10 Steps Towards Respecting Your Husband (Even When You Don’t Feel Like It)
With downcast eyes, Kathryn confided, “I have a hard time respecting my husband. I want to be obedient to God’s command, but I don’t want to be dishonest to my feelings.”
God doesn’t command a wife to feel respectful toward her husband. She is to be respectful. Her responsibility is to obey God; not her feelings.
A wise woman once told me, “If you want a truly fine husband, respect him at the level at which you want him to reach. A man will usually not rise above the level at which his wife 
respects him.” This is a general principle, not a hard and fast rule because God does not put accountability or responsibility for a man’s character on his wife. Nevertheless, strong evidence indicates a woman holds great power to make or break a man. In his book His Needs, Her Needs,
Stephen Baldwin’s story: Successful Hollywood badboy actor
Most famous & successful man ever?: Who was Jesus Christ?
Something in a man needs the respect of his wife. He thrives and grows toward godliness when his need is fulfilled. This explains why God emphatically says, “The wife must see to it that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33 NASB).
10 Steps Towards Respecting Your Husband
- Pray for him daily and trust God to answer your requests.
- Pray for his well-being, wisdom, protection, blessings, guidance, knowledge, spiritual maturity, success, purity, strength in temptation, etc.
- Look for God’s answers to your prayers.
- Thank God for working in your family.
- Thank God for your husband.
- Pray for your attitude.
- Remember that God has put your husband in a position of leadership, and He will lead you through your husband.
- Make a list of your husband’s qualities that you appreciate. Review and add to your list regularly.
- Tell your husband what you appreciate about him. Tell others what you appreciate about him.
- Don’t criticize your husband to others – especially your children.
- Look for the positive side of things that you may find irritating. If you find it boring when he spends time telling you about his bad day, remember that at least he is talking to you, spending time with you, sharing his concerns with you, bringing you into his confidence, and giving you the chance to be an encourager and helper.
- Respond to his loving advances with enthusiasm.
- If you are concerned about a decision your husband has made, ask him the following:
- “I’m confused about _________. Can you explain it to me?”
- “Can we talk about _____? I feel uncomfortable about ______.”
- Don’t ask: “WHY in the world would you do it that way?” or ask “Why?” in any way that implies you think he is foolish.
- Respect his likes and dislikes. If he likes a particular food, make a point of serving that regularly. If he hates the color purple, don’t wear purple in his presence. If he likes you to wear perfume, do it.
- If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about your husband, stop and choose to think of something else – especially things from your positive quality list.
Remember, God is working on you and your husband. You can both learn from your failures as well as your successes. Give God the freedom to teach your husband through failure. In the same way, give God the freedom to teach you to trust Him through your husband’s failure.
Thank u so much 4 these wönderful advice,im not married yet but in a serious relationship and im looking forward to using your tips.thanx.clouds of blessings.
Thank you so much for this awesome and fruitful advice. I am unmarried too,but am going to marry my boyfriend.Your advice has helped me to respect him even when I do not feel like respecting and also to focus on his positive points which has showed me a right way to live. God bless you abundantly.
Thank you so much for this advice. God will help me to love and respect my future husband. Thank you, and God bless you all.
I think you have a lot of good advise ,but to tell woman that if your husband hates the color purple don’t wear purple in front of him is a bit over board and controlling. A husband and wife can have different likes and dislikes and have a healthy marriage, its like your wanting woman to lose what makes them their own person in order to make their husband happy. It seems to be a bit much.Don’t get me wrong every woman needs to respect their husband but their is a line. Your husband will still love you if you wear a color he hates and if he does not he has major issues.
What a lot of nonsense, marriages are about respecting each other and being equal within a relationship. I am from a family who has never seen a divorce, the only separation has sadly been through death. You need to wisen up and become part of the 21st Century, no wonder church numbers are falling when bad advice like this is given out.
Jane, what part of the article do you feel is “bad advice”? I think the author would agree that “marriages are about respecting each other,” this article concerns a wife’s attitude toward her husband, a counterpart article could easily be written concerning the husband’s attitude toward his wife.
For example, if I knew that my wife hated the color red, I would make it a point to not wear bright red shirts all the time. (Full disclosure: This is hypothetical because I’m not married.) It’s not that I would feel restricted from wearing the color red, it’s just common courtesy and a demonstration of love for my wife.
I agree with the advice as showing loving respect towards your husband. I think the color thing is overboard. My point is I’ve been married for 5 years it will be six this December… I do and practice all these things already towards my husband. He doesn’t do the same for me. Never tells me to have a nice day. Doesn’t say baby you look nice. I might as well be invisable. Never asks me how my day was… he had an affair on me two years ago… I’ve been down this rode before with a previous marriage. I decided in that one to walk away. I have an adult son from that marriage who went through a lot because of his father and I. I thought this one was the ONE! I have a 4 year old with him… I wanted to be different and try to be pleasing to the Lord… so I prayed and decided to try and forgive and move past it… he was sooo sorry. Well the past two years he’s still the same arrogant, prideful, person he was. He talks to me like I’m nobody and treats me like I don’t even count. Lately he doesn’t like being married, doesn’t want to answer to anyone, wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to… (this is what he’s told me) takes all these little rides on motorcyle in the evenings… trust me I’m not stupid. Now I guess my point is I HAVE ALWAYS treated him with respect, been loyal, loving etc… so what now? It hasn’t meant a thing to him.
I cannot respect my husband. He has been unfaithfull several times with several differnt women. I have endured over 20 years of verbal and emotional abuse. Respect? Respect what? Right now he ran over to a divorcee’s house saying he would be back in a few minutes. It’s been over 30 minutes. Where does a christian women draw the line?
I’ve been married for 10 yrs, i did treated my husband w respect,been loyal,loving etc. we’ve been always pray together with our 2kids every nite. he is very religious but he still cheated on me … he had affair
i think ur article above is far away to be true. it’s so damnnn difficult to do it in real life specially when there is no different between christian husband & non .
i went through bad times with husband, he very angry man, wants only money and doesnt care wife’s needs. He’s proud and always think one day his wife all is his. He doenst buy groceries for the family nor helps out in work at home. He doesnt tolerate anything/word against his mother.He is very commanding. Such a man it is very difficult to live with him.He doesnt respect wife although wife takes care of his emotional and physical needs. Such a man who has no love/word for his wife. how do i live with.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
Thankz, yes its true; but husband shouldnt expect from working wife, whatever is given of love to take and not demand, it should be the other way round men should provide and gift/give to wife…
Wonder when husband will care for his wife and love by atleast putting hand around her and appreciate her……
Anyways, thankz for response.
These are definitely very valuable advices. As a man I’d always look for these qualities in my wife if I were married. I think, the only way I deserve to be treated like these is to be always compassionate towards my woman. On the other hand it is much more easier to be kind to a woman having these qualities than a woman who has never thought about being a woman like this.
I just want to encourge you ladies and too remind you that the only one that never leaves or forsakes us is are God. I believe if you Fast and ask God to give you discernment on what to do with these men,stay or leave, he will. Because men who proclaim they love God and still cheat,can be holding you back from doing great things for God. The devil wants us to be without JOY, but we cant not for no one.God is love & joy in one. I pray that God shows these men the way before it is to late for them.
God Bless you for not going back to the world, even when are hearts are broken.
I have been married for almost 6 years now. It started of with me not respecting my husband, as it was but I think it has gotten worse over the years. Time and time again, he has proven to be unreliable in the decisions he makes. He is also very afraid to say ‘no’ to his family. So, they all sponge on him, leaving me to suffer the consequences. I can’t even start a family, even if I wanted to, because we would not be financially capable of doing that, since he has to ‘feed’ my sponging inlaws. I have tried to find things in him that I can be more respectful about. It’s been almost 6 years. I still haven’t found any.
As a woman pls note that only parents know our strengths and weaknesses, it takes years for spouse to understand them.
Surely woman should never leave her focus(they are as floodlights), around u dont get busy setting the spot lights, move ahead taking true steps and make a continual improvement in life, win his heart. luke 21.19 By ur patience possess ur souls. If u cry here on earth, u will rejoice in heaven. keep and preserve the joy from LORD and remember nobody on earth can snatch it fm u. – Luv u all women, men….enjoy the LORD’S breath in us.