What if my Spouse Refuses Help?

If your spouse won’t go to counseling or see a marriage coach you need to turn your focus on you instead of him/her.  Remember you cannot control your spouse and trying to do so will only make things worse.  It is ok to suggest counseling and to have a discussion, but if they flat out refuse, do not badger or punish them for this decision.

We all get caught up in blaming the other person after all it is much easier to see your spouses’ faults than to reflect on your own.  Having a spouse who refuses to get help paves the way for you to work on you.  You cannot control your spouse, therefore do not try.  Take this opportunity to make personal changes.  Don’t let your spouse’s resistance control you.

Millions of people around the world turn to prayer and the Bible as a source of help when dealing with difficult situations. Both offer comfort and the realization that you are not alone in this – there is hope and help. Remember, God is the ultimate source of help and He loves you.  He is the ultimate supply for all your needs. Your spouse can never meet all your deep needs, but God through Christ Jesus can. Give Him all your hurts, confusion, and trust.  We have prayer mentors available to pray with you.  To learn more about knowing Jesus click here.

Philipeans4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

Don’t give up on your spouse, pray that God will change his or her heart to be open to receiving help.  You might want to pray specifically that God will bring someone into your spouse’s life that he or she will hear. Also, ask God to open their heart to attend a marriage conference.  Here at FamilyLife we offer marriage conferences, A Weekend to Remember and A Day Together.  This can be a less intimidating, but very helpful option for getting help.  There are no group activities, just time for you and your spouse to focus on each other by attending the conference and working on projects together.

In the meantime, you need people around you that will encourage you with hope and help, choose a friend, mentor, or go to counseling yourself.  You might just be amazed at how things change as you focus on you!  We have trained mentors available for you.