I understand the pain of being in an abusive, non loving relationship. One of the tragedies that often occurs in life is that we are a product of our childhood as an example if our parents don’t protect us or love us the child feels rejected. This has a devastating result when we get married as often we get married to someone who rejects us and is abusive as this is love for us. At least in our mind. The reason I know is because it occurred to me but CHRIST will free us.

Your ex-husband was cheating on you in a number of avenues. He did not provide the spiritual, emotional, and physical support that is commanded in the Bible. I am sure you would agree that the emotional support and spiritual support was not there but how can I state he was cheating? In Matthew 5: 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

I am certain your husband who is addicted to porn was doing more than just lusting after the woman online! Even though he did not cheat with a physical body his mind was committing adultery with his actions he was doing this every time he watched porn.

You are wrong in believing that you have to live with guilt as this is contrary to the Bible’s teaching. If your having sex with your boyfriend and want to remove the guilt and become free then cease having sex with him. physical activity is something that belongs in marriage as you will always feel guilty and the guilt gets bigger the more you have sex with him. By asking Christ to forgive you for cheating on your husband he forgives you. Your allowing the devil to win your battle for your mind as God has promised in Psalm 32: 5 Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself,” I will confess my rebellion to the LORD” and you forgave me! All my sin is gone.

Christ will forgive you however if we continue to sin against him by having sex because it gives you a temporary healing from your pain then guilt only will get worse. I understand that to have someone to treat you like a human being is very strange but part of the problem with lust is that it wears off then the cycle repeats itself all over again.

Please don’t believe that you are not worthy of Christs love as Christ wants you to be free as you don’t have to live in the bondage you are living in now. God forgave King David who was a man after his one own heart and he will forgive you. You can be free and have the feeling of God’s love. When Christ was earth he told the woman at the well that he had eternal living water where she would never have to thirst again. She accepted his word and was the first missionary who went and brought others to Christ and Christ taught them salvation.

If you wish to sense Gods love then ask Christ to forgive you and no longer sin by having sex with your boyfriend and your guilt will ease. Pray that Christ will heal your hurt from when you were a child and seek him to reveal if you need to meet with a Christian counselor to discover where the pain is from. When we claim verses such as the Psalm I quoted your guilt will ease however their is no need to drink the same poison that makes the guilt return.

Lord Jesus,

You see Cindys heart and Lord you know her inner most thoughts hurts and pains and Lord I know she must feel devastated by her ex-husband who did not love her as you loved the Church. Lord I pray that she will have the courage to ask for your forgiveness and accept that you will forgive her as well as remove the guilt. Lord often in life when we are faced with pain we seek solace in the arms of another person as it has the feeling of temporarily healing the wounds in our hearts. Lord this is not true love that is from you and Lord I pray above all that she will have the courage to give this up so she can feel your joy and peace. Lord I pray that you will put Godly, non judgmental people in her path who will help her to see you in them. Lord Jesus I claim this verse for my dear friend Cindy in Romans 15: 13 I pray that “God the source of hope, will fill you (Cindy) completely with joy and peace because you (Cindy) trust in him. Then you (Cindy) will over with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

God Bless you are a child of Christ and he loves you!

Do not ever try to go beyond the boundaries of your marriage, you can be healed if you come back but the guilt in the memory is always there. Preserve the beauty of your relationship.