The Little Girl Who Feared Death

Written by Tanya Kozlova

When I was a little girl, I used to wake up in the middle of the night with fear in my heart – fear of death. I was in despair because I did not know what would happen to me after death. I thought there would be nothing and it would be the end. As a little girl, I ran to my parents’ room in tears, asking, “Mama, am I going to die?” Throughout my happy childhood, this nightmare haunted my heart.

While growing up, I learned to drive this fear deep inside myself. Yet, I was always wondering what would happen after I die. Death scared me, but life went on. Sports and money became most important to me, because they gave me self-confidence, independence, and pride in myself. I alone decided what was good and what was bad. Everything I had been taught by my parents became of minor importance. I had no interest in the lives of people around me. Yet, despite the importance and success I achieved, I still had no answer to the question of what happens after death. I had outward strength and beauty, but fear was victorious inside. “Why live,” I thought, “if I have to die all the same?” Only God who created me, could answer this question.

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I heard about God for the first time from my best girlfriend. At first, it all seemed like a fairy tale. Yet, I heard that people can receive eternal life simply by believing in Jesus Christ. I realized that I was getting closer and closer to answering the question that had troubled me all my life. That God gives us eternal life was a discovery. As an 18-year-old adult, I went running to my mother in tears, just as in my childhood. Only the words were different, “Mama, I’m not afraid of death anymore. Christ has given me eternal life.”

Since then, four years have passed. My greatest joy is that all my family – my parents and sisters – now believe in Christ. God showed me a wonderful way and I chose it. This year, I graduated from Bible College in Moscow. I want to tell the people of my country about our great, loving God, who gives love, joy, happiness, and, above all else, meaning to life.

God wants to be our leverage in living, empowering us to feel better about ourselves, more excited about our future, more grateful for those we love and more enthusiastic about our faith.

If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, God has given you His Holy Spirit to help you live life according to His perfect plan. Why not pray this simple prayer and by faith invite Him to fill you with His Spirit:

Dear Father, I need You. I acknowledge that I have sinned against You by directing my own life. I thank You that You have forgiven my sins through Christ’s death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. Amen.