Does God Promise You a Spouse?
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Jennifer was a disgruntled, single woman at my church. She was thirty-six years old and complained that her life was slipping away. Six years had passed since her last boyfriend, and her dating life remained in limbo. Jennifer wondered whether her heart still had the capacity to love. Beneath her jaded disposition festered an undercurrent of resentment toward God.
After attending church regularly for over two years, she suddenly disappeared. Three months later, I bumped into her at a restaurant and asked her whether she had moved to another church. She replied, “No, I’ve quit church altogether. I just can’t bring myself to worship a God who would leave me in such loneliness.” Jennifer concluded that if she was ever going to let God back into her life, He’d better bring her a husband—and fast.
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Does God promise us a spouse? The Bible says “yes” by describing Christians as the spiritual bride of Christ. Our true spouse is Jesus. Yet, many of us say, “I’m glad to be spiritually married to Christ, but I can’t feel Him. Wouldn’t it be better if I could enjoy God’s love with someone else? I want Jesus with skin on.” So, we pray for God to bring us an earthly mate.
The gripe for love
My search for a spouse turned into a cycle of frustration as I encountered numerous relational struggles and a wife who abandoned me six months into our marriage. I started to wonder if God actually cared about my romantic relationships. Whenever I felt particularly upset about being single, I would sit in my den recliner and gripe to God about the injustice of my social life. Knowing He possessed omnipotent power made it seem logical to expect a wife from Him.
Whenever I demanded that God rush me a spouse, however, He seemed to whisper this question in my heart, “Rob, is the love of Jesus Christ enough for you? Have you allowed My complete forgiveness and unconditional acceptance to satisfy your heart?”
In tears of resignation, I conceded, “I appreciate Your love, Lord, but all I really want is a wife.” I still believed that my heart needed the affection of a person in order to feel complete. In essence, I valued human love more than God’s love.
One day, I began to look back over my life and the numerous dead-end relationships from my past. In each situation, romance had started out with a bang but fizzled under the weight of performance-based love. No matter who I met, either I was too demanding or she couldn’t accept me for who I was.
Suddenly, something clicked within my mind. I thought, “Why am I chasing marriage when it cannot provide the unconditional love that my heart craves? Only Christ offers everything I need.” With this new perspective, I relinquished to God my demand to get married. I still wanted to find a spouse someday, but I no longer considered marriage necessary to complete my life. If I remained single for the rest of my life, that was okay—God promised to fulfill my heart.
When we demand that God bring us a mate, we block His love from enhancing our social life. The anger that we harbor builds a wall between us and Him. If we are honest with ourselves, we realize that our demand for marriage is a refusal of God’s love because we want our selfish desires met. God will never stop loving us, but we ignore Him when we desperately seek a human being to make us happy. Furthermore, whatever we depend upon for our happiness will wind up controlling us. If we believe that we need a human spouse to be satisfied, then people, rather than God, will dictate our lives.
God is in control of everything, but He does not intervene just to make our lives easy. He had no intention of making a woman magically appear and fall in love with me. Instead, God wanted to use His power to mature me into someone who would initiate sacrificial love towards other people. I wanted to get love, while God was teaching me to give love.
The freedom to love
Likewise, God is working in your life to help you meet and love other people. However, you make the final choice as to whom you accept and whom you reject. When you interact with another person, you have the freedom to decide which direction your relationship will take. You can choose to become romantic, just be friends, or end your time together and separate. In addition, the other person has a decision in the matter, which means he can influence the outcome. Consequently, a relationship will not develop unless both of you decide to love each other. On the other hand, if you or the other person make selfish decisions, your relationship may crumble.
The desire for marriage is a fair request, but the consequences of living in a fallen world can prevent people from reaching that goal. For instance, you can pursue someone romantically, but that individual may choose to ignore you, a crisis or illness could hinder you, or that person may decide to leave you. The sins of humanity create numerous barriers to good relationships.
Yet, why is life so hard sometimes? Why doesn’t God use His power to protect us from pain? Actually, God is at work, but in a different way than some of us realize.
God uses His sovereign power to encourage people to love each other, but He also allows us to make selfish choices that can tear us apart. God permits calamity so that we can experience His greatest gift – a free will. Without free will, you and I would be robots or lifeless, stuffed animals. Fortunately, God limits His power to let us make our own choices in life. Does your free will nullify God’s omnipotence? No, as Psalm 37:23 says, “The steps of a man are established by the Lord.” God is so powerful that He can allow you to choose and still work the outcome for His glory.
Why is free will so important? God wants you to enjoy true love, and true love cannot exist without a choice. If you were forced to love God or another person, then love would disappear, and you would be under manipulation. Free will is the key ingredient to true love.
I recognized the importance of this truth when I couldn’t get a date for my junior high school prom. I had asked several girls, but they all turned me down. Four days before the big dance, however, a friend told me about a girl, named Tiffany, who needed a date. Frankly, I wasn’t attracted to her, but I asked her anyway, because she was my only option.
During the prom, Tiffany and I attempted to be cordial, but it became obvious that neither of us had an interest in each other. We didn’t talk during dinner, we didn’t want to dance as the band played, and we didn’t smile as our pictures were taken. Most of the evening, we sat in silence and stared dreamily at the students whom we really liked. Through that ordeal, I learned that love cannot exist unless both parties freely choose to be together.
Therefore, finding an earthly spouse will not occur through demanding God to miraculously bring someone to your doorstep. Marriage is not a predetermined process that happens mysteriously. You will get frustrated if you believe that God mystically pairs people together. If God predetermines marriage, then why doesn’t He stop divorce? Instead, God lets us make the decision to love or the decision to leave.
The choice to love
God brings people across your path and encourages you to love them, but He lets you manage your relational responses. Thus, marriage revolves around deliberately making choices to love another person. You can improve your opportunities for romance by getting out and choosing to sacrificially love people. Or, you can opt for selfish or reclusive behavior and diminish your relational prospects. The quality of your social life hinges on the choices you make.
Does God promise you a spouse? Yes, as the bride of Jesus Christ. Does God promise you an earthly spouse? No, because finding a husband is a process, in which two people decide to sacrifice themselves for each other’s benefit. So, don’t let the goal of earthly marriage control your life. Otherwise, you will become miserable, because you cannot control the future or free will of other people.
God wants your spiritual marriage to be your heart’s primary source of love and acceptance. Earthly relationships are the avenues to express His love to others. The more you love other people, the more you increase opportunities for an intimate relationship to develop. God may not orchestrate a passionate romance on earth, but He promises a life of passion to enjoy with Him.
Questions:
Use the following questions to consider if your desire for marriage has become a demand:
- Am I dating to find someone who can make me feel better about myself?
- Can I feel content and thankful to God in my singleness?
- Am I cynical about relationships with the opposite sex?
- Am I afraid of the possibility of never getting married?
- Is the love of Jesus Christ enough for me?
If your desire for marriage has turned into a demand, find encouragement by meditating on these verses: Philippians 4:6-13; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.
So, how’s your love life? Do you need to talk? Either contact us privately by filling out this form and one of our mentors will contact you or make a comment about this article below. (The form is under the last comment.)
Thank you Crispen, I appreciate and God bless you
FIFI,
It’s cool. No hard feelings. I can be mad just cuz u disagreed with me. You were honest and open
Joseph, I understand that you are hurt and angry but I can’t let you speak about women that way, not here. If you truly believe that what you said about women in correct then I am baffled as to why you’d want to be in a relationship with any of us. Singleness is a hard road, but holding on to anger and bitterness is no path to happiness. As others here have mentioned, if you want to be a in a good relationship you need to be a good potential partner. Would you want to date a woman who described men the way you described women in your comment?
It sounds like you have not worked through your emotions and hurt from the end of your marriage. Have you seen a counsellor or pastor to help you process? From your comments here it sounds to me like you are grieving the end of your marriage and have gotten stuck in the early stage of that grief – anger. Until you can process that grief and hurt it is going to be very challenging to be a good partner if you were to find someone you wanted to spend more time with. I know it’s not easy, but it’s almost impossible to hold anger and love in your heart at the same time. Often you have to let go of one to make room for the other.
JOSEPH, HI,
U ARE ONE IN MANY THAT ARE WAITING AND FRUSTRATED. JUST DON’T GIVE UP AND GET SCRIPTURES RELATING TO THE PROMISES OF GOD AND WHAT CHRIST PAID FOR AND READ IT UNTIL THE SEEDS GET INSIDE YOU AND IT WILL PRODUCE EITHER DEATH OR LIFE BUT THE WORD OF GOD WILL PRODUCE LIFE, IT HAS TO CUZ HIS WORDS ARE LIFE AND HOLD ON TO HOPE. “WE ARE PRISONERS OF HOPE,” SAID THE WORD.
TO T.MAN AND CRISPEN, I KNOW I WAS VERY FIRM WITH YOU BOTH AND I BELIEVE IN WHAT I SAID BUT I DON’T THINK MY COMMENTS WAS PRODUCED WITH ENOUGH GRACE BUT NO HARDS FEELINGS I HOPE AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL, EVEN EVERYONE ON THIS BLOG.
Joseph..
First.. I’m going to say.. I feel your pain.. I’ve had the same emotions and pain…many of us have…. IT HURTS TO BE SINGLE WHEN YOU WANT A GODLY RELATIONSHIP SO BADLY YOU CAN’T BREATHE…But,..who says it’s God’s fault you’re single? Or that your wife cheated on you? Or that the world is full of people who don’t understand how to do what we were commanded by our Lord to do “Love one another, even as I have loved you”? Or understand that we could solve so much of our issues if we would just stop and learn HIM and do relationships based on God’s word and principles?…TRUE REAL GODLY RELATIONSHIP of any kind.. spousal, family, friendship, business, etc….. that’s what it takes for our world to be better for us ..PERIOD..and it’s the human race’s fault we don’t do it.. NOT God’s.. HE certainly did his part to make sure we have access to his word didn’t he? Think before you answer .. because people have died to get his to word to other people.. Key is .. we need to get his Word to the world but we also need to show HIS LOVE to the world and EACH OTHER.. “be the light to the world”.
Taking your hurts and negative emotions into the next “try” at a relationship won’t help that new relationship any.. of course it wil fail..or help you as a person.. stop and forgive the ones who don’t know better.. stop and forgive yourself for your part in that failed relationship…. cause NO ONE is perfect.. it takes TWO,, and start seeking God’s healing for your hurts and ask him what YOU need to work on in yourself to become the man HE desires you to be.. because He also said.. “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you.” And you’re single anyway…so why not be the best “Joseph” you can be and let that shine out to the world to hopefully draw that special one to you??? Couldn’t hurt.. cause if you met someone with that negativity you’ve expressed… coming outfrom them and their hurts.. would you want to build a relationship with them?? or would you run for the hills??
Once again, my contribution to this thread seems to have gotten lost in the e-mail transaction, so I’d just like to reiterate that I can totally sympathize with people like Joseph. As I’ve said before, I’m a 33-year-old virgin who’s been praying and hoping for God to bring me a godly, attractive mate before my days are through–and jusging by current events, my/our days could be through sooner than later. The thing is, I don’t want children. Let’s make an honest effort to pray for each other in these tumultuous and sometimes lonely endtimes. God bless and keep us all! ;o)
Dear Jaycee,
We don’t have to care what is the world’s opinion related to marriage and how they are arranging to get married. Because „For it is impossible [to restore and bring again to repentance] those who have been once for all enlightened, who have consciously tasted the heavenly gift and have become sharers of the Holy Spirit” Hebrews 6,4 We know that waiting for blessings is worthy. Who cannot wait, other “possibilities” can come up in the way, but this is not the true- as in Abraham’s life, Isaac was the promised son, and not Ismael. Best wishes, shalom
To Joseph: (sorry for longness)
You make very sad the Holy Spirit, if you continue to say such things as „ I am sure that God is certainly punishing? – do you really know God’s nature? Man, your sins are forgiven, you are saved, you became a child of God, then do you think your Father’ will in Heaven to punish you? He promises us: What eye has not seen and ear has not heard and has not entered into the heart of man, [all that] God has prepared (made and keeps ready) for those who love Him [[e]who hold Him in affectionate reverence, promptly obeying Him and gratefully recognizing the benefits He has bestowed] 1Cor2,9 and “But without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would come near to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him” Hebrews11,7 He loves us, bless us not punishes us! You wrote: “It is very amazing how God can be very good to certain people and not people like us” But God is on an opposite opinion: “Most certainly and thoroughly I now perceive and understand that God shows no partiality and is no respecter of persons” Acts 10, 34
Do you really believe what Scripture says?
You know true happiness and satisfaction comes just from the Lord. You should put God to the first place in your heart, because just He is worthy for it. Your happiness should not have depend on people. You know in the book of Daniel what Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego said: If our God Whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image which you have set up! Daniel 3,17-18
This is the attitude we should possess, because for that faith God’s supernatural power can encroach: „ Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him; I will set him on high, because he knows and understands My name [has a personal knowledge of My mercy, love, and kindness—trusts and relies on Me, knowing I will never forsake him, no, never” Psalm91,14
Dear Joseph, seek God with a heart full of thanksgiving for all the things you have received already from Him, go into His presence with a humble heart, He knows only the intentions of the heart. He lifts up those who are humble and obeying His Word. Come back into your first love. “But now ask and keep on asking and you will receive, so that your joy (gladness, delight) may be full and complete. At that time you will ask (pray) in My Name; and I am not saying that I will ask the Father on your behalf” John16,24.26 “For this reason I am telling you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe (trust and be confident) that it is granted to you, and you will [get it].” Mark11, 24 Ask in Jesus Name, believe that you HAVE what you asked in that very moment, and He is mighty and able and willing to give you! I wish you all best for your life. Shalom!
Joseph,
I feel you on a lot what you said. I understand your pain to the fullest and I can relate. But what gives you the stones to call God(the Most Holy, All Powerful, Most Gracious, Merciful, Awesome, Most Righteous, Heavenly Father, who sent His only begotten son to the cross for ours sins) evil? And then had the nerve to end it with an “Amen”. Seriously? To say that on a post for the whole world to read makes you evil. But like I said, I understand your pain, and I know you are probably just frustrated. But if you are a real christian, you wouldn’t have posted that blasphemous remark. I hope you come to your senses before you go to sleep and repent. If you really knew God and His Word, you wouldn’t dare call Him evil.
[Comment removed.]
Jaycee, I don’t agree that being Christ-like means being Christ-identical. If that were the case how could any woman be “Christ-like” without changing her gender? How could anyone claim to be a Christian and live past age 33 etc etc.
The dictionary definition of Christian is:
1. of, pertaining to, or derived from Jesus Christ or His teachings: a Christian faith.
2. of, pertaining to, believing in, or belonging to the religion based on the teachings of Jesus Christ: Spain is a Christian country.
3. of or pertaining to Christians: many Christian deaths in the Crusades.
4. exhibiting a spirit proper to a follower of Jesus Christ; Christlike: She displayed true Christian charity.
But the definition of the word Christian is to be Christ like – be like Jesus Christ who never married.
Hello: My name is Lisa Guzman, I wanted to share a wonderful article I found online about (How to Deal with Loneliness as a Single Person) and how sometimes we can confuse the two. I thought this would be encouraging to share. I pray that the Lord would give you insight on the difference with being alone and feeling alone. I believe singleness is a choice and it can change suddenly taking the steps through prayer and Gods guidance.
Be Encouraged Today!! Love Lisa Guzman
Article: How to deal with Lonliness as a single person:
In our society we have confused the meaning of being alone with feeling alone. Many people have slipped in depression because they feel isolated and alone. The key is to not allow this feeling of loneliness overtake you. It’s okay to be alone and not feel alone. The difference is night and day and you will live a much healthier and balanced life.
Step1: Understand that every person will at some point in their life expereince the feeling of loneliness. You do shoulder this by yourself. The good news is that you can deal with loneliness and live contently while being single.
Step2: There is a difference between being alone and feeling alone (lonely). Humans have a natural need to live in community and interdepedence with other people. We need each other. However, being alone simply means no one is around me right now. this can change at any moment.
Step3: Loneliness is basically and foremost a feeling. You can be in a crowded room and still feel lonely but you are not alone. Loneliness is does not neccessarily describe being alone, but rather describes the pain that some experience while being alone.
Step4: You cannot choose if someone will be around you at a given moment but you can choose how you will respond to being alone. This is not an accusation of weakness for feeling lonely at times. What is being addressed is how we should (and should expect) to live on a daily basis.
Step5: Many Single people equate loneliness with singleness as if they just fit together. They do not! Singleness is a time of taking care of you and adding value to your life. This will help you to be a contributor to your relationship once you are attached as oppose to just receiving.
Step6: As a single person, get focused on your purpose, your life’s mission. Don’t know what that is… Take time to find out and map a specific course toward that goal. Hang around people with similar goals and interest.
Step7: Learn to enjoy your own company. Since most of your single life will be with you. Learn to enjoy who you are. This will also, make you more enjoyable when you are around others. This does not mean become a hermit or avoid people. Remember we do need each other.
Jaycee,
Sounds like you need to stop hanging with them and find you some christain friends. I don’t know if your are saved or not, but if you are, why are you listening to their unsaved advice?
Dear Joseph,
Love is a legitimate need and I hope that you do find that special right person that God has for you! I can imagine that it would be pretty trying these days in finding someone. But there must always be hope, right? Have you ever considered trying to meet Christian singles in your area online? One dating site (E-Harmony) is where two of my friends found their spouses! It is kind of crazy that this can happen and that God can use online dating as a medium to meet other people. I am not sure what you think about it (or if you have already tried it out) but you can check it out here. It’s very understandable how this waiting period for you is especially hurtful for you seeing that you have experienced marriage before. I am so sorry that you had to go through this loss. I pray that God would mend your heart where it is hurting so that in waiting you won’t be in pain. God Bless You.
[This comment has been removed. Tyrone, You wrote that "I can not tolerate how you control certain things being said, not said on this forum." That is, however, part of my job so I will continue to curate the conversation here. If you find that this is distasteful, there is a whole, wide internet to choose from and I am confident that you will find a conversation more suited to the things you'd like to say. - Claire]
I never hear my friends who practice other religions complain about not finding spouses. They are all married with families. A friend mentioned to me that maybe the reason so many Christians have a hard time finding spouses is because they follow the teachings of Jesus who was never married and did not have any children. Could this be possible???
all i ever want out of LIFE, is for GOD to make me meet the RIGHT WOMAN, for a STRAIGHT MAN like me. since i am in my late fifties, it is VERY HARD finding that special woman to meet now. and after being MARRIED at one time, being alone and single now sure HURTS.
Dear Julie, and maybe others: God exactly made a promise for us to have a spouse. In
Gen2,18 stands: Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him. in 23-24: Then Adam said, This [creature] is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man.
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Every godly man recognises who is taken out of him and will recognise who is his flesh and bone! And the Lord said He will make! I think this is the promise. He already known us before the creation of the world. Because He has a plan for each of us’ life, He took care concerning marriage. Trust in Him. He wants good for us. Seek His land in the first place in your life, and everything will be given to you because of His loving care.
yup yup TMan!!
“Here is a verse in my understanding, which proves we can receive a promise of a spouse and have that promise fulfilled;
Matthew:7:7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”
Now that’s talking!! :)
Here is a verse in my understanding, which proves we can receive a promise of a spouse and have that promise fulfilled;
Matthew:7:7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.
I think let’s not ask anyone an opinion unless we ask a ten year old child if that verse can include seeking a Godly partner.
In addition to that;
Hosea 4:14 “I will not punish your daughters when they commit harlotry,
Nor your brides when they commit adultery;
For the men themselves go apart with harlots,
And offer sacrifices with a ritual harlot.[a]
Therefore people who do not understand will be trampled.
In the Word given by the Lord to Hosea the Prophet we see God acknowledges a destined “bride” and not just a wife. It speaks of how wirthin the partnership both are going astray as a result of one partner’s sin, yet God forgives.
So if Brides were going astray nd being repelled by sin back then, the same is happening today. However, vice versa occurs also.
Genesis 2:2325 And Adam said:
“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
The word used for “one” is “echad” UNITED.
God destined UNITED people He would see as ONE FLESH.
How can anyone not say a partner is not destined? If half the flesh is screaming for the other half, is that not proof that we are called to a UNITED FLESH!?
And just to clarify ..so I don’t get slammed here for saying something I’m not.. I do not believe God is punishing us for anything in our singleness..the reasons for our singleness are as diverse as we all are… I do believe that WE are to focus our attention on HIM and make life changes as HE points out things in our lives that do not line up with HIS word and HIS ways. I also believe that Jesus heals and if we let him, he will walk us through our lives and his love can transform us. I believe it is our job to seek a true and real relationship with him and that he will meet us where we are and guide us to where we are going in him. Whatever that happens to mean for us as individuals in Christ.
I’ve been searching for verses that say specifically that God promises us a spouse… I’ve come up empty so far.. BUT .. as I was asking God to show me his word regarding a spouse… I had the thought (mine or his??)that maybe a spouse is one of those promises God hides because it is such a valuable treasure for us.. something to seek out…mind you.. not just any spouse.. not the ones we use as a substitute for that GOD CHOSEN SPOUSE that I believe he has for each and every one of us.. so I started meditating on a few thoughts.. As I said in other posts… the negative emotions and thoughts about God and ourselves that we go through when we are desiring a true, loving, faithful spouse and don’t seem to be able to find one are so toxic to us and others… just read some of the posts in this thread…that can’t be God’s plan for us.. just can’t .. it doesn’t line up with everything we know about a loving God.. If God is Love..it isn’t loving.. so maybe it’s from “darkness” and I am not saying we’re sinners or we don’t deserve something or any sentiment like that.. so don’t read into it.. I’m saying that maybe it’s one of the things wrong in our world.. cause we do live in an ungodly world.. and I don’t know how long it takes to get answers to prayers or why it isn’t easy.. but here’s some verses that I think may hide some of the blessings we look for in our lives that aren’t specifically spelled out with our individual circumstances or names on them..
Look them up.. and I’m sure you can find many more…
Isaiah 54 :17
No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment YOU shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their righteousness is from Me,” Says the LORD.
Genesis 50:20
As for you, you thought evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring about that many people should be kept alive, as they are this day.
1 Corinthians 13:2
And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
Deuteronomy 28:
If you fully obey the LORD your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. 2 All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God:
3 You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.
4 The FRUIT OF YOUR WOMB WILL BE BLESSED, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock—the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.
5 Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.
6 You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out.
7 The LORD will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven.
8 The LORD will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to. The LORD your God will bless you in the land he is giving you.
9 The LORD will establish you as his holy people, as he promised you on oath, if you keep the commands of the LORD your God and walk in obedience to him. 10 Then all the peoples on earth will see that you are called by the name of the LORD, and they will fear you. 11 The LORD will grant you abundant prosperity—in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your ground—in the land he swore to your ancestors to give you.
12 The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to BLESS ALL THE WORK OF YOUR HANDS. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none.
13 The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. 14 Do not turn aside from any of the commands I give you today, to the right or to the left, following other gods and serving them.
If you’ve felt like God thinks you aren’t righteous enough to be fully blessed with ALL GOOD BLESSINGS FROM THE FATHER… you’re wrong.. because the Bible says in several places that God sees you through the filter or image of Jesus and Jesus definitely deserves all Good and Godly gifts and he has them.. since we’re in him .. we have them… that verse above from 1 Corinthians says that our righteousness is from HIM… so that expells that thought or condemnation… don’t accept that lie. God says he will bless the fruit of your womb and he doesn’t desire birth out of wedlock… so that’s marriage, right? He promises blessings coming in and going out.. that’s all activity? He says he blesses everything you put your hand to.. means just that.. everything.
So again.. relationship with HIM is first.. then practicing relationship with everything and everyone else based on his word .. LOVE ONE ANOTHER EVEN AS I HAVE LOVED YOU… God loves you without letting you violate his principles .. so we can love someone without letting them be less than godly towards us.. cause he wouldn’t be that way.. right? That eliminates a lot of “bad relationships” we’ve all gone through and helps us to recognize that we aren’t to suffer with failures, or let our history defeat us.. because your history may be true, it’s factual, it is real and it happened.. but it isn’t THE TRUTH. Jesus can come into that history and heal those hurts make us whole and as we allow his love to transform us…our light and joy in him just may attract that the things in life we all desire.
So here’s a challenge… Does God promise us a spouse in HIS WORD?? Can anyone find a verse that answers that question directly? Let’s work together to find those promises and put him in rememberance of them. Just like he said we should do when we ask with all prayer and supplications with thanksgiving..
I am praying for a wife, I can get a woman, but I am either too shy, or the woman is not for me. I do believe the Lord has a wife and children for me, He will bless me with them in His own Good time.
I have never told anyone about this, but I am waiting, it does get a bit discouraging at time, but I believe the Lord will bless me, I have definitely been seeing His blessings/hand and whenever I’ve needed something He has never let me down and answered with that that I needed.
Do not give up, the Lord never changes, He is the same, Yesterday, Today and Forevermore.
Just a note – I am out of the office for the next couple of days. Given the level of comments happening on this article lately I don’t want to leave it unattended so I am closing the comments for now. I will reopen them when I’m back in the office and able to keep an eye on them.
This comment has been removed. T.Man – I wondered if perhaps I had come across you under another name. I have removed this comment because now you’re not listening, you’re just repeating the same thing over and over and yelling to boot. I’ve already commented on your opinion about the “Jezebel spirit”, we’re not having that conversation again.
If the goal of this conversation was to make me count the blessings of being single, it’s accomplished that. You know what? I quit. Looking for a mate sucks, and it’s not mandatory. Going to work is mandatory. Paying my bills is mandatory. Going to church is mandatory if I don’t want God to send me to hell.
Attending Christian singles events or going on bad dates is NOT mandatory – so I’m not going to do it anymore. Some things are less enjoyable than staying at home watching Law & Order reruns.
Then what are you looking for Crispen? What is it that you want? Perhaps you’re not looking for a relationship at all you’d rather hold on to your anger.
Clair,
Regardless if that’s how it sounded to you, I never said a woman had to be a virgin in order for me to marry her. You putting words in my mouth
Thanks Compassionate, your post was a welcome relief like a calm in the midst of a little storm. Thou I am more in favour of the Feminist movement cuz of the relief it bought to many oppressed women, thanks for your comment.
Have a great day
thanks Compassionate for that post. It got me thinking even thou you feel no way about the women’s movement and I am greatful that it happened cuz I had no choice but to study it as a module, your post felt like peace in the midst, it bought balance.
Have a grea day sister
I feel led to chime in here, regarding just a few things. Regarding the Jezebel spirit – don’t be fooled that this is a spirit only among or affecting earthly biological female-women. Males have souls(female) as well and any word concerning the ‘woman’ or ‘women’ are also addressing biological males-men. Jesus promised that the He (WORD) came to bring division and the Word has done so. He was also described as the stumbling block to the Jew (heart) and we can see how easy it is to trip in misunderstanding. If believers could see and understand to not apply ‘women’ and ‘men’ biblical references to the ‘anatomical earthly references’ we’d all get along so much better.
Also, I have to point out anytime a person focuses on the external/outward – on the other person/gender – they are only seeing half of the picture. I am not suggesting to refocus blame on ourselves necessarily, but it is not our job to point out to others their short-comings (how they are not living up to the image AND likeness of Christ). Instead we ought to encourage others to put their eyes back on Him. It’s not so easy when the other person is your spouse, but then and there is where you have the opportunity to grow. If you are beholding all others who are not your spouse, then you are just wasting your time and energy. I could react to the many inferences about women in these prior posts. I am not a lover of the womens movement, but I have also never had to fight tooth and nail for the freedoms I have. I don’t think it has served women 100%, but neither does oppression, abuse or slavery. So there are always many angles to consider in any discussion or topic, but if we continue to look up – we will always get our bearings about us again.
O.K Crispen, I read your comment to T.Man and now I get ya, I think. First off, if you are not talking about all women, make it known yea, secondly, I have lost count how many men that have an unhealthy attitude or belief about women due to their last or last several partners. Yet, I am left thinking and battling my brains of how many women I know that is like that, none so far, only those I read about.
Just do not take it out on the next woman you get, it’s not her fault remember and before you go there, you need in my opinion, Christian counselling. Cuz your last girl, really hurt u and I am really sorry to hear that; how you was lovely to her and she turned her back on you but you have Christ and he will never leave you or forsake you ever and there are so many nice women out there just don’t knock us with your mouth to a point where they would be put off you. Before I had my man, I said to myself, I am going to work on me, my behaviour, my attitude, my health and my finance before he comes cuz he will be a great wonderful man and I wanted to be worthy of such a man. The problem was, he came too quick when I was not looking, not interested in a man. I wanted to wait like a year to a year and a few months so I am battling getting my self to such a place with the help of God. And it could destroy our relationship cuz im discovering that he too had a few issues but he is so nice and wonderful but he won’t address them cuz he needs to overcome them cuz it kind a gets in the way of the beautiful relationship we have.
What do you suggest I do Crispen? Should I be compliant and obedient? Should I be as T.Man suggest a woman should be or should I in love, discuss it? AND AT TIMES, I CAN BE FIRM, CUZ I DON’T PUSSY FOOT ABOUT. I will not marry a man anyhow and that is the trouble with many men and even women, we want to go find a partner as we are instead of taking stock and looking at what we can bring to the table; and if it’s healthy. A relationship will never be perfect but, it can have the minimal mess if we address certain things that need urgent addressing like he is so so so nice and friendly and caring but at the same time, he is trapped as a boy in a man’s body thanks to his brutal father and at first i thought he did not really honour or value his mum who loves him cuz she did not tell him that his brutal father was not his real dad and both of them died and his younger brother and he just lost it for 5 years. He never got the nurturing or love from his dad and so he is lacking in things – even simple things he should know and I show him a lot of love but its not enough. He wants me to be by his side even thou he believes in God, I feel sometimes he wants me to be a God to him and I will not put up with it thou I sympathise with him. Why am I saying all this, its because, we want a partner, but are we really ready. We want to be loved, but are we capable of loving back. I said to him, you and I are not ready for marriage yet until we sort ourselves out properly so that we will not overstep the mark or abuse one another. We won’t be perfect but if we have destructive behaviour that can really cause another harm, then we need to sort it out first – both male and female.
Although your views of women are off, you seem like a very loving person when you have someone to love and I pray to God, you will be at a place and will get a great wife one day.
God bless
Crispen, On July 21st, long before I made any comments about how a woman’s body is or is not affected by sex you wrote, “What I don’t understand is why so many christian women waste their bodies on godless men. They give them all of themselves until that godless man use them up. What’s sad is that they know they are sinning by being with this guy. But for some twisted reason they let this man use and abuse them. Just seem like so many christian women are hypocrites. They mess around and waste their youth away on selfish ungodly men. Then after they are damaged goods, they what a good christian man to take the ungodly mans leftovers.” To me this sounded like you were looking for a woman who had not had sex. If you are not looking for a virgin then I have absolutely no idea what kind of “not-virgin but not too much sex either” standard you are setting. You speak of woman’s bodies being used goods when they’ve had sex and you are in the same condition yourself. There is no logic in this.
T.Man, good afternoon.
I understand your fear of women having a mind of their own and the ability to make decisions and to think for themselves. It was not always the case as in times past; women were viewed as less than animals or equal to them. Yet God gave man and women dominion; not just man so songs like “ it is a man’s world,” goes right out the window right. So yea, I feel no way refuting what you are saying cuz you sound like your brother, Crispen; and we do not have to believe it, now do we? We can think for ourselves, or is that the real problem. And I have met a lot of self righteous males and females o.k, its not just in women. AND IF a man keeps hanging in the gallows has you so put it, it is his fault; especially if he is a Christian, who told him to view women above Christ, cuz that is what it comes down too. HE IS ABLE TO DO EXCEEDINGLY ABOVE ALL THAT WE CAN EVER ASK OR THINK, RIGHT?
It is obvious you prefer a woman to shut up or put up, and agree with every word a man says, or maybe I am wrong. , you say and I quote, “there are just too many women who are so bent on being attractive to all men,” trust me T. Man, that applies for men too, or where have you been. And we are not called to have sexual relations with them but sometimes things happen, but as for a lot of Christian men, including Christian married men, as a saved believer, they have dipped their thing in many pies trust me. We are aware too that there are a lot of dysfunctional women who love to control, we are not naive to that as you may think; but if the subject of new age Jezebel does not come up, then why discuss it? You also said and I quote, “VERY RARELY do you come across a LOVING, COMPASSIONATE, SELFLESS, WARM, WISE women. You don;t find it anymore.” Errrrrm, are you suggesting that women should be like this and not men too. The same way a man can be put off whining women is the same way we can be put of whining men who have low opinion of women.
First off, God never created a woman to subject her self to a beast or an unloving man. Read proverbs and find the scripture that God describes wisdom like a woman, if a man is committed and loves and embraces a woman, he will get his hearts desires from her. The truth of the matter is, most Christian men have failed to understand their proper role as a husband or a man and failed to understand and appreciate the woman’s role within a marriage. Sadly to say too that many women failed on that point too.
Take this for what it is worth.
1. God created a man to enjoy first his presence
2. He then gave him a job to do with instruction
3. He created the woman after
So God formed the man but he took a rib when he fell asleep and built the woman cuz everything that Adam had within him that he needed, was of no use to him inside of him and God took alot of that and created the woman. She is my equal, my guide. So as well as a woman can look to her husband for support and advice, a man should do the same, but many are so arrogant, they think, I should not listen to a woman or she should not guide me. Yes, men are the head of the home and a wife will happily follow him if he is led by Christ; and what was Christ like, humble, loving, meek, lowly, understanding very graceful, merciful. He was and still is good. What woman would not submit to that. Only a foolish woman would not but lets face it, do you T.Man, see that often. I understand thou it is a process to become and so if the wife sees her husband submitting to Christ and trying, she should appreciate by all means. She should have patience as long as she is not in any danger as God hates putting away but he did when men were violent to women. Cuz God loves women too so he put away for her sake.
I thank God that the First Wave Feminist Movement (FWFM) which was really about protecting women from violent men and for women to own their own homes and for laws to change so that they can vote and get equal pay, was necessary. Do you T.Man, know the history of what we went through? If you did, then the FWFM was necessary, not to be like Jezebel but for survival. Before I go, just so you know, we are not saying that we are God over men, but we are not stupid and will submit to any tom dick or harry or any words that is not befitting a Royal Godly King like yourself. We like to prove the words, just like Christ said and we don’t need a man to worship God, for we worship him in spirit and in truth and we are not going to praise a man that says anything just to be compliant and to be liked by men cuz we have a saviour that loves us and we are not terrified by the objections of a man towards our free speech. And most importantly, we do love men, otherwise we would not be on here wanting to marry them, but we are not soft as ye all think; if we do not agree with something, we don’t agree.
(NOW DON’T SHOOT ME DOWN.)
God bless and peace
Clair,
I’m sorry to poke holes in your theory about me, but I never said at any time that I’m only what or deserve a virgin. I only use that analogy because you said a woman’s body isn’t effected by sex. How can I go before holy God and demand a virgin when I’m not? C’mon. Second, I felt the same way before I met my ex so she has nothing to do wit how I see things. She just added to the fire. Third, I’ve never gotten of topic. I just answer to responses toward me.
WOW… I haven’t responded to posts since a few posts after my original post because I am not sure if I wasn’t clear enough (I don’t always express myself well and it was late and I was tired??) but basically what I was trying to say in my post was that I could relate and understand to the negative emotions people in previous posts that I had read were feeling because I’ve felt them at times as well AND that what I asked myself was the basic question of “Does God exist and truly care about MY daily existence?” It was a rhetorical question and I then expounded on the fact that my answer is a definite YES and that I’ve seen him work in my physical world to provide for various needs. So why wouldn’t he care enough to provide that direction and divine appointment for me to meet my GOD CHOSEN HUSBAND?? So here’s another way to ask the main question of this thread.. intead of “Does God promise you a spouse?” maybe we could ask “Why wouldn’t he?” ALL GOOD GIFTS COME FROM THE FATHER and YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER LOVES TO GIVE GOOD GIFTS TO HIS CHILDREN…The other portion of my posts have discussed the concept that I think needs to be brought back into this conversation… RELATIONSHIP!! This is what God has been walking me through in my healing and learning process with him. RELATIONSHIP!! First and foremost with HIM and then with everyone and everything else.. Think about this entire thread of conversation and it gets down to LOVE ONE ANOTHER EVEN AS I HAVE LOVED YOU..
So, responding to the accusatory comments on gender differences and hurts related to our pasts… maybe we ALL need to place a deep level of focus on our relationship with God and others and watch the world become a safer, more loving, gentler and easier place for both genders to dwell in peacefully and maybe.. just maybe a little more harmoniously.
Crispen,
Here, finally, we get to the real issue. I am sorry to hear that you had your heartbroken. I would not wish that pain on anyone. You are upset with your ex-girlfriend because “She dumped me then ran to eharmony.” And yet you did exactly the same thing – you went straight to eHarmony. I wonder what you expected her to do? Often when you break up with someone, you starting looking for someone new. I have no idea what your ex was or was not thinking, but sometimes when a person ends a relationship over something trivial it’s actually something else altogether that was the real problem. The trivial thing just provided an opportunity to pull the trigger on the relationship.
You seem surprised by the reaction that you’re getting from women. If you keep getting an unwanted reaction it might be time to change your approach. I do not have the time to attempt to change your view of women. As I said to T. Man, there are wonderful women in the world (there are wonderful men too). If you keep meeting the same kind of women, perhaps you need to find a different approach?
In your earlier comments it seemed as if you were saying that men are not affected by having sex the same way that women are. You want a virgin to marry, but do not have your own virginity to offer in return. I can assure you that men ARE affected by having sex with partners other than their wife. God always intended sex to be sacred, something set apart and shared between spouses. I wonder if part of the reason you keep getting disappointed with women is because you are seeking out a virgin to marry, but having sex in the process. That’s a little like trying to meet a vegetarian by hanging out a steakhouse. You speak of hypocrisy, I would strongly encourage you to consider your own views on sex. Perhaps it is your double standard, and not the evils of women that is causing your frustration.
T. Man,
I have no idea why you keep referring to me deleting your comments. I have gone back through the last 100 moderated comments and there are none from you. Unless you posted under a different username or IP address I genuinely do not know what you are talking about.
I see from your IP address that you are not from North America, so perhaps you are not familiar with a movie called The Princess Bride but I could not help but think of it as I read your comment. There is a very famous line in the movie where one character says to another, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” Over and over in your comment you protest that you are not generalizing, however when you use the words “many women” you are generalizing, whether you mean to or not. If you said “some women” or “a few women” or “some of the women I have met” or other conditional terms, THEN you would not be generalizing. BUt you cannot generalize and then undo it by saying “I’m not generalizing”. That’s like when someone says, “I don’t like your hat. No offence.” It doesn’t work there either.
You seem to very upset by this idea of Jezebel that you see taking over the world. I am not going to step into that conversation because, truly, attempting to parse out the argument would require more coffee than I have had this morning. If you are unhappy with the women you are meeting you need to find some better women. I promise you that we are out there. As I mentioned to another commenter recently, I have seen women in my community buy undergarments for girls in Uganda in order to keep them in school. I have seen women band together to nurse an infant whose mother died. I know women who feed the hungry, who rescue those trapped in sexual slavery. You speak as if there are no women left in the world who understand sacrificial love and I am genuinely sad for you that you have not had a chance to meet these women.
If you knew me you would know that I take the conversations on this site very seriously and that it takes quite a bit to get to me delete a comment. One thing that WILL get a comment deleted fairly quickly is when someone takes the conversation way off topic. I feel that that is what is happening here, both with you and with Crispen. This is where this topic ends. Any further comments about Jezebel or women’s lack of sacrificial love in general will be deleted.
Clair,
No, I’m not. Are you?
T. Man,
Amen, brotha. Amen. Powerful words. The truth hurts. I was under the impression that most of the men on here have jelly backs. Seem like they just cater to the women. Sometimes I think they are women pretending to be men.
You touched on a lot of things. Especially about women being so defensive. Did you notice that I never said ALL women? But for some reason every woman (even Clair) keep saying I’m wrong and all women aint that way.
I’m gonna add one thing to your list, T. Man., and that’s hypocrisy. Women are the biggest hypocrites in the world. My last girlfriend, whom I loved so much..still do, dumped me like last weeks garbage for something petty. A few years ago, she was sick and decided to drink a whole bottle of night quill. She don’t drink so she was really twisted. She called me and she a whole lot of things I didn’t know that was in her. She is a christain so a lot what she said shocked me. She even said how bad she wanted a guy(not me, but any guy) to put his “you know what” in her mouth. I never told her about it. Not even my friends. To this day she has no idea that she said that. I never judge her or talked bad about her or looked down on her because I loved her. About a few months ago, I called her a pet name that she was displeased with. So displeased that she broke up with me. Even told me that all her friends said she was over reacting. She said she know she was too but for some reason she couldn’t forgive me. A few weeks later after that, I decided to try eharmony. And guess what? I got matched with her! She dumped me then ran to eharmony. Here’s the killer part; she had the nerve to say on her profile that she’s looking for a man who knows how to forgive her of her mistakes because she knows she aint perfect and that she is willing to forgive a man of his mistakes because he isn’t perfect either, and true love is about forgiveness. What a freaking HYPOCRITE!!!
I’m curious Crispen, are you a virgin yourself or do your standards only apply to women?
Hi Crispen
In my response to what you said about “qualities” in women, and pains, and what the response has been to you, I am going to be very neutral however as a man that is going to be difficult.
First, I appreciate women for what God created them to be and whether man or woman, I am required by Jesus to love all unconditionally, without being biased, and also I need to be called to love her as Christ loves the Church. That’s great. Women can very easily say that God’s Bible is sexist, but I also do not see the Bible exhorting women to love their men as if the Church is required to love Christ!
It says in His Word that the “conduct of a woman” can change a man. Wow! That’s amazing. As a man, I can tell you, that if there is ANYTHING in a woman that can change me, it will be if she can TAP INTO her ability to Love me with the Love of God. After all, a gentle voice can break the bone.
There are many women (please do not shoot me down ladies for being perceived as generalizing) in this world who don’t believe men have the same hearts as women. They think because we are rough and tough, that we do not have as greater loving and soft hearts as women do. Because of this deception, they think men only need a “lesser standard” of love. Now, ladies, I am not generalising. Please do not shoot me down.
There seems to be this misconception in many women (once again, not generalising)that a man is a) not as righteous and “the beast” of the two sexes, b) the dedicated provider of ALL a women’s needs, and c) not in need of love. Just sex and food, like a dog. Amongst these women, they are very quick to bring up the faults of man (especially if they are all sitting together in a group), they speak bad of their men, their fathers and sons (witnessed it with my own mother and many more) and they seem to have this “submlime and proven theory” that they are just better than man, and can make decisions better on behalf of their men.
What a specific women on this forum is not understanding is that the above description almost certainly spells out CONTROL. That same woman will in many events manipulate and control, like for example, she will try and aggravate her man so that he gives in and “takes her out to calm her down and buy her that dress she always wanted”, or “let her go out with her friends for a weekend”, or “whatever”. I have had woman confess to me that they deliberately cause fghts with their partners to get a lot of what they want, even if it means using sex.
Ooh, wait a second, we see SELFISHNESS, we see CONTROL and we see MANIPULATION. Men also do it, but not as well as woman.
Now, I see this happening so much. Crispen, I see you are hurt and angry like I am. Seems a lot of men are “hurt and angry” and I also have to tell you Crispen that I am getting very upset at the usual answer from woman, “all woman are not the same you stupid man”.
Why do they think they always have to tell me that? Do they think I am dumb that they have to condescend to me? Or do they think they “know it all” that they have to “enlighten me”? Why it is that THEY ALL SAY THE SAME? And I guarantee you that every time I speak about it I clariffy my heart out that I AM NOT GENERALISING. No, they still respond, “not all women are the same”. So why do they do this? It can be possibly for two reasons; 1. They are defensive and as usual do not want to be classed with what a man deems to be unattractive, or 2. They are missing the whole point.
THEY ARE NOT GETTING THE POINT. Why? Many women can not fathom UNCONDITIONAL SELFLESS LOVE ANYMORE. They can not accept a man teaching about it, because after all, to those women (not all) it is impossible for a man to understand love more than a woman. To them men are these “rough and tough, emotionless, heartless sex starved and thriving animals”.
Now, I am not coming on here with a sexist answer. Many women can not recognise Jezebel. They do not know what it feels like to be manipulated by a soft, gentle, inviting, caring, touching and consoling woman, only to find out she just wants your bucks and a nest. Now all of a sudden to “these types” of women I could sound like a “heartless, selfish, no-providing, senseless man who is not a man because I do not bow down to every need of a woman.” Wait, I must be a chauvenistic pig to even suggest that a woman could have faults.
I am sorry, but there are too many women out there that want Mr. Perfect. I just witnessed a woman tell me that she dumped her boyfriend because he has hairs on his toes!” For crying out loud!!!!!!
Now, Claire, please don;t delete my post.
The Bible is CLEAR. The Bible refers to Jezebel. Jezebel is only interested in one thing. CONTROL! She wants to control what you do, what you say, what you think, what you believe. She is religious, she knows it all. She can not take correction because in her mind she is right.
There seems to be this underlying “underdstanding” amongst women about men, and how easy it is to manipulate a man.
What makes me so angry is that CHRISTIAN WOMEN NEVER TALK ABOUT IT. They never expose the wiles of a worldy woman, and I am also sorry to say, that sanctification in both man and woman is a process, a lifetime. A woman does not lose her worldy nature the second she gets saved. Like man, she needs to kill the deeds of the flesh through the Spirit.
If you go to a Christian woman with pain, bitterness and anger because of how woman has hurt a man (yes she can believe it or not) she always takes the “defensive” stance and VERY RARELY do you come across a LOVING, COMPASSIONATE, SELFLESS, WARM, WISE women. You don;t find it anymore.
All you get is either a woman is walking the catwalks with her glam, or some spiritual guru in the church that “knows all and condescends”. Those loving woman are married, and the singless are playing their options like a pack of cards.
Now, Claire Colvin, don’t block me like you usually do because God Himself has been showing me things and I have to tell you the end days holds an attack from Jezebel against Godly men and its been happening since the rise of feminism in the sixties. Its a real attack against the PRIEST AND HEAD of the family. Its an attack against unborn children. Its a woman pride that says a woman is God of man.
No, but these “women” would refute and invalidated everything I say because I fall into their “catagory”.
Why don’t Christian expose Jezebel or expose the wiles of worldy women?
No, I am not one who would expect “Ms. Perfect”. I will love her with ALL HER FAULTS because that is what uncinditonal love is all about. But so many women want that “Mr. Perfect”, even in the Church. Yes, worldy men want Ms. Perfect also.
Its all about UNCONDITIONAL SELFLESS AGAPE LOVE that is focused on GIVING and not receiving.
Unfortunately, there are just too many women who are so bent on being attractive to all men, that there seems to be this Goddess race, just as strong as the “arms race” and I wish for one second that ONE christian woman can actually VALIDATE the Truth that Jezebel has taken a serious stance amongst rightous women, but even the righteousness in a women is a righteousness come from God. Why is it that there are so many woman so silent on the wiles of women?
Now to bring this into perspective. THERE ARE MANY MEN FROM GOD WHO ARE SINGLE NOT BY GOD’S CHOICE, BUT BECAUSE OF THE CHOICE OF THEIR DESTINED WIVES, BECAUSE THEIR DESTINED WIVES ARE TOO BUSY TRYING TO GET ATTENTION FROM THE WORLD WHEN THEY SHOULD BE GETTING OT FROM GOD HIMSELF. So many women are throwing their destinies away because it is a “kick” to be desirable to all men.
A man will understand what I am saying, but most women will try to refute what I am saying because so many women are “defensive” when it comes to exposing even the smallest thing wrong, because after the saying goes, “there is no fury like that of a woman scorned”. Why? Its because women GENERALLY are more prone to SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS. Its the SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS and SELFISHNESS of women (bent on their own hurt, selfish needs) that keeps men hanging in the gallows with all their self-righteous theory, philosophy, and attitude.
ONCE AGAIN CLAIRE COLVIN, I AM NOT GENERALISING AND YOU ARE CALLED TO BE UNBIASED AND IMPARTIAL AND FAIR. I AM A MAN OF GOD AND IF YOU DELETE MY POST AGAIN YOU WILL DELETE GOD’S VOICE BECAUSE YES, HE CAN SPEAK THROUGH A MAN ALSO.
Kat,
What do you mean what would I do? I would do nothing because that’s my wife and if we have kids those would be my kids she gave birth to, not someone else’s. Its a big difference and you know it. If you made a sandwich and bought a soda for launch, what would you do? Would you throw the sandwich away after you take a few bites because your hands been all over it? Would you take a few sips of your soda then throw it away because your mouth been all on it? Why would I get rid of my wife? Quit being silly
Crispen – if you married a woman who was “pure enough” by your exalted standards (had never had sex & therefore obviously never had children) what would you do after 10 years of marriage and 2 or 3 kids? Her body would be changed in the ways you so eloquently describe. Any woman who married you would have to put up with your attitude.
Clair,
When I said a woman’s body, I was referring to a pacific part of the body. I was just trying to keep it PG. But let me illustrate a little better for you. If you take a warm apple pie and poke it several times with a hard salami, that pie will not be the same. No matter how much you doctor it up, it will not be like it was before it got all beat up. However, once you wipe off the salami with a paper towel, you can’t tell it has been poked inside a pie, even if it’s been inside a 1,000. Can you honestly tell me if you when to the bakery to buy an pie, and there was one that was perfect, untouched, unopened, and there was one where the seal on the box had been broken, it was sloppy, missing a slice, and someone poked their fingers all in it, you would choose the latter instead? Of course not.
God didn’t make men with seals, but He did make women with them. I know at lot of women are mad and think its unfair. It aint my fault that God made man and woman different. He made yall more sacred. That’s a great honor to have, but so many women wanna be fast and do whatever men do as if this is some kind of competition.
In some countries, after a marriage, the groom and the bride have sex right there at the ceremony with both families as witnesses to consecrate the marriage and also so the groom can verify that the seal on his bride hasn’t been broken. If it is, the marriage is undone because God made women sacred…apple pie
Oh it’s okay, God. You may not have promised me a spouse but I promise myself a spouse. Even though my wonderful husband died tragically a year ago, GUESS WHAT! I’m still young enough that I can marry again and I WILL marry again and it WILL BE to a man of substance. I will use my womanly wiles and flirt like crazy and I WILL get another husband. I, me, myself, I will get a husband.
Thank you. That helps a lot. It makes more sense. I guess I am not demanding a spouse. I have the desire to be with one. I have taken steps to meet men who has the qualities I desire. However, none has choose to love me.
I didn’t ask for the desire to be there. It is still there. I am not sure what am I suppose to do with it?
As I hope in God’s will either provide or remove the desire, I find myself get disappointed and confuse.
I understand a lot of this is not in my control. I also know I cannot make it happens on my own. I need Him to help me.
I don’t want the attention of anyone else but the one who he knows would say yes to me and I would say yes to.
And if He doesn’t intend for me to have one. I simply ask for the desire to go away.
I need help process through this. It is so hard to understand and know what to do and think of it.
To CRISPEN, As I read through your comments I was saddened to see that you see to have such a low opinion of women. I do not know what has happened to you to bring you to these conclusions, but I can assure you that you are incorrect. There are plenty of good, Christian women who do know waste themselves and their bodies on godless men and then expect Christian men to be satisfied with the leftovers. It may be that you are having a hard time finding them, but trust me, we’re out there.
I have no idea what you mean by “And a man’s body don’t get physically worn out by sex and kids like a woman’s body does.” I’m not sure which biology textbooks you’ve been reading, but women’s bodies do not get “worn out” by sex. There is no finite number of times a woman can have sex, no limit on how much sex she can have. Yes, there are changes in a woman’s body when she goes through pregnancy and childbirth but I know plenty of women who get back into fantastic shape after having kids.
It sounds like you’ve had a very specific set of experiences that have lead to your current beliefs about women. I wonder if your opinion of women makes it hard to see a good woman when she’s right there in front of you? In your comments it sounds like you feel like a victim, like things have been done to you that have no control over. I do not know if you are a victim, but I do know that only you can choose how you will act going forward. If you expect women to act a certain way you’ll be more likely to interpret their actions that way. There are good women out there but it’s going to be hard to find them if you expect them to treat you so poorly.