:17 pm

  Dear Mary,

  So glad to have you here to share your heart! One thing is that when God gives a word, He confirms it. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you discern what the Lord is doing now in your life, and what He is asking you to do. We must be obedient, for then His will will be done. We must especially learn to very carefully discern the voice of the Lord.

  For example, you mentioned that you remembered you had this man’s email password and you checked his email. I do not think this was an honest thing to do. I am sure our Lord would not encourage you to do something sinful; Satan on the other hand would. When a thought like that comes to mind, you must bring it before the Lord and ask Him, what shall I do with this thought? If I had a thought to spy on someone I pray that I would have the strength by the Holy Spirit to confess, “Lord I want to spy, but I know it is not right. Forgive me. If there is information You want me to know, I trust You will make it known to me. Help me not to do anything by deceit or manipulation. My faith is in You, not in what I can get with my own sinful ways.”

  The more you confess your need before God, and learn to tune into His voice and His thoughts by studying your Bible, the more you will feel your faith grow…and when your faith grows, by His grace, you will find yourself more in love with Him, so that whatever the circumstance, whatever the storm, whatever the trial, you need not feel dismay. God has a plan, and He DOES keep His promises, though all else should fail His word will not, but we can’t see the plan or know it in advance, which is why we must pray for FAITH and GRACE to trust Him more!

  Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for Mary! Thank You that You have made her beautiful and that she is Your beloved. Thank You that You do not relent in dealing with us, that You are always the Potter and we are always the clay, best when being moulded by Your hands, made into all You have made us to be! We look forward to the way You will answer Mary’s prayers and cause her heart to pound with the love of Christ. In Jesus’ mighty name I pray!

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