How Do I Find a Christian Counselor?

For many, making the decision to seek counseling is difficult. Once you’ve decided (see “Do You Need Counseling?”), the next step is finding a qualified counselor who can help you.

While FamilyLife is unable to provide counseling, we want to encourage you in your pursuit of a qualified, Christian counselor who can help you in your journey to resolve marriage and family problems. We believe it is strength, not weakness, to acknowledge the need for help. The Bible has an applicable verse on this topic

Proverbs 15:22 says, “Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they succeed.”

Important Qualifications in a Biblical Counselor

Look for someone who:

Can provide evidence of solid biblical and counseling training and experience;
Loves people, perseveres through tough times, and is confident that Jesus works in His people;
Gives clear evidence of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Is compatible with you and you feel comfortable with

STEPS TO TAKE

1. Pray Ask God for wisdom to make the right decisions as you seek a Christian counselor. God promises to give you wisdom if you ask in faith (James 1:5-8). As you step out in faith, He will direct your steps to the right counselor (see also Psalm 23, Proverbs 16:3 and Philippians 4:6-9).

2. Seek counsel The Bible teaches that there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors (Proverbs 11:14, 15:22, 24:6). If you belong to a church, it is important to ask your pastor, other church leaders, to recommend a qualified counselor. Your pastor is in the church to give direction and care for the congregation. He or she may be able to offer some biblical direction or resources that can help, while you find the right counselor. He or she will also be praying for you during this difficult time.

If you do not belong to a church:

- ask a trusted, respected friend. They may have already spent time with a Christian counselor. If the counselor was able to help your friend, then he or she may be worth your prayerful consideration.

- use our Referral Counselor list.

Consider this: One reason many people face problems is because they lack the right foundation, biblical information, encouragement, and modeling to help them succeed. Being involved in a local church may be one of the most important steps you take toward resolving the issues you face.

ISSUES TO CONSIDER

1. Your faith. Personal faith is essential to the process of growth in and through trials. What you believe to be true makes a huge difference. In the midst of intense suffering and pain, God is willing and able to help you. He will be our strength and our place of refuge whenever we need Him (Psalm 46:1-3); and He promises Christians that in all things, even the most difficult, something good will come out of it. Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. As you look to the Lord through the Bible, He will give you peace, strength and wisdom to make good decisions. Click here for an explanation about how you can know God personally.

2. Your understanding of the problem. Gaining understanding of the problem and how to address it, gives you a good starting point. It is very important to admit and confront your own part of the issues you face.

In addition to the Bible, there are bible based resources that offer encouragement and instruction. Ask a trusted wise friend to recommend resources in the area you are struggling. For more suggested resources refer to More Help.

QUESTIONS TO ASK A PROSPECTIVE COUNSELOR

It’s important to make an informed decision about each counselor you consider. If possible, ask these questions on the phone before an appointment, or discuss them during your first meeting. The kind of counselor you will want—one who is humble and committed to the Bible—should have no problem helping you in this way.

You may want to discuss the answers with a friend. Don’t forget to pray for God’s wisdom to make the right choice.

Ask your prospective counselor:

What is your approach to understanding people’s problems and helping them grow and change through counseling? Please describe this process.
What are some books or other resources that you recommend on a regular basis or that have most influenced your approach to counseling?
Are you a Christian? How does your faith affect your view and practice of counseling?
Do you bring Christian truth into your counseling practice? How? What role does the Bible play?
Do you pray with those you counsel?
What is your educational and professional background? What role does it play?
7. Are you married? Do you have children? How does your marriage and family situation affect how you counsel people?

REMEMBER. . .

Counseling is an interactive process. It is built, established, and maintained on the basis of trust. Open and honest dialogue between a counselor and client is the most important component of building trust. If you cannot establish this foundation of trust early on—if you are not confident that the counselor will be wise, biblical, loving, and faithful in your interaction—you may need to look elsewhere.

On the other hand, if you find a wise counselor who uses God’s Word to help you grow in your Christian walk, in your marriage and in your family, Scripture says you will be blessed! As Proverbs 3:13 tells us, “How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding.”

HELP OTHERS