Moving on from Your Past

Written by M. Larson

movingpastDuring the years in which I lived in a situation of turmoil and trouble, I would often have a recurring dream. I would be in Ocean Gate, NJ, where I grew up, trying to go crabbing. But something always prevented me from doing so. I couldn’t find a net or bait or sinkers, or various things occurred that prevented me from obtaining my goal. Then I would wake up.

After studying psychology at a Christian university, I began to realize that something in my subconscious mind might be causing me to have this dream. So I asked the Lord to enlighten me. Suddenly then it dawned on me: Deep down I was wishing I could go back to the carefree days of my youth when I had enjoyed crabbing with my brother and friends.

The reason I could never get to crabbing in my dreams was simple: I couldn’t leave my situation and return to the past!

Acceptance of that fact banished that frustrating dream.

The past

We can’t go back. We can’t undo the mistakes we made. There’s no use our saying, “I wish I had done this,” or “Oh, if I had never done that!”

Unfortunately, some of us live with guilt for years and years. But fortunately, God has made a way for us to be delivered of that heavy burden. First John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

If our burden of guilt is caused because our sin or mistake direly hurt someone else, how can we possibly be delivered from the oppressing memory of that? Well, Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

When we live in the past or allow it to trouble us for any reason, it can can rob us of God’s peace and joy and keep us from being a channel of His light to the world. Let our song be as the psalmist’s: “This is the day the LORD has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”

The present

What about the present? Many Christians live burdened down by depression, defeatism, anger, and resentment. They may suffer from some handicap, some tragic loss, an abusive marriage, rage that has simmered in their hearts since childhood or since the first time they felt rejected by someone they believed should love them.

We can take the vicissitudes of life two ways:

  1. We can either allow them to make us angry and bitter and frustrated, or
  2. We can rise above them with God’s help, love, and grace.

A backslidden Christian teenager received an injury in a high school football game that resulted in his becoming crippled and bitter, feeling that his life had been ruined. Through the influence of several ministers, however, Randall gave up the bitterness and rededicated his life to the Lord. Since then Randall has started a number of churches in the United States and Australia, and preached to thousands of soldiers in South Africa and led them to Christ!

Our lives may be hampered by deep-down anger and hostility toward persons who hurt us when we were younger. This may be hurting our relationships with loved ones and others today. One angry man I knew frequently harked back to the way his parents and others had treated him when he was young. He often took his anger at them and the world out on his wife and children.

When I attended a Narramore Conference, one lady’s test revealed that her hostility score almost went off the chart! “I don’t think I’m hostile,” she said angrily. Then she added, “But my family does!”

If our relationships are not right with others, we might examine ourselves for old wounds and grudges that may have instilled in us a deep-down hostility. We can do this by praying as King David did: “Cleanse me from secret faults.” God will bring to our minds wounds and grudges from which we need deliverance. As we forgive those He brings to mind, healing will come.

Easy? NO! But do what I do–I hold up in my hands individuals who have hurt me and say, “Here, Lord, I turn them over to You and I forgive them, for they probably didn’t realize how they were hurting me. Help me to fully forgive them, to love them, and to pray for them, as You said.” And He does it–for then I feel His peace.

How can we get ourselves out of ruts of self-pity and depression that rob us from peace and joy today? My elderly mother had drawn strength from the Lord for many years, but when she went through various physical trials, she became very despondent and just stayed in her house all day feeling depressed.

I urged her to start going outside again, feeding her squirrels and bluejays, walking around her property. She was so depressed, she refused to do it. But when I took her to a new doctor and he told her to start walking two miles outside every day, she obeyed him. Within a day or two the depression lifted like a miracle and she was back to her old resilient self.

One of the best ways we can get out of a hurtful rut is to get out and get busy walking, working, helping others. Many organizations are looking for volunteers. And if we are housebound, we can still serve others and the Lord by praying, phoning lonesome people, and sending encouraging letters and cards. I know one crippled lady who went in to her church each day to help the secretary with various small tasks, such as folding church bulletins.

The future

Though our past and present may have been clouded by unpleasant things, we who are Christians can look forward to our futures with hope and joy! We can leave Romans 7 behind, as Paul did, with its pessimistic self-centeredness and defeat. At the end of that chapter Paul exclaimed, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God–through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:24-25).

Paul moved then into Romans 8, his victory chapter, where he is seen living in the Spirit, instead of the flesh. There he exclaimed, “In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (vs. 37).

Ridding ourselves of the dead wood in our lives, dying to self and committing ourselves to the Lord, we step into the new life of love, peace, and joy that Christ promised us. Now we live for Him and others. We can press toward the mark for the high calling of God in Christ Jesus, as Paul said.

When we do that, we no longer have to think of ourselves and our own self-interests. We no longer have to worry about what anyone else but Christ thinks of us. We can live in His love and shine for Him. Automatically we will lay up treasures in heaven. Enjoying them and His presence for eternity will truly be a future that we can joyfully anticipate!

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5 Responses to “Moving on from Your Past”

  • Sharon Sharon says:

    to lima– prayer– father God i pray for lima i pray for her to grow in you through this and bring other christians along her path to encourage her, i am praying for you i feel for you it is not easy forgiving people you love that has betrayed you but i am glad you are taking steps to a better life towards God

  • lima says:

    i had been troubled for so many years as people i loved have betrayed me in every turn. i tried really hard to forgive them but i couldn’t,i still dreams of it and wake up crying.After reading this article i felt at peace,i realised that i have been away from God and now i am taking one step at a time to a better life and towards Him and forgive those who have hurt me.

  • Andrew says:

    Hi Dr. Muriel, This is definitely enlightening. I have so much trouble accepting and letting go of the past. I’ve been dealing with mental health problems (anxiety and chronic mild depression) for many years now and have been living in fear ever since. What slows me down to this day is the fact that I can’t seem to accept my many years of living in fear. I just want to move ahead and stop carrying the world on my shoulders. I’m tired but I’m still hopeful I will change and lead a great life.

  • Oh, praise the Lord, Elizabeth! I have been praying for you, and rejoice to hear that you will finally be able to move on with your life with joy and confidence! I know that you will now be able to make your life count for our Lord. Dr. Muriel

  • elizabeth says:

    Hi,

    your article has lifted me up from a long lived feeling of guilt and dragging my bad past life experiences. Thank God for His promise of love, peace and joy through the working of the Holy spirit.

    God bless you as you encourage many more people all over the world.

    elizabeth.

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