Coping with Your Husband’s Job Loss

Written by Lori Fletcher

husbandjoblossMy cell phone rang on Monday morning while I was working at a client’s office. “Lori, can you meet me at home? I’ve just been let go from my job.” I packed up and got in the car and started to drive, my heart pounding, my mind racing…then the tears started, and I began to pray.

Just the previous Sunday afternoon, Del and I had been talking about his job. Over a period of time there had been significant leadership changes in his company, resulting in increased stresses and frustrations that hindered him from being able to do his job well. Many times Del would come home with a bad tension headache after a long day at work, not to mention the extreme fatigue he was feeling. He told me he wasn’t sure if God was trying to tell him it was time to find another job, or whether He wanted him to persevere in this job. We decided he should update his resume and start sending it out to some recruiters, and we would see if God would open any doors. Then the decision was taken out of our hands.

When I arrived home, Del was sitting in a chair in our living room just staring into space. I have never felt so inadequate in all my life! I sat down in his lap and we both started to cry. After we shed our tears (at least for that time) we prayed together. We acknowledged God’s sovereignty and plan for our lives, and we asked for His peace in the midst of all the uncertainty.

[Related Reading: Claire’s Story of Facing Job Loss]

Thus began our journey – one that would change us both individually and also our marriage forever.

So as the wife of a man who no longer has somewhere to go everyday, where do you start in showing your support?

1. Teach him how to do the laundry!

We both recognized that, for the foreseeable future, Del would be available to help out more at home. He was always very willing to help me in whatever way I needed him – he just wasn’t always available. So, he asked me to show him how to do the laundry since he now had the time. I’ll always remember, during his first week at home, him leaving the dinner table upon hearing the dryer buzzer and announcing that he needed to go and “fold his towels!” Del was also able to help with the groceries, the morning school drop-offs, and with dentist and orthodontist appointments. I was so grateful for his willingness to help with my load. One caution in this area, though – do not give him so many things to do that he doesn’t have time to look for a job!

On a more serious note…

2. Encourage him!

There were many days when Del needed me to be his greatest encourager, while he struggled with thinking that he was not good enough to get a job to take care of his family. I needed to remind him how important he was to our family, how proud we were of him, and how much we loved him. He needed to be reminded that, just as we had prayed and acknowledged God’s sovereignty in those first few hours, it was God who was in control and He was worthy of our trust. God would open that door of employment for him when He knew best – which is also why it was so important to….

3. Pray for him!

What greater gift can I give to my husband than to pray for him; to commit him to the protection and care of the One who knows him more intimately than me, and who loves him even more than I ever could? Many times I would not know what to say to Del when he was feeling down or frustrated. I knew that his feelings were real, but I also knew that Satan wanted nothing more than to keep him feeling that way. Psalm 145:14 says “The Lord helps the fallen and lifts up those bent beneath their loads.” I often had to ask God to meet Del’s needs, because I knew I couldn’t!

4. Communicate with the kids!

Del losing his job affected the whole family, not just him. When Del lost his job, our children were 11 and 15 years of age. Any time that Del or I wanted to spend money, our 15-year-old son Ryan would tell us not to. He would say “I know it – we’re going to be living in a cardboard box!” Recognize the need to let the kids know how you are doing, as it is appropriate to their age. Tell them when Dad has a job interview, or even when he gets a call for a potential opportunity. And most of all, pray with your children. There were many nights we gathered as a family in our daughter Lauren’s room as she climbed into bed and prayed together. We would thank God once again for His provision and care for us, and ask again that He provide a job for Dad. On more than one occasion I heard Del thank God in prayer for doors that the Lord had closed when he was not chosen for a job, even after several interviews that looked very promising. Del was able to model to our kids the Scriptural principle that “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!”

5. Be willing to adjust!

As much as I needed to support my husband, his job loss did have its affect on me as well. Having had the privilege of being a stay-at-home mom while the children were younger, and running my own accounting business as they got older, I am used to having time at home – by myself! All of the sudden I had my husband around constantly. Yes, it had its advantages with regards to his help, but it was just not normal.

I was used to my routines: getting lunches made, children to school, household chores done, getting out the door to see clients – all the things I had been doing for the past 17 years. But now Del was home in the mornings, and it always seemed we’d get into conversations about things right when I should have been heading out the door. And then I’d come home later in the day prepared to go about my usual routine (reading the mail/e-mails, making some phone calls, or exercising on the treadmill), only to find Del in our home office, working away on the computer. So I would spend some time with him and then start dinner early, as we no longer had to wait for him to get home.

I found myself longing for time on my own. It’s not that I didn’t love him and enjoy being with him, but I needed some time to myself once in a while. I found I was beginning to resent the fact that he was there all the time. But I also had to recognize and be sensitive to the fact that he did not want to be at home either. We both had to be willing to consider each other’s feelings in this matter.

6. Communicate with each other!

As a wife, a lot of my security and stability came from the fact that I had lived in the same place for the 20 years we had been married, my husband went to work everyday and earned an income to pay the mortgage and the bills, my children were happy in their schools, and I had family and friends all around me. Now it became apparent to me that all of that might change! Not only that, but I found myself wondering what Del was doing with his time – how hard was he looking for that job? Was he allowing other things (church involvement, household tasks, etc.) to interfere with his job searching? It was critical that we communicate with each other, so he knew how I was feeling and I wasn’t creating expectations for him that he did not know about.

7. Seek God together!

More than anything, though, this was the most important change that came for the both of us. Praying together as a couple was always a sporadic thing for us over the years. But when God brought this change and uncertainty to our lives, there was no question that we needed to draw together and especially pray together if we were going to make it through this. Now we pray about everything, whether it’s a decision to be made, or just about whatever we are feeling; we bring it before God together. We also pray together for one another. It’s a tremendous way to demonstrate our love for each other, and to feel like we are tackling the challenges of life as a team.

A few months after Del lost his job, God gave me a verse from the Bible that became my promise for this period of time we were going through. Hebrews 10:23 says, “Without wavering, let us hold tightly to the hope we say we have, for God can be trusted to keep His promise.”

I can’t say there weren’t tough days. It wasn’t always easy to keep trusting and believing that God had a plan for us. But in the end I knew God could be trusted and that He was faithful; that His plans were for our good and not to harm us. One of the greatest blessings that we have found in our journey of the last three years is that God has taken what we both knew to be true in our heads and has now imbedded it in our hearts. Sometimes the most important lessons in life are learned through our hardest trials.

Have you or someone you love lost their job? Talk to a mentor who can pray and support you through this time.


150 Responses to “Coping with Your Husband’s Job Loss”

  • Chris says:

    concerned mom…i pray jesus restore to your husband a godly job that glorifies his name. his faithfulness is unto all generations!! psalm 89.1

  • Concerned mom says:

    We moved out of state almost 2 yrs. ago. Hubby has been working with a company for a year and a half. He was let go last week, we had just purchased a home. I am disabled and we have a child who has ASD. Not sure what to do here. Please god help us through this difficult time!

  • Chris says:

    phindile…we lift you and your husband sipho up before the mighty throne of gods grace and mercy so that in everything jesus christ can all you will ever need in this life working his justice and authority on your behalf for the good of your lives and the good and glory of jesus kingdom amen!

  • Londi says:

    It is so stressfull when he keeps on bringing it up as if I was the one who caused it. I have tried in numerous occasions to close the gap of him not working but he just keeps throwing that “its because I don’t have a job” on me. Not that I don’t acknowledge it but he makes me sick. I want to help him and its been over a year now and he also has lost hope. I have lost him and I want to get him back because I might of said something I was not supposed to due to anger. how can I deal with this?

  • Phindile says:

    My husband lost his job last year 14th of December 2014, no written warning or verbal warning was given to him, he was unfairly dismissed he opened a case in CCMA but they couldn’t help him either, prayed about it and we know for sure that God is going to answer, I pray that God must not do any harm to the 3 guys that were against my husband suspense. My husband’s name is Sipho he was working for Consol glass in Wadeville. Please pray for us not to say we are stressed but for God to renew our strength.

  • Chris says:

    Naomi…i pray for you and your family so that you have your needs met according to philipians 4.19. we know trials of our faith will come but those who build their lives upon the solid rock of christ, wont fall. Matthew 7.25 and following. i pray you be a proverbs 31 wife and woman and stand with your husband and family in faith, showing the good example of faith, love and determination just as paul exhorted Timothy to do also. 1 Timothy 4. blessings!

  • Naomi says:

    Hi! Mt husband if 8 years just lost his job and am so heartbroken. We have 4 children who are used to a certain way of living. My greatest fear for now is weather our relationship which had a few cracks like most marriages will withstand the pressure of this challenge. I am thankful to God and believing in him to come through for us.

  • Chris says:

    annie…i am sorry you are struggling. we know in married life at times, things dont go as we would like. i have found that although they are difficult to go through, these trying times do help us to draw closer to christ if we let them. proverbs 31 may be helpful to see how the power of God can be given to a godly wife in an amazing way for her to be industrious i believe regardless of her age in agreement with psalm 91 and 92. i pray the same holy spirit who quickened jesus from the dead and who lives in you, would quicken your faith and human life today according to romans 8.11. that you would be encouraged to know that no matter what job your husband has or doesnt have, jesus is your source. in his name i pray amen!

  • annie says:

    my husband of 40 plus years has not been able to keep a job in years … I have carried the health insurance for both of us … I am so tired …i am getting ready to retire and do not know if I will be able too … The debt just keep increases and I feel so helpless ,,, I have prayed so long for God to bring him a job that he could keep … we have no savings because he never could keep a job … why doesn’t he ever get a chance

  • Chris says:

    nuella…i pray that jesus opens his treasurehouse in heaven for both you and your husband so that you have an abundance of provision both now and always in jesus name amen!

  • nuella says:

    My husband has lost his job and i feel so heart broken and discourage.please i want you people to lift him up in prayers that God who did the miracle by giving him the job will give my husband another chance.God bless you all

  • Chris says:

    etido….its very important when we are talking about Jobs, to understand that our Jobs and lifes calling are determined from heaven for us as a part of Gods general plan for our lives. its important to be seeking jesus daily to be sure we are currently where he wants us to be and doing his will in that since all of life can be summed up in three words…doing Gods will. as christians in a fallen world, we must also be very cautious about not falling into a job situation that puts us into debt or would require us to put out capital investing. those types of job offers many times are scams. be wary of signing contracts also since those agreements can lead a person to financial ruin. i believe a God-ordained job is one that is described in the book of ecclesiastes and psalm 104 where a man can do an honest days work for an honest days wage and rest his head at night satisfied that he has done a descent days work. its great that you and your husband are both believers. as you pray together and are in a true new testament church as well, you can expect jesus to lead you and guide you to a job that is non-binding and blessed at the same time. jesus said if we seek, we will find. its important to be open to doing any type of work and not limiting christ to only one field or profession since he Works in many ways that our human minds cannot comprehend. our job sites are really mission fields. so we need to keep that in mind also. for jesus to find us new Jobs is no problema for him, as long as we are seeking his kingdom first in our hearts and lives. Matthew 6.33. since faith is now, heb 11.6, there is no need to be projecting out into the future as to a date or time for prayers to be answered. mark 11.24 says we receive the moment we pray. expectant prayer is expecting the answer to be manifest within the next moment, not month. . .father bless your children with blessed work and finances as they keep jesus first, listen to you in their hearts and stay away from non-biblical teaching, checking out all they hear with your Word, acts 17.11, they will be blessed indeed in jesus name amen!!

  • etido edem Maurizio valente says:

    my husband lost his job for 10 months now. we have been praying and expecting God for a job. I prayed and heard God spoke to me that he will give my husband the job in November. I believed God and thank God for it. well, a proposal has been given to him in November to partner in a company with his friend. right now he needs a financial miracle to enable him finalize the contract proposal. the company was suppose to commence in January 2015. please what should I do at this time? I need a guide line on how to pray a faith prayer. I really need God to help us now. my husband sometimes feels as though he has failed and I have always find words to encourage him. he is still young in the faith. please I need some counseling. thank you.

  • Chris says:

    layla…we lift up your husband to jesus throne of grace, for you and your sons that the healing power of christ can sweep upon you all. may the Word of christ dwell in you all richly. col 3.16 to 17. his Word is medicine and life to those who find it and health to all their flesh. prov 4.20 amen!

  • Layla says:

    My husband lost his part time job and has a hearing on Friday and may lose his full time job due to a medical condition. I ask for prayers please as I pray for all of you and yours during these difficult times. We are facing one of the hardest coldest winters in history and I am disabled as is our son, we have another son also and they are both in school. We receive no help from his rich mother and we are scared. His sick time is running out and and our income and medical benefits will cut off if they do not allow him back to work or fire him. In Jesus name I pray Amen.

  • Chris says:

    isa…i am sorry to hear of your situation. when culture overrides the Word of God, then its time to put ones foot down. 1 tim 5.8 is clear that if a man doesnt provide for his home, he is worse tan an infidel. your husband is not being a husband to you nor a father/provider for his children. at this point you can be led by the holy spirit to make the necessary decisions to supply for your family by his strength and move foward regardless of what your husband may say since he isnt a doer of the Word and not much of a hearer either. i pray jesus would show you the way. would lead you by his hand and give you the power you need to be strong in the lord regardless of what is going on around you or people who are failing you in jesus name amen!

  • Isa says:

    My husband has always worked in the family business but later separated with his father. That was about 18 years ago. He never received any support from his family and always struggled to find a life. Since then, I am the breadwinner (school fees, home expenses, children clothing, rent, etc.). I helped him buy some farmland and he turned into agricultural and farming activities, and took a loan. It did not work our and we lost our house in auction. At some point he asked me leave my job so that I can help him manage the business. maybe that is the mistake I did: because, given that I was not really happy with my job, I took the decision to leave and help, but it was too late, he did not properly manage the business. I also became unemployed and we had a very hard time, thank God that my family was there for us, helping us for our living expenses. Nobody from his family, not even a word of support. I got the chance to work on a temporary until I find a job, until now, but at a very low salary. Since January, my husband was absent, as he had gone to his family home to request assistance and his heritage, but he ended up doing nothing, and I was seriously struggling alone to satisfy the basic needs. Now he came back still with no job, no income, and just stay at home from morning to evening. We live in Africa and men do nothing in terms of house chores, that is called disrespect. Now I just make me feel that he is the leader of the house, by disregarding what I say, shouting at kids for nothing. I have given him all I have, including respect, support but now I am getting very tired. He likes using painful words, I sometime wonder if it is not moral harassment but I do not want to believe. Through my everyday prayers, God helps me be strong, and help me find the basics for a living, but my moral is down. He never goes to church, though he prays at home, but contradictory his actions make me think if he really believes. He refused to have me bring a priest to bless our home. he is not social at all, and we are always secluded alone, no friends, except mine sometimes. Now I really feel I need peace and go live my own life. Kids are grown, and they see what is happening. Not sure if I can take even good time to myself. Help!

  • Chris says:

    tandy…so sorry to hear of your struggles. this is a time when you both can be praying together, sticking together, being with Gods people in a blessed Christian church and know that God has the answers and the doors you need to walk through. i pray your husband be open to any job jesus would give him, not just what would suit him. some job sites to check out are…,,, and i pray jesus would now give you wisdom about your vocations and callings and that his guidance and favor would be upon you both. divorce is never his will, malachi 2 tells us that. stay together. stay in prayer and stay in faith in jesus name amen!

  • Tandy says:

    My husband resigned 2 years ago because because he was very unhappy. He opened his business but it never took off. Now it’s been two years of praying but nothing. He’s been to interviews, some very promising but we’re still here without a job. I’m working but it is not enough to cover all the responsibilities. I have utmost faith in Jesus but lately I have doubts if He is listening. My husband is highly educated but he is just not getting any luck with job interviews. This has started to take a toll on our marriage. He is depressed and I want him to be a provider again. I pray to God that he gives us strength to survive this as a family. I don’t know how long we can wait for a miracle. He has lost his faith in God and that breaks my heart. He is a God fearing man but now he has lost hope in prayer. I’m also starting to think that we were not meant to be together. Maybe this is a way that God is telling me to leave him so he can start blessing him, I don’t know. I just pray with all my heart that God blesses him with a job soon. I can’t even get intimate with him anymore. I try to be supportive but most of the time it is very hard. I mostly blame him for resigning and blame him for our current situation. Please put us in your prayers. This is now out our control and I put all our hopes and lives in his Hands. I pray for his direction and guidance. I’m stressed and yet know that He says we should be still and know that He is God. But when you’ve been praying ceaselessly, it is very difficult to keep your faith. Pray for us.

  • Chris says:

    Karen…sorry to hear of your struggles. financial difficulties have a way of finding us all it seems. phil 4.19 must always be one of our foundational stones which says our God will supply according to his riches in glory. sometimes as deut 8 says, we may experience some times of humbling in our finances so that we always learn to trust in christ for our needs and not in our work. has quite a few opportunities you could possibly check out. my prayer for you in jesus name is that the lord gives you his peace knowing that as you live one day at a time and are sensitive to his holy spirits leading, your husband will have the work he needs to provide for your family and see the glory of God in his provisions for you all amen!

  • Karen says:

    My husband lost his job on September 16, 2014. He was there for 14 years. I have two toddlers and work part time. I thought God would have closed this door and immediately opened another door, but that has not happened. I am thankful for my husband and children’s health, but I am scared about when the next door will open. I don’t know what we are supposed to learn from this, and I pray that God will show us what to do next. I don’t want to be angry, but I am so sad and confused. I will miss my children so much if I have to go back to work full time.

  • Doris Beck Doris Beck says:

    I’m so sorry to hear of your husband’s job loss. That is never easy but especially as you walk through it with him since it so hard on his self esteem as a man and his desire to provide for you and your child. Let me pray for you both….

    Dear Heavenly Father,
    I lift up Megan and her husband to you right now. Thank you that You are not surprised with this even if they were and that You have promised to meet all of their needs and You will do that. Help her to be strong and totally walking in dependence on You during this time. Thank you that Your grace is always sufficient. May they be experiencing that today. Amen

  • Megan says:

    My husband lost his job Friday after being with the department 9 years. Please pray I can stay strong and helpful and supporting. I’m ready to break. We have a 15 month old and have been married a little less than a year. Please pray for us!!!

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Lord God I do pray for these families that are struggling with unemployment. The discouragement piles on top of the stress of no income and can really take a toll on the whole family. I pray Lord that You would supply their needs and that they would know that You are with them even in times of want. I pray that these wives would have Your wisdom to know how to love and support their husbands and that this would be an experience that would draw them closer to You and closer as a married couple. Amen.

  • Christy says:

    Prayers needed! My husband has lost his job- his last paycheck was yesterday. We have two children, horses, chickens, goats , dogs, cats and pigs to feed and care for. I have faith that God has another job waiting for him when the time is right. But I am scared-

  • julie says:

    My husband lost his job after 29 years. We lost our insurance, etc. Please pray for us and for me to be a more understanding, supportive wife. I know God has something better in store, but this is such a life changing event…please pray for us. Julie and Jerry

  • Kay says:

    I have been married a year now, my husband was in hid own business with a partner and that was liquidated last year October in November he joined a company that let him go in march, three of our kids are in school and there is transport and food and extra lessons for kids to pay, besides rent and electricity.I find it so challenging to ask him what’s the plan because daily he is putting a busiess proposal together and nothing has come up. I don’t know how to pray anymore I’m just depressed and scared that lights will be cut off while kids study for exams. Where is God when in swimming upstream and the current is unbearable?

    My hubby is taking strain I see him loosing weight , playing strong but I know he hurts.

  • Mrs A says:

    Thank you Lori and everyone for sharing. I am a 29 year old newlywed who got married July 2013. My now husband lost his job a year ago. But we were both hopeful and I did my best on my end as his fiance/wife to keep us afloat. Over the past year he has taken odd jobs but hasn’t been able to keep any. Not only are we struggling with unemployment but we are struggling with him keeping a job. I know most of you are asking why I married him in the first place but I was very positive and hopeful at the time that he would get something. I feel very lonely and used because I feel like my husband is taking advantage of me. He is always making excuses for lost jobs and why he is not fulfilling his role as a husband. My fellow Christians. I do not want to be a nagging wife. Please pray that God will change my story and take me out of this depression.

  • Shelley says:

    Dear Father God.

    I pray that anyone who is not working that you will find them work, as they lean on You for comfort.

  • Jaime says:

    My husband just lost his job where he had been for 8 years. We moved away form our friends and family for this job. The way he was let go was so unfair that we can only conclude that God has something else in mind for him and our family. I am stressed right now because I only work PT and he carried our insurance and about 85% of our income. I am a type 1 diabetic on many medications and treatments for my disease and we have no insurance, in God’s sovreignty I has just received a 3 month supply of all my supplies. Please pray that the Lord will lead my husband to the job that he has for him. We had just recently paid off a lot of our small bills and were starting to work on her credit in preparation to buy a house. I feel like we have just taken 4 steps back and I am really worried that we are going to fall behind in everything again. Please pray for God’s provision during this difficult time and that I can be supportive of my husband and the help mate that God designed me to be for him.

  • Barbara Alpert Barbara Alpert says:

    Hi Giss,

    Glad that the article was of help to you. It is amazing how God works things out for His children…like you coming across this article and it being of encouragement to you. May you and your husband stand firm in your faith that God will bring about a new job opportunity. Also, I’m not sure if you realize it or not but if you click on the “Tags” at the end of this article you will find more articles that perhaps will offer additional insight and encouragement. God’s blessings of peace, provision, and protection be with you and your husband.

  • Giss says:

    My husband has been informed that he is being let go from his job. We got married three months ago. It was very sad to read the text message he sent me with the bad news. Thankfully I have a full-time job at the moment; but him loosing him his job has me a little worried. I am trying to be supportive, and keep reminding him that if a door closes, God will open more. We really don’t know what great opportunities are out there for us until we are in need of chasing them. I thank God for his grace and the fact that our faith on Him is what keeps un strong. Thank you for this article; reading it helped a lot. I wish you all the best in these holidays and may God our lord give us strength to face this difficult situation.

  • Laura Jensen says:

    Hi Caroline, thank you for sharing. It sounds like you’re going through a tough situation. My dad lost his job when I was in elementary school, so I think I understand a little of what you’re going through. You said you find it difficult to talk to others/relatives – have you ever considered talking to a counsellor? I realize the cost of talking to a professional may not be something you and your husband want to add on at this time, but there are also confidential online email mentors you could talk to. Here’s the link for you: Talk to a Mentor

    Let me pray for you, Caroline: Father, I lift up Caroline and her husband to you. Let their faith in your providence always be strong and rooted in the knowledge that your timing in everything is perfect, even when it feels like things aren’t going anywhere. God, hold Caroline and her husband in your arms and allow them to find rest, peace, and hope in you during this difficult time. I pray for renewal and refreshment for this couple, as well as contentment in the everyday while Caroline’s husband continues to search for a new job. Let their joy come from you right now, and help this couple to be satisfied with your plan for their lives. In Jesus’ name, amen.

    Thank you Caroline.

  • Caroline says:

    Thank you for this wonderful post. My husband lost his job 2 years before exactly 6 months after we got married. He is still finding it difficult to find one. Thankfully God provided me a job. We are able to manage. I want my husband to get a job, go to office daily, and all our situations will change, we can plan our future. The sad thing is, he is not getting any calls for job. Please pray for him to get a job soon. I don’t want to go into depression because of this. I find it difficult to talk to others/relatives. I find it difficult to do anything. I am tired of all these things. Hoping that things will change. Please pray for us. thank you.

  • Alfred says:

    Upon reading through this wonderful article by Lori Fletcher, and then trying to understand all the trials and hurts expressed in the last 8 responses, I feel that all has been said. To Terrie M. I’d reply that sadly most people do not have an adequate financial cushion to carry them for a year or so. I know that when our children were small we did not have enough money set aside. What is there beyond unemployment insurance, selling what is not really needed, and living more economically? As mentioned in various ways, there can be great benefits such as Spiritual and personal growth from experiencing a loss of some kind.
    A friend once said, “If you do not have a job then your job is to find a job. Work at it 10 hours per day, or whatever it takes, till you’ve got one!”
    From a self-improvement class I learned that we need to look at the positive in ourselves as well as in others. Try to find what is right (not what is wrong) about you or your situation.
    Let me close with thankfulness in that God uses times of difficulty to help us grow and to draw us closer to Himself.

  • Terrie Mihan says:

    All of this is well and good – but WHO pays the mortgage, car payments, food, medical, electricity, water while all this wonderful stuff is happening ??

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    I appreciate your perspective Ellen. God does allow us to go through difficult times so that our trust in Him is strengthened as we see His faithfulness.

    Let me caution you from trying to protect him from your emotions in all of this. That can often have a detrimental on both of you. I would encourage you to work together with him to figure out how you can both be honestly sharing your feelings and not feel compelled to hide things from each other.

    Lord God I do pray for Ellen and her husband. Help them to grow closer to each other and closer to You through this time of job loss. Give them the joy of seeing Your miraculous provision in their lives. Amen.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Sarah, I am sorry to hear about your husband’s job loss. Are you saying he made unethical decisions and the consequence was getting fired? I think your response is the same that God instructs us to have in any situation where someone has made mistakes: speak the truth in love. We don’t ignore the poor choices but neither do we condemn. In love we help them move forward so that they can make better decisions in the future.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Thanks for the update D. It is good to hear about the Lord’s provision for employment. I applaud your trust in Him for the restoration of your marriage and would encourage you to continue to follow His leading. I don’t think it is wrong for you to hire a lawyer to represent you nor is it foolish to represent yourself if that is the path that God has directed you to follow. Keep your eyes on Him and trust His leading no matter what the outcome.

    Heavenly Father I pray for D as he faces the legal end of his marriage. I pray that He would have confidence in Your leading and guiding and that he would have the courage to be obedient no matter where you lead him. Allow his obedience to You be a powerful testimony in the heart of his wife and bring her back to full obedience to You. Guard them both from the destructive nature of the adversarial nature of our court system and keep them from the bitterness that infects so many people who have gone through that process. Amen.

  • Ellen says:

    Hi, My husband lost his job 4 months back. He is sincere and dedicated as a person and a professional. He is the best husband anyone could ask for. He loves me to bits, helps me with household chores, is supportive, gets along with my family… His losing the job has affected finances a little, but I am working and earning too. But it is difficult to see him going for interviews and coming back frustrated. It feels so unfair at times… But we are coping.
    I have learnt a lot from this experience. The value of love, the importance of saving, and the need for faith.
    I always cheer him up and take care of him when he is down. The only flip side is that I am unable to express my frustration. If I am gloomy, he will feel disheartened.
    But then, again, I know God is with us and is showing us how strong our bond is. So what if we have to cut down on some luxuries? Now we have the luxury of time and share a very affectionate and strong relationship.
    I am sure this down phase will soon pass and we will look back and smile at the tests we endured together. )

  • Sarah says:

    What if my husband lost his job by way of an unethical decision. How should my support be?
    Tough times…

  • D says:

    08/07/2013 – Hello Jamie! Praise our Lord for everything. Our Lord has blessed me with gainful full time employment in my field and new affordable housing. My current landlord is understanding of everything. I will be paying back the accrued back rent on monthly plans and have asked that they send a letter to her attorney indicating that she too is still responsible for covering the rent as a co-tenant. As for the wife issue, it’s been 5 months now since I’ve heard from or seen her. She filed for divorce I was served the papers last two months ago. Pretrial was a few days ago and the actual trial is in September. I do not have an attorney and cannot afford it nor any resources. She’s asking for alimony and living on SSI or whichever the social security benefit thing is. I contested the divorce but it matters not in a no-fault state. My new church is awesome and I adore my pastors and everyone. I will not elaborate on the pretrial but it proved how cold and hardened she and divorce attorneys can be. Only our Lord can protect and defend me as the wonderful counselor, advocate, mediator, and source of refuge that he is. Many say I need an attorney, and based upon the pretrial, I’d partially agree. I was adamant about not pay alimony but that doesn’t matter how I feel because she brain washed everyone that she is so fragile, innocent, victimized, and unable to work. The day I took her to the ER, was the day I was to take her to her accounting job! She was physically/mentally aware and able to work! What a joke lies and deception can be when legal systems believe them without proof besides someone appearing to be distraught etc…. But praise God and I thank him for showing me the background of our legal system and how weak some people who claim to be Christians really are and their ways to get what they want by deception etc.. It hurts, but our Lord will see me through it. As I expressed to her attorney, I love her and would like our marriage to work with God’s help despite all the deception, ppo, and divorce things she’s doing. We are to forgive 70×7. Everyday I am in awe that as mr. sinner that I am, that my Lord and Savior still loves and provides for me. As His child and an aspiring pupil and imitator of HIM,I will love everyone and try to do as He commands daily. I give Him all the honor, praise, and glory for good and bad times….even when I feel He doesn’t come through in my time..I know he does, has, and will in His time if it is His will.

    I pray and ask for intercessory prayers for my wife J’s return to our Lord and that He convicts her and softens her heart. That He provides me strength, spiritual eyes, assurance of this is spiritual warfare, and ability to endure it all,accept all that comes out of the proceedings if He doesn’t get her to cancel the divorce; and still rejoice!(albeit I feel at times how can/could I….only by Him I can like Phil 4:13).

    God bless you and keep you in His care daily!

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Lord God I do pray for D and his wife. Lord You are far more aware of the details of their relationship breakdown and You know the path they need to walk in order to find healing and love again. I pray that You would help D deal with the pain of betrayal and give him wisdom of how to love his wife while she has turned her back on him. Guide his job search to find the place where he can provide for his family. I pray for D’s wife that she would hear Your voice and submit to Your direction in her life. In Jesus’ name amen.

    So D how are things going? What kind of support systems do you have in your life for difficult days like these?

  • d says:

    Like many of you, I don’t know if anger/frustration has been involved or not. My wife left me unexpectedly sometime during her stay in the ER after I dropped her off for physical weakness I believe resulted from her diabetes. I’ve been unemployed, collecting unemployment insurance and working freelance jobs while completing a degree. We agreed that she’d work a little to supplement the UE payments. But she became so stressed at her previous 2 jobs that she quit one and I don’t know what the result was from the job she had while in the ER. The morning i took her to the ER, she was preparing herself for work and fell in the kitchen when she said she needed to go the hospital to see why she was so weak. I believe she used the hospital as an excuse to leave me, place a ppo against me, and plan her move. She hasn’t returned any calls or texts or anything. Its been 5 weeks now and the only text I received was that she said that she said she needed space(which we never discussed) and that she filed a ppo against me to guarantee it. The second text was simply please stop contacting her or she’ll contact the police and she doesn’t want me to get into trouble. Everyone, I’ve done nothing wrong or anything beside ask her why I felt she lied about her diabetic levels in front of the social worker(whom appeared after I requested to see the doctor assisting my wife who was connected to iv needles etc.). The social worker said that I needed to be quiet and leave. I said I wasn’t leaving and that they could call the security until my wife explained to why she either lied all this time about her daily meter readings being fine or the meter being wrong, or the nurse that told me her levels were over 400 lied. I asked if she contacted her boss(whom she said she didn’t want to talk about it then) and that I felt she was there 90% her fault because she consumed 2 2liters of regular soda and a couple of cans of regular soda within 2 days prior to me taking her to the ER. I told the social worker, in case my wife didn’t tell them, I was telling them and my wife was crying awefully loud and bad appearing that I was harming her. I told them that I wasn’t there to cause harm or upset the wife but she never returned my calls nor anyone at the hospital telling me any status except that my wife said she wasn’t receiving any calls from anyone. Everyone, this has been draining me emotionally and everything. All I can do is pray for strength and pray for her to do what’s right by God and not divorce(which I asked via text if she was planning to divorce). When I quoted to her vows and emotions she expressed to me days before all of this she said please stop. That was that. Still have not heard from her. I’m praying she will call and talk to me unless she’s been ordered not to contact me either….especially by there being an active PPO against me. I begged her not to do anything like that because it would most definitely impact me getting a job again with the military, government, and other various industries. I am soooooooooo sad but rejoicing that at least I’m alive.

    I need everyone to pray for deliverance and restoration of our marriage. Divorce is not an option. We’ve discussed it dozens of times because we were both indirect products and that it hurts everyone. Her family has always been against our marriage and have even planned a divorce party at one point, according to my wife. My wife demonstrated Christ’s model of a woman and was influential in my becoming the believer that I am, which I’ve expressed and thanked her for numerous of times. God is the only one I can talk to along with you.

    God bless you and your prayers!

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Bradlee, unemployment is so hard on marriages. The stress of a limited income can often lead to accusations and conflict that builds walls between spouses and erode trust. Sounds like you guys are experiencing all of that in spades!

    The key to any conflict in marriage is talk things through to a place where both of you understand what the other is thinking and feeling. So for you, it is important to understand the fears and concerns that your wife has around your disability and unemployment. You also want to be able to help your wife to understand what is going on in your heart and mind.

    A lot of couples have found it helpful to get a counselor to help them develop healthy habits of communication that promote understanding and unity rather than tear it apart. Do you think your wife would be open to that kind of help for your marriage?

  • Bradlee says:

    I am disabled now with sleep apnea and hypersomnia.
    I have been let go early from my last 5 jobs.
    I have only worked about one entire year since 2010.
    My wife is very frustrated with me and doesn’t know what to do about this.
    Her family and friends are constantly feeling sorry for her.
    She is not very supportive at all and she keeps thinking I am faking it to transfer all the responsibility over to her.
    My disability makes it very difficult for me to think clearly sometimes.
    We are pursuing social security disability and the lawyer informed us that I should not work at all until I receive social security disability which can take up to two years to come through.
    I don’t know how long my unemployement will last because I am on tier II and tier IV is not available in Florida.
    I don’t know what to do when my wife starts complaining.

  • Sharon says:

    dear maggie–prayer–father God i pray right now for maggie’s husband i pray taht you will lead him to a job that you have for him and just for him i pray for a miracle for him give him favor and give him dreams and visions on where he should go for working and give him favor with the employer saying hey we were looking for a man just like you to work and hire him for good money too i pray for maggie too for your healing hand over her and surround this family with your loving arms of love and continue to provide for them i pray all of this in JESUS name amen i am praying for you both God be with you at this time i feel for you tough.

  • maggie says:

    Trusting in God is the only answer. My husband has lost his job and I am bed ridden with illness. He tries very hard to be upbeat but it is very hard when you get rejected. God is the only way to keep hope. I pray for all of you.

  • Doris Beck Doris says:

    Catherine that’s wonderful! Thank you so much for letting me know that you have been in touch with a mentor! I know that you will be so encouraged by her!

    I also believe that God sent you here to this website so that you would be encouraged and ministered to! Blessings to you today and may God continue to flood your heart and mind with his peace that truly passes all understanding!

  • Catherine says:

    Thank you so much for your prayers. I have Recoeved a mentors thank you so much. I truly believe God sent me to this website. Your comments and prayers have been felt and a peace is comforting me now. Thank you so much.

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