What is Wrong With Multiple Sex Partners? Video provided by: TruthMedia Films
Is it emotionally dangerous to have a lot of sexual partners? We are all aware of the physical risks associated with multiple sex partners, but could these choices also put you at risk for heartache?
It might surprise you to hear that research shows that people who wait until their married to have sex end up with the best sex lives and the most satisfying marriages. Sheila Wray Gregoire talks about the difference between making love and having sex and what you can do if it’s already too late to wait.
Take the next step:
How to have fantastic sex
The 5 levels of intimacy
Unmet expectations: What do you do when the sex doesn’t measure up?
Hi Lilith, I appreciate that in the conversations you have had with your friends but there are published studies that do indeed show that couples who do not have sex prior to getting are more stable and report more satisfaction in their sexual relationship. The “Journal of Family Psychology” published a study by Dr Dean Busby that showed “the following benefits enjoyed by couples who waited until marriage compared to those who started having sex in the early part of their relationship:
– Relationship stability was rated 22 percent higher
– Relationship satisfaction was rated 20 percent higher
- Sexual quality of the relationship was rated 15 percent better
– Communication was rated 12 percent better.” (quoted from http://news.byu.edu/archive10-dec-benefits.aspx)
In the April 2011 issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family, a study showed, “Women who had sex for the first time as teens (17 or younger) as compared to women who delayed until adulthood (18 or older)
•31% divorced within 5 years as compared to 15%
•47% divorced within 10 years as compared to 27%
•31% had premarital sex with multiple partners versus 24%
•29% experienced premarital conceptions versus 15%
•25% had a baby before marriage as opposed to 10%.” (quoted from http://waitingtillmarriage.org/losing-virginity-as-a-teen-means-higher-chance-of-divorce/)
Both of these studies do acknowledge that this is one aspect of a couples health and waiting to have sex is not the only ingredient to a stable marriage, it is a significant contributor to greater marital satisfaction.
“It might surprise you to hear that research shows that people who wait until their married to have sex end up with the best sex lives and the most satisfying marriages”
Uhhh, no. Every woman I know who waited to have sex until she got married is divorced. All they think about is what it would be like to be with someone else.
Those are some good practical suggestions Noodles. Something that makes a huge difference in my life when I have been hurt is to remember God’s promise that “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose”. So rather than getting overwhelmed by hurt or anger, or allowing it to lead me into poor life choices, I focus my attention on recognizing how God is directing me and following His lead.
Channel your hurt or anger…Work out, study, learn a skill (Cooking, dancing, musical instrument)…Change your style, get rid of old useless things and try to start fresh…It’s okay to hurt for awhile but anything past 6 months is getting toxic.
Sometimes I didn’t care or have the energy but I made myself remember why I was like that and got mad and hit the gym…AND ABOVE ALL…KEEP A JOURNAL so you can see your progress…Best of luck to all.
So Noodles you are saying that the choice you made to fill your time with drinking and sleeping around was the wrong choice. Instead people should just allow time to pass without those other activities. How do you think your choice has affected your ability to be in healthy relationships now that you are healed of the hurt? Do you have any suggestions of what to do in that time that it takes to heal that will be more positive choices?
Errrrm maybe I didn’t write my point as clearly as I should have.
I “USED to be proud” but I discovered “Truth is I was mostly sad and lonely”
“I WOULD have traded 90% of them for the 10% that I missed and that mattered to me.
Being Hispanic MADE ME THINK I would just drink and mess around till I forgot the one I loved BUT truth is you NEVER forget.”
“Till the day I no longer NEEDED closure that was the day I no longer hurt or needed to sleep around or get drunk.”
So yes of course it was destructive hence the comment…Was my crutch now luckily it’s not.
If you don’t mind me being blunt Noodles, that sounds like a pretty destructive path for healing. Getting drunk and sleeping around until the hurt goes away does not seem like you are being healed. It sounds more like you are just creating more damage, like smashing your hand to forget about the pain of a stubbed toe. Didn’t all the other unfulfilling relationships cause more hurt to your heart?
Nothing but time cleans up the past…When those you love for whatever reason decide to close the door NOTHING but time will heal it.
It is not very manly to beg, demand or remind…I’ve notice many people have sociopathic traits…Meaning they can take and take then disappear and you expect them to call or write and they don’t.
Till the day I no longer needed closure that was the day I no longer hurt or needed to sleep around or get drunk…It’s sad but the best thing to do after a break up is to cut off ALL contact.
So how do you deal with that now Noodles? Have you found a way that heals that hurt?
Used to be proud that I’d had so much experience truth is I was mostly sad and lonely sleeping with other sad and lonely women.
I would have traded 90% of them for the 10% that I missed and that mattered to me.
Being Hispanic made me think I would just drink and mess around till I forgot the one I loved but truth is you never forget.