7 Steps to Forgiveness
1. Name the offense as clearly as possible. It’s hard for us to forgive something that isn’t clear to us.
2. Find someone trustworthy and non-judgmental to listen to your story. Having someone listen and understand is a powerful part of healing. Journaling prayers to God, crying with a trusted friend, or seeking help from a qualified counselor are all effective.
3. Let yourself feel the pain. We all want to skip this part. Even Jesus prayed to the Father asking to skip the cross (Matthew 26:39). Yet the pain Jesus endured because of our sin was part of God’s plan. Often, we’d prefer to be angry because it hurts less. However, forgiveness requires allowing ourselves to feel and express the pain caused by others’ actions.
4. Know that some of your feelings will be ugly.
Life Lesson: Time management
Are you still growing spiritually?: Check your compass and let God lead you
5. Make an honest assessment of your reaction to the harm done to you. Often our reactions are as sinful as the offense against us. This awareness will help you keep a realistic perspective as you wade through your feelings.
6. Decide whether you want to confront the offender. The rule of thumb I use is simple. If it’s a relationship I want to preserve, I make the effort. If not, I let it go. We all have finite amounts of emotional energy. It isn’t wise to spend it in unprofitable places. Prayer will help clarify your decision.
7. Understand that human forgiveness takes time. Sometimes it takes years. Meanwhile, hold in mind your goal: to forgive and be forgiven. Jesus makes both steps possible.
Dear Belinda, Thank you for sharing your testimony! It is sure to be a blessing and of great help to others that are dealing with similar issues. It is so great when God lines us up with the right book, words of help and encouragement, and people just when we need it the most. It is so apparent that His Spirit has been working within you. The beautiful transformation that is taking place within you is all the works of His spirit and your desire to be healed and set free. Another good book you may want to read is “Breaking Free from Anger and Unforgiveness by: Linda Mintle. It is a little book BUT a powerful one at that. It is filled with scripture and teaches how to get to the ‘root’ of the problem. May God’s blessings continue to be with you as you move onwards in life with the good fruit of His Spirit…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness and self control. All these Godly fruits growing and maturing within you will help overcome anger, rage, and other works of the enemy who only seeks to kill, steal and destroy.
For the past 9years of my life had so much anger brokenhearted and felt betrayed,I wanted to kill someone and I came across the book seven steps to forgiveness the pain smelt away I Wiped the tears away I putted smile no my face again so this book is working alot take it seriouse
Will like to sebe more from you
This is and always has been the weakness I have. I have been known to hold a grudge for a LONG time. Lately I have been moved to learn more about forgiveness. For about a 2 week period, everytime I would turn the radio on or read something, it was always about forgiveness. I know it was God speaking directly to me but at the time I was struggling with “who do you want me to forgive?”
Thank you for this ‘blog’ as I really think it does help