Not the Life I Would Have Chosen
This is not the life I would have chosen for myself. No. If I had my way, I’d have been married by now. Actually, I’d have celebrated my fifth wedding anniversary. I’d probably be driving some sports utility vehicle or mom-mobile filled with children.
But that’s not my life. Instead, I’m not married. I have no children. I don’t drive an SUV. But I do lead the life God has chosen for me.
Surprisingly, I love it.
In the last year with my job I traveled around the United States and I zigzagged the globe, visiting the continents of Europe, Asia and Africa all for the first time. I saw ancient artifacts and artwork, learned about new cultures, took a dip in the Mediterranean Sea and tasted a plethora of new foods. I accrued enough frequent flyer miles in one year to qualify for another free trip to Europe.
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If at the beginning of time, God pulled me aside and asked, “Jennifer, how would you like for me to orchestrate your life?” I wouldn’t have even thought to petition for overseas travel, because I’d have been so focused on getting married and having lots of little ones. But if I were married and a mother, I wouldn’t have had the opportunities to travel.
I still long to be married though. This year, just after turning 26, I got a not-so-gentle reminder from Newsweek magazine that my biological clock is ticking. It’s an uphill battle to conceive after 27, I read.
To make matters worse, my boyfriend, the man I thought I would marry, had just ended our relationship on my birthday. My adrenaline started pumping as if for a race to find a husband.
But then God delicately reminded me-and continues to remind me that “God withholds no good thing from those whose walks are blameless” (Psalm 84:11). As long as I harbor no unconfessed sin in my heart, then my walk is righteous, and I can trust that I am in the center of God’s will. I trust Him. So far this life has been much more of an adventure than I could have hoped for. It’s not what I would have chosen, but God’s wisdom is higher, and therefore, His choice better.
