Making a Childhood Awesome

Written by Serena Wang, Translated by Henry Tung

Do you have pleasant childhood memories?

When you think about your childhood, does it evoke fond memories or feelings of depression?  Maybe you cherish the good old days, and the time you spent with a great family and loving parents. Or perhaps you had an unpleasant childhood and remember nothing special about your youth.  Unfortunately, many people have a childhood they would rather forget.

The traditional Chinese hierarchical family system prevented fathers from freely expressing love to their children.  So in traditional Chinese families, the father usually plays the role of the disciplinarian, which often results in his children having misconceptions about him.  However, he is usually the one who adores his children the most.  Chinese mothers are mostly conservative in terms of expressing love to their children and do not take the initiative to build an intimate relationship with them. This makes them feel that their mother’s love is conditional.

Your children deserve a pleasant childhood

Whatever memories you have of your childhood, don’t let it interfere with the wonderful experiences your own children should have.  If you never had a close relationship with your parents as a child, don’t let that stop you from being intimate with your children.  As a parent, you must put your love into action by constantly reassuring your children of your unconditional love. As they enter adulthood, it will help them to build a healthy self-image.

Suggested activities for a wonderful childhood

A famous female Chinese writer, Chu Chun, has valuable insights on some of the common issues faced by Chinese families.  As the key to building an intimate relationship with your children, she recommends spending time with them “one-on-one” and participating in their favorite activities.  By doing so, your children will feel that they are your number one priority, and that love will fulfill any of their emotional shortcomings.  This will promote a more mature personality and a better self-image.  Below are some suggested activities for helping to make that wonderful childhood a reality.

1. Bake some cookies or pastries at home together.  Teach your children how to use a cookbook.
2. Have lunch together and let your child decide where to go.
3. Try new things like traveling by train or a bus if you always drive.
4. Shop in a pet store.
5. Take a walk together in the park.
6. Participate in your child’s class activities, or spend a half-day in his/her class.
7. Ride bikes together.
8. Take an early morning mountain-climbing trip.
9. Play ball together.
10. Take you child out for ice cream.
11. Research a small animal together. You could go to the library or the zoo.
12. Tag along with your child and visit his/her friends.

Whenever you plan to have a date with your kid, make a coupon book with each coupon listing the date, location and activity.  Then decorate them with stickers and find different reasons to give those coupons to them.  They’ll treat them like a treasure and eagerly wait to receive them.  Those dates will offer them priceless memories, and your unconditional love will be reconfirmed.  Naturally your relationship will grow more intimate with your children.  My friends, are you ready to spend time with your kids and have some fun together?

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