So what happened with the church you guys planted? Did that end as you had hoped or were there problems that led you to leave that area? I know church planting can be such a difficult task and there are many pastors who have been deeply impacted by the experience and their faith has truly been shaken. From the way you describe the issue it makes me wonder if there wasn’t something that happened in that experience for you guys that has shaken you and your husband’s relationship with your Lord and it is coming out as a problem with each other. I certainly could be off on that though.

Let me encourage you though, because in Jesus Christ all of your needs are met. If you look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs, prior to the Fall, all of those needs were met in God. Adam and Eve were perfectly happy together because they weren’t dependent on each other for their happiness but they could share together in their happiness in God. The Fall changed that for all of the rest of us but when we have been transformed by the sacrifice of Jesus we can once again look to Him for our completeness.

To look to your husband to meet your needs is to misplace your source. He will never be able to meet your needs. He will never make you a good person or a good mother. Only Jesus Christ can do that. Paul writes, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13) Paul doesn’t give the power to anyone else but our Lord.

That does not mean the love in marriage is somehow irrelevant. It is in that relationship that we are able to carry out our role as stewards of this Creation and how we are able to fill the Earth with God-honouring children. And yes, your marriage needs to be healed. Jesus can do that, and He will do that. You just need to keep your attention on Him. Listen to our Good Shepherd’s voice and follow where He leads you. He will show you how to respond to your husband’s coldness. He will tell you what to speak and when to be silent. He will strengthen you to show love to your son and help him to see our loving Saviour in spite of the tension that is in your home. “Come to me all of you who are weary and burdened; and I will give you rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28) Jesus will provide everything you need to face this season that your family is going through. He will use you to help your husband through his shadowed valley.

Lord God I pray for my brother and sister. They are Your children who have given of themselves to serve the needs of the people of Your church and they are now in need of some love and building up. I pray that You would be all that DC needs right now. I pray that she would find in Your grace a sufficiency for every moment. I pray that Your Holy Spirit would help her to fix her eyes on You and to produce in her the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Bring brothers and sisters into her life who will help them both to stand firm in You during these dark days. Guard their son so that he will see Your hand in his parent’s lives and set him on a trajectory of godliness and service in Your name and for Your kingdom. I pray all this in the powerful name of Jesus, amen.

DC we can keep talking here or you may feel more comfortable talking to one of our online mentors. You can have a little more privacy and still find someone who will point you to Jesus and His strength in You. You will find a Mentor Request Form at http://powertochange.com/experience/talk-to-a-mentor.

Lord God I thank You for Julia and the way that she represents You to her children, her husband and to the rest of us here. I pray that You would help her to reveal Your love to her husband and that he would become a follower of Jesus. I also ask that You would continue to use the support of other people to pray for Julia and her family.

Lord God I also pray for Sarah Ali. I ask that You would care for her and her children. Care for their needs and help them to find a solid support network of Christians who can help care for their needs in the absence of her husband. Heal that family. Amen.

I am so sorry to hear that your in laws are not supportive of you at all. Do you have other members who do support you? This is not a easy road and you’re going to need some help. It sounds like you have done everything you could do and still he walked away. Pray for him. Pray for your family. I cannot tell you if he will come back or not, if he does he needs to understand that he must change his behaviour before you can welcome him back. He is your husband, but you are not required to let him hurt you. I think that the safety of you and your children comes first, if he is willing to seek help perhaps the family can be restored?

You mentioned that you bought a house on your own. That may turn out to be a good thing. It means that you have a place to stay. Do you live close by your in laws? If they are rude to you consider limiting your contact with them. You are not the one who broke your vows and your husbands actions are not your fault. It is unfair of them to punish you for what he has done. If they cannot be civil and you do not live with them, perhaps you’ll need to spend less time with them until they can treat you with more respect.