http://powertochange.com Sat, 11 Feb 2012 23:55:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 http://powertochange.com/family/assistedliving/comment-page-1/#comment-51720 Judieth Magee Tue, 27 Oct 2009 14:47:24 +0000 http://thelife.com/?page_id=11979#comment-51720 Many time my mothers niece had told me my 91 year old mother should be placed in the Nursing Home rather than living at home alone. I was very adament that this would not happen, that I could take care of mother at home. She wouldn't stay with me but wanted to remain at her home. Mother turned over in the bed in July & broke her collarbone, that began our 1st ER visit. This incident was determined to be a result of brittle bones & nothing could be done other than giving her a sling to immobilize the arm. Mother continued to be very sick so I carried her to the ER 2 more weekends in a row and requested she be hospitalized. They said they couldn't find any reason to admit her. The 4th week I got her an appointment with her physician who sent her straight to the hospital. After a 5 day stay & all types of test it was determined mothers cancer(formally breast) had returned throughout her body & bones with approximately 2-3 months life span. She was going to be discharged on the 5th day just as sick as when she was admitted. I told mother the whole truth & asked her did she think I could care for her at home. She replied "no." I asked her what she wanted me to do-try to keep her in the hospital or check on a Nursing Home. She told me to check on a Nursing Home. Fortunately the #1 rated Nursing Home in our area had a vacancy and she was transported directly there still very sick. I cried for 3 days because mother had to enter the Nursing Home-I felt I had failed her and broken my promise to care for her as long as I was physically able. My sister had died in 2005 with an agressive type breast cancer. Well mother was so content and "hit it off" with other Nursing Home residents that I began to wonder why I had not listen to her niece a year ago. Everyone loved her-staff included! I seldom missed a day visiting the Nursing Home and I would wheel her to the piano & play gospel music(she taught me) & the other residents would gather in to listen & sing songs. Eventually Hospice was required at the Nursing Home as mothers condition greatly worsened. I then knew without a doubt that the right choice had been made because there wasn't any way I could have done all that they & the Nursing Home staff provided. I was allowed to stay at the Nursing Home with her when it became apparent the end was near. For 6 days & nights the staff provided for my comfort & needs. Mother died Oct. 11th, the staff & other residents cried as if she had been their mother-they called her "granny." So moral of story sometimes the person you are debating about admitting to a Nursing Home may adapt better than you imagine and actually enjoy being there with others of their own age. Just make sure you choose a good rated Nursing Home & talk to some of the residents for their opinion-they'll quickly tell you how they feel. Many time my mothers niece had told me my 91 year old mother should be placed in the Nursing Home rather than living at home alone. I was very adament that this would not happen, that I could take care of mother at home. She wouldn’t stay with me but wanted to remain at her home. Mother turned over in the bed in July & broke her collarbone, that began our 1st ER visit. This incident was determined to be a result of brittle bones & nothing could be done other than giving her a sling to immobilize the arm. Mother continued to be very sick so I carried her to the ER 2 more weekends in a row and requested she be hospitalized. They said they couldn’t find any reason to admit her. The 4th week I got her an appointment with her physician who sent her straight to the hospital. After a 5 day stay & all types of test it was determined mothers cancer(formally breast) had returned throughout her body & bones with approximately 2-3 months life span. She was going to be discharged on the 5th day just as sick as when she was admitted. I told mother the whole truth & asked her did she think I could care for her at home. She replied “no.” I asked her what she wanted me to do-try to keep her in the hospital or check on a Nursing Home. She told me to check on a Nursing Home. Fortunately the #1 rated Nursing Home in our area had a vacancy and she was transported directly there still very sick. I cried for 3 days because mother had to enter the Nursing Home-I felt I had failed her and broken my promise to care for her as long as I was physically able. My sister had died in 2005 with an agressive type breast cancer. Well mother was so content and “hit it off” with other Nursing Home residents that I began to wonder why I had not listen to her niece a year ago. Everyone loved her-staff included! I seldom missed a day visiting the Nursing Home and I would wheel her to the piano & play gospel music(she taught me) & the other residents would gather in to listen & sing songs. Eventually Hospice was required at the Nursing Home as mothers condition greatly worsened. I then knew without a doubt that the right choice had been made because there wasn’t any way I could have done all that they & the Nursing Home staff provided. I was allowed to stay at the Nursing Home with her when it became apparent the end was near. For 6 days & nights the staff provided for my comfort & needs. Mother died Oct. 11th, the staff & other residents cried as if she had been their mother-they called her “granny.” So moral of story sometimes the person you are debating about admitting to a Nursing Home may adapt better than you imagine and actually enjoy being there with others of their own age. Just make sure you choose a good rated Nursing Home & talk to some of the residents for their opinion-they’ll quickly tell you how they feel.

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