Comments on: Helping Children Cope with Separation and Divorce http://powertochange.com Sun, 03 Jun 2012 03:08:50 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: <span class='mentorBadge' title='Brenda is an official Power to Change mentor.' >Brenda</span> http://powertochange.com/family/childrenofdivorce/comment-page-1/#comment-657166 Brenda Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:57:02 +0000 http://thelife.com/?page_id=5615#comment-657166 Melly, I am so sorry to hear about the pain you and your family have been experiencing through the multiple deployments of your now ex-husband, cancer, and now separation and divorce. I believe you are right when you say that not all marriages can be saved. Both partners have to give their all in a marriage, and when one is not willing or able, then that can definitely spell the end. I have walked the path of divorce, Melly, and I understand the pain you are undergoing, as well as why you say you miss married life but not the painful aspects that accompanied it. Thankfully, it sounds like you have successfully manoeuvred through the trials and conflicts that were leading your children to suffer so deeply and have created for your family a contented and safe environment in which much love, peace, and joy is shared. Your story is one that, while sad, speaks to the power of love in one person's heart to heal the wounds in others', as you are so obviously doing in the hearts of your children. May God richly bless you and your children in all areas of life, Melly. I am praying for you and your family. Melly, I am so sorry to hear about the pain you and your family have been experiencing through the multiple deployments of your now ex-husband, cancer, and now separation and divorce. I believe you are right when you say that not all marriages can be saved. Both partners have to give their all in a marriage, and when one is not willing or able, then that can definitely spell the end.

I have walked the path of divorce, Melly, and I understand the pain you are undergoing, as well as why you say you miss married life but not the painful aspects that accompanied it. Thankfully, it sounds like you have successfully manoeuvred through the trials and conflicts that were leading your children to suffer so deeply and have created for your family a contented and safe environment in which much love, peace, and joy is shared. Your story is one that, while sad, speaks to the power of love in one person’s heart to heal the wounds in others’, as you are so obviously doing in the hearts of your children. May God richly bless you and your children in all areas of life, Melly. I am praying for you and your family.

]]> By: melly http://powertochange.com/family/childrenofdivorce/comment-page-1/#comment-651525 melly Sun, 05 Feb 2012 19:48:51 +0000 http://thelife.com/?page_id=5615#comment-651525 I have to say not all marriages can be saved. The children are the innocent victims in all of this. I have 2 young children and their father and i divorced over PTSD. He was deployed way too many times in our 8 year marriage. It was hard for us to go from being a single parent and a single soldier to being a married couple with children. He was deployed 6 times in 8 years. I am grateful for his service but his service ended our marriage because we couldnt stop fighting over me doing what i have always done surviving. When i found out i had cancer that was the straw that broke the camels back. I dont know if it was because he couldnt fix my cancer or because he felt responsible but he found what i couldnt provide in the arms of another woman. They are now married and have chosen not to have a relationship with my children which is very sad but it is what it is. My daughter have had alot of issues due to our divorce in the past 3 1/2 years. They are finally able to go to friends and family members houses for a sleep over with out crying or needing to come home to momma. I miss being married but i dont miss that bad parts of that marriage or always being alone. Now i have a small loving family. We spend alot of family time together so that they can see how to be independant and still know how to take care of life. I have to say not all marriages can be saved. The children are the innocent victims in all of this. I have 2 young children and their father and i divorced over PTSD. He was deployed way too many times in our 8 year marriage. It was hard for us to go from being a single parent and a single soldier to being a married couple with children. He was deployed 6 times in 8 years. I am grateful for his service but his service ended our marriage because we couldnt stop fighting over me doing what i have always done surviving. When i found out i had cancer that was the straw that broke the camels back. I dont know if it was because he couldnt fix my cancer or because he felt responsible but he found what i couldnt provide in the arms of another woman. They are now married and have chosen not to have a relationship with my children which is very sad but it is what it is. My daughter have had alot of issues due to our divorce in the past 3 1/2 years. They are finally able to go to friends and family members houses for a sleep over with out crying or needing to come home to momma. I miss being married but i dont miss that bad parts of that marriage or always being alone. Now i have a small loving family. We spend alot of family time together so that they can see how to be independant and still know how to take care of life.

]]> By: <span class='mentorBadge' title='Bernard is an official Power to Change mentor.' >Bernard</span> http://powertochange.com/family/childrenofdivorce/comment-page-1/#comment-282416 Bernard Tue, 20 Sep 2011 06:11:53 +0000 http://thelife.com/?page_id=5615#comment-282416 I pray with you Anne that this will not turn out and that the children will be free from chaos and guilt. I pray for Peace in this family and that they will be able to reconcile. Thank you Lord for your love. Amen I pray with you Anne that this will not turn out and that the children will be free from chaos and guilt. I pray for Peace in this family and that they will be able to reconcile. Thank you Lord for your love. Amen

]]> By: Anne http://powertochange.com/family/childrenofdivorce/comment-page-1/#comment-271335 Anne Fri, 16 Sep 2011 04:20:58 +0000 http://thelife.com/?page_id=5615#comment-271335 I am divorced due to stubborness and pride I am now paying the price of a single life. Through prayer and asking for forgiveness I have faith and hope because I made my peace wiht God and my ex-husband. I can not help thinking sometimes what a terrible mistake I made, had I known the truth of DIVORCE. It has struk again, my daughter and her husband are seeing lawyers but nothing concreate has happened, they have sold their house and living apart. Mu daughter has the kids and it is very sad to see her two daughters, their anxiety, arguing about rules and aggressive behaviou toward their mother and each ohter. I pray this does not work out and they are able to see what harm this is doing to their girls. Root cause in this situation is money,infidelity and no knowledge on parenting they are both stubborn and did not like advice. I am divorced due to stubborness and pride I am now paying the price of a single life. Through prayer and asking for forgiveness I have faith and hope because I made my peace wiht God and my ex-husband. I can not help thinking sometimes what a terrible mistake I made, had I known the truth of DIVORCE.
It has struk again, my daughter and her husband are seeing lawyers but nothing concreate has happened, they have sold their house and living apart. Mu daughter has the kids and it is very sad to see her two daughters, their anxiety, arguing about rules and aggressive behaviou toward their mother and each ohter.
I pray this does not work out and they are able to see what harm this is doing to their girls. Root cause in this situation is money,infidelity and no knowledge on parenting they are both stubborn and did not like advice.

]]> By: <span class='mentorBadge' title='Andrew is an official Power to Change mentor.' >Andrew</span> http://powertochange.com/family/childrenofdivorce/comment-page-1/#comment-140796 Andrew Sun, 24 Jul 2011 02:51:45 +0000 http://thelife.com/?page_id=5615#comment-140796 I believe that all marriages can be saved however the only way that this can occur is by allowing the Holy Spirit to heal the hurts. Divorce is never the answer however many times in life people do not see what is happening in the home. When divorce does occur if there are children involved then it is important that God's love still come through the spouse who did not wish to get divorced. In John 8:32 Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. If you are married and having difficulties ask Christ through the Holy Spirit to show you the truth. When you know the truth then you can deal with the issue and be set free. It is only God who can let a person know if they should get divorced as there are many issues that others are unaware of. If a husband or wife is addicted to porn then as Jesus said when someone looks lustfully at another mans wife he has already committed adultery. If every night porn is being watched then adultery is being committed according to Christ. Tragedies do occur it is how we deal with the tragedy that matters as children from broken homes still can be taught Christian values and God's love. God takes a tragedy and makes something beautiful out of the tragedy as he knows we are sinners. David committed adultery,lied, and killed he suffered for it but without his suffering we would not have the Psalms which many people are comforted. The book of Proverbs would not be in the Bible as King Solomon was Bethseba's son that was born form King David. Many times in our lives we do not want to cause pain to the ones we love however tragic divorce is no matter how hard we try to prevent it in our lives it does occur. This gives us an opportunity to show God's love to the children and others around us. I believe that all marriages can be saved however the only way that this can occur is by allowing the Holy Spirit to heal the hurts. Divorce is never the answer however many times in life people do not see what is happening in the home. When divorce does occur if there are children involved then it is important that God’s love still come through the spouse who did not wish to get divorced.

In John 8:32 Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. If you are married and having difficulties ask Christ through the Holy Spirit to show you the truth. When you know the truth then you can deal with the issue and be set free. It is only God who can let a person know if they should get divorced as there are many issues that others are unaware of. If a husband or wife is addicted to porn then as Jesus said when someone looks lustfully at another mans wife he has already committed adultery. If every night porn is being watched then adultery is being committed according to Christ. Tragedies do occur it is how we deal with the tragedy that matters as children from broken homes still can be taught Christian values and God’s love.

God takes a tragedy and makes something beautiful out of the tragedy as he knows we are sinners. David committed adultery,lied, and killed he suffered for it but without his suffering we would not have the Psalms which many people are comforted. The book of Proverbs would not be in the Bible as King Solomon was Bethseba’s son that was born form King David. Many times in our lives we do not want to cause pain to the ones we love however tragic divorce is no matter how hard we try to prevent it in our lives it does occur. This gives us an opportunity to show God’s love to the children and others around us.

]]> By: Ernest http://powertochange.com/family/childrenofdivorce/comment-page-1/#comment-136740 Ernest Mon, 18 Jul 2011 18:13:08 +0000 http://thelife.com/?page_id=5615#comment-136740 I deeply do understand that people will separate no matter what.....I just know what he bible says about marriage and the ONLY way you can divorce, "abuse or adultery." I wish people would do what the bible teaches and nothing more but then again that would be like telling sinners to straighten up. I really love my wife but she wants out and my hands are tied. We have three beautiful loving children and they dont want to leave their dad. We've been married 13 yrs, been through alot and lost everything from the recession but we can do it.... I deeply do understand that people will separate no matter what…..I just know what he bible says about marriage and the ONLY way you can divorce, “abuse or adultery.” I wish people would do what the bible teaches and nothing more but then again that would be like telling sinners to straighten up. I really love my wife but she wants out and my hands are tied. We have three beautiful loving children and they dont want to leave their dad. We’ve been married 13 yrs, been through alot and lost everything from the recession but we can do it….

]]> By: <span class='mentorBadge' title='Claire Colvin is an official Power to Change mentor.' >Claire Colvin</span> http://powertochange.com/family/childrenofdivorce/comment-page-1/#comment-136687 Claire Colvin Mon, 18 Jul 2011 16:20:25 +0000 http://thelife.com/?page_id=5615#comment-136687 Earnest - I completely disagree. Sometimes, in spite of the very best efforts of one partner, a marriage fails. To suggest that people just need to work harder to save their marriage is cruel. If one spouse decides that they do not want to be in the relationship, the marriage will end. If the relationship is abusive, it needs to end. Suggesting that offering no support to those whose families have been ripped apart will somehow contribute to saving marriages is simply untrue. Yes it is in everyone's best interest to keep a family together whenever it is safe to do so. Yes, it would be lovely if all marriages could be healed, if no family ever broke up. But we're grown-ups, we know it doesn't always work that way. Sometimes marriages fail and when that happens children go through enormous stress along with the parents. It's important to help parents know what they can do to help their children through this awful time. Earnest – I completely disagree. Sometimes, in spite of the very best efforts of one partner, a marriage fails. To suggest that people just need to work harder to save their marriage is cruel. If one spouse decides that they do not want to be in the relationship, the marriage will end. If the relationship is abusive, it needs to end. Suggesting that offering no support to those whose families have been ripped apart will somehow contribute to saving marriages is simply untrue.

Yes it is in everyone’s best interest to keep a family together whenever it is safe to do so. Yes, it would be lovely if all marriages could be healed, if no family ever broke up. But we’re grown-ups, we know it doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes marriages fail and when that happens children go through enormous stress along with the parents. It’s important to help parents know what they can do to help their children through this awful time.

]]> By: Earnest http://powertochange.com/family/childrenofdivorce/comment-page-1/#comment-136581 Earnest Mon, 18 Jul 2011 13:42:52 +0000 http://thelife.com/?page_id=5615#comment-136581 First of all we shouldnt be teaching ways to cope w/separation but only ways to keep the marriage together. I'm looking for ways to show the worst case scenarios of what happens to children through separation and everyone explains how to have children cope.......we should be teaching a way to keep families together and cope w/the troubles or problems that the family faces. First of all we shouldnt be teaching ways to cope w/separation but only ways to keep the marriage together. I’m looking for ways to show the worst case scenarios of what happens to children through separation and everyone explains how to have children cope…….we should be teaching a way to keep families together and cope w/the troubles or problems that the family faces.

]]> By: Janet http://powertochange.com/family/childrenofdivorce/comment-page-1/#comment-105848 Janet Tue, 22 Feb 2011 12:48:21 +0000 http://thelife.com/?page_id=5615#comment-105848 I found your website helpful but said. It is such ashame that children should even have to be put threw any pain or problems. I am a christian and am seeking ways to help my 8 year old niece cope with her parents. Thank God they have not yet separated but my sister is leaning towards doing that. She and my brother-in-law have both been saved and baptised, my sister about 3 years ago and him almost a year ago. The devil has such a whole on her heart and is draining the life out of that family so fast. They also have two older children age 26, a son and daughter 20 saved about 2 years ago. They all have fallen out of church. The grandmother a wonderful christian lady keeps the little girl afterschool and they are very close am are we. We both lover her so..... much and fear the pain she will be put threw because her mother is not living right and wants to move out to pursue a new life with her male friend. I love my sister but do not like her right now and we have always been so close. The devil has taken her over and at this point seems to be winning. Please pray for us all!!! I found your website helpful but said. It is such ashame that children should even have to be put threw any pain or problems. I am a christian and am seeking ways to help my 8 year old niece cope with her parents. Thank God they have not yet separated but my sister is leaning towards doing that. She and my brother-in-law have both been saved and baptised, my sister about 3 years ago and him almost a year ago. The devil has such a whole on her heart and is draining the life out of that family so fast. They also have two older children age 26, a son and daughter 20 saved about 2 years ago. They all have fallen out of church. The grandmother a wonderful christian lady keeps the little girl afterschool and they are very close am are we. We both lover her so….. much and fear the pain she will be put threw because her mother is not living right and wants to move out to pursue a new life with her male friend. I love my sister but do not like her right now and we have always been so close. The devil has taken her over and at this point seems to be winning. Please pray for us all!!!

]]> By: MyOntarioDivorce.com: The Blog » Blog Archive » Dealing with feelings http://powertochange.com/family/childrenofdivorce/comment-page-1/#comment-104832 MyOntarioDivorce.com: The Blog » Blog Archive » Dealing with feelings Tue, 15 Feb 2011 13:16:11 +0000 http://thelife.com/?page_id=5615#comment-104832 [...] Source Tags: Canada divorce, Children and Divorce, counselling, Divorce, Healing, ontario divorce, school teachers [...] [...] Source Tags: Canada divorce, Children and Divorce, counselling, Divorce, Healing, ontario divorce, school teachers [...]

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