I Thought It Was My Fault Video provided by: I Am Second

On a motorcycle, Laura Klock is fearlessly in control. She and her daughters are record-holding motorcyclists. However, her journey towards the finish line had not always been a smooth ride. As a young adult, Laura’s devastating feelings of being rejected, unappreciated and unloved were wrapped in a mantle of drugs, alcohol and unhealthy relationships.  Listen as she shares her journey through the twisted, windy paths that has brought her to where she is today.

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10 Responses to “I Thought It Was My Fault”

  • Esther Esther says:

    Rejection is very painful and often causes people to do or say what at times they regret later. Others end up putting on masks to cover their real selves. I for one have gone through a lot of rejection from both the very closes of loved ones to the distant people. It only takes the hand of God to go through such an experience. I found my solace in the word of God and particularly in prayer! This has led me to write a book on rejection, which is not yet our!

    The best place to hide when faced with rejection according to me is in the word of God, not in alcoholism or any other vice, but the word, and above all PRAYER!

  • Esther Esther says:

    When faced with a situation of rejection and are pushed to the corner, we tend to feel that we are to blame. In this case, we end up with ‘self rejection’ and agree (or think) that we are not good at all. We also end up blaming ourselves for all that goes wrong around us. We are taken on a guilt trip. We end up being ‘sorry’ even for what we are not guilty of!

    One thing I ask myself is “How does God see me?” Does He see me as that bad person deserving rejection or does He accept me just the way I am? God in His word has promised to be with us in every situation and says that He will never leave us nor forsake us and that He will be with us through the fire and the waters. We can come back to Him through repentance and accepting Him and allow Him to restore us back to Him. What I know is that rejection is very painful! We should not allow ourselves to think that it is our fault to be in situations where we are, but we can get ourselves out of them if we are determined to, and live a normal and healthy life both spiritually and physically as well as emotionally.

    Laura, please know and understand that it is not your fault and never will it be! God is in control of your situation and loves you dearly.

  • therese says:

    i am going thru a divorce and blamed myself for him leaving.
    I went into therapy during this time and looking back I have always blame myself for everything that went wrong. There were times when I knew I did not do something wrong but took the blame anyway for my children so they would not get in trouble with their father.
    Looking back I think that I married my husband thinking he would always be there for me and taking care of me. This was never the case, he financially did take care of us but he never did the things I wanted to, going on vacations spending family time unless it was fishing on the boat.
    I don’t know who I am, I have no interests and I need to find myself.
    I also have a hard time letting people get close to me. I wear many masks and see like I don’t need any help and am strong. I have always been this way.
    We have not touched on this in therapy why i am the way i am and why I always feel the need to make everyone laugh, and do for them but can not ask anyone for help or seem weak. I also have a hard time telling peole I love them.

  • shelley anderson says:

    Let us pray to our Father my friend.
    Dear Abba Father Daddy
    Lord I lift up my sister to you at this time in her life as she needs You to be with her even though You never leave her or forsake her. You are always there 24 hrs a day 7 days a week. Lord I pray that you will comfort her and let her know that You love her in all areas of her life.
    In Jesus Mightyname amen

  • Jer says:

    Therese,

    I went through something very similar at least in my personality and I went through a divorce (was left). The first thing I did when my ex left me was I needed to understand what a marriage was supposed to be like in a real Christian environment. I watched videos from Pastor Jimmy Evans and their Marriage today ministry and Pastor Mark Driscoll and his Real marriage series.

    One thing I knew is I needed to find out who I am as a person but I needed to find out who I am in Christ and how He sees me and what He did for me and all of us. Many people who have a hard time connecting to people like you and I have been through some sort of emotional or physical abuse at some point in their life. One of the first things I had to understand is that it wasn’t my fault and I can be a better person.

    Every great journey begins with a single step, to me that step was the bible.

    I hope we can communicate some more here and I pray you let us know how you’re doing.

    Heavenly Father, I pray for Therese’s marriage that you restore it and let them both see that marriage is so important and that feelings are unreliable they change like the tides in the ocean. I pray that they have softened hearts. Amen

    Please let us know how you’re doing.

    God Bless,

    Jer

  • Esther Esther says:

    Therese, as you continue to blame yourself, you allow Satan to torment you. You allow him to keep you in bondage such that whatever the problem you have had in your marriage, you see it as your fault. I do not dispute the fact that you may have also contributed to the divorce process, yet you also know that you too were wronged.

    The fact that you took blame for your children only shows the love you have for them and the fact that you did not want them to be in the way of your relationship, and that you wanted to create peace and harmony in your relationship and that between your husband and children.

    The fact that your husband does not do what you expected him to do in your marriage should not wear you down. Given that he supports you financially, implies that he is not a very bad man. Probably he may not find fun in what you cherish more. I do not know much about issues in your marriage but I feel there is room for reconciliation, making up, it is not all lost. This is the reason why you need to know who you are, you need to allow yourself to relate with other people and do not wear masks because they are not a true reflection of who you are. Do not pretend to be who you are not because it will hurt you more as you are smiling when you know that you are hurting from the inside. You are not strong and as such, you need help.

    It is good to open up to a friend, a confidant, so that you do not walk this tough journey alone. If you do not feel free telling people that you love them, I suggest that you tell that to your children, and above all, tell God! God and your children should be your starting point, then you can be comfortable telling others around you. The word of God says “Jeremiah 31:3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness”. Show Him your love today! Experience God’s Love.

  • RealHonestAnswer says:

    Well it is certainly God’s fault that I’m Not married with a wife and family that so many others were very Blessed to have, but with so many Not so nice women that are out there does certainly add to the Problem as well these days.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Real Honest Answer, in a world where so much is out of our control I can see how you get to the place of saying it is God’s fault that you are single. What ways do you see Him thwarting your efforts to find a woman to love?

  • RealHonestAnswer says:

    To Jamie, well i always meet the women that are very nasty to me when i will try to start a conversation with the one that i am attracted to. Women today are nothing like the good old fashioned women that existed years ago, when our parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles had very long lasting marriages which certainly made it a lot easier meeting women back then. Today they are looking for the Rich Man instead since many women these days are Very High Maintenance, and the women of years ago Accepted their men for who they were since both men and women had to Struggle to make ends meat. I have other friends that had similar experiences with these type of women too. It is a very sad time that we live in today that women have certainly Changed for the Worst today, and it is very obvious why there are so many of us Single men now. Peace.

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