August 31, 2011, Wednesday

I am 28 1/2 years old (born December 07, 1982). My name is Tracy S. Thompson and I was raised (and still live) in Pensacola, Florida, U.S.A.

I grew up in church – knowing and loving the Lord. At 12 1/2 I stopped attending, because my grandmother couldn’t take me anymore. While I lost some interest in the Lord, I never lost love for Him.

In 2006 He began pulling me to Him.

In 2007 He began pulling me even closer to Him.

By 2008 I was back strong with Him.

In October 2010 I pursued sin (and had pursued it since the age of 16), something nonpositive happened. I went to the Lord and begged Him to fill me with Him love. And He told me not until you give up that lifestyle. So I said, ‘Okay, Lord. I give it up.’

In December 3, 2010, He baptised me with His Holy Spirit and gave me my first spiritual gift – Prophecy by interpretation of His Word.

Between December 2010 and mid March 2011, Lord Jesus Christ gave me somewhere between five (5) to six (6) (possibly 7) different spiritual gifts (Prophecy, Knowledge, Wisdom, Revelation, Seer, Tongue, Power Tongue). And He gave me Stigmata (with the pain, not the blood, from the wounds).

In May of this year, I return to doing evil – I lusted with my eyes, heart, and mind after men and women though mostly women. I knew I was (defiantly) sinning and even did it with a smile on my face (I did not know about Hebrews 6:4-6, nor of the knowledge that willful/defiant/deliberate sinning could result in demon oppression/demon possession, reaching the-point-of-no-return with Holy Spirit.) But since then I have repented and renouned unto the Lord both lusting and Homosexuality, and have completely turned from them both.

After two (2) weeks of lusting with my eyes, mind, and heart one day while at home (and I was just as wide awake then as I am now) I felt a presence enter into my eyes.

Then I felt the Holy Spirit leave me (though He has come back to me many times since, and I really felt Him very strong/and dwell in my spirit Friday, August 12).

Within 20 minutes I immediately knew what that presence was and why it entered through my eyes.

I went into a five (5) day fast and prayer.

On the third day of the fast and prayer, a portion of this presence literally broke off from my eyes and went through my mind and my neck. Went it entered my body I felt it multiply into many. That is the best way I can explain it. The presence just multiplied into many.

On the fifth day of the fast and prayer I could feel the entities just jumping in jumping in jumping in and jumping in. It was like they didn’t want to leave.

Of course being tired after five (5) days of fasting and praying I discontinued the fast and prayer.

Two (2) days after the Lord came to me and I heard His voice. I was very familiar with His voice and quickly was able to distinguish it. (I was wide awake.) He was very strict and stern with me; and, He had every right to be.

He said to me, ‘YOU WERE TOLD TO DEPART FROM EVIL.’

About two (2) days later I heard the Lord come to me again and He said, ‘And these words are true – you will not enter My Kingdom.’ Within seconds of this message the bible verse of ‘And the works of the flesh are manifested and they are: emulation, idolatry, fornication, adultery …. and those who practice such shall not inherit the Kingdom Of God.’

About a day or two after this I went online and googled ‘demon possession’ and came across an article that told how a person becomes demon possessed. And it basically told my experience word for word.

A week later, I believe the Lord came to me again. It was nighttime, I was asleep and the only person in the room. The Holy Fire (some call it the Fire Of God, others call it the Fire Of The Holy Spirit) came upon me and I immediately woke up. I heard what I believe was the Lord’s voice and He said to me, ‘I have come to you in many ways and have told you that you will not inherit My Kingdom.’

A week later, the same thing happened. It was nighttime, I was asleep and the only person in the room. The Holy Fire came upon me and I immediately woke up. I heard what I believe was the Lord’s voice and He said to me, ‘Your presence isn’t wanted in My Kingdom. You are an abomination.’

All this happened in the month of June (from the time the demon entered my eyes (June 4th 2011) to the above message).

Since then I have received other messages (that were not good messages) with experiencing the Holy Fire. One of these messages was ‘You belong to satan.’ Yes, it was nighttime, I was asleep, the only person in the room, and the Holy Fire came upon me and woke me out of my sleep.

Whenever I’ve gone to the Lord asking Him for deliverance from this I began to feel the Holy Fire upon me, and sometimes it is both the Holy Fire upon me and feeling the Fear of God at the same time.

I don’t feel the Lord’s presence like I use to and I don’t hear from Him, in great depth, like I use to. I am concerned that I may have lost my Salvation. I am concerned whether the Lord will deliver me or not.

I want deliverance (if the Lord Jesus Christ is willing – AND I PRAY HE IS!).

- Tracy Thompson
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No one is born Homosexual, Lesbian, Bisexual. The born -Homosexual/Lesbian/Bisexual theory is a lie from the pit of Hell. I CHOSE at the age of 16 to like other females, because of how boys always treated me (very badly) and I had not ever had a strong relationship with a particular female relative (whom is still alive and I, out of respect for her, desire not to name). And while I had like males my preference was for females, because of the aforementioned reasons. There has been four (4) postive things that have come out of this experience. My fear (of the Lord) and my desire to obey Jesus Christ’s Word AT ALL COST is much stronger and greater than it has ever been in my entire life, my relationship with my (earthly) Dad grew even stronger than what it was before (and was strong even then), AND I absolutely desire women NO longer. I am convienced beyond doubt that this sin, Homosexuality, is just an outright abomination to Him.

Ashamed, embarrased, fearful (of what others may think/say/feel/do) I will not be. Again, if just one soul is saved and goes to Heaven by the reading of my story THEN SO BE IT.

Jesus said that conviction of sin is the work of the Holy Spirit, “When He comes, He will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment” (John 16:8) If you have felt the conviction of your sin then it is evidence that the Holy Spirit is working in your life. He is not removed from you. Just like the people of Nineveh, you have the opportunity to repent as well and receive forgiveness from God because of what Jesus Christ has done for you. “If we confess our sins to him [God], he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.” (1John 1:9) The Holy Spirit has convicted you and has called you to confession and repentance (that means turning your back on the wrong you had done and head for the right which God calls you to). Accept His gift of forgiveness and be free from the guilt of your past.

Does that make sense?

I think your situation is different. If God is convicting you of sin the you need to repent and make that right. Go and talk with the guys and let then know of your reservations and your thankfulness. Ask for their forgiveness for the half-truth you told and make it right. Also, ask God for forgiveness and ask for His help to refrain from that kind of insincerity in the future.

God’s promise is, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness.” (1John 1:9) So you do not have to live in fear but in the joy of God’s forgiveness.

You may also want to talk with someone who can help you walk through this process and claim the freedom from guilt and fear. Talk with a godly friend or a pastor or one of our online mentors. You can find a Mentor Request Form here.

Lord God I ask that you help Willys to be free from the fear of condmnation. Give him the courage to repent of his half-truths and then wash him clean in the blodd of Your Son Jesus Christ. Amen.